Could do without the drama today but....

[misysu2]

With 3 months left to the big day, one of the BMs (FSIL) bailed on us last night. FI wanted to ask her, but we sat her down in OCTOBER and said, "Are you sure you want to? Because you will have just had your baby. How are you going to feed it? How will you know what size of dress to get? Will you have time?" She said, "oh yes, yes, I want to...I understand....blahblahblah..."

FI's been getting on her case about ordering a fricking BM dress (with 3 months left!) and she cancelled on us "because she'll need to feed the baby."

Didn't we tell her that back in October? Now it's too late to do anything. I can't find another BM in time to get a dress, nor is there anyone I'd want to ask, so we'll be uneven.

A part of me is so far into planning that this seems minor and I know it's not worth fretting about. Another part of me is REALLY ticked because this was unnecessary stress for all of us. Geez, how irresponsible!

Thanks ladies. Just needed to vent.

 

[partyjewels]

I''m sorry to hear your frustrated, I''d be mighty irked about it too!! *sending cyber hugs your way!*

 

[sap483]

Aww, I''m sorry your FSIL bailed on you. If it makes you feel any better, I have been to many weddings recently with an uneven number of BM and GM. It''s pretty normal, at least it is here in the Northeast.

 

[Stephanie]

I completely understand and I am so sorry...

 

[cara]

Doh!

I''d chalk it up to flaky person syndrome. Try not to get too mad, its really for the best and not a big deal to have uneven #s. Yes you were right and she''s, uh, not exercising that part of the brain that does FORESIGHT. (Hmm, my belly is getting bigger. I wonder what this means for the future?...) But what can you do.

Not put her in a position to make a stupid decision affecting you again, as best you can. Buy a baby present and not a bridesmatron gift. Smile and coo when necessary.

 

[SuLi]

I''m sorry about your FSIL bailing out on you....especially since you were considerate enough to ask whether she would be comfortable being a bridesmaid.

Feel better!

 

[gtn]

i''m sorry your fsil flaked. Sending hugs your way

 

[beesknees]

Hi Misysu2,

I''m sorry that this happened to you. I definitely feel your frustration. As coincidences go, I was just on TheKnot.com and came across this:

"Q. One of my bridesmaids has dropped out of our wedding party. Is it okay to have two groomsmen walk with one maid?
A. Having two groomsmen escort a bridesmaid, one on each arm, is completely acceptable."

 

[LegacyGirl]

It wouldn''t be a wedding without the stress. Let''s hope that''s the worst of what you''ll have to deal with

 

[Sabine]

Awe, that stinks! I hope lopsided numbers aren''t a problem because we had a groomsman cancel on us too! Don''t you sometimes wish that before you made any of these weddind decisions you could just peek really quickly into the future to see if they are going to turn out the way you want them to?

 

[zoebartlett]

I really wouldn''t worry about it being uneven. I''m sure in the excitement of being asked and looking forward to celebrating your wedding, she really wanted and assumed everything would work out. I''m sorry she bailed though so close to the wedding -- that must be frustrating.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 2/14/2008 3:49:42 PM
Author: cara
Doh!

I''d chalk it up to flaky person syndrome. Try not to get too mad, its really for the best and not a big deal to have uneven #s. Yes you were right and she''s, uh, not exercising that part of the brain that does FORESIGHT. (Hmm, my belly is getting bigger. I wonder what this means for the future?...) But what can you do.

Not put her in a position to make a stupid decision affecting you again, as best you can. Buy a baby present and not a bridesmatron gift. Smile and coo when necessary.

Flaky person syndrome is my pet peeve. Blah!

Sorry misyu! That stinks, but as everyone else has said, it''s fine to have an uneven bridal party.

 

[upgrading mama]

sorry to hear of the added stress!
Not trying to stir the pot here, and I don''t know any of the family history, but..... I think your FSIL wanted to be a part of your wedding and stand up for her brother, no matter the personal sacrifice, but as the time is getting nearer, has probably realized it will be quite difficult.
I woldn''t say she ''flaked'' out, I would say she wanted to support you guys and has come to realize she will have to do that from sitting at her pew, to best attend to her newborn, too...

Uneven numbers aren''t the end of the world, my Brother in law had to leave before the reception (military stuff) so we were uneven too.

 

[misysu2]

Thanks so much for letting me vent and thanks so much for the sympathetic and empathetic comments. I''m so glad to know I''m not alone, and I feel better already, just getting it off my chest. You ladies rock!!

 

[bensbride]

Not to add fuel to the fire, but I take care of babies every day of my life and I''m pretty sure they breastfeed every 2-4 HOURS and she could probably pump and the kid could have a bottle if absolutely neccessary....duh.

She flaked and you have every right to be annoyed.

 

[Gypsy]

I''m sorry Misy! It sounds like you both expended a lot of effort to be considerate and she just didn''t return the favor. ((HUGS))

 

[partyjewels]

Oh, I just wanted to add in that of course it''s fine to have an uneven bridal party. We''re having one, I have four bridesmaids, FI has three groomsmen and two ushers... of course we could "upgraded" one of the ushers to groomsmen, but I see no need. I think FI did it the way he did it because he thought I was only going to have three bridesmaids, but I threw him for a loop I also have a FSIL that I had planned to ask originally, but then I waited too long so now it''s not likely I''m going to ask unless it comes up somehow before we order the BM dresses. So then we would''ve had 5 maids and 3 groomsmen It''ll all work out for you, I just know it!