Destination and/or Napa-Sonoma brides!

[newbie124]

OK, so I recently did a 180 and am now considering the possibility of having our wedding in Napa or Sonoma rather than Chicago.

Up until 2 days ago, I was pretty deadset on having our wedding at this one particular location in Chicago. I was even this close to putting the deposit down even though we haven''t had the official "talk" w/ our families yet (they just know that the engagement is coming very soon...). However, maybe it''s the recent dreary weather we''ve been having or all the recent tax increases by our incompetent city government

, but the idea of moving our wedding to Napa just sounds so much more exciting and interesting now!

I started getting the idea b/c we''re going to SF for my cousin''s wedding next month and I was booking a reservation at one of our favorite restaurants in Napa and started reading their private events page. My BF and I went there on a solo trip a couple years ago, and despite the rainy weather, loved it! The place is just so *us.* The scenery, the food and wine...

So I started calling around to get ideas of costs...Surprisingly enough they''re not *that* far of from Chicago, except my particular venue is on the lower-cost end b/c it''s a city park site. But then I figure the amount we''d save by having a smaller destination guest list would balance out the greater venue cost. Most of our guests will be traveling wherever we hold the wedding, so that isn''t going to be much of a factor. And in fact, half of my family is already in CA...

But I just don''t know. I really never considered a destination wedding b/c I didn''t want to bother w/ the headache of planning from afar and I always thought Chicago would be a perfectly fine place for me. But now I can''t decide! Also, I noticed that a lot of Napa/Sonoma locations have a lot of restrictions (time constraints, exclusive vendors, music/noise policies...) so we''d have to be pretty careful choosing the place and reading all the fine print.

The place in Chicago is also a beautiful site and has the outdoor aspect and character that I definitely want. It just doesn''t necessarily have that extra bit of romance/sentiment of CA''s wine country

I''ve never been to a destination wedding and don''t really know anyone who''s planned one, so thought I''d bring it up on this board and see if anyone has any tips/advice/encouragement/discouragement to add!

Although I''ve gotten venue quotes, I also don''t know what rates are like for other vendors (caterers, photographers, makeup, etc) in the area and how they compare to Chicago.

 

[violet02]

I meant to reply to this earlier... my friends got married in Napa last october. They had the wedding at her bosses beautiful brand new million dollar home so that made the venue part easy. You can check out their website http://www.bradley-wade.com and view the vendor info, hotel info etc. If you have specific questions you want me to ask her about what she paid for things let me know and I''ll ask her.

In re: to destination weddings. Mine is sort of like that. Most of us live by San Francisco so Carmel isn''t THAT far. All of our family lives on the east coast or north of here so they will all be flying in. It can be a pain. I suggest hiring a great wedding planner to work out all those details for you. My friends listed the one they used on their website. Their wedding was gorgeous.

 

[newbie124]

Hi!

Thanks for responding. I''m still quite undecided about what to do, but am slowly leaning towards a wedding in wine country. It all really depends on if I can find the right venue (we''re going to scout a few of our top choices during our trip next month).

From how far away was your friend planning her wedding? I''m starting to feel a little more confident about being able to do the planning from a distance (especially since I''m sure most of the vendors there are quite used to destination weddings), but I''m still a little nervous about it...mostly b/c I feel like I''m not anticipating something that will inevitably come up down the road and make things more difficult than doing local.

 

[violet02]

She planned hers from San Francisco, but on their website are all the vendors that they used. Let me throwin a bit of warning here though. Their wedding cost 80k even though they used her bosses house to have it in. She told me the main cost was catering (florists was high too). Apparently she said things are high there... they paid what she called ''Napa'' prices. Since the area is popular and expensive. I don''t know how if you can go cheaper or what but I personally didn''t think they had a super fancy wedding. It was nice though.

 

[goldenstar]

I''m planning a wedding in the Napa Valley also. I just wanted to say that you can totally plan a wedding for much less than 80k. Yes, its expensive but reasonable vendors exist. Also, how many people are you expecting to have? Obviously, that would affect the cost.

In my personal opinion, I would try to have the wedding at a hotel/resort if I were planning from far away. This way there''s less hassle with separate vendors, e.g. caterer, rentals, etc. Hotels and such have all that on site. It makes for less work on your part.

Napa Valley is unbelievably beautiful. I was just there yesterday in fact. I just wanted to tell you that its not necessarily super expensive.

 

[newbie124]

It''s kind of funny, but some things I''m seeing are either about on par w/ Chicago or even slightly less (like catering costs after you factor in service and fees). Even the venue fees are roughly the same as what they are for places in the city (although, if I have my wedding in Chicago, my site fee would only be $2000, b/c I''d be having it at a park district location).

Also, in CA we would probably expect to have 60-70 guests vs. 100-120 in Chicago, so that will help cut some costs.

However, I have been shocked at the sticker price on some of the "smaller" expenses such as makeup/hair. Photographers also seem to be slightly more expensive in CA, although I did manage to find a couple that are close in price/quality to some of the photographers here. (I am also considering the possibility of flying out a photographer from Chicago, which may work out to be cheaper or about the same).

Either location, I''m estimating our budget to be around $35-40k (hopefully).

I''ve seen some beautiful resort locations in the wine valley, but my only concern is having strangers walking around the property during our event. That''s why ideally, I''d prefer one of the winery locations where you can have the whole site to yourself (after closing anyway). Although, I am looking into Harvest Inn, but at least they''re on 8 acres, so it''s more spread out and less chance of people walking in on the party. (Although, it seems that even some of the resorts still require you to hire a planner or DOC, so may not be a huge advantage over the wineries).

Goldenstar, can I ask where you''ll be having your event?

 

[appletini]

My best friend got married at Auberge du Soleil in Napa and it was great. However wineries in Napa county can''t host weddings (except for V. Sattui), but wineries in Sonoma county can. Anyway I''m sure your big day will be wonderful no wonder where it is.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Hi Newbie. We are getting married in Napa Valley as well and moved from Chicago about a year ago to the SF area. In general, I have found the prices to be a little higher out here for everything and it adds up really quick. It can be done very nicely for 35-40k but you will have to watch costs. The biggest is that most wineries charge $10k just for the site fee. This does not include chairs, tables, etc., it's just the cost of using the winery that day, which is also why it makes it so much more expensive as well - cause you have to rent all that plus heaters and maybe even a tent if there isn't a good indoor space to use. The ones I know of that allow weddings and charge that are Chateau St. Jean and St. Francis, V. Sattui in Napa charges 6k I think, and Viansa charges 8k (Viansa makes you use their caterer too and the prices are higher). I loved BV gardens, a private estate, it starts at 12k though and I heard a rumor they are upping it to 20k.

Harvest Inn is nice. The outdoor space was smaller than I thought it would be though. It wouldn't fit much more than the 70 people or so you're thinking about. Also, not sure if all your guests will be coming from out of town but the Harvest Inn would be nice cause at least some of your guests could stay there. One thought though, many of our guests are coming from Chicago/Wisconsin and they are in shock at how much hotels are - we are getting married in May and the end of April starts high season so prices for cheaper not so nice motels start at about $200/night and the beds and breakfasts are $275 and up to $500.

Anyway, hope that helps.

 

[goldenstar]

We don''t have a firm venue yet, but there''s definitely a front runner. I shouldn''t post it until we have a contract.

Auberge du Soleil (suggested above) is great. I''m pretty sure it would fit in your budget with your guest list size. You get the whole downstairs area to yourself so its pretty private. I''ll try to think about other venues that offer privacy.

 

[Emeraldfan]

I love Auberge as well. We almost booked it but I was worried that the dinner guests of the hotel are right above you and overlook the outdoor space where you have cocktails/say vows so you might get some spectators (which is what turned me off). Food is really good there though and the site fee is also $10k but at least you get the chairs, tables, and regular white table linens.

 

[goldenstar]

Date: 2/19/2008 5:13:45 PM
Author: Emeraldfan
I love Auberge as well. We almost booked it but I was worried that the dinner guests of the hotel are right above you and overlook the outdoor space where you have cocktails/say vows so you might get some spectators (which is what turned me off). Food is really good there though and the site fee is also $10k but at least you get the chairs, tables, and regular white table linens.

Thats strange, way back when I asked for a quote the site fee was $4,500 for a Saturday evening...

 

[gtn]

Have you looked into Copia? The food there is amazing. If you have a lot of OOTers, and you want to keep the cost low, you might be able to book hotels in Vallejo or Fairfield at lower rates. If you do that, it might best for people to carpool, but at least then the cost of the rooms are less expensive.

My friend planned their wedding at Copia from NY and England, so it can be done from a distance.

My concern about any wine country wedding is that the cost do add up quickly. I would make appointments to do site checks and have a list of questions for before you next visit to CA and then move forward from there.

 

[Emeraldfan]

Goldenstar - we looked at it over a year ago and I thought it was 10k with no food/drink minimum as I remember looking at our spreadsheet of places and thinking it ended up being just as expensive as a winery.

To clear it up, I just called them and she said it is $4500 but they now have a $15k minimum you must spend on top of that for drinks and dinner (not including tax and tip at about another 28.75%). So still not cheap.

 

[newbie124]

Hmm...I haven't looked into Auberge b/c I just assumed outright it would be out of budget. I did contact Calistoga Ranch, which I believe is a sister property. Their site fee isn't too bad, except they require a min 2-night stay, and their guest rooms START at around $800/night! I'm trying to stay under $7k for site fee.

Hmm...Harvest Inn told me their site capacity is 150! F

I've actually found two or three decent places that I'll be visiting next month during our trip (our half-day, just-for-fun tasting tour has now turned into a 2-day venue scouting trip!), but none of them are outright perfect.

I've mostly been looking in areas outside of Napa County b/c of the oft mentioned wedding restrictions (boy, I didn't realize just how many regulations some venues have in this area!).

I've surveyed a few friends and most of them seem to like the idea of a wine valley wedding (85% of our guests would be traveling from OOT no matter which place we choose), although I think there is this general perception that going to CA will be pretty expensive (I think the perception is probably a bit greater than what the actual costs will be since many of our friends have never been out there, but I agree it is a valid concern...just not quite as bad as I think they're imagining).

I've been debating whether to have the CA wedding in April or May, but am now leaning more towards April b/c I don't want to deal w/ all the competition and also b/c, as Emerald mentioned, prices start to creep up on everything in May. Plus, I just like the idea of getting married in April vs May

I think if we had the exact same number of guests in both locations, CA would be way expensive. But w/ less guests, the cost seems to work out to be fairly close...probably will end up a little more, but not as crazy as I first assumed.

Also, just as comparison, that required 20% service plus 7.75% tax that pretty much every caterer in Napa tags on, is not as scary as it first might seem. In fact, it actually turns out to be less than what you might pay in Chicago. For instance, I got a quote from a Chicago caterer that is probably the closest in quality to what we'd be getting in Napa. For just food and bev, the initial estimate is $10,140, but the staffing fee is an additional $4600 (almost 50% of the food cost!!). In Napa, that 20% actually covers the staffing, and most places have told me that ppl generally do not add tip on top of that, whereas places here expect additional tip on top of the final charge.

I actually found most of the deal breakers to be due to alcohol policies. For instance, V Sattui's Saturday site fee is $7950, which is a little out of my range, but could have tried to fit it in (b/c their venue is so pretty!) except for the fact that they REQUIRE a $20 per person wine charge. Then on top of that, if you want to serve beer, you have to buy it through their hospitality center and they also charge you a $200 "permission" fee to serve it. I think there might have been a few other misc regulations that added up to be too much for me.

On the other hand, I've found some places that seem to be very lenient and will let you bring your own champagne and beer for no corkage (!!). And at least one caterer told me that for one site that does charge corkage, we could just deliver our alcohol to the caterer the day before and they would bring it in for us and they don't charge any corkage! I think that makes a huge difference in costs...

So, I guess we'll see! I think right now I'm mostly just focused on first being able to find a place that I could at least see us getting married at. For over a year now, I've been planning this whole vision around the Chicago location, that it's a little hard to switch gears all of a sudden and have to be maybe come up w/ a completely different vision. Although, more and more I feel like the experience of getting married in Napa and always having that might be well worth it...

But in the meantime, I'm so STRESSED OUT!! I feel like I'm planning two weddings right now

 

[Emeraldfan]

Newbie - CR is our venue. I love it but it is quite expensive. The additional costs keep accruing by the minute. The food there is also more small gourmet portions, so we are feeling like we have to have the 4 or even the 5 courses to fill our guests up (and not have to order Dominos

for everyone after the wedding). Also, alcohol prices are ridiculous here as well (about 15 a drink for hard alcohol). It is beautiful though and we can't wait for our wedding there.

We wanted an April wedding as well - l love April and always thought I would get married then. Problem is, its low season for a reason. All of my wedding vendors advised against us having a April wedding as they told me there is still a very good chance of rain

As I wanted to be outdoors for at least part of our event, I didn't want to take the chance so I moved it to May. We were also told it still gets really cold then at night so if we wanted the reception completely outdoors we would need at minimum some heaters (which are about $150/piece to rent) and maybe even a tent. Something to consider.

Also, Harvest Inn may well be able to fit that many in the space. It just seemed like their back lawn overlooking the vineyards was really only suited for about half that if you wanted to not be squeezed tight and have a dance floor. Maybe they have another area that fits the 150 they mentioned.

It sounds like you are making some headway. Let us know what you decide and good luck.

 

[newbie124]

Date: 2/19/2008 6:27:24 PM
Author: Emeraldfan
Newbie - CR is our venue. I love it but it is quite expensive. The additional costs keep accruing by the minute. The food there is also more small gourmet portions, so we are feeling like we have to have the 4 or even the 5 courses to fill our guests up (and not have to order Dominos

for everyone after the wedding). Also, alcohol prices are ridiculous here as well (about 15 a drink for hard alcohol). It is beautiful though and we can''t wait for our wedding there.

We wanted an April wedding as well - l love April and always thought I would get married then. Problem is, its low season for a reason. All of my wedding vendors advised against us having a April wedding as they told me there is still a very good chance of rain

As I wanted to be outdoors for at least part of our event, I didn''t want to take the chance so I moved it to May. We were also told it still gets really cold then at night so if we wanted the reception completely outdoors we would need at minimum some heaters (which are about $150/piece to rent) and maybe even a tent. Something to consider.

Also, Harvest Inn may well be able to fit that many in the space. It just seemed like their back lawn overlooking the vineyards was really only suited for about half that if you wanted to not be squeezed tight and have a dance floor. Maybe they have another area that fits the 150 they mentioned.

It sounds like you are making some headway. Let us know what you decide and good luck.

I hear you about the weather worries...I don''t know how many times I''ve checked and rechecked weatherunderground''s and weather.com''s history comparisons. And I know I generally have terrible luck when it comes to weather and vacations, but I''m just really stuck on an April wedding!

A few vendors have warned me as well about weather conditions, but some have also mentioned that the weather can be beautiful in April (especially towards later April). Also, comparatively speaking, the averages in Napa are still better than what they are in Chicago. I always silently scoff every time someone in CA warns me that it can still get "cold" in April...I just tell them, well, exactly what do you mean by "cold" b/c I live in Chicago, where today''s high was 7 degrees!

I''m glad you mentioned the portions at Calistoga as that probably helps to force me not to go back and reconsider them. Every time I see pictures of that place, I just sigh...but I think we''d really, really be pushing our budget to have it there.

Can I ask if you''re planning to hire a full wedding planner or DOC? I still don''t think I need a full planner, but am considering a DOC if one isn''t provided by whichever venue we choose...

 

[Emeraldfan]

I totally understand the urge to have a April wedding. I would have had our wedding the last weekend in April if not for the fact that its my bridesmaids and cousins birthday and I just couldn''t push it to April 19th with more of a chance of rain/colder weather. If you could do the end of april then that may work. Cold means getting down to the high 40''s, low 50''s. We have some elder guests so not having an enclosed area if it got cold was not an option for us, which is why CR is great - we get the lawn overlooking the lake for appetizers and then the wine cave for dinner and dancing and it''s very private, no spectators.

We are hiring a day of coordinator. I was going to hire a full service planner but costs were a little higher than I wanted to spend and since we have to get the food, etc. through CR there really wasn''t a need to have one.

What are some of the other places you are looking at? Gypsy was looking at Wente winery which is outside of Napa but still very nice.

 

[newbie124]

Date: 2/19/2008 7:02:11 PM
Author: Emeraldfan
I totally understand the urge to have a April wedding. I would have had our wedding the last weekend in April if not for the fact that its my bridesmaids and cousins birthday and I just couldn''t push it to April 19th with more of a chance of rain/colder weather. If you could do the end of april then that may work. Cold means getting down to the high 40''s, low 50''s. We have some elder guests so not having an enclosed area if it got cold was not an option for us, which is why CR is great - we get the lawn overlooking the lake for appetizers and then the wine cave for dinner and dancing and it''s very private, no spectators.

We are hiring a day of coordinator. I was going to hire a full service planner but costs were a little higher than I wanted to spend and since we have to get the food, etc. through CR there really wasn''t a need to have one.

What are some of the other places you are looking at? Gypsy was looking at Wente winery which is outside of Napa but still very nice.

The places I''m considering at this point are Hans Fahden, Sebastiani and Harvest Inn. I definitely want a place w/ an outdoor ceremony and sort of a more romantic, European (but more "French" than Italian, which I realize could be harder to find...), garden feel. I''ve looked at the sites of some places in Livermore, and while there are some really pretty (and fairly affordable) places out there, I feel like if we''re going to have our guests go all the way out to CA, then we should really try to stick to the Napa/Sonoma region. If I lived in CA, I would definitely consider those neighboring areas. But since we''d be making this a destination, I feel like we should go for the "real deal," if that makes sense...Not to mention, I''d probably drive myself into an insane asylum if I opened up my options to include areas outside of Napa/Sonoma since there are soooo many beautiful spots in northern CA!

Can I ask who you''ve hired as your DOC? I''ve seen this one woman whom everyone on the North Cal knot board seem to be using, but she has raised her rates to $900, which seems quite a lot for just day of (even though apparently well under some of the rates others charge in that area). I found another woman--Darlene Forbes--who only charges $700, which is a little easier to swallow, so I''ll probably consider her.

Can I also ask what other vendors you''re using/have considered, since I assume you''ve probably booked most of them by now?

I realize you''re in the Bay Area now, but it''s probably still somewhat of a pain to drive 1.5 hrs to meet vendors...Do you have any tips for booking the other vendors once we decide on a site? I know I''ll probably have to make at least one more trip out to CA to meet w/ ppl if we have it there, but I''m hoping the rest can be done via phone and/or email.

 

[Emeraldfan]

We looked at Hans Fahden as well. The gardens are exactly like a Monet painting, if that makes any sense.

I don't want to say my coordinator yet. We narrowed it down to two but still haven't decided.

For flowers we looked at Tapestry in SF, Nancy Liu Chin in SF, Tessoro in St. Helena, and the Fairmont Sonoma on-site florist. Once you book a place I would ask the coordinator there her suggestions. A florist who worked our location was important to me as I knew she'd know how big to decorate the space correctly. Also, look outside of the Napa Valley in surrounding areas like American Canyon and Vallejo where you may be able to find cheaper florists

For photographers, we looked at so many but ended up going with Lisa Leigh in Mill Valley. Again, not cheap but I think splurging on photos is well worth it. ww.theshortlistsf.com has great photgraphers - prices start at about $5k just for the photogs time ie no photos, prints, etc. Sylvia's photography in Napa was also a finalist. Again, as our reception is in a wine cave we wanted to make sure we had someone who had previous shot our location who knew how to manage the lighting in there.

Table linens and other rentals are through Classic Party Rental. Wildflower in SF also has some more specialty linens which are amazing. There really aren't that many other table linen places up there so you are kind of stuck on that front.

Invitations - we used Blackpearlpress in Boston to do our letterpress invitations.

Flax in SF - has great ribbons and other craft ideas.

Think that's about it.

 

[cara]

I got married at Hans Fahden in August and can recommend them as well as several of their go-to vendors. I loved it overall but the night did end a tad early. If you want that dancing all night feel, look elsewhere.

All Seasons catered and they were awesome. The food was great, the service seamless, and they undercharged us for it all. Really. Prices could legitimately be ~$85 per person (for in the 80-120 people range, which is really the cheapest we found in wine country caterers) but ours were just over $90 pp with a few menu upgrades and add-ons. That includes everything but the cake and drinks themselves (ie. all cake and drink service, rentals, tax, gratuity, etc.)

Claudia K is the florist they recommend - she's a little different from the more high end florists we looked at. She is a retired grandmother that used to own a flower shop but now does wedding flowers out of her home. She charges very reasonable prices and is super sweet, but you'll just have to trust her to carry out your vision as there is no website and her albums of past work are from a different era. My bouquets were stunning, the rest was very nice and well done, and by the time I found her I was so desperate for flower quote under $2k that I was just grateful.

My MIL worked with Tessoro flowers in St. Helena for the rehearsal dinner and they came out lovely. I believe they were a little flaky on the planning - her initial point person was a pain and eventually left the business (!) but whoever took over for him picked up the slack and executed well.

Not a HF vendor, but went with Laura of Muse Photo Studios out of SF. Photos came out gorgeous. We definitely have opinions about photographs and were appalled by the pricing of others that we liked. Muse was cheaper than others whose photos we liked, and took better pictures than others we could afford. (Thought initially that the pricing was extremely low but once we added extra pages to our album and extra e-pic prints, it was merely decent pricing - compared to other good bay area photographers.) Muse has a modern, supercolored vibe to their pictures, if that is your taste.

As for April, do it if you want but realize that their is a chance of rain, a chance of cold. Or at least the CA version of cold. Like it or not, 50s is pretty cold in a little cocktail dress, especially if it clouds over. You are just going to get much better odds of beautiful weather in May. Of course there is a chance of good weather in April - but we get beautiful weather in February too. The advantage of April is more that you will have better flexibility in getting preferred vendors than that you will get cost savings, IMO. Unless you have already secured quotes with different prices attached for April. Or are forced to a higher-priced vendor in May because the cheaper ones are taken.

Sebastiani has a lovely indoor space but the outside area is not as private or nice. Unless you are also renting their private estate, which is a separate location with a separate fee.

Harvest Inn looks gorgeous from the pictures, but was out of our price range.

Copia does have fabulous food but the outside is quite distinctive in landscaping. Might not be what you are looking for for wedding.

Gloria Ferrer might be another to consider. They have this great little deck looking over the marsh, and I think you can dance later there.

If you would reconsider May, you might look at Kunde's Boot Hill. Outdoor only but stunning 360 degree view of the Sonoma valley. Or you could do April with a tent.

You are on track for budget - that was roughly what we spent on a 100 person wedding, not including rings, honeymoon, or rehearsal (do we really have to include the rings in the wedding budget? That would require more honesty than I am prepared for). But there were splurges that could have been cut out, and people. A friend had a 75 person wedding at Hans Fahden for ~$30k about 3 years ago. All the usual stuff but less splurging.

 

[violet02]

Sorry I didn''t mean to scare anyone off with such a huge quote about my friends wedding. They obviously went with a pricey caterer. A destination wedding does mean smaller amt of guests for sure. It can be quite pricey to stay up in the napa valley though because it''s such a vacation spot. The fall is a really lovely time of year to get married there. It''s also harvest/crush season which means it''s very busy and things book up fast.

One thing I wanted to add... some friends of mine got married last October in Healdsburg (Somona co. area). They had their wedding and reception at a place called Barn Diva. It was very lovely. They had about 55 people. The town was very charming too. The whole wedding cost them 15k. Just a thought if you''re having a smaller wedding. It''s still wine country but not Napa prices.