Are they too busy answering a higher calling to answer the phone?

[Gypsy]

WARNING: I''M INDULGING IN A TOTAL BRIDEZILLA MOMENT


I''m having the most frustrating time finding an officiant. They don''t return emails, phone calls, messages. John''s been hunting for a week, and NADA. Not even a courtesy call back.

You''d think for the prices they charge they''d answer the phone. So far we''ve only looked at officiants with the designation "REV." .... I think I''m going to try to find a JOP. Maybe they''ll be attentive to eartly needs instead of heavenly ones.

I gotta tell you Registering a friend or family member as our officiant is starting to look REALLY appealing. John''s Uncle or Cousin are this close to getting a request.

 

[FrekeChild]

....passing a glass of wine and a plate of chocolates....

 

[turtledazzle]

Date: 2/14/2008 12:59:00 AM
Author:Gypsy
WARNING: I''M INDULGING IN A TOTAL BRIDEZILLA MOMENT


I''m having the most frustrating time finding an officiant. They don''t return emails, phone calls, messages. John''s been hunting for a week, and NADA. Not even a courtesy call back.

You''d think for the prices they charge they''d answer the phone. So far we''ve only looked at officiants with the designation ''REV.'' .... I think I''m going to try to find a JOP. Maybe they''ll be attentive to eartly needs instead of heavenly ones.

I gotta tell you Registering a friend or family member as our officiant is starting to look REALLY appealing. John''s Uncle or Cousin are this close to getting a request.

Gypsy -- Sorry you''re having a frustrating time finding an officiant. I hate to recommend The Knot since it is such a snarky place, but the local board for my area was really helpful for these kinds of things. This is how I found our officiant -- so maybe check out the local Knot board for your area if you haven''t already done so.

Oh, and friends of ours had another of our friends (who has a nice speaking voice and enjoys giving talks) do the online registration thing to be their officiant -- so that''s definitely a possibility as well. It worked out for them.

Good luck, and you''re certainly not being bridezilla about this. I hate not getting a call/email back from people -- drives me up a wall. Most of our vendors were really good, but our caterer was pretty bad about response time and my now DH ended up having to do all of our dealings with her after a while ''cuz he thought I was going to lose it (and she already had our deposit, of course). It all worked out in the end, and she did a great job and people really complimented the food, but geez ... I know they do a ton of events, but it is a lot of money to me so please return my dang calls/emails!

Sorry, my rant is now over!

Good luck!

 

[gtn]

Oh honey I''m sorry. If you wanted a catholic priest, I could give you a whole bunch of names. Of course a priest would not do a ceremony at a winery.
My girlfriend got married near Los Gatos, should I ask for her offician''s name and contact?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:04:02 AM
Author: FrekeChild
....passing a glass of wine and a plate of chocolates....

Thank you honey. I grabbed the 72% dark. This is no time for half measures. I would snort this stuff if I could!

Turtle. Yeah, it''s a pet peeve of mine. I''ve been talking to three florists and one was eliminated last night when she finally responded to me, with a qoute FOR SOMEONE ELSES WEDDING, after a two weeks of my requests.

You and your hubby sound like John and me. He''s our ''customer complaint'' and ''difficult vendor'' department. He''s got patience, and a general faith that most people are generally good and helpful I completely lack. Two of the officiants were from teh local board rec''s. But then again, I am being cheap. I don''t want to pay more than 400 for an officiant. It''s looking like I''m going to have to up the anti. Good thing I got a STEAL on my gown, to make up for the bump that looks inevitable in the officiant budget.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:12:06 AM
Author: gtn
Oh honey I''m sorry. If you wanted a catholic priest, I could give you a whole bunch of names. Of course a priest would not do a ceremony at a winery.
My girlfriend got married near Los Gatos, should I ask for her offician''s name and contact?

Yes please. Please. Please, please, please.

The stupid knot checklist thing is smirking at me "start researching officiants that suit your style"... it''s got an exclaimation point next to it telling me I''m behind, I''m overdue, that I''ve got to get going. And I just want to check it off.

MORE CHOCOLATE!!!! John''s opening a bottle of wine now.

 

[FrekeChild]

....passing more chocolate....

(Good thing it''s almost Valentine''s Day, there''s an awful lot of it around right now!)

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:34:49 AM
Author: FrekeChild
....passing more chocolate....

(Good thing it''s almost Valentine''s Day, there''s an awful lot of it around right now!)

Freke honey, you are one GREAT friend. Thank you.

I wonder if they make chocolate IV''s. Sometimes I swear I could use one. The wine is yummy too. Kunde Zinfandel.

 

[FrekeChild]

No problem-o. I wish I had some Zin, it''s been a rough day. And I''m not even planning a wedding!!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:40:46 AM
Author: FrekeChild
No problem-o. I wish I had some Zin, it's been a rough day. And I'm not even planning a wedding!!

I'll share the Zin if you share corgi cuddles.

I love corgis.

Why was your day so rough? What's up? SPILL LADY!

 

[gtn]

how about some 80% dark from Brazil? I think tough times require more cacao right? I am waiting for my friend to get back to me with the officiant name. I will pass it to you as soon as get it.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:44:17 AM
Author: gtn
how about some 80% dark from Brazil? I think tough times require more cacao right? I am waiting for my friend to get back to me with the officiant name. I will pass it to you as soon as get it.

Ooooh 80% from Brazil? *drool* Oh yeah... that''s the stuff!!! Mmmmmmmmmmm. I''m already on my second glass of wine. Feeling better though.

Thank you VERY MUCH gtn. VERY VERY VERY Much. I appreciate the help a lot.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:42:26 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 2/14/2008 1:40:46 AM

Author: FrekeChild

No problem-o. I wish I had some Zin, it''s been a rough day. And I''m not even planning a wedding!!

I''ll share the Zin if you share corgi cuddles.

I love corgis.


Why was your day so rough? What''s up? SPILL LADY!

I don''t think I need to even try to share corgi cuddles. He''s very willing to give those out!

BF has mono and some kind of nasty bacterial infection that''s forming a cyst in the back of his throat. I feel terribly guilty about the mono because I had it about ten years ago, and from what I understand, it can be passed on at any time, even after it''s been dormant for years.

He''s the sole breadwinner in our house and a graduate student, and this all means that life is just going to be that much harder on him. (I live off my savings, financial aid and a stipend my parents give me while I''m still in school.)

My mom has a nasty bacterial infection in her intestines, she''s severely dehydrated and has lost 15 pounds because of it-and she''s on chemo (not at the moment, but as soon as she''s better....) I haven''t seen her in 2 weeks now because I was afraid to pass on whatever BF had to her-and I am SO GLAD I didn''t go over there knowing now that he has mono. But my dad just hired someone to go over and help take care of her, make sure she eats and takes her meds, and that there is food in the house, but I feel so guilty for not being able to help her out more.

I had an awful exam in my Brain and Behavior class today, and I don''t think I did well AT ALL (memorizing the brain and all it''s functions is not my idea of fun, and definitely not easy) and I''m ending the day with a nasty headache. Plus, I have a Statistics test on Friday and I''m just not looking forward to that at all, mostly because my teacher kind of sucks at explaining things. Especially statistic type things.

Other than that, life is just peachy.

Ok, I''m done now. After all, "Tomorrow is another day." Thanks Scarlet. And thanks Gypsy for letting me whine and for listening. I''m sorry I''m thread jacking.

And I think it''s time for bed. I think that''s the only remedy for this headache.

I don''t know much about officiants, but I''m thinking a JOP might be the next avenue to check out...

 

[Gypsy]

If I hadn't just finished the bottle of wine, and lost my typing coordination I'd type a lot more. But honey. First, ((HUGE HUG)). Second, your mom is in good hands, and I understand wanting to be with her, but afraid of infection. I've been sick on and off since December, and now John is sick with a bad bronchitis. Mom's going in for surgery number 3 in less than a month and I've got to keep my distance as I can't risk infecting her with anything. And it's hard. So please, know you aren't alone honey.

Take the night, go to bed and dream sweet dreams of everyone healthy and happy and laughing and know that we are here for you, and always willing to lend a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold. Take a couple fo asprin. Get up in the morning and start studying. I was always amazed at the amount of information I was able to assimilate and absorbe first thing in the morning as opposed to other times. Just me, the rising sun and some tea with my studies. No interuptions nothing. A couple of morning hours did me more good than 6 hours of afternoon studying.

Don't stress the brain test. Just put it out of your mind. It's passed. What will be willl be. Look to the future and imagine eveyone whole healthy and happy with you, around you...and give thanks for the people in your life, and the love. It's going to be okay sweetie. Just take it one day at at time.

And if you need a drinking buddy... let me know, I'll bring the caccao.


ETA: The wine is done, and so am I folks. I'm off to bed. ((HUGS)) TO ALL. Thank you for the love and support.


And, I wish you wouldn't apologize for threadjacking. I LIKE threadjacking in my threads. I really do. Makes life interesting.

 

[partyjewels]

FrekeChild I''m sorry to hear things are going not so hot right now

I hope everything is looking brighter soon.

Gypsy, I can understand your frustration. I have someone I''ve been calling (non-wedding related) for the past MONTH. They are NEVER at their desk, they don''t return any messages I leave... FI even called them and actually got ahold of them, they told him they would call me the next Wednesday, and of course it never happened.

As far as wedding related stuff goes, it doesn''t seem to get any easier once you actually have the officiant booked! We''re getting married in a catholic church by a priest thats actually related to FI, I called and left a message weeks ago asking what the latest time we can start the ceremony is because we''re starting to want to at least talk about possible start times for the ceremony and reception. He wasn''t in when I called but the receptionist left him a message. We went to that church (not the normal church we go to) one of the weekends after I had called and I figured I''d just ask him the question because maybe he would know or have time to check while we were there after mass... he said oh yes! I''m sorry I haven''t called you back, yadda yadda yadda, I''ll be sure to check and give you a call this week. That was like two weeks ago.

I should call him back again I know, but I hate calling people and I''m just frustrated with all these people who don''t answer their phone or return their messages! Especially because I''m out of a job right now, and it makes me upset to think that these people (the first person I mentioned here) HAVE a job when they can''t be bothered to EVER answer their phone or return their messages!!! My two previous jobs were at places where the phones were always ringing off the hook, if I did happen to miss your call here and there, I''d be darn sure to at least respond to your message if you left one!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I''m done.

Basically what I''m saying here is don''t feel alone in the matter! *hugs*

 

[happy in love]

Gypsy,

What about having someone close to the two of you get ordained? We decided to ask my brother to be our officiant and he is so excited to do it! I think it will give a fun, personal touch to our simple ceremony.

I am under the impression that it is easy to do at getordained.org

Good Luck! I hope someone will answer your callls soon

 

[Maisie]

Date: 2/14/2008 10:18:15 AM
Author: happy in love
Gypsy,

What about having someone close to the two of you get ordained? We decided to ask my brother to be our officiant and he is so excited to do it! I think it will give a fun, personal touch to our simple ceremony.

I am under the impression that it is easy to do at getordained.org

Good Luck! I hope someone will answer your callls soon

I agree! If you choose someone close to you, who can cope with officiating, it would be much more reassuring for you. You will know for sure that they will turn up on the day, and that they love you and want your day to run smoothly.

Failing that - shall I come and do it?

I wonder if you can ordain a foreigner.....

 

[Gypsy]

PJ.. I'm sorry honey. I KNOW how frustrating that is. Gets on my last nerve. If I don't call someone back it's usually intentional. LOL. But otherwise, I call them, even if it's to say that I don't have time at the moment and schedule some time when I do!

Happy and Maisie:
I think John's uncle would make a FABULOUS (and affordable) officiant. Hopefully John will get as frustrated as I am and be open to the suggestion soon. Then BAM, we would have our officiant, and it would be OFF THE CHECKLIST. LOL.

I honestly think it would be really special to have him marry us. He's a great man, and has been wonderful to me. And he knows us, and well... it would be really lovely.

Oh, I really like this idea. Now I just need to sell it.

If I can't I'm gonna have to see about importing Masie!

 

[Maisie]

Yey!!!

 

[Haven]

I''m sorry to hear that you''re having such a difficult time, Gypsy.

Maybe some insight will help you feel a bit better--most clergy members have enormous congregations of people who are their first priority since they''re members of their church or synagogue or whathaveyou. Their schedules are generally extremely hectic, and they spend nearly ALL of their time working with members, visiting the sick in the hospital, officiating at life-cycle events, etc. Perhaps if you''re calling clergy who have their own congregations they are just inundated with work for their own members, and they simply have not had the chance to call you back. I know it doesn''t seem fair, but if you''re not a member of their church or whatever organization it is that they work in you probably aren''t going to be their first priority. I know this is the case with Jewish Rabbis, as I used to run a synagogue''s school, and our rabbi had a lot of requests to do weddings for people who weren''t members and he simply had to turn many of them down because his members came first.

I love the idea of importing Maisie, she''d be wonderful!

 

[cara]

Professional officiants charge loads of money but still not enough for full time employment! They all need day jobs! And, how to put this. There are certain types of people that might feel the calling to pick up a "marrying people" side job but these personality traits do not necessarily overlap with "organized" and "detail-oriented" to a degree necessary for running a small business in the wedding industry. In CA you tend to get middle-aged hippies and new-age spiritualist trying to supplement their income, if you are looking outside the churches. And the houses of worship might have administrative help, but they have congregations too as the previous poster mentioned.

Patience.

But I fully second the personal family friend officient. You live in CA so it is dirt easy. My friend got ordained by the universal life church online. It took 10 minutes and 13 dollars, but only 'cause she spent so much time deciding on her title (Goddess? Reverend? Holy Mother?) and decided she wanted an actual certificate to come in the mail.

We got her a nice gift, but otherwise free. And much better/more personalized/"us" that anyone we could have hired.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:47:40 PM
Author: Haven
I''m sorry to hear that you''re having such a difficult time, Gypsy.

Maybe some insight will help you feel a bit better--most clergy members have enormous congregations of people who are their first priority since they''re members of their church or synagogue or whathaveyou. Their schedules are generally extremely hectic, and they spend nearly ALL of their time working with members, visiting the sick in the hospital, officiating at life-cycle events, etc. Perhaps if you''re calling clergy who have their own congregations they are just inundated with work for their own members, and they simply have not had the chance to call you back. I know it doesn''t seem fair, but if you''re not a member of their church or whatever organization it is that they work in you probably aren''t going to be their first priority. I know this is the case with Jewish Rabbis, as I used to run a synagogue''s school, and our rabbi had a lot of requests to do weddings for people who weren''t members and he simply had to turn many of them down because his members came first.

I love the idea of importing Maisie, she''d be wonderful!

Wahey! Thank you very much

 

[misysu2]

Hey Gypsy. My FI is a doctor. I''d be happy to lend him to you to rig up that choco IV for ya.

I''m sorry you''re having problems. Maybe you should go for registering a friend or fam member. Would that make it more special for you?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 2:05:37 PM
Author: cara
And, how to put this. There are certain types of people that might feel the calling to pick up a 'marrying people' side job but these personality traits do not necessarily overlap with 'organized' and 'detail-oriented' to a degree necessary for running a small business in the wedding industry. In CA you tend to get middle-aged hippies and new-age spiritualist trying to supplement their income, if you are looking outside the churches.

This is EXACTLY what my impression is. A bunch of flakes looking to make a quick buck without putting any effort and time into what they are doing.

I'm definitely going to broach FI's uncle as our officiant. We'd be happy to get him a lovely gift. I KNOW he's attending, and I already have all the readings and things I want for the officiant to say... except for some personalized accounts that he certainly would be more qualified to give than some new age flake stranger.

I'm strongly in favor of this. But need to be careful how I bring it up to John.

misy... tell your dear FI that I'm already for that IV!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Ugh good luck Gypsy- what a pain that sounds like!

 

[FrekeChild]

I wonder if he could set up a chocolate/zin IV...that would be perfect.

Today was a better day Gypsy.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/15/2008 12:15:26 AM
Author: FrekeChild
I wonder if he could set up a chocolate/zin IV...that would be perfect.

Today was a better day Gypsy.

I''m glad honey. Very glad. ((HUGS))

 

[violet02]

Date: 2/14/2008 2:05:37 PM
Author: cara
Professional officiants charge loads of money but still not enough for full time employment! They all need day jobs! And, how to put this. There are certain types of people that might feel the calling to pick up a ''marrying people'' side job but these personality traits do not necessarily overlap with ''organized'' and ''detail-oriented'' to a degree necessary for running a small business in the wedding industry. In CA you tend to get middle-aged hippies and new-age spiritualist trying to supplement their income, if you are looking outside the churches. And the houses of worship might have administrative help, but they have congregations too as the previous poster mentioned.

Patience.

But I fully second the personal family friend officient. You live in CA so it is dirt easy. My friend got ordained by the universal life church online. It took 10 minutes and 13 dollars, but only ''cause she spent so much time deciding on her title (Goddess? Reverend? Holy Mother?) and decided she wanted an actual certificate to come in the mail.

We got her a nice gift, but otherwise free. And much better/more personalized/''us'' that anyone we could have hired.

ULC cost money? I got ordained for free from some other place but my friend is doing ULC. In CA they don''t require you to pay all the money for the certificate to show you are ordained. My friend is performing our ceremony. My only concern is what if said friend and I have a falling out! We''ve had some drama lately....

On another note, my wedding planner said officiants don''t like to book out more then 2-3 months before a wedding. If your wedding is further away then that Gypsy that may be part of the problem. I''m not sure if you said you wanted a religious ceremony or not. We''re not doing one personally.

 

[LegacyGirl]

Gypsy I have to add everytime I read this thread title I start cracking up. You are so funny!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/15/2008 2:41:46 PM
Author: violet02

Date: 2/14/2008 2:05:37 PM
Author: cara
Professional officiants charge loads of money but still not enough for full time employment! They all need day jobs! And, how to put this. There are certain types of people that might feel the calling to pick up a 'marrying people' side job but these personality traits do not necessarily overlap with 'organized' and 'detail-oriented' to a degree necessary for running a small business in the wedding industry. In CA you tend to get middle-aged hippies and new-age spiritualist trying to supplement their income, if you are looking outside the churches. And the houses of worship might have administrative help, but they have congregations too as the previous poster mentioned.

Patience.

But I fully second the personal family friend officient. You live in CA so it is dirt easy. My friend got ordained by the universal life church online. It took 10 minutes and 13 dollars, but only 'cause she spent so much time deciding on her title (Goddess? Reverend? Holy Mother?) and decided she wanted an actual certificate to come in the mail.

We got her a nice gift, but otherwise free. And much better/more personalized/'us' that anyone we could have hired.

ULC cost money? I got ordained for free from some other place but my friend is doing ULC. In CA they don't require you to pay all the money for the certificate to show you are ordained. My friend is performing our ceremony. My only concern is what if said friend and I have a falling out! We've had some drama lately....

On another note, my wedding planner said officiants don't like to book out more then 2-3 months before a wedding. If your wedding is further away then that Gypsy that may be part of the problem. I'm not sure if you said you wanted a religious ceremony or not. We're not doing one personally.

Hi Violet, that's good to know. Maybe I'm just too much of a planner for them? We're not planning anything religious at all. I think the word "God" was mentioned once in ONE of the poems I picked for readings and John nixed that one. If you hear of anyone promising, will you let me know?

Legacy--

I'm glad it makes you smile too. It was either scream or crack a joke at that point. When I PMSing, I'm nuclear.