did your parents paid for your college education?

[Dancing Fire]

IYO...should the parents pay or tell their kids to get a student loan?

 

[AmberGretchen]

I think its entirely up to the individual family to make that decision, partly based on their personal finances, and partly based on their views on education.

My parents have always believed that education is of paramount importance, and were generous enough to pay for my entire undergraduate tuition. I feel very blessed to have received that generosity and I tried to honor it by making the best of my education.

For graduate school, I was on my own, and that definitely played a role in my taking a path where I wouldn''t end up in debt (i.e. a science PhD where they pay you to go to school, not much, but enough to live on and stay out of debt).

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think if parents are insistant on a college education then yes, put your money where your mouth is....but if the parents aren''t pushing it or it''s not a value for them and it''s the child that really wants to go, then together the family should figure out a way to make it happen.

I am not a parent yet, but have started a college fund for any child/children I will/may have. Not going to college is a regret for me, and it will be something that my DH and I insist upon for our child...a simple continuation of their education, same as elementary school tranisitioned into Jr. High and Jr. High onto High School...they will move from High School onto College, no questions asked.

My parents put money away for my higher education...once I finished my cosmetology degree, my remaining funds became my down payment for my condo.

 

[strmrdr]

I paid for it mostly, my parents helped a little.

It always seemed like the students whose parents paid for it didn''t take it as serious as those that paid it themselves.
Yes parents should help if they can but it shouldn''t be a free ride.

 

[vslover]

We will pay in full for DS''s college/tuition/board, etc. My parents paid for most of mine and DH''s didn''t pay for his.

 

[Lauren8211]

I think if parents have the financial resources to do so, they should help. However, the kid should earn it, too. For instance, match dollar for dollar what the kid puts forth, or 2 dollars for 1 dollar. Just something to have them help.

I would NOT have dropped as many classes as I did if I had earned the money. I actually told my parents to stop paying for college, and I''ve taken out loans for my last year and a half. My parents have a tendency to want to pay for everything. I''ve had to wean myself from their money. They''d still be paying all my bills if I let them.

I find I take school more seriously when my finances are invested in it as well.

 

[LuckyTexan]

My parents paid for my first semester, but by the time I started the second one I was working a campus job to pay my room and board, and I had a regular off campus job to pay for my tuition. By the time I finished I was working 3 jobs, and I never borrowed a penny from anyone, and didn''t spend anymore of my parents money either. I am the oldest girl of 4, and second of 5 children. I felt bad taking away from the rest of my siblings who were still at home.

I have 2 boys, and we are planning for their education, so that they can enjoy their college years. I never did anything but study, work, and sleep- and very little of that! I don''t have any good stories to tell, and I didn''t date AT ALL! In hindsight... I''m glad I don''t have any student loans, but I really didn''t enjoy college!

 

[geckodani]

My mother paid for my undergrad, for which I will always be eternally grateful. That said, there was a stipulation there that if I started skipping/failing classes, she would no longer pay (not an issue, as I was a good student, but it was a good condition for her to place on me, IMO).

If/When I go to grad school, I am on my own.

My husband and I were approached by his father when my husband applied for law school. Father in law asked us which we'd rather have - an inheritence when he dies (

hopefully a long, LONG way off!!!) or Law School paid for. We chose law school

. Hubby is also on 85% scholarship, because he's awesome, so we would have been okay - but it sure is nice to not have to take out a student loan! It helped our marriage start off on good financial footing.

I plan to pay for college for my own hypothetical children someday, because I think it's important. I'll put the same no flunk condition on the kid too though.

ETA: I did have a job and covered my own living expenses.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My mom paid, but there were strings attached, as in she insisted I get a degree in Accounting even though it was not my thing (would she have paid had I chosen another field? Possibly not)! Even though my grades were excellent, I hated the field so much that I quit after nine months and went back to school, this time paying for it MYSELF, and studying archaeology and also taking numerous pottery classes.

I have no idea what the right answer regarding who should pay for kids' college. I'd like to help my kids out so they do not enter the job force owing $100K in student loans, but that means DH and I will have to come up with all that money. I guess we'll figure out what to do when the time comes!

ETA: I did have a job and paid for ALL my own living expenses. . .my mom just covered tuition and books.

 

[Allison D.]

No, my parents didn''t. I paid for it myself through loans, grants, and jobs.

 

[diane5006]

My Dad was able to help me...they paid for my 1st degree (<$2000 total) I worked for spending money etc. They helped with my second (<$4000 total) I worked full time and got some tuition reimbursment. For the 3rd (@$3000-6000 per course @ 30,000 total) I paid no loans... I was working full time..and was able to be creative with the payments...for my graduate school (@$20,000) total... I paid...I was working...

It is great if parents can afford to help their kids with school...but it helps to set boundries...my dad said they would pay for 4 years...he was able to help more...and could have helped for my last 2 had I asked...but I was good for me to do it on my own...

Loans are okay but not the best plan for my...I wasn't big on the debt thing...and I did not technically qualify for finacial aid...I earned all on my degrees while working...my my last 2 the expensive ones I was much older (30's, 40's)

I don't have kids...but if I did I would be saving for their undergrad...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I grew up poor and decided to go to a private college. Bad combo resulting in lots of debt for me. Still, I wouldn't have had it any other way--my parents simply didn't have the resources and going to college was important for me, so I did what I could (I had about half paid for through private scholarships)...my parents didn't even know I'd applied to college. DH was in the same boat, but made the better decision to go to a more economical state school and was able to pay his way through school without taking on any loans--he started college when he was only 14, which makes this task even more difficult.

We plan to pay for our childrens' education, but because neither of us grew up with a silver spoon in our mouths we willl certainly be those annoying parents who go on and on about "the value of a dollar". I can already see myself harping on how "life was so much harder on the farm"...

ETA: After reading ElMorton's post, I have to agree about the stress level of those who pay for their education themselves...both DH and I worked full-time and went to school full time and took extra courses to shave off an extra semester. There were many a panic-attack and neither of us could consider an option like studying abroad. In some ways I think taking on that much stress so young was tough and a reason that neither of us are too keen on graduate school...well the stress coupled with the hit our savings account would take.

 

[LuckyTexan]

Date: 1/12/2009 12:14:40 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I grew up poor and decided to go to a private college. Bad combo resulting in lots of debt for me. Still, I wouldn''t have had it any other way--my parents simply didn''t have the resources and going to college was important for me, so I did what I could (I had about half paid for through private scholarships)...my parents didn''t even know I''d applied to college. DH was in the same boat, but made the better decision to go to a more economical state school and was able to pay his way through school without taking on any loans--he started college when he was only 14, which makes this task even more difficult.

We plan to pay for our childrens'' education, but because neither of us grew up with a silver spoon in our mouths we willl certainly be those annoying parents who go on and on about ''the value of a dollar''. I can already see myself harping on how ''life was so much harder on the farm''...

Are you married to Doogie????

I went to private too... I chose a school with a very respected music program (music is my OTHER passion!) and I also went to college at a young age... I turned 17 literally the day before I left for college! That may have had a lot to do with why I didn''t date much! LOL!

 

[Elmorton]

My parents paid for my undergraduate, and I paid for my graduate degree (with tuition paid for through my assistantships). DH''s parents also paid for his undergrad, but he does have debt because of living expenses and unpaid internships. So, even though our parents supported us, we both have education-related debt.

DH and I plan to pay for our child''s education, though the rising costs of education may make it supremely difficult. At most community colleges, a benefit is that children and spouses can take classes for free. Hopefully I''ll be tenured before we have a college-ready child! At minimum then, we will offer our child the first two years at a community college and the second two at a university. This was my parents'' plan (my father taught at a community college), though they ended up paying all 4 (though I did take about 30 hours at the community college over summers) when I was accepted to their alma mater.

As a teacher, I am frustrated with parents who decide, though they can afford costs, to make their child pay for their education. Currently, my city is trying to adopt a program where students who attend 4 years in district high schools with a certain GPA will earn 2 years at the local community college and 2 years tuition at a state university. As an educator, I look at this program as being a godsend. However, many, many people are against the adoption of the program. One city council member stated that he thinks students should pay for their own education because he had his education paid for by his parents and partied too much, consequently flunking out. Therefore, his children will work through school and be reimbursed by their parents for good grades. This person believes that by making a person pay for their education, they will appreciate it more.

I disagree. Rather, I think that these students will fail to take risks, expand horizons and make good choices in terms of where they go to school. I get so frustrated when I see students avoid taking extra classes due to tuition costs or choose a local or cheaper university instead of another that actually specializes in a student''s area of study.

Also, when students are working to pay their way through school, they often work at the expense of their education. If I had a dollar for every time a student''s job kept them from continuing a class, taking a final, or turning in an assignment, I could afford tuition anywhere. There is a difference here between a community college and university, of course. Community colleges are more work-friendly due to class scheduling, and less emphasis on extra-curricular involvement, etc, but I can honestly and openly say that students who work full-time tend to be less successful than their counterparts because it is extremely difficult to maintain balance and find the proper amount of time to devote to study. Some students do excel under pressure of course or have extreme determination to succeed, so there are always exceptions to the rule - but I think the casualties outweigh the victors. I don''t think some parents realize that the academics and participation in university life IS a full-time job for a college student.

That all said, I think it''s up to a family to decide what is best for them financially and what is best for the individual student.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/12/2009 11:57:12 AM
Author:Dancing Fire
IYO...should the parents pay or tell their kids to get a student loan?

My mom prepared me for the costs of college before entering in school. So I worked and saved every penny.

Now, my mom gets money from the VA in our names (my brothers and me) to help take care of us (until 18 at least). She didn't tell us this and instead saved the money. On our 18th birthday, she handed over the account. I used that money for college so technically yes she did pay for part of it. The same goes with my brothers (they have significantly more than I did as I only received 4 years worth of paymetns while my brothers received 12 years worth).

I think what parents should do is be on top of their students to make sure they are doing the best they can in school to get scholarships and grants. They should keep up with financial aid and make themselves aware of available aid outside of student loans. There is a lot of aid available to everyone, you just have to know how to look for it.

My mom cannot be expected to pay in full for us. While I graduated in 2004 my brothers are a year apart and are both in school and staying on campus. I made sure that when my brothers entered high school, they got on the right track to get their scholarships. Florida offers Bright Futures which pays 75-100% of your tuition based on your grades. My brothers both received 100% and it took a lot of hard work. But it was worth it

 

[Pandora II]

I''m in the UK and until recently the government covered the cost of degree courses in full for everyone regardless of means.

My parents earned too much for me to qualify for a government grant towards living expenses so they paid those. However they didn''t believe that I should have more money than people on state grants so I got exactly the same - in the early 90''s about $6k a year.

I also worked in the holidays and left college owing the bank $2k which I paid off within months.

Nowadays the government covers everything except £3k GBP a year for tuition fees - but you can take out special student loans to pay for college. They have low interest rates and you don''t start paying back until you earn over £17k GBP a year - it''s then a fixed monthly sum that can be deducted direct from your wages. If you never earn that much the loan is written off after 25 years.

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 1/12/2009 12:01:40 PM
Author: strmrdr
I paid for it mostly, my parents helped a little.


It always seemed like the students whose parents paid for it didn''t take it as serious as those that paid it themselves.

Yes parents should help if they can but it shouldn''t be a free ride.

Eh, not always true. My parents paid for all my 4.5 years of college and I took it very seriously, graduating magna cum laude (not to brag, or anything

)
And I know some college friends had their parents paying for college as well and they were taking it pretty seriously.

But as far as grad school (which I didn''t end up pursuing... I went to massage school instead) I think it was understood that I was responsible to pay for it, which I did..

If I ever have children, I will do the same for them.

 

[LAJennifer]

Date: 1/12/2009 12:01:40 PM
Author: strmrdr
I paid for it mostly, my parents helped a little.

It always seemed like the students whose parents paid for it didn''t take it as serious as those that paid it themselves.
Yes parents should help if they can but it shouldn''t be a free ride.

Ditto - and agreed.

 

[Steel]

Good Topic.

No* - did your parents pay for my college education?
I left home at 16 and paid my own way through university. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had to work night shifts and get back to class at 9am, worked straight after most exams and I never got a penny from my parents (who happily supported my brothers through uni

- it's a sore point).

Date: 1/12/2009 11:57:12 AM
Author:Dancing Fire
IYO...should the parents pay or tell their kids to get a student loan?

If I have a child, I hope to be able to support them through life. That for me, includes contributing (at least a %) to university fees and costs. So for me, Yes.

[*The government paid my course fees. But had they not, I would have taken a student loan]

 

[Bia]

My parents are both are both immigrants to the States and had to work as soon as they were old enough to do so. My parents finished HS but shortly after started a family and then a business. My father, for those reasons, wasn't able to go to college. My mother, after we were old enough and in school, went back because she was a SAHM and by that point, could afford to do so. To them, college for us kids was very very important...aside from our health and well-being, it was everything. They put money away for both of us and were able to pay our full tuitions. Their only condition they had was that we had to maintain an A-B average. A cousin of mine flunked out of school more than once and at some point her parents had to stop paying because they were literally throwing money away. My folks made it clear that they would checking on us.

Now, I feel very lucky as many of my friends are in a ridiculous amount of debt due to school loans.

I hope to be able to afford to send my future child/children to college (the entire way if possible), but if I can't I will most definitely help them in any way I can. For me (and for me only) that's part of my responsibilty as a parent...

 

[Porridge]

Date: 1/12/2009 12:11:08 PM
Author: geckodani
My mother paid for my undergrad, for which I will always be eternally grateful. That said, there was a stipulation there that if I started skipping/failing classes, she would no longer pay (not an issue, as I was a good student, but it was a good condition for her to place on me, IMO).

That was a great idea from your Mum Geckodani! University is mostly covered by the government in Ireland (and throughout Europe), students paid about €800 a year when I was there. But if you fail and have to repeat a year, you have to pay for that yourself. My parents paid for board, books etc (they are exactly like yours elledizzy!)

I have to disagree with you strmdr - I took my degree very seriously as did others in my course who weren't working during the academic months. I don't think having financial support from parents dictates how seriously people take their education, or anything else for that matter. It's all down to attitude, both the parent's and the child's.

I think if parents can afford it, then they should at least contribute towards their child's education. It can give the child more options, and as a few people have pointed out, trying to support yourself through college can be very stressful.

I also have to say that tuition fees in the States seem crazy expensive!!

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 1/12/2009 11:57:12 AM
Author:Dancing Fire
IYO...should the parents pay or tell their kids to get a student loan?

I think it depends on the parents financial position. If I could easily afford it and my daughter kept her grades up, I would HAPPILY cut a check every semester. No one paid a crying dime, not even a BOOK for my college education and it was a complete struggle. I was depressed and at one point suicidal. I would DEFIANTELY relieve that burden if I could.

 

[musey]

Mine did. My father went much further in life because his dad chose to pay for his undergrad + medical school. If he'd been on his own, he would never have made it to/through medical school, in his circumstances. So he felt it important to support his children's educations.

I have no opinion on whether parents "should" provide for their children's educations.

I disagree that students who have their education paid for take it less seriously than those who have to pay their way. I'd venture to bet that it depends on the school. I went to a very academically challenging university with a very high graduation and job placement rate, and people were there to learn (which is not to say that they didn't have fun, because somehow it is/was a party school as well

).

There are caveats in either case. Students whose parents pay MAY take their education less seriously, but students who have to pay their own way may get financially stuck and have to drop out (I've seen this happen more than once) or cut way back, which can lead to dropping out altogether (hey, life happens). Who knows if they'll ever go back, many don't.

 

[trillionaire]

I would love to pay for future kids to go to college, but I doubt I will be able to afford the requisite 100K a year tuition...

 

[coatimundi_org]

Mine paid for undergrad, and I''m very grateful that they did.

 

[partgypsy]

I think this is a personal family decision, can''t tell you what other people should do. People whose parents didn''t pay think that''s the way to go, people whose parent''s paid think that''s the way to go. My parents paid for my college, but I also had a scholarship that paid 20% as long as my grades were above a certain level, and worked summer and also as a ta during the semester for extra money. I am very appreciative that my parents did what they did, I can''t imagine being a college student with all those loans!
With the way college costs go up higher and higher and having 2 kids myself I don''t think I will be able to pay for college outright for them even if I wanted to. However I have started college funds for them and plan to contribute to hopefully be in a position to pay a significant percentage of their college costs.
Other people I know have started funds for their children, and when they are college age will give them the choice to apply that money to college, or to start their own business, etc.

 

[emeraldlover1]

I paid for my education. Well, I should say I am still paying for my education.

 

[kittybean]

My parents didn''t pay for college. I had a merit-based scholarship that provided me with tuition and a stipend. They would help me with expenses here and there. I also applied for and received additional, smaller scholarships through the years, so pretty much everything was paid for through scholarship money. The money my parents and other family members had contributed to my college fund paid for me to go to law school, which then allowed me to work in the public sector without worrying about student loan debt.

Each family should decide whether the parents want to pay for college. Most parents I know decide they want to put their kids through college. Many of these families have college funds for each child that they have contributed to since the child was very young.

 

[ladypirate]

My parents paid for undergrad with the stipulation that I had to come up with half of the cost through scholarships/work study.

 

[kcoursolle]

My parents did not, but one of my other relatives had some money set aside for me (which I am very very thankful for). My parents were very honest and real about college and said that they woult not be paying for my college and there was X amount of money available that will cover X percentage of a public university of less of a private or out of state school. I made the choice on my own based on the information. I appreciate their saavy advice and maturity with how they talked to me about the matter.