Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[somethingshiny]

I think people don''t ask if you''re expecting because they''d be embarrassed to death if the response was "NO. My son is 6 months old!!" Or at least that''s my dad''s case..... My entire family was ashamed. lol.

I''ve done some yoga and calmed down more. Thanks for the advice and reassurances, ladies!!

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

DRK, I''m sorry that you now have to take up the worrying since Steph can relax. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you, too, get good news very quickly and find out there''s nothing to worry about anymore.

SS, I had plenty of times when the nurse wouldn''t find the hb early on with the doppler. It can be so scary! Even today -- and I''m at just under 38 weeks -- my mw couldn''t get the hb from the baby because he kept moving away, so she had to listen to the cord. If a big baby can move away from a doppler that easily, think how a teeny baby can do it!

JCrow, I''m sorry, but I cracked up that your family can''t believe you have a pump on your registry! Is it that they don''t like your "advertising" that you''ll be bfing, or that it''s too expensive?

I had SO tell his mom that the very best thing she could do for us is contribute to the Medela Freestyle that I want to buy. I can get it for just under $300, but that''s still quite a bit -- and it looks like I need to order it sooner rather than later because I have NO idea where I put the horns, diaphragms and collection bottles for my Purely Yours. Who misplaces only certain parts of a pump? Apparently me. Anyway, it would cost about $80 for me to replace/update all of the parts I need, so I figure it''s just easier to buy the new pump sooner. We have shot down MIL''s suggestions for things she wanted to buy for the baby (crib and carseat) and I didn''t want her to think we were trying to shut her out. Luckily, she''s VERY pro bf, so contributing to the pump is something I know she can get behind.


Anyway...

Today I had an appointment with my midwife. SO came along and we got the birthing tub, so I''m very happy about that.

My mw also went over what we need to do in the case of precipitous labor. I love my mw because she is really a no-nonsense person so she and I speak very frankly about everything. SO is more reserved, so I think he was a little embarrassed? My mw was explaining what SO needs to look for and the first part was if I tell him that I feel like I need to poop, he''s to keep me off of the toilet because that signals that it''s almost time to push. Then, if I tell him that I AM pooping, that signals that it''s pushing time.

I couldn''t keep a straight face because:

1. I would NEVER announce that either I need to poop or that I am pooping. With every single labor, I''ve been able to tell when I''m starting to feel the urge to push and when that urge hits me.

2. I kept thinking about the LOLCat where there are 3 frames and the cat says, "I''m poopin''" then "I''M POOPIN''" then "false alarm." I couldn''t quit giggling about it. I think I''m going to put that picture on SO''s computer desktop.

The baby is doing great, but he was being impossible and wouldn''t hold still for her to listen to his heart. And then she said that he currently has his back to my right side and really should have his back to my left side for a much easier labor. There''s still plenty of time for him to move, but I''m going to have to spend some time on my hands and knees to encourage him.

She also said that my uterus doesn''t feel done, so it looks like I''ve got a way to go. I do wish that I had asked her what it will feel like when it IS done, but we had already been there an hour and SO was anxious to finish the errand-running.

My next appointment was supposed to be Monday, but we cancelled that and then I''ll go for the appointment the following Monday. I love that she''s willing to allow me some flexibility and to use my judgment about when I need to be seen.

 

[jcrow]

rockpaperscissors67 - who knows, it could be either reason. they haven't said anything to me, just behind my back. my grandmother said that when my mom had me she had a c-section and they just whisked me away and fed me formula and so bf'ing wasn't even an option! so, who's to say i can even bf! oh the drama. i told my cousin [who told me about the pump drama] that things have so changed since then!

and i mean if they are embarrassed that i put that on the registry, then they don't have to be the ones to purchase it! i mean, come on.

 

[Mara]

lol at jcrow re: your breast pump causing gossip.

lol at rps with your pooping convo, too funny.

re: strangers... people don''t tend to make comments to me i notice...thank god. i am so tired of answering 1) when i am due 2) if its a girl or a boy and 3) do we have a name. hahhaa. but in the elevator at work EVERYONE wants to talk about it.

drk... this kid gets the hiccups 3-4x a day. is that normal? it makes me laugh, they are HUGE (move my belly) and rythmic.

i plan to get the freestyle too, but yah it''s expensive. i will rent from the hospital for the first month just to make sure the boobies work before i invest.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/6/2010 7:57:06 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 1/6/2010 6:11:23 PM

Author: steph72276

Woohoo, I have to share my exciting news of the day....with 21 days left, a stranger finally asked me if I''m expecting! I guess baby E is doing a good job of fattening up these last few days! Haha, I know I shouldn''t be that excited about a stranger''s comments, but with Andrew people started asking me at like 5 months. Hope everyone''s having a great day!

Yay Steph. I know how you feel. When I was carrying Rob, I was tiny. So loved it when someone said hey you are preggo. I gained the same amount with both, 28 pounds, but with Ash I was huge!!! With Rob I looked like I was carrying a little basketball. Funny how this all works.


You are almost there, good for you!!!!

Thanks, Kaleigh! It is just nice for someone to notice...I don''t have any family here where we moved, so they haven''t seen me in a while and the last time they did, they all said I don''t look pregnant at all. It is so funny the difference in how you can carry...with Andrew, I was ginormous from about 5 months on and strangers commented all the time! Yep, I am almost at the finish line...20 more days if he stays in there that long!

 

[steph72276]

Ok, so quick question for those of you that have nursed or plan on nursing....I know they say you are supposed to up your calories when bf. Are you going to take the time to keep track of the calories, or just eat when you feel hungry? I only made it 2 weeks with Andrew, but I know I didn''t write anything down, so how are you going to keep track? And what happens if you don''t eat the recommended amount, does it decrease your supply? Thanks

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 1/7/2010 9:37:06 AM
Author: steph72276
Ok, so quick question for those of you that have nursed or plan on nursing....I know they say you are supposed to up your calories when bf. Are you going to take the time to keep track of the calories, or just eat when you feel hungry? I only made it 2 weeks with Andrew, but I know I didn''t write anything down, so how are you going to keep track? And what happens if you don''t eat the recommended amount, does it decrease your supply? Thanks

Steph, I was never that hungry through either pregnancy, but when I was BFing, I was eating everything in sight - it was a totally uncontrollable hunger. So, I would say that if you have an appetite, just eat what you want and you will meet the calorie requirements to produce the milk.

DrK, I just wanted to tell you that my thoughts are with you but I''m sure that your little baby is totally fine. Please let us know when you have news ...

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/7/2010 10:11:49 AM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 1/7/2010 9:37:06 AM

Author: steph72276

Ok, so quick question for those of you that have nursed or plan on nursing....I know they say you are supposed to up your calories when bf. Are you going to take the time to keep track of the calories, or just eat when you feel hungry? I only made it 2 weeks with Andrew, but I know I didn't write anything down, so how are you going to keep track? And what happens if you don't eat the recommended amount, does it decrease your supply? Thanks

Steph, I was never that hungry through either pregnancy, but when I was BFing, I was eating everything in sight - it was a totally uncontrollable hunger. So, I would say that if you have an appetite, just eat what you want and you will meet the calorie requirements to produce the milk.


DrK, I just wanted to tell you that my thoughts are with you but I'm sure that your little baby is totally fine. Please let us know when you have news ...

Thanks, Vesper...that is what I thought. I think my body will tell me when it's time to eat instead of keeping track of every calorie to try to reach the goal number.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Date: 1/7/2010 9:37:06 AM
Author: steph72276
Ok, so quick question for those of you that have nursed or plan on nursing....I know they say you are supposed to up your calories when bf. Are you going to take the time to keep track of the calories, or just eat when you feel hungry? I only made it 2 weeks with Andrew, but I know I didn''t write anything down, so how are you going to keep track? And what happens if you don''t eat the recommended amount, does it decrease your supply? Thanks

Steph, you really only need about an extra 500 calories a day for breastfeeding, which is like adding a PB&J sandwich and a glass of milk. I really would not bother keeping track of calories -- just go based on how you are feeling. If you''re tired, feeling run down, etc., you might want to add more lean protein to your diet. I think you''ll find that it''s REALLY hard to not get enough calories because I know that I and a lot of other women are actually ravenous while breastfeeding.

Here''s something kind of cool to remember, too...

After your baby is born, Mother Nature starts caring about him more than you in order to perpetuate the species. You would have to be *seriously* malnourished before your ability to breastfeed is hindered.

FYI, I used to do peer counseling for breastfeeding moms at WIC and have nursed all of my kids for varying amounts of time. If you run into any problems, I''m more than happy to help as much as I can virtually!

 

[qtiekiki]

Yay, I am full term today. Hopefully just 3 more weeks to go.

Steph – I wouldn’t bother keeping track of your calories intake. I never did b/c I barely have time to eat and sleep. Hehe. Your body will let you know if you need calories. Ditto RPS on adding lean proteins to your diet and drink plenty of water since breastmilk is just water, protein and fat. Oatmeal is supposed to help with milk production, so you may want to add that in your diet if it isn’t already.

 

[steph72276]

Yay! Thanks for the additional info RPS and QT! I feel better that it only requires about 500 more cals per day, for some reason I thought it was way more! That shouldn''t be hard at all

 

[Loves Vintage]

Hi Ladies,

I''d like to pop in with a few questions. I''m almost 5 weeks. I know it''s very early, but my mind is all over the place with things I need to take care of.

1. At how many months did you tell your employer? I think I''d like to take 6 months off and then come back part time. This is unchartered territory where I work; however, my boss is very understanding, so I think it is possible. I expect to have some plan to tell him how I think it could work, and then be open to his suggestions and/or concerns. So, I''m just curious how soon people usually tell their employers? Also, is anyone planning on going back part time?

2. Even though I am only 5 weeks, my pants are all a bit snug!! I have not gained any weight, so I assume this is bloating. Has anyone purchased a belly belt like this, and how did you like it? I don''t think I need one of those yet, but nice to know it''s an option. When do you start buying maternity clothes?

3. Hypnobirthing - A few weeks or months back someone mentioned hypnobirthing on here, but I don''t recall who? Maybe DrK? I''m curious if you''ve started taking the classes and how you like them.

4. Books - Aside from the standard What to Expect When You''re Expecting, does anyone have a pregnancy book or books that they love?

That''s all for now! TIA!

 

[Mara]

steph, i don't plan to track any cals... but then again i just plan to eat when hungry too the way i do now. since i am first time mom i am more concerned with being too outta my head and not remembering to eat than anything else hahaha. greg has been tasked our official take out picker upper.

yay for FT QT...!! i thought it was 37 weeks but then our class told us it was AFTER the 37th week (so really 3 so i wasn't sure. i like thinking it's literally at 37 weeks since it's sooner. HAHA.

tonite we have our newborn care class. it's 2 hours and should go through the basics. this is our last class, yay...while they are fun, they are always in the evening when i just want to be reclining on the couch. we declined doing the big 8 hour paid class for any of this stuff because most of my friends told me they never remembered half the stuff, so we did 3 smaller classes (bf, pregnancy/labor, newborn) that are free through the hospital. after this one i guess we'll officially be 'ready' lol.

rps i am so glad we have your knowledge around here to help us clueless moms!

loves vintage, i bloated really early and had to do the rubber band trick on my jeans and pants starting at like week 8. i didnt use the belly band but a lot of gals like it. whatever works for you! re: telling employer, i waited til just about 12 weeks when we knew that things were 'ok'. my boss knew earlier since i was so bloated and i am usually thinner, and she has a hawk eye... but she didnt say anything to me til i told her. in terms of working things out... we discussed it at the time that i would come back, but that was about it til we got closer. i think every employer is diff but mine is a big corp too so they have a process with how they tend to handle things i guess.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Steph, I hope you''re like me and others and find you can pig out and it doesn''t have an effect on your weight.

Mara, I forgot to add this -- as I''m sure you know, the Freestyle is listed at BRU and Target for like $379, so yeah, it''s really pricey. However, I did some checking around and found a website (google Add a Little Love) that doesn''t list the price, but if you order from them, I think it''s $285 + $5 shipping. I''ve emailed to make sure and will let you know if it''s different. If you''re the gambling type, you can also find it on eBay for less if you can win an auction. Even thought this seems like a load of money to drop on a pump, I console myself with the fact that if I don''t have to buy formula for a full year, I save at least $1000.


So...I found out this morning that tomorrow, my boss wants to do my annual review. I hate that we''re doing it now because things have been pretty slack for me lately so I feel like I''m not as efficient as I used to be. Plus, I''m working on a project that is more or less busy work and my boss said he''s been trying to keep the "gotta have it now" things from me. I told him not to do that because I''m going to lose my mind if I do nothing but sit around, doing busy work until labor starts. I mean, my official due date isn''t until either Jan. 20 or 28th and every one of my kids has been overdue, so I could still be pregnant for another FIVE weeks. Five weeks of this?? NO WAY.

The good news is that our QA guy just discovered that we need to do another regression testing cycle and so I''m going to work on that. I never thought I''d be so glad to do testing, but I''m thrilled beyond belief.

 

[jcrow]

Loves Vintage - i bought the equivalent to the bellaband destination maternity. i think it''s the pea in the pod brand. i like it a lot and still use it now at 5 3/4 months. i didn''t buy any other maternity clothes until just recently since they just flat out don''t fit me. and even then, i only got a bra, a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts. i''ve found that regular stores fit me better. hello j.crew :]

 

[KimberlyH]

Hooray for fully term, QT.

LovesVintage: 1. I didn''t have to tell my employer (I''m a substitute, we come and go and I''m not on any sort of schedule, I work when offered a job I want to take) and I was 25 weeks or so when I was hired at my other job, so I told them when interviewing; it''s a consulting position and it''s getting to be time to discuss who will take my cases and for how long. 2. I hated the belly band thing, it was uncomfortable and I was always adjusting it. I wore maternity pants early on, like at 12 weeks, my bloating never went away, I went straight from that to bigger belly. 3. I''m pretty sure it was drk who is doing hypnobirthing. 4. My doctor insisted my husband take the books away; I was pretty high strung on round two of pregnancy and she felt the books were only adding to that. I hate WTEWYE, too much like a laundry list of what could be wrong with your pregnancy and too many symptoms/signs that are also perfectly norma that can be misinterpreted and cause undo concern. I have Your Pregnancy Week by Week, in my husband''s custody. When I need/want ispecific nformation I ask him and he looks things up or I talk to my OB. I use baby center for weekly updates on what is going on with the kid.

Mara, hooray for one last class. We''re doing the 4 week class for childbirthing and it''s a bit much for me. Repetative, which makes me batty. The bf class is only one night and we''re skipping the newborn class. I started putting appts. in my cell phone yesterday as I''m having a hard time keeping track of all these different appts. and classes.

My last day home to rest and get better as there were no jobs again today. Back to work tomorrow, hooray!

 

[Mara]

oh ditto JCrow on some of the mat clothes out there. I actually started wearing mat pants way earlier than tops. Thankfully I got by most of the summer with dresses. But I am still wearing some 'regular' non mat sweaters from before PG and also from Target...I love their basic Mossimo sweaters and I just buy a XL instead of a Medium now. The mat sweaters took FOREVER for my belly to grow into--before then it just was all sack-like around my belly which didn't work. I love the gap maternity stretch pants, so comfy, and some of the Old Navy pants. Anything with a low rise that doesn't cut into your pelvis worked for me but it also depends on how you 'carry'.

RPS...thanks for the tip on the Freestyle. I have seen those sites that can't show the pricing but are auth'd distributors for Medela. I was hoping to get it for $300 instead of $400 but still man! And on eBay I see they go for more like $220-250 if you can be diligent. But I was thinking well should I get a NIB on eBay and try to save like $50 or get it from a place where I can technically return it. I figure we'll see. Damn that it's so exp...but a few coworking moms have told me that if I plan to BF and it works out for me since I am going back to work in 4 months that the freestyle made it a lot easier for them to pump quickly and efficiently at work. A lot of them like the PIS too but since it's not that much cheaper I would rather go Free.

and it's kind of odd that your boss wants to do your review now...right before you go on leave? i actually have been waiting for a promotion to come through for a few months and it's caught with all these other changes while they review the entire org...so i am like DARN... chances are it won't happen before i go (2 weeks) and i doubt it will happen while i am gone (who gets promoted while they are on mat leave?!?!)...so i am expecting it not to happen, oh well. i guess when i come back i can be bullish about it.

ETA I forgot to add for Loves Vintage on the books I read. I read NOTHING about my pregnancy and it was great. I heard too many bad things about the books out there, including 'what to expect'... just that the books seem to be too thorough and end up freaking people out on all the stuff that could happen but prob won't. I am reading 'what to expect the first year' since a few moms recommended it, but I am also taking what it says loosely.

I did sign up for BabyCenter weekly email updates which were great and just enough info for me.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Aw, Mara, I''m so glad if I can help someone! I love first time moms because it takes me back to the excitement/nervousness/amazement of the first time I was pregnant.

I got the info from that website and the Freestyle is $287 + $5 ground shipping.

My review being scheduled isn''t really odd because we do ours every year in January. I know my boss wants to get as much stuff out of the way as possible because his wife is due at the same time as me, so he and I will both be juggling newborns with work.

I''m not actually planning to take maternity leave -- depending on when the baby is born, I''m going to take a few days off to recover, but since I can work at home and SO also works at home, we can handle work and a baby. I know myself too well -- if I''m forced to sit and do nothing except stare at a newborn for 6 weeks, I will be TOTALLY bored. Plus, I figured how much a 6 week maternity leave would cost us and it was over $3000, so I''d rather take a few days of vacation and have that money.

The funny thing with my boss is that I just asked him if his wife was planning to buy a pump so that if she is, I could give them the info from that website. Kind of odd, but I''d rather help than keep it to myself.

Loves Vintage, I had WTEWYE during my first pregnancy and ended up hating that book because so much of it is doom and gloom! I lean toward the crunchier side (homebirth, no meds, etc.) so my book recommendations reflect that!

The Thinking Woman''s Guide to a Better Birth, Henci Goer -- I love this because it tackles many of the things that we''re taught to believe about childbirth with mainstream medicine.

Ina May''s Guide to Childbirth, Ina May Gaskin -- Contains lots of natural childbirth stories that are really inspiring, even if the pictures look like they''re straight out of the 70s.

The Pregnancy Book, Dr. Sears -- I LOVE him because IMHO he presents a balanced view -- not too crunchy, not too medicalized.

QT, congrats on being full term! Isn''t it a great feeling? I think it''s also a little frustrating because now you''re at the point when you know that labor could happen anytime...but you just don''t know when. I''d like to make myself accept that it will be early February so I can be pleasantly surprised if it''s anytime sooner, but I can''t help but hope that it''s a lot sooner.

 

[Jas12]

Personally, i would recommend reading a book about childbirth before delivery. Knowledge is power. I know when i was going thru my 8+ hours of piggy-back contractions i could not have done it med-free if i didn''t understand what my body was doing. It helped me accept the pain. All the diagrams of uterus muscles and descriptions about the "neck of a sweater opening" were key for my visualization and made it all less scary. I knew that when it got unbearable i was in transition and i would remember quotes i read from some real life stories and use them as inspiration. Labor still hurt like hell, but i wasn''t panicky about it, if that makes sense ??

I second RPS''s recommendation for Ina May''s Guide to Childbirth. It is great! I also liked the Bradley Method books for strategies on how to deal with labor pain.

 

[lovelylulu]

jcrow - do you find that your regular tops are getting too short? I''m striking out a bit with maternity clothing. there aren''t really too many stores that convenient to me...I have a couple of pairs of work pants from the gap (which I recommend) but for tops, I''m finding that my old ones will soon start revealing a little too much belly for my liking...

 

[MonkeyPie]

I can wear some of my pre-pg shirts, but my tank tops I layer underneath everything are WAY too short now - they sit about mid-belly all day long lol. It''s annoying!

Two of my girlfriends found out they are having girls and are all but bursting with it. (One is having twins, too.) And after my initial excitement for them was gone, I just feel depressed. Suddenly, the world is caving in and "everything is unfair." It''s going to be one of THOSE days, I guess, though I felt fine this morning. I guess I''m not as ok with this boy as I thought I was, and I have been so happy shopping for boy things and enjoying knowing he''s a boy. I hate that this can happen and ruin things for me. I am definitely talking to my midwife about the depression come the 15th at my appointment.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 1/7/2010 3:34:58 PM
Author: lovelylulu
jcrow - do you find that your regular tops are getting too short? I''m striking out a bit with maternity clothing. there aren''t really too many stores that convenient to me...I have a couple of pairs of work pants from the gap (which I recommend) but for tops, I''m finding that my old ones will soon start revealing a little too much belly for my liking...

i can wear only a few pre-pregnancy shirts. however, i''m petite [short torso] so, some regular stores like j.crew have clothes that were always too long for me. i now can wear them even thought they aren''t maternity.

 

[somethingshiny]

MP~ I''m sorry you''re having a rough day. I do think you should talk to your doc. Ya know, boys aren''t all that bad. Today, my son asked if he could marry me.

 

[cellososweet]

MP- ((hug)) I commend you for being so honest. I hope you have a better day! I''ve suffered from really deep depression during the pregnancy. A lot of it was situational, but I''m sure that the hormones exacerbated it. Please talk to your mw/doc. It''s a miserable feeling to be depressed when everyone keeps telling you that this is the best time of your life. big, big hug!

I''m still here and still pregnant. The doctors appointment went well yesterday. She said that she knows that I want to go natural and since he seems to have not gotten much bigger since last week and I''m managed NOT to pass out this past week either, that we''ll wait one more week for the induction talk. I can handle that!

My brother, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend''s daughter were visiting for three weeks. THREE weeks! Not sure if I wrote about that. As you know, we''re with my parents right now because I got really sick, lost my job and ability to bring in income, didn''t quality for benefits, yadayadaya. So, it was us two, my parents, them two, and their daughter. They also bought their cat. So there were 6 cats and two dogs to add to the mix.

I''m an admitted type-A and having them here was really difficult for me. I''m really, really pregnant (can''t really get more pregnant than this, thank God!) and my patience on an everyday basis is at about a negative 50. And even when I''m not pregnant, I''m a bit of a neat freak. I wouldn''t say that I''m a super duper housekeeper or anything, but I do like clean countertops, super clean bathrooms, and really get my knickers in a twist if things aren''t put in their right place. Ok, I guess I am a super duper housekeeper. Haha. Let''s just say that my brother and his family don''t share that same desire. Normally I''d be annoyed. But being that my nesting instinct went into overdrive when they were here (I almost cried when DH tried to put off putting sheets on the crib. Haha), I was going absolutely, insanely bonkers.

Their room was a mess, their bathroom was probably the dirtiest I''ve seen in a long time, they left their sweaters, books, etc. strewn about the house. I was so irritable. Mixed with some other issues, I was so happy to see them leave that I didn''t even get up to wish them adieu (Don''t throw stones at me! They left at 4 a.m. But, the old me would''ve gotten up).

I slept for the first time in three weeks last night and having this quiet time before the baby comes is such a wonderful thing. I wanted him to come early because I was so sick of being pregnant, but I think he did me a favor by staying put. I think I would''ve turned into some form of a monster had I added the above, mixed with their relationship problems, mixed with a newborn. Yes, I think I would''ve gone directly off the deep end.

So, now we wait. And wait. And wait. It''s our third anniversary on the 12th. We''ll be having a picnic this weekend probably or grabbing some ice cream. Something really easy and cheap. Just to spend some quality time togehter. I''m so uncomfortable eating out, watching a movie, going for a walk. So, our activities are limited. We''ll see.

Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[Lanie]

Monkeypie -- I usually just lurk this thread, but I wanted to cheer you on. I''m one of the few girls out there that wants a boy first. I think girls are genuinely sweet and cute, but for whatever reason, I want a little dude first! Maybe it''s the fact that I would rather have a big brother looking after a little girl rather than the other way around. Or maybe it''s because I''m so in love with my DH that I would love to raise a son just like him. Or maybe it''s that I''m not one of those girly girls and I''m definitely not one of those girls who would put giant ribbons in my daughter''s hair and dress her in pink 24/7 (just my personal taste...don''t jump on me if you are into that!) Once you have him, you will be so in love and you will have just as much fun with him. I don''t know...I can understand being disappointed, and I''m not discounting your feelings at all. I''m not in your situation. But I, personally, would be gushing and obnoxious and through the roof if I found out I was having a boy!!! I hope your midwife has some good advice for you!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/7/2010 3:59:02 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I can wear some of my pre-pg shirts, but my tank tops I layer underneath everything are WAY too short now - they sit about mid-belly all day long lol. It''s annoying!

Two of my girlfriends found out they are having girls and are all but bursting with it. (One is having twins, too.) And after my initial excitement for them was gone, I just feel depressed. Suddenly, the world is caving in and ''everything is unfair.'' It''s going to be one of THOSE days, I guess, though I felt fine this morning. I guess I''m not as ok with this boy as I thought I was, and I have been so happy shopping for boy things and enjoying knowing he''s a boy. I hate that this can happen and ruin things for me. I am definitely talking to my midwife about the depression come the 15th at my appointment.

MP,

I wanted to share this thread with you as I think it provides insight as to how some moms felt when they found out about the sex of the baby and the overall discussion:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/were-you-ever-upset-about-the-sex-of-the-baby.126200/

I don''t know how else to say this but once you have your little boy in your arms, you won''t imagine him being anything but what he is. The feelings/disappointment leading up to it is normal and happens to a lot more women than people like to admit to.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Thanks, ladies. Sometimes it's nice to be able to say stuff like that and not get ripped a new one for not "appreciating" my ability to be pregnant. Just because it's a gift, doesn't mean I have to enjoy it every possible second - or that I am even able to! I am aware that this is NOT me.

fiery, I recall that thread. I honestly don't think I am REALLY disappointed, I think I am having issues. Because I haven't had any sadness about him being a boy so far, even though I really wanted a girl to begin with.

I've noticed that when I'm tired it's worse, and I am really tired right now. Maybe once I get home and have a nap I will feel better.

 

[Mara]

lol jas my strategy for dealing with cb pain is GRIT YOUR TEETH AND BEAR IT. i am kind of joking kind of not i guess. i just figure lots of people do it so i''ll figure it out. my hub would like for me to not get an epi though, we might have to fight over that one. HAHA.

mp...hang in there. i know it is hard...and i am firmly in the same boat as you re: not always feeling like i have to be so grateful that i am this giver of life. i call myself a ''gestational host'' because i feel like much of pregnancy is really about the body taking care of the baby...it doesn''t have a whole lot to do with ME myself. pregnancy has been really hard for me mentally and i am aware i have had an ''easy pregnancy'' compared to most, i am lucky that my body seems to know what to do and seems to be doing it in the right manner. but mentally it is tough. personally i say don''t be hard on yourself and i don''t know that you are totally depressed but i would def talk to your dr. but to me, feelings are NORMAL, all types of them. your hormones are up and down at any given point, and honestly those ''feel good'' hormones everyone talks about...sometimes i am like WHERE ARE THEY? i don''t know that i feel super great half the time mentally but i also don''t worry too much if i don''t... why bother stressing out? i know i am super excited to meet our little guy and it''s been a fabulous bonding experience for my husband and myself and that this is a finite period of time and i can do it. i don''t think i ever want to go through this again though. and it irritates me when people say ''oh just wait til he''s here, you''ll want another one''...that may be the case but i don''t think i want to do THIS again. hahaha. though it is amazing what our bodies can do when given the chance, i do marvel at that.

oh speaking of irritating....these last few weeks, wow i am like a major bitch. not like i was all sweetness and light to begin with

but i am just crabby way way more of the time. less patience with people, less patience with myself and my body. at night sometimes i want to rip my belly off and toss it across the room (evenings are my worst, i''m so uncomfortable). in driving home i am honking at way more people. i almost sometimes don''t feel fit for public consumption. hahaa. sometimes even greg touching my belly irritates me. i have started tossing off his hand and crabbing at him about always manhandling me (whereas before i was like ''why dont you touch the belly more'' HAHAA poor guy!). but yanno whatever, i feel like it''s my hormones and that i just don''t feel well. actually it kind of makes me freaked out for labor because if i am this bitchy now, what the heck am i going to be like when i am in screaming pain and my husband is trying to help. i might take his head off. YIKES.

 

[somethingshiny]

MP~ While I was never disappointed that we were having a boy with the first one, I was VERY concerned over my ability to be a mom to a boy. I know girls. I know how they act, I know how they feel. I know what to expect of them. With a boy, I was afraid I would be completely lost. I was scared to death over the circumcision and actually cried because the doc performed the procedure when JT was out of my room early morning. Of course I had signed the consent upon his birth, but it was like I was letting him down and be in pain and didn''t even comfort him before the procedure. I was unnerved giving him a bath and made DH show me how hard I could wash his man parts. I thought I''d hurt him or something. Then I became concerned that I couldn''t make truck noises or play the boy games. Turns out, I''m not only a great truck, but also a dinosaur and a ninja. lol. I was scared that I''d make him a pansy boy because I''m such a girly girl. (although I was quite the tom-boy growing up). But, we get in the mud, worms, frogs, and every other thing together. He''s tough and rough and tumble. You can''t stop the boy from coming out! Everything has been not only wonderful, but easy.

I just thought I''d share how I felt in case it may help you to feel not so alone.

(((hugs)))

 

[Mara]

oh i should also say that i am ecstatic we are having a boy. i have always thought i''d be a better mom to a boy than girl, don''t know why...but i am not really girly or emotional and i am really practical and more tomboyish in a way. while we would have been totally happy with having a little girl, we are both so excited he is a boy. moms always tell me that their boys are so sweet and loving with them and while i know he''ll be a handful, i still can''t wait.