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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

Date: 11/17/2009 11:28:35 AM
Author: meresal
November, Olivia is precious!


Jcrow- Waht about Ikea. Their chairs seem to be lower to the ground. Not a ''typical'' rocker, but a good comfortable chair.


Update: Stabbing pains in my hips for the last two days. Things are moving. I went thru lots of old pictures last night from college and realized how in shape and tiny I was just 3 years ago, and my skin was perfect! Don''t get me wrong, it''s not like I''ve blown up, but I used to be all muscle and now it''s loose, everywhere. DH fianlly took the computer away...


I just have this fear that I will never look good again after having a baby. All you hear is, ''Nothing will ever be the same'', ''your abs will never be flat again'', ''Everything is stretching'', etc


Did anyone go thru this stage?
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yeh, i will check out ikea. i was just looking on their site thanks to amber''s post.

i totally know what you mean. i was just looking at our wedding pics [our third anni is tomorrow!] and i was like sheesh. my skin is the worst it''s ever been right now.
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and that''s not even going into how i feel about my body changing. it''s hard.
 
Date: 11/17/2009 11:24:38 AM
Author: jcrow
thanks amber, that''s not too bad of a chair. the glider + ottoman we found is $170. if it''s still there.
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the big problem i have [and i''m sure you can relate] is that most of the chairs are for tall people! i can''t touch the ground. or my back doesn''t touch the back! so annoying. all the ones in baby stores are too big for me!
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Jcrow, the one we ended up getting is from Walmart, shockingly. It''s a Dutailier (or something like that) and my feet touch the ground JUST enough to be able to rock myself, not so they drag, but not so I have to scoot to the end of the chair! It''s perfect.

Meresal, lucky for me I was gross and out of shape before pregnancy (haha) and since I''ve actually only gained about 14 pounds so far, I''m pretty sure I look better now than I did before. This is a massive relief as I was SO sure I was going to be a cow. Still, I think if you''re in good enough shape pre-baby, and you''re relatively active, you can get yourself back in no time. I have no doubts about you being able to snap back to pre-preg. Sure, the hips may spread, but in the long run, you''ll be fine. FWIW, my hips didn''t spread (does this mean I''ve got those good birthing hips? Huh)

RockPaper: I''m starting to think I won''t call them until after. I was going to try to play it as a "Well, it just happened and we didn''t have time to call!" until I realized we have to drop the dog off at my dad''s house beforehand because we have keys to the apartment gate and he can''t get in without one. And I care about the dog. That just ruins the whole plan.

Quick question: Do I bring a purse to the hospital? I know they said no expensive jewelry or belongings, but what about the diamond studs I have worn non-stop for two years? Do they count?
 
amber - personally wouldn''t bring any jewelry... but that''s me. thanks for the info on the rocker you got. i''ll have to check that one out.
 
Date: 11/17/2009 11:40:05 AM
Author: AmberWaves
Quick question: Do I bring a purse to the hospital? I know they said no expensive jewelry or belongings, but what about the diamond studs I have worn non-stop for two years? Do they count?
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Amber, I wouldn''t bring your purse. No need for it. As for jewelry, I didn''t wear my rings (they were too tight anyways) but I did wear my diamond pendant and studs. I was prepared to take them off but when I asked the nurse if it''s okay to leave them on, she said it''s fine.
 
Thanks for the replies! My rings haven''t fit for months now, and I only wear the studs, I can always hand them off to the hubby if I need to. I''ll pack my inhaler and insurance information into my hospital bag. Thanks!
 
I have no intention of telling ANYONE I am in labor unless they happen to be present when it happens. But I already told them I don''t want anyone but my husband in the room until I am ready. If that means they don''t get a call until the next morning after I have had some sleep, then so be it! Lol thankfully though, no one was offended by it, they understood. I just don''t want or need the added stress, especially if I have a hard labor and feel terrible.

Amber, I really like that chair! I may have to get one - I like that it''s short, because I have the same problem as jcrow. Darn the stores for only making them for tall people!
 
Amber- Wow! Only 14 lbs. That's awesome! I bet it feels great to know that you kept it so low. Congrats

Jcrow- It really just hit me last night. For some reason I think I had this dillusion that I would barely look pregnant most of the pregnancy, and then afterwards everything would be great. Now that I am having these pains in my hips, I realized that is proably not going to be the case. lol. Thanks for sharing. It helps knowing that there are others out there. It's tough.

I just did some google'ing online though, and contrary to ALL of the horror stories that people ohh so love to share with pregnant ladies, after the first pregnancy it isn't impossible to get your body back into shape. I'm guessing it's mainly a battle of personal will over exhaustion. Maybe I can ask for a personal trainer as a "push present".
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November~Beautiful picture!

re gliders: we have an old rocking chair hand-me down in T''s room. We "rock rock" in it still sometimes when she wakes and is still tired/crabby. I think you can def. live without but it is nice to have.

And for the fear of not getting pre-baby body back....it''s different for everyone. But, it can happen. I am one of the lucky ones who got my pre-preggo body back. Hips were not wider. I wore pre-preggo jeans by 6 weeks and was back to pre-preggo weight by 3 months. I have always been athletic and active and I worked out my entire pregnancy and started walking 3 weeks post partum and started working out again around 6 weeks. My abs took a while to bounce back but they came back. It can happen. And if it doesn''t, you won''t care because you''ll have a healthy baby to show for it!!
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Meresal, it''s really not that hard to get your body back after pregnancy, provided that you were in pretty good shape before. Are you going to look EXACTLY the same? Probably not. But even women who don''t have babies look saggier at 35 than they did at 25 - it''s just part of the aging process.

By the time that I was 7 months post-partum, I had lost all 35 pounds of my pregnancy weight. However, I was still having trouble fitting into my old jeans, because my waist & hips had grown an inch from bone-widening in the hip area and there was about an inch of extra skin around the waist that all women have after having a baby - once the skin is stretched, it almost never goes back 100%. But, over the next 2 months I lost an extra 5 pounds, and that helped my old clothes fit well again.

By the time I was 9 months post-partum, people were telling me how great I looked, and one guy was actually hitting on me at the pool, until I told him that I was married with a baby. When I told him that I had a baby only 9 months before, he couldn''t believe it. So, it goes to show that the weight can come off.

It wasn''t easy though - once I stopped BFing when DS was 3 months old, I started working out 30-45 mintues a day, 5-6 days a week, usually while DS was napping. I also limited my calorie intake to around 1500 calories a day (I''m 5''9", so that''s quite low for a woman my height). It definitely took a commitment, but I had been a chronic jogger before the baby, so it wasn''t so hard to get back into it afterwards. On days that I didn''t have energy for anything else, I would at least walk for 30 min. on the treadmill.
 
Amber - About the visitors and waiting while you''re in labour thing... I see nothing wrong with waiting until baby is out before calling your parents and ILs. I think you should do what makes you most comfortable... They might be unhappy at first, but they''ll get over it as soon as they see PJ...
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What does your DH think? My hospital only allows for two people with me in L&D and I chose my DH and mom. So obviously, my dad''s going to know I''m in labour as well, and even though I''d rather not have my ILs know, I can''t really stop DH from calling his parents. BUT, because of the flu outbreaks, the hospital has decided to not allow visitors under 18 in the hospital in general, and no visitors at all in the maternity ward. So, even if everyone and their aunts end up knowing, at least they won''t all show up at the door expecting to be let in as soon as baby is out. Where telling everyone that they''ll get to see him/her when we get home. Maybe you could tell a little white lie and tell people your hospital has a similar policy? My ILs are so bad with boundaries I wouldn''t hesitate to do that, but I don''t know if you''d be comfortable with that. Also, I will not bring my purse and will only wear my WB.

Meresal - Are people really telling you that? It hasn''t happened to me. I don''t get why people enjoy saying negative stuff like that to pregnant women. My mom looks fantastic after 2 pregnancies, including twins, so it is doable to get your body back.
 
re: hospital visits - i''ve already heard whiffs of my family saying oh we''ll have to be there for the birth! i sorta doubt they really mean it though. i can''t imagine them [6 of them] driving 6+ hours just for the birth. honestly i want them to wait longer. give me some time people! 6 weeks. that sounds right in my head. there''s talks of my cousin [who is sorta like a mom to me, she''s older] coming to stay with us for the birth. that might actually feel comforting. but all of my family? no thanks. they''d drive me slap silly!
 
One of the ladies in my office is having a baby in about a month, and so they made her a diaper cake, and it is seriously the best cake I have ever seen. I was telling TGal about it last week sometime, so I got a picture to show you guys. Isn''t it cute?

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Meresal, I can assure you that it''s not impossible to get your body back after any baby. You may even find that there are things you like about your post-baby body better!

I''m pregnant with #6. Before I got pregnant, I was a size 2 -- even allowing for vanity sizing, I am sure I was actually thinner than when I got pregnant the first time. I''m built like a classic ectomorph, so pregnancy actually did GOOD things for my body, like giving me hips so I no longer looked like a boy.
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I love breastfeeding my babies because beyond all of the benefits for them, it helps just melt the weight off me and I actually have boobs then!

Becoming a mom changed some things for me that I think had a big impact. I started eating better, mostly to set a good example for the kids. I was more diligent about exercising; I did reach the point where I got tired of going to the gym, but chasing a kid around is still good exercise.

The best advice I can give you is to remember that it takes 9 months to put the pregnancy weight on, so try to be patient and allow 9 months for it to come off. It usually doesn''t take this long, but I don''t think it does you any good to beat yourself up if you''re not back to your fighting weight in 2 months. The *worst* time IMHO is the few days following birth when you still look pregnant, but I get through those days by snuggling my newborn and consoling myself with the knowledge that this "look" will not last forever.

My complaints about my body have to do more with simple aging than pregnancy, but the good news there is that I think you reach a point at which you simply don''t care as much when you''re younger.
 
Body Changes: I was overweight until about 7 years ago (70 pounds more than I weighed when I got pregnant), so my body has already been through the ringer. I know what it takes for me to lose weight, and having been overweight before I can''t imagine pregnancy is going to be any harder on my body than that was. I''ve already faced the imperfections that come with weight gain and subsequent loss so I''m not too concerned. The hard part is having worked so hard for so long to lose and maintain and to gain weight on purpose is quite strange.

People at the Hospital: My parents will likely be at the hospital for the delivery, my mom in the room with us. I''m leaving J''s friends to him to handle, there''s only one person in his side I think will want to come visit us before we go home and she''s more than welcome (was friends with his mom and is as close to family as he has living). My friends and family are all far away (200+ miles) so I don''t think anyone else will be coming to the hospital or visiting immediately afterwards except perhaps my sister. I''m good with visitors whenever, my husband will probably feel differently he''s more private than I am.
 
Let your nurse know who you want in the room and who you don''t. They will run interference for you.
 
I''m back!

So no further progress from last week, I''m still almost 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. My doc stretched my cervix, which was super uncomfortable (that''s what she SAID she was doing, at least, is it the same as stripping the membranes?), and did a manual feel of my belly for the baby''s size. She''s afraid that my tiny pelvis won''t be able to birth this baby vaginally if we wait much longer- especially since she''s already causing me pain with just her regular movements. So, we have an induction date set. I''m going to be induced Monday at 10pm, which hopefully spells delivery Tuesday morning. Of course, since this is all planned, that means she''ll come earlier.
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Either way, it''s good to know it''s set!

Hoo boy am I uncomfortable.
 
Aw, Amber! I had really hoped you were moving along. At least your doctor has a date set for you - maybe that will get that little peanut moving!
 
Monkey, I''m thinking the same thing. I''m extra crampy and twingey since she gave me the 10 minute cervix beating. Although I hope she does wait, since it has worked out perfectly for the visiting grandparents- we''re all scheduled with THEM, too now!
 
to everyone considering the Ikea chair, that is the one we purchased, the Poang, in brown leather and it's in my nursery pics in the nursery thread. Snlee said that it wasn't super comfy for her to breast feed in but i am taller and i think it probably fits my body pretty well, my head is right on the rest, etc.

it's also not a TRUE rocker, but more like a bouncer if that makes sense. they do have a new rocker, i saw in their catalog, but i don't know what it's called but i think it's $129 and it only comes in beech and white, so very pale. we got the medium brown Poang with dark brown leather for $199.

amber...sorry to hear you aren't progressing girl but YEP you know that now you made the induction plan she'll come really soon. yay.

re: people in the room or visitors... on our birth plan there is a check box that says 'i want to limit visitors and interferences from the outside so please unplug my phone and put a sign on the door'... i was like YES PLEASE!!! can i bold this in RED? hahaa. one of my really good friends wants to come in and visit and be like in the room during the birth and i am like ...uhh sweetie i adore you but maybe you can wait til later? esp after some of the stories here from PS'ers about how you are just kind of left hanging out all over sometimes hahaha. i am like yeah don't need you to see that. i think i will just be into having greg and my mom in there and maybe my sister for at least a little while.

does anyone know on average how long you typically stay in the hospital if you have a vag birth? i have to find that out from kaiser, but also i think because we're having a boy and we want him circumsized you end up staying longer?

MP..that is the cutest and coolest diaper cake i have seen!! most of the time they are kind of sloptastic.

re: getting your body back.. i am kind of like kimi in that i lost about 20 lbs almost 4 years ago now and have been really vigilent about keeping most of it off (15). it's been hard for me to gain weight this pregnancy but it's normal so i am just going with the flow. i do plan to be good about getting it off, i can't wait to get back into my routine and be active again. most moms i know say give yourself 6-9 months even if you have a 'plan' in place...but yeah i know it's possible. it may not be the SAME exact body as before but at least it'll be fit.

we picked up our a3 last nite and greg is in lurve. i drove it home and he followed me and was gushing about all the cool features of it when i got home 'did you know your lights have a little eyebrow in the front' hahaa. i guess if i have to drive a 4 door it is pretty cool. all i have to say is bluetooth has come a long way since 2.5 years ago, it's sooo cool now. i am excited to have conf calls in my car. HA!

random but i woke up last nite at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep and had the thought 'wow in a few months our lives will totally change. i'll prob be getting up right now for a feeding! (assuming i get any sleep)'... then i started mulling over the craziness of it all. that's prob why i couldn't get back to sleep.
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Mara, our hospital tour guide said we get two nights in, and if we come in late at night, that night doesn''t count, which is good to me! For a c-sec or a complicated delivery we get 4 nights.
 
Mer - I don''t think there is a rule on whether you go back to ''normal'' or not afterwards.

I''m 5'' 10" and was always about 135lbs. I put on over 70lbs when I was pregnant. I lost the lot and was back in my normal clothes within 4-5 weeks. I''m now 6 months PP and have had to buy new jeans as my old ones are literally falling off me. The skin over my belly was all wrinkly and elephant like for a few months, but now I just have a faint linea nigra and my belly button is a LOT wider than it was before. The skin looks almost back to normal - I was very lucky and got no stretchmarks.

I haven''t done any exercise in over 7 years other than core abdominals and kegels - I can''t do any because of my back. I think breastfeeding has helped a fair bit, but otherwise I''m probably just lucky in my metabolism.

So, don''t panic too much. I was convinced I''d never be skinny again to the point that I gave a load of my clothes to charity... now I haven''t got many that fit!
 
Mara: I delivered at 7:27 a.m. on October 31, and I checked out on November 1st at around 2 p.m. We had Evan circumcized at around 11:30ish on November 1st and they held him for one hour after the surgery and then brought him to us. Then we just waited for the nurse to come and do the final check out with us (confirming that the bands on the baby and me matched, giving me my prescriptions, etc.)
 
Sunkist-Wesley is so adorable
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November-Olivia is so beautiful
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I hope both of you ladies are doing well!!
 
MonkeyPie, that's a cute cake!
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Amber, sorry about the cervical discomfort. It's good to know you'll have at least have Piper Jane by next week Tuesday, though! One way or the other!

About body changes - I'm not too concerned about not getting my shape back. I've stayed pretty active during this pregnancy (going to the gym etc), and I plan to afterwards as well) which should help the weight to drop faster postpartum. Thankfully, my body hasn't changed that much during the pregnancy...People say I'm mostly 'belly'. In fact, I can still wear quite a few of my pre-preg jeans/pants unzipped, but buttoned up, at 37 weeks! So I think I'll be okay.

You look pretty trim yourself, meresal! I would focus on keeping active both now and afterwards - and you should be fine!

Mara - about hospital stays - the standard where I'm from is 2 nights as well for a vaginal birth. 4/5 nights for a C-section.
 
In fact, I can still wear quite a few of my pre-preg jeans/pants unzipped, but buttoned up, at 37 weeks!

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mine stopped fitting at 8-9 weeks and i hadn''t even gained a lb.
 
Amber

I was really worried about the visitors in the hospital and for the most part I didn''t care while I was in labor that there were a bunch of people in the waiting room. I restricted visit to the room before I delivered to my mom, MIL, and my brothers. FIL was working and I flat out said no to everyone else.

The one thing I regret was that MIL called everyone to say Sophia had arrived and three of his aunts plus grandmother showed up. It wasn''t that big of a deal since they stood for maybe 10 minutes before leaving but I was so exhausted that even those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime. This was before I was even transferred out of the delivery room. My legs weren''t really functioning well because of the epi and the entire time they were there, I kept stressing over whether or not there was blood on me (which there was...I noticed it after they left).

However, having them there to visit that same evening (literally an hour or two after she was born) was soooooo much better than visiting the next day. I think the adrenaline from the whole event kept me alert enough to handle everyone but the real exhaustion didn''t come until the next day when my body settled. I requested no more visitors for the rest of the hospital stay.
 
mara-I was induced on a tuesday morning and released on thursday. I think 2 nights from when the baby is born is the standard for normal vag. deliveries. So, if you go in late at night or the baby is born in the middle of the night that night won''t count. the circumcision won''t cause you to have to stay longer.
 
I think we have the same Ikea Poang chair that Mara does. I find it comfy to sit in, but it really doesn''t serve quite the same purpose that a rocker or glider does as ours is so stiff that it''s hard to get it to bounce in a good rhythm to soothe a baby. We''ve been fine without a rocker/glider, but my in-laws have one that I''m now finding useful.

I didn''t call anyone when I went into labor, other than my midwife and my boss (so that he knew not to expect me at work). The only thing that I''ll change next time is that I''ll probably call my SIL to come over to babysit, but swear her to secrecy.
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Date: 11/17/2009 7:59:40 PM
Author: Mara
In fact, I can still wear quite a few of my pre-preg jeans/pants unzipped, but buttoned up, at 37 weeks!

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mine stopped fitting at 8-9 weeks and i hadn't even gained a lb.
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LOL me too - I got so puffy and bloated in the first trimester that half of my shirts didn't even fit properly, much less my pants.

I'm trying not to even think about getting the weight off after the baby comes, I know I will have a lot more on my mind than that, but I do often wonder if I will ever get rid of it.

ETA: I finally felt some kicks from the outside last night
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It was seriously awesome - she was turning flips in there!
 
Cute cake!! I''m guessing they didn''t find out the sex?

Thank you everyone for your replies. Yesterday was a tough day for me, I was just really down in general and not feeling very well. I know, bad bad bad! I appreciate you all sharing your stories. It helps to hear actual real life stories from you, and know that if I put in the time, then it is possible.
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I actually do get quite a few comments about how, "Nothing will look the same", especially from MIL, which doesn''t help. I also get it from the older women at my office. They think they are so funny and really they just annoy the crap out of me. One has never even had children.
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When I announced my pregnancy, we were in a meeting and the woman that doesn''t have children replied, "Well I have an update... I''m NOT have a baby." I mean, really?

I got one comment from a girl that is my age, but I don''t think she ate very well during the pregnancy. She had a very small frame, and still does, but she gained LOTS of weight in her hips and thighs, and it has not gone at all, but she also hasn''t tried to work out. She tried to tell me, "Just hope that you don''t have a girl, because you will gain it all in your thighs and it stays." Umm, ok.

Anyway, thanks again for all of your posts. I am feeling much better. DH and I went out last night for his dad''s birthday and had a good time, so I was feeling pretty good after that, and a full night''s sleep didn''t hurt either.

Amber- You''re STILL here?!?
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