Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[gem_anemone]

Oh and DH said last night that he thinks he should get a present for being a good coach if I'm getting the push present...to which I replied that it would have to come after baby, since we don't know how he'll do (I think he'll be perfect, actually), but we DO know that I'll be the one in pain for hours and having to deal with all kinds of not so pleasant stuff, so I DESERVE a nice little something! It isn't a common thing in our area either, but damn it, it's going to be a common thing for FPS!

Hahahaha! LOVE this! I agree. The woman sacrifices her health and well being to carry the child, she abstains from certain foods/drinks/activities for months (or years if nursing), and she is the one that gets poked, prodded, gains weight, and goes through all the pain and invasiveness of birthing a child! Maybe our DH's should take off their pants, put their feet up, and spread them for 24 hours for many doctors, nurses, and students to come take a look!

Edited to say that I always buy practical gifts off of the registry. I have probably bought the baby bath tubs for every single one of my friends/family who have had babies over the last 10 years. I do however throw in an extra outfit/socks/cutsie things that I want to give the baby that I like, but as a bonus, not the entire gift.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I am cracking up at the "DH spread your legs for 24 hours for the whole world to see" comment

My DH is so sweet, and last night he was like "this kid better be president of the United States after all that it's put you through in this pregnancy" but in general, DH is like "...this is just as much my experience as yours, and you don't understand how hard it is for me to do xyz around the house or with B..."and I am like, "nope, this is not just as much your experience and it is nowhere near as hard for you. You aren't puking on the street, or nauseous all the time, or constantly being kicked, or have stabbing crotch pain, or are soul-suckingly exhausted while trying to work full time, or have to DELIVER this child...

FPS-I hear you re the registry. We have a registry on Amazon of stuff we need for the baby, but our friends and family are spread out all over the world and I am not even sure if anyone is going to throw us a shower...so, we bought what we really absolutely need for the first few months (mostly on craigslist and our local parents listserve) and we'll see what happens.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

SOB I finally narrowed my choice of midwives for a home birth down to 4 to interview, with 2 coming with amazing reviews from several moms in our neighborhood some of whom had super smooth deliveries and some of whom had emergencies that were handled very conservatively, proactively, and professionally...just what I would want. Both those midwives will be out of town for the whole month of February

So, now I am hoping to talk to the other 2 tomorrow, but unless I get some incredible recs for others, I might still end up with a hospital birth which I am realizing more and more I don't want...

 

[marym]

Bella- first off, congrats on the pregnancy. I lurk on these threads, and I'm sure this post isn't necessarily going to be well received, but I felt I needed to post anyway. I have a family member who lost a baby during a home birth, so I feel passionate about this subject. I know a lot of women feel home birth is better due to less interventions, a more pleasant atmosphere at home, etc, but I just have to ask is it really worth it? Is the health and safety of your precious unborn little one and your own safety worth compromising? Please look at this link discussing real homebirths gone terribly wrong and how the number of deaths in homebirth situations goes grossly under reported. If I can convince just one woman to not risk the life of their baby by having a homebirth then I feel getting flamed by this post is worth it. I had a birth in a hospital that was very difficult, and I'm absolutely sure that if I had been at home the outcome could have been catastrophic for my baby and myself. The interventions aren't necessarily fun, but I would do it again in a heartbeat to ensure the safety of my baby and myself. Please take a look at this link so that you can be sure you are making a decision with your eyes wide open.

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/home-birth-statistics-fetal-deaths-injuries/51479633fe344411590004ba

 

[Laila619]

Bella- first off, congrats on the pregnancy. I lurk on these threads, and I'm sure this post isn't necessarily going to be well received, but I felt I needed to post anyway. I have a family member who lost a baby during a home birth, so I feel passionate about this subject. I know a lot of women feel home birth is better due to less interventions, a more pleasant atmosphere at home, etc, but I just have to ask is it really worth it? Is the health and safety of your precious unborn little one and your own safety worth compromising? Please look at this link discussing real homebirths gone terribly wrong and how the number of deaths in homebirth situations goes grossly under reported. If I can convince just one woman to not risk the life of their baby by having a homebirth then I feel getting flamed by this post is worth it. I had a birth in a hospital that was very difficult, and I'm absolutely sure that if I had been at home the outcome could have been catastrophic for my baby and myself. The interventions aren't necessarily fun, but I would do it again in a heartbeat to ensure the safety of my baby and myself. Please take a look at this link so that you can be sure you are making a decision with your eyes wide open.

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/home-birth-statistics-fetal-deaths-injuries/51479633fe344411590004ba

Oh that's so heartbreaking, marym. I am so sorry for your family member.

I considered home birth, but because of these stories, I decided against it.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Marym-I am so sorry for your loss! I can only imagine how heartwrenching that would be. I am so sorry!!!

I have spent much of the past few weeks considering those kind of situations and intentionally reading stories of women who have lost children or had children injured during home birth. I agree that it is very important to see and hear all sides of the possible risks. There are some very sad stories and some very irresponsible midwives and uninformed parents, as well as just some truly tragic accidents.

I also have several friends and friends of friends who have died, almost died, had their children deprived of oxygen, etc. due to mistakes during hospital deliveries. Child birth can be inherently risky and medical malpractice can be a real thing, despite all the precautions.

I have studied the statistics and risks and feel comfortable with a home birth for me and my situation so long as I continue to be low risk and find a CNM that I like and respect and has excellent references; however, there are many situations where I would not at all recommend home birth, and I certainly understand your concern and respect your sharing it.

To be clear about my situation, and the main reasons why I would feel comfortable with a home birth:

-my pregnancy is, and would need to continue to be, free of complications (thankfully, unending nausea is not a "complication")
-I live 12 blocks from a level 3 NICU and one of the best children's hospitals in the country
-my DH is an EMT
-I am only considering experienced Certified Nurse Midwives who are licensed to use and travel with Pitocin and oxygen, and are experienced in neonatal recescutation (sorry I can't spell
-I have an extensive list of questions to ask a midwife (50+questions that delve deeply into adverse situations and how she would respond) before I would consider her and I would seek to verify her answers as best I could
-I am only considering CNMs for whom I have received personal recommendations from multiple people
-I would have a very specific and conservative hospital transfer plan to immediately go to the hospital if any complications arise, even fairly minor ones
-my Dr who I respect and like (though his views are more interventionist than I would prefer mostly due to "hospital protocol) and is a very well respected OBGYN, straight-up told me to labor at home as long as absolutely possible and literally just come in ready to "push the baby out"--he actually said "if you are crowing when you come in, that is ideal if you want a natural birth"...in which case, risk-wise, I may as well just deliver at home.

Again, I am so sorry for your family's loss and agree that homebirth can have risks that parents should seriously consider and decide how to best mitigate.

 

[pancake]

Delurking for a second.

I'm a paediatrician and I am categorically anti-homebirth. I have seen too many homebirths go awry. I think Western culture is veering too far towards what is often called "patient empowerment" but in fact is putting highly technical information in the minds and eyes of people who do not have the commensurate training to make properly educated decisions about these things. I have participated in many, many neonatal resuscitations and I have no qualms whatsoever about saying that - with very few exceptions - the only people who perform really effective neonatal resuscitation are people who do it regularly, ie. paediatric doctors and neonatal nurses.

Obviously this is an issue in which the debate has many shades of grey, but that is well beyond the scope of PS.

With all that said, Bella, I know you are a smart woman and that you will have done your due diligence in researching the options before reaching your decision, and I hope everything turns out exactly as you hope

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

MaryM, I'm so sorry for your family's heartbreaking loss!

Bella and everyone else considering a home birth (I'm one of these people for baby #2), I think that so long as you're low-risk, educating yourself and are working with a highly trained midwife/birthing staff, then home birth will be an excellent option for you. I've had 4 friends who have done home births and have LOVED the experience they had. More intimate, little to no interventions and a feeling of being in control of your own body/birth. Bella, for you specifically, it sounds like you have an ideal situation for having a home birth and I wish you the very best in whatever decision you make!

The great news is that we as women have the option to have whatever birth we so desire (within reason), regardless of others opinions. I don't feel good at all about having interventions in birth, but I do think that the choice about having them is entirely up to the lady giving birth. As it should be!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Pancake-I get it, totally! Believe me, I want the best possible outcome for me and my baby The CNM I interviewed last night who I liked a lot, was a neonatal nurse for over a decade and is a clinical nursing instructor as well as an experienced CNM. She is quite conservative (which I like!) and has very strong hospital transfer plans/relationships if a risk factor arises during pregnancy or l&d.

I may start a separate thread re home birth as I don't want to take over this thread with my home birth decision making process

On another note, I am touring a smaller hospital that is 10 minutes away but in a neighboring state (NJ) to see if that might be a good in-between option (and then I have to see if insurance will cover it...).

 

[gem_anemone]

I am cracking up at the "DH spread your legs for 24 hours for the whole world to see" comment

My DH is so sweet, and last night he was like "this kid better be president of the United States after all that it's put you through in this pregnancy" but in general, DH is like "...this is just as much my experience as yours, and you don't understand how hard it is for me to do xyz around the house or with B..."and I am like, "nope, this is not just as much your experience and it is nowhere near as hard for you. You aren't puking on the street, or nauseous all the time, or constantly being kicked, or have stabbing crotch pain, or are soul-suckingly exhausted while trying to work full time, or have to DELIVER this child...

Yeah it is pretty annoying when the men act like they deserve the medal of honor just for doing what they are supposed to do which is being supportive and helping out as much as possible!

Sometimes when I tell other women about all the things that my DH does around the house they are shocked and act like he is the best husband ever. Well to that I say that while he far exceeds anything that many men do around the house, I still do more than him, and he could stand for improvement! Hahaha!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Bella, lots of luck with your decision. I'm not weighing in as I know you are taking everything into consideration, but I also know how difficult this can be. Not just creating the birth plan, but planning the contingency plans since no birth ever goes exactly as planned.

I also wanted to tell you that having more nausea in the 3rd tri is totally normal. The same thing is happening with me. And often with foods/times of day that were worst for me in the 1st tri. I hope yours isn't as bad as it was in the beginning, but that's one of the reasons (for me) that the 2nd tri is a honeymoon phase. And I feel cheated since I was nauseous for the first half of my 2nd tri. And then had shooting crotch pain the second half of my 2nd tri. But I'm trying to stay focused on the positive...even if right now the positive is that I only have a few more months.

FPS, people just love to get you what they want to get you and not what you need. There's good news and bad news. The bad news is that people will definitely buy off of your registry and you just have to smile, be polite and write a thank you card about the "adorable" and "useful" gifts that are really neither. The good news is that you already have your registry, so after your shower you can go buy all of the things that you consider "must haves". And that list of "must haves" in your mind is actually much longer than the actual list of things you'll need. But that's okay, it's part of nesting. The other good news is that even if you do end up sending your husband out to get something for you a couple of days after having the baby, they are more than happy to do so. After you have a baby, men are in this euphoric state of amazement.

Gem, how did the hospital tour go? Feeling better about finalizing the birth plan?

AFM, same ol', same ol'. I'm right at 28 weeks and feel big, but know I'll be getting much bigger. Seeing movement from the outside of my belly these days, which is especially alien-like. She got the hiccups for the first time yesterday, which was adorable. Everything is coming along well. Nursery is painted (painters are leaving today) and I have all of the furniture. I'm hoping to set most of it up after Thanksgiving, so maybe I'll post some progression shots. Still deciding on fabrics (like bedding).

No appts. this week, so I'm going to enjoy Thanksgiving and start getting into the Christmas spirit!

 

[gem_anemone]

NEL - The hospital tour was okay. I found it interesting that the tour guide (nurse) focused on how laboring there is seen as an active thing, i.e. walking the halls, sitting on balls, switching positions, etc., however I have a friend who just delivered there tell me that throughout her labor she was basically told to lay in bed on her back the whole time. So I am not sure what to believe and I don't know if it was her doctor or the hospital that caused that to happen to her.

I had an appointment today with a midwife. My baby is doing just fine. My 1-hr glucose test is in a month. I'm currently at 23 weeks 4 days. I had a long talk with the midwife about L&D. She was asking me questions about what I want in a delivery. I said I think I want to labor at home as long as possible, come to the hospital, get an epidural only in the event I cannot take the pain, and hopefully deliver vaginally as smoothly as possible. I told her that my worst nightmare is to get torn to shreds "down there". I said I would rather have a C-section than get ripped up down there. However, my other goal is to be as healthy as possible after delivery, so I can take care of the baby to the best of my ability.

The midwife asked me if I wanted a doctor or a midwife at my delivery. I think this is weird to make me choose. Is this typical? I said for emergency purposes that I thought I would want a doctor, however, from the sounds of how I want to face my L&D it seems that having a midwife there with me would be the better option. What do you ladies think? Midwife or doctor? The way this practice works is that I will be getting whichever doctor or midwife is on-call and this person may not necessarily be MY doctor or midwife. I'm sure if there are issues with the baby that cannot be handled by a midwife that a doctor would get called in, so part of me thinks that a midwife would be the better option and to only have a doctor intervene if necessary. Also the midwife is available to me throughout most of the labor, she is the only one checking me out "down there", whereas if I choose a doctor the doctor will show up only as medically necessary and a ton of random people and resident doctors will come in the room and scope out my vag throughout labor, which I don't want! My other issue is there are two hospitals that my practice uses. There is a doctor on-call to each hospital, however, there is only one midwife at a time scheduled on-call for both. My doctor only goes to one of those hospitals. If I call in for labor and I want to use the midwife and she already has a L&D going on at one of the hospitals I have to go to whichever one she is at to get her. So, the fact that it's a crap shoot that I would actually get my doctor makes me think it is not very important to be at a certain hospital. All that said, DH and I are scheduling to tour the second hospital, so I will let you ladies know how that goes. LOL. I'm leaning towards midwife, but I wanted to talk to you ladies, some friends, and DH before I decide.

Sorry for the rambling me-centric post. I hope everyone out there is doing well and trucking right along with those little ones!!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

NEL, good to know the hubs won't be too upset if I'm sending him out to pick up random things we must have for baby. I just really don't want to have to spend the extra money of we don't have to. The good news is that my Mom and one of my cousins who is throwing the baby shower said that she is going to wait to get me something until after the shower so we know exactly what we're missing and able to get something we really and truly need. Phew! They both just told me that this last week, which is nice, although I told both Mom and my cousin that since they're putting so much effort into the shower, a gift really isn't necessary. I did register for a few things we don't really 'need' so that I can just return them to whatever store and get something we will actually use. Another plus is that I am pretty much the last family member (of the cousins) to have kids, so I am getting a LOT of secondhand stuff from them, which is awesome. I am just thankful they already know what the main 'needs' are, so it kind of takes out the guesswork. Of my 2 registries, 6 things have been bought on one (including the fabulous britax car seat that I have been eyeing!!) and 9 things on another. My shower is Saturday and I'm mostly just excited to see all of my ladies! Funny thing; I told my Mom that I'm not all that interested in playing any typical baby shower games and you'd think I told her I want to strip naked and run through the shower lmao..it just isn't my thing! Oh well, she decided we have to at least play one game and she will also mark up a few plates and cups so people can win door prizes. Geez.

Gem, midwives generally try to focus on women who want the least amount of interventions and who would like to avoid c-ections and medication (to my knowledge). Based on the fact that you seem super open to epidural and c-sections, I would suggest having a doctor, solely because they midwife isn't going to be the one to perform either of those things for you. It seems like you're super open minded to birth plan changes, so I think it makes total sense that she asked you if you'd like to choose. Besides, if you're staying at home as long as possible, you have more options to avoid interventions if you so choose.

Bella, how are you feeling? Any luck nailing down a midwife?

AFM, I'm feeling a bit huge, BUT I love the belly! Tomorrow marks 34 weeks and I still cannot even believe it! 6 weeks to go until my due date and holy crap, we'll have a baby! Baby shower is this weekend and I'm just happy to get to see my friends that I haven't seen in ages! Plus, MIL is taking myself and SIL to get mani/pedis and lunch on Friday, so I am ridiculously looking forward to being pampered! It has been WAY too long since I've had a pedicure and DH tried to paint my toenails last week and was horrible at it, so I'm looking forward to feeling pretty

 

[lliang_chi]

Gem I had a midwife during my labor and it's not like the MW is sitting with you the whole time in L&D as you're contracting. She's popping in and out just like a doctor would but I'm sure you see her with more frequency than a doctor. The L&D nurses are the MONEY ladies as the ones that will bring you things etc. That being said, I am so glad i went with a midwife because she was with me during my c-section when the docs were closing me up on the table and DH was taking pictures of E. If she wasn't there, I would've been shivering on the table all alone with no one to hold my hand. One thing that DH noticed was there was definitely a hierarchy during delivery. L&D nurses defer to doctors but they were (in DH's word) not so deferential to the MWs.

 

[PetitiePoire]

Gem- I delivered outside of the US for #1. There it is common practice to have midwives deliver and the doctor only comes in if there is an emergency. I loved my doctor during the 9 months of visits, but it didn't bother me in the least that he wasn't there to deliver. My midwives were wonderful and I desperately wish I had the same opportunity here in the US that I had there. I did have an epidural and they were very willing to let me have it.


Hello all! It looks like I should move myself over here to this thread. I'm 15 weeks with number 2, due in May. We are excited to welcome a second baby, but it's been a far different experience than the first. Being busy with a one year old tends to take focus off of the fun parts of pregnancy vs last time. I'm not the best poster, but I do try to read every day!

 

[Mela4567]

Hi Bella, I lurk on here once and a while and thought I would share my own home birth experience. Personally, I feel that a home birth is a safe and conscientious way to birth your baby and research will support that claim. Despite all the medical advances of birthing in a hospital under the care of a doctor the US has one of the worst maternal neonatal outcomes in developed worlds. That being said, I did have a fantastic natural Birth of my daughter in hospital (no IV, intervention or drugs). When I was pregnant with number two I decided to go the midwife way for care. We had a home birth and it was such a wonderful and safe way to welcome our little one to the world. The level of care and attention I received from my midwife far surpassed my hospital doctor experience. I trusted my mw's experience and judgement and never had a moment of doubt. It also helped that my husband was 100 percent on board for the home birth and knew what to expect from baby number one. We also felt that it was an easier transition for our older child to welcome baby into the family and be a. More active participant in the process of new life! Trust yourself, trust the process of birth and don't let anyone scare you!

 

[gem_anemone]

I'm still kind of torn on what to do regarding the doctor or midwife. I'm actually not super open to a c-section, however I am pretty open to an epidural if it's not too early in the labor and I *think* I would much rather a c-section than an episiotomy. I'm only guessing that both are completely awful recoveries and in some cases one or the other may be unavoidable. I just really want normal working lady parts after I give birth. LOL. Is that too much to ask?

Anyway not much is different here. Little man is kicking the crap out of me daily. It's kind of fun actually.

ETA...Forgot I wanted to ask...is anyone getting a convertible crib? I don't understand the point of a toddler bed and I don't want my child to have a full size bed, which most of them convert into that. Also all the conversion kits seem to cost as much as buying the extra piece of furniture, so I'm thinking "no". Any thoughts?

 

[PetitiePoire]

Gem- I had an epidural early on (3cm). For me, it was the best decision ever after 3 days of back pain/labor. I really thought I would wait as long as possible, thinking 6-7 cm, but apparently my pain tolerance is rather low. I also had an episiotomy and the recover was no big deal. I wasn't in any pain and was actually glad I had it because TMI it probably tightened things up down there a little better than not. I had everything prepped for a horrendous recovery, but everything went smooth. I could sit/stand/walk/wear normal clothes just fine. I am terrified of a c-section, so I was glad they did the episiotomy. I actually didn't find out they did it until the midwife told me afterwards and at that point was just grateful everything was quick and baby was there!

Regarding the convertible, we have one for DD. I thought it was a fabulous idea while pregnant with her, but now I'm like you. I don't think we will switch to the toddler and a full size is a waste of space. At least a queen could be used for guests one day, should it be needed. Unless the price is the same, I'm not sure I will go with a convertible with this next baby.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Hey, Gem! As far as recoveries go, the episiotomy will be much easier to recover from than a c-section. Just think that they are doing a tiny cut in your lady parts (by the way, this is still something I DEFINITELY ant to avoid, as even if you tear, it's an easier recovery, in most cases) versus major abdominal surgery, via the c-section. One thing the hubs and i are going to try is to do the perineum massage. We're actually going to start that this week. it sounds weird and a little awkward, but the hubs volunteered AND we both know it'll give me more of a chance to avoid tearing. Thankfully, episiotomy is something they don't normally do these days (at least at my practice) and the midwife we have will NOT do one at all, unless something crazy comes up. Would you or your hubs be willing to try the perineum massage? They talk about it in our Bradley class, but I heard about it a while back and it has helped several of my lady friends. If a c-section is really something you want to avoid, I suggest having as little interventions as possible (i.e. laboring at home as long as possible, not having too many vaginal exams, definitely avoiding being induced, etc). Obviously some things are unavoidable at the time, but at least you can do your best to steer clear of any of the things that sort of push a c-section. I read something once that if you get induced before you're 4cm along, you're way more likely to be pushed to have a c-section. We made our birth plan and that was one huge thing I do not see myself compromising on, unless some sort of crazy emergency arises. Thankfully, our midwife really does like to wait things out and let the baby come when SHE is ready, not when the midwife herself is ready. I think that is another difference between midwives and doctors; doctors tend to do things on their time and midwives seem to do things on your time and the baby's time.

Bella, NEL, how are you ladies doing??

AFM, we had our baby shower this weekend and that thing was MASSIVE!! We did get a ton of stuff we need, but I will be doing some returns within the next couple of days to get rid of some of the duplicates and honestly, just to get her stuff to be more manageable! I will be returning a bunch of the clothes she's gotten, since she really is only so small for so long. Anything newborn size is going back. We got a few cloth diapers from my MIL (5) and some from a good friend of mine (2) and my Aunt gave us 9, although I'm not sure that they will be my favorites..we'll see. Plus, with cyber Monday, I was able to score another 10 yesterday for around $68 and they are the kind I like, plus 2 of a newborn brand that I'm interested in seeing in person. I think the cloth diaper situation is under control, which is awesome! We may need to pick up another wet bag (we got 2), but other than that, I feel good. We even got some cloth wipes, which I'm stoked about using! We didn't get a stroller or pack n' play, but hopefully with the returning I'll be doing, we can find some good deals. I got a moby wrap from my SIL and I am so excited to use that! I feel like maybe we should wait on getting a stroller until spring, since it isn't like I'll be out much with her during the winter months and if I am, I'm likely to be wearing her. I do want a pack n' play, since it will be used as our changing station on the first floor (another friend did this and it was so smart!!), but my cousin just offered to give me her daughter's pack n' play to use, which is awesome!

Tomorrow marks 35 weeks and we will begin our perineum massage, I'm sure it'll be super awkward, but I'm looking forward to the benefits of it. DH is such a trooper and he is totally on board with this and actually, it was HIS idea to start early (we talked with the midwife and she is good with it). I'm starting to figure out what I want to put in the hospital bag and have gotten a small pile going this afternoon. On Thursday, I have an appointment with my midwife in the morning, then I'm meeting with the perinatologist who I saw previously for a sonogram to assess how big our little miss is getting and to make sure we look good for everything. They just want to make sure the GD isn't causing her to be crazy big. So yeah, please keep your fingers crossed on that! Oh and adorable thing; she has gotten the hiccups twice in the last few days! One was yesterday morning before the hubs went to work, so I had him come back upstairs and feel her rhythmic little thumps before he left for work...LOVE! The LO isn't moving as much, but when she does move, it is more of these HUGE wiggles and squirms, over the smaller kicks. I still get those and small movements too, but it feels like the huge movements are the latest thing. She is running out of room in there and she is trying to escape lol basically, things are good my way! We're still working on random house stuff (read: the HUBS is working on random house stuff lol), but the nursery is about 98% done (he just needs to hang the light up and I need to finish putting away all of her things) and I'm feeling really good these days. Phew...freaking 5 weeks to go! Ahhh!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Gem-for our son we had a convertible crib and LOVED it. It was perfect for him. Converting it to a toddler bed got us another year of use out of it and then when he was 4 we purchased bunk beds for his room and got rid of the crib. but his room is small and we live in Manhattan, so space is always a concern for us.

This baby will just be in a rock n play in our room and then a pack n play in B's room once they sleep through the night (or some approximation thereof and hopefully that will get us through to when they can sleep in the bottom bunk with a bedrail on the side.

FPS-Yay for a shower!!! Glad that you got so much that you needed and hope that you are able to get the stroller, etc.

Gem-my understanding is that many Drs do not perform routine episiotomies any more. I would be very firm with your provider that you would rather risk a tear than have an episiotomy unless it is an emergency/medically necessary situation. In our childbirth class, we learned that if you have not had an epidural (so that you can fully feel the pushing) and pant/push more slowly as the baby's head and shoulders are being born, you dramatically reduce your risk of a tear. Hot compresses to support your perineum and massage with olive oil as the baby is crowning are also supposed to help a lot, as well as possibly starting perineal massage around 34 weeks (data is mixed on that). There is also a device you can get in Israel called an Epi-no that some people use. Again, the data is mixed and sometimes it can leave you more stretched out down there after birth.

DH is an EMT. Since they can't administer drugs, they have to be trained in natural childbirth and they are taught as standard protocol to do hot compresses, support the perineum, and help the mother slow her pushing as the baby comes out to reduce tearing. I think that we are going to skip the perineal massage, but definitely do all those tings during labor.

AFM-Still nauseous, all.the.time. Super tired and fighting a cold. I have 9-10 more weeks to go and am really ready to be done being pregnant (every time I think that though I also tell Roo, "stay in as long as you need and don't come before 39+weeks when your lungs are ready"...so clearly, I'm a little conflicted on the topic

My aunt and uncle sent us some gifts off of our Amazon registry which was SO exciting (baby monitor, stroller toys, and a dancing alligator pull-toy). Also, my nana gave us a very generous Christmas present which will help make my unpaid FMLA leave much less challenging.

I am interviewing midwives and have basically narrowed it down to 2 home birth midwives who I met this week and 1 hospital birth midwife who I am meeting next week. She delivers at the smaller hospital that would be my transfer hospital for a home birth. I like it very much, but it is still a hospital setting. There are insurance issues with the hospital midwife though, so we'll see how that works out. Hopefully I'll get this all figured out before Christmas!

I'm also interviewing part-time nannies/babysitters as we will need someone to pick B up from school 2 days a week starting in late Jan. through the end of the school year and maybe to help me out a few hours a week as DH has an insane school schedule in the spring. Work is crazy right now, so I have events at least twice a week from now until Christmas.

Things are feeling very busy!!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I would just like to say that December is crazy enough without having to prepare for a baby. So this December for me (so far) has been insane.

Bella, sounds like things are really hectic for you. Interviewing of midwives and nannies is so time-consuming. It's worse during a month when there is no time to spare. Lots of luck to you!! And I'm so sorry about the nausea. I don't think my 3rd tri nausea is as bad as yours because I can avoid certain foods (although things like brushing my teeth still make me gag), but the heartburn is killing me. I've actually lost weight in the past month.

FPS, sounds like your shower went really well!! Does it feel even more real now that you have a ton of stuff and are pretty much completely prepared? Sounds like everything is really coming together! Oh, and I wanted to tell you that it might make sense to have a couple of newborn onesies on hand. I only had 0 - 3 month clothing for K and she was swimming in them, so I ended up running out when she was about 10 days old to get a few newborn clothes. But it totally depends on the baby (K was 7 lbs. 5 oz. at birth). And I'm in the same delimma as you about stroller vs. wearing. I've held off on getting a double stroller because I was a huge fan of wearing K, but newborns sleep a ton, so if the new baby is asleep in her carseat, I don't want to wake her up by putting her in the wrap. Most of my outtings are to Target or the grocery store, so I can put the carseat in the cart without needing a stroller. Or I can put the carseat bar back on K's Bumbleride Indie if I really need a stroller. Anyway, I think you'll love the Moby wrap...I got everything done around the house while wearing K.

Gem, I have a cheap crib (technically now I have two cheap cribs because I liked the first one so much). I can convert it to a toddler bed that looks mostly like a crib with a small area for them to get in and out. I'm actually a fan of this as I have a real fear of K falling out of her bed. If I didn't do the converter kit, I'd just put her mattress on the floor when it was time for her to graduate from the crib. Tons of luck deciding on the birth plan, I feel your pain there.

PP, welcome!! We're in similar boats in that I'm also on #2 and this pregnancy has been much different (read: tougher) for me. Plus, my anxiety this time is all about how K is going to adjust. And logistics of caring for K while having a new born. Making sure K's schedule isn't disrupted while I'm in the hospital for days. Anyway, you get it. I'm just having a tough time.

AFM:
1. Had the 1 hour glucose test yesterday and it went well--they called me in the afternoon to let me know I passed.
2. Still deciding on a C-section date. D and I had planned to go with 2/17 since it's a Monday and it would be the least disruptive to Katie's schedule (she could stay in daycare while I was in the hospital all week), but 2/17 is a hospital holiday, so they won't schedule a c-section. So we're still debating. I'm about 90% sure that I'm going to go into labor before my due date (2/19), so natural childbirth vs. C-section is still being discussed ad nauseam.
3. Holy heartburn. I've been taking a Zantac 150 in the evenings, but may need to start taking one 2x per day. At least the shooting crotch pain is a little better, so I'm only dealing with one really uncomfortable thing at a time.
4. Still plugging away at the nursery and getting together a list of things needed before this baby comes. Only 10 more weeks or so!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Bella, I love that your hubs is an EMT and so well versed on natural childbirth! I just spoke with our midwife yesterday morning and she said that while having hubs do the massage now isn't a bad thing and can certainly help, it will be more for me to get used to some of the sensations that happen while giving birth. During the actual labor, she will do some massaging, along with hot compresses, however she mentioned that they won't massage too much, as they don't want me to swell. She will also be assisting with massage while baby is crowning, so I am less likely to tear. Also, so glad to hear you've gotten a couple of gifts from your registry! Isn't it fun to see stuff ticked off of your list?!

NEL, things are definitely getting more real on my end! Now that we have so much stuff for her and I'm actually putting things in their place, I'm starting to realize we really don't have that much time left! Also, thanks for the tip on the onesies! While we did return all of the new newborn stuff we received from the shower, my Mom and cousin had already given me a bunch of newborn onesies and sleepers, so we are set with those. And it's good to know that a stroller really isn't 'needed' at this moment! I talked with the hubs and my Mom and they both agree that waiting until spring/summer to get one is a smart idea for us and we will just baby wear until then. Oh and YAY for passing the glucose test!! Hopefully you'll be able to figure out the best date to welcome the little one or maybe the little one will decide for you lol

Gem, how are you feeling? Any luck in deciding on dr or midwife?

AFM, phew, the last 24 hours have been crazy! Yesterday morning I met with the midwife and she measured me and found the belly is still at 33 weeks (I'm actually 35 weeks, but this isn't a bad thing at all since she expected me to be larger due to the GD, not smaller) and I've gained a total of 26lbs, which she is also very happy with. In the afternoon, the hubs, my Mom and I went to get a sonogram to figure out how far along baby is measuring and make sure everything looks good. Well, baby is 'breathing' in the fluid and testing ou her lungs, which is awesome and she is wiggling and rolling around in there, so the sonogram person was very happy with that. Also, she has a TON of hair, that was just flowing in the wind lol..she is clearly her Daddy's daughter, since I can out bald with just a hint of peach fuzz and didn't have hair for about a year! As for how she is measuring..yeah, the tech who was doing everything actually said 'WHOA!' in the middle of everything lol...um, her head and stomach are measuring at 40 weeks and the rest of her at 38 weeks. Holy smokes!! The lady mentioned she is in he 95 percentile..yikes! So of course this got my mid buzzing and worrying what the midwife will say about it all. I still REALLY want to avoid induction and at this point, I see no reason to change my mind. My placenta is healthy and apparently my fluid levels are just about perfect, so if little miss is bigger, well, so be it. The hubs and I talked about it last night and we're still going to stick with our birth plan of no induction and just go with the flow. These are machines after all and can be wrong or even off by around a full pound, so yeah. At this point though, I'll be starting my weekly midwife visits and we've added in a weekly visit to get a sonogram, as well. They did tell me her head is WAY down low, so it could be very possible that I'll go early. If that is the case, HOLY CRAP! We just have so much more to do and I am going to be doing all I can to get everything fully in order on my end to make sure if she does come early, we are as best prepared as possible. This weekend I plan to have all of her clothes washed and put away and our hospital bag packed. Send me some good vibes ladies...I am really hoping for a natural birth with NO damage to my lady parts lmao

 

[Bella_mezzo]

FPS-Natural birth with no damage to the lady parts Yes, that is my goal too!!!!!!

I think it's smart to wait for the stroller purchase. We were going to wait since between babywearing, breastfeeding, and winter/snow/sleet I don't think that we'll be needing the stroller until I go back to work in May, but we just got a very gently used like-new red Uppbaby Cruz (the stroller we had placed on our registry but thought was insanely expensive) off of craigslist for 60% discount from retail so we bought it.

I am starting to feel very "nesty"

In addition to all the midwife/nanny stuff, DH and I are trying to deep clean our apartment and get our files, etc. organized before the end of the year.

I also ordered these baskets from Target to put on top of my dresser to store clothes, cloth diapers, and diaper changing/baby supplies: http://www.target.com/p/threshold-set-of-3-paper-rope-media-basket-dark/-/A-14116590#prodSlot=medium_1_8&term=basket

 

[dragonfly411]

Well I guess I should introduce myself into this thread. I plan to read over it to gain some knowledge. I'm still pretty early on, about 5 weeks? Ish lol. Due Aug 2-3rd, first appt. will hopefully be at the beginning of the year. We've had to re-sort insurance out, so had some delays in getting things scheduled. Not a lot of interest from me for now, but wanted to say hi!!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Bella, LOVE that you scored such a great deal on the stroller! I feel like if we came across something like that, then we would absolutely scoop one up, but if not, we'll just hold off. I don't need more stuff cluttering up the house, since it seems like baby things are completely taking over the entire first floor anyway lol Oh and I have those baskets and they are great! We use them in our living room, which is nice, but they work pretty much anywhere to get the clutter and mess more organized. I am on load #3 (yep THREE) of JUST her clothes purchased from the baby shower. I am SO GLAD we returned a ton of stuff because this is a little bit insane already. But really, don't you just love feeling nesty?!

Welcome, Dragonfly!! Yay for being pregnant!! Is this your first? I am pregnant with our first and we have 5 weeks until our due date...ahhh!!

 

[dragonfly411]

FancyPants - It is our first yes. May I just say out of a moment stemming purely from frustration, that if this is what pregnancy is going to be like it might be our only?? Does ANYONE have advice a) for huge quantities of gas that are practically immovable and b) for slow to come bowel movements which I honestly think are contributing to the lack of gas movement? I am MISERABLE right now and this is becoming a nightly issue. I've tried tums, I've tried ginger ale, ginger tea and ginger tablets. I've tried sprite. I am at a loss since so many things are non-takeable during pregnancy.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Welcome dragonfly!

I found in my first tri that taking zofran (for nausea) plus gaviscon (for nausea and heartburn) was a disaster in terms of constipation/gas. I am not sure that labor will be more painful than what I experienced then!!!!

What worked for me was, if you can, try to stop taking Tums, etc. be sure that you are drinking lots of water, taking walks, doing yoga (twisting positions help a lot with gas), and eating fruit/prunes, etc. as natural stool softeners.

My pregnancy has definitely not been the most fun experience of my life (understatement of the year). I am grateful to have experienced pregnancy and can't wait to meet my baby, but am really not sure if I can go through this again!

 

[AllieLuv83]

Hello ladies. I just wanted to pop back in and say that I had my daughter on November 22nd with a scheduled induction at 39 weeks due to gestational hypertension (my BP was very out of control from 35 weeks on) I teach so every day it would spike and be as high as 160/94. I had a very short labor and another very positive induction experience. Here is Caroline Grace! Born at 7lbs 15oz and 20 inches long.

 

[PetitiePoire]

NEL- Thank you for the welcome! I'm worried right along with you regarding making sure #1s life isn't too interrupted by the new baby. She seems to really like the baby being in my belly though. She says "baby" and wants to kiss it throughout the day. I imagine it will be different when he/she is here though! Did you have heartburn with your K? I don't think I've ever had heartburn, but it sounds terrible. I'm glad you passed your glucose test! It's one thing I'm terrified about failing. I don't think I can handle the 2 hour one.

Dragonfly- Welcome and congratulations! I hope you're able to find a way to relieve the gas. Ask the pharmacists for medicine options to help.

FPS- I hope you're able to have the childbirth you plan. I think you and your DH are good in sticking to your plan even though the baby could be big. They never told me her estimated size, but she was always in the 90+% an ended up being over 9lbs. I'm very petite so it was a surprise to me. I think I also had borderline GD even though my dr said the levels were fine.

BElla- good luck organizing and interviewing nannies and midwives! You sound like one busy momma. I hope you're able to get some rest too!

Allie- she's gorgeous!!! Congratulations!

 

[AllieLuv83]

Petite, my son was so excited when the baby was in the belly, all he could talk about was when his sister would pop out. Once earthside, he doesn't really want anything to do with her. Not in a mean way but he says he is scared etc. doesn't want to touch her or hold her. She is 2 weeks old so I am wondering how long the transition will take. I am a little sad that he isn't more into her. I hope that this is not the case for you!

I failed my 1 hour GD test and had to do the 3 hour the hardest part was the fast since you know how it is to be pregnant and deprived of food!