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did your parents paid for your college education?

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Date: 1/12/2009 12:01:30 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I think if parents are insistant on a college education then yes, put your money where your mouth is....but if the parents aren''t pushing it or it''s not a value for them and it''s the child that really wants to go, then together the family should figure out a way to make it happen.

I am not a parent yet, but have started a college fund for any child/children I will/may have. Not going to college is a regret for me, and it will be something that my DH and I insist upon for our child...a simple continuation of their education, same as elementary school tranisitioned into Jr. High and Jr. High onto High School...they will move from High School onto College, no questions asked.

My parents put money away for my higher education...once I finished my cosmetology degree, my remaining funds became my down payment for my condo.
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Yes, I agree with that. That said, I always believed my parents were going to pay for my college, ALL OF IT. I never felt that I had an option. My mom didn''t go to college until we were in HS and it was very important to her to have us go, and graduate. (Background: she got her Associate''s degree and always felt she could have earned more if she got the BS and as such, made it a priority for us kids to go.) My parents always said, we won''t pay for any more than 4 years of schooling, so don''t d!ck around.
That said my parents did help out. However my SR year in HS my dad was laid off, and was never able to get back to work making the same kind of money he made before... which is probably why I was tricked into signing for student loans. They paid for maybe a couple grand a year, but I was paying for $5K a year for the room and board and other incidental costs like text books. I thought they were paying for it all. I just thought the student loans meant that I would go... I was young and trusting and didn''t ask a lot of questions. So I had NO IDEA I was supposed to pay back the $17K worth of student loans! Now looking back , I wish they had made it clearer to me what I was paying for. I didn''t change my major during my 2nd semester Sophmore year because I''d have to stay in school another semester or two... so I just got a different minor. I regret not changing my major to this day... but was under the impression I''d have to pay $$ out of my own pocket if I went over 4 years. What a surprise it was 6 months after graduation when the bills started coming in!
Do I think a parents has to pay... No I don''t. Do I think it should be presented honestly, yes I do. I don''t think degrees are necessary at all. Just go to your local Enterprise Rent A Car- everyone working there has a college degree... and they are working RETAIL! But I do think if a parent makes it a priority - to the point that the child feels there is no other option... then yes... put out your money.
DH''s parents paid 100% of his and his bros... and they paid for the house down payments (for the other 2 brothers, not us, DH doesnt want any handouts.) and still pick up the tab every time they take their children (all in their 30''s) out to eat or to do anything... maybe I should start a new thread... when does/should this gravy train end?
That all being said... My SILs mother was a single mother and very poor. From the beginning she always said- if you want to get to college you better find a way to pay for it. She ended up getting a full ride due to her grades. She got her MACC and now is doing very VERY well. The BILs are still depending off of their parents to make everything right....

Who is happier? My SIL BY FAR. Who has had the least amount of trouble? My SIL.... wow, I ramble, sorry. I hope I brought it back to point!
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There are free fees (you pay roughly €1k) in Ireland at the moment so with my first degree, my parents paid the fee yearly. When I went back to do veterinary which is far more expensive, I''m paying over half and my dad said that he''d cover the rest. I would like to be able to pay for my future child to attend univeristy if I was in a financial position to do so.
 
No, I am paying and will be paying for a long time yet.
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I got through school on loans, part time jobs, and scholarships. Thankfully, grad school is paid for with tuition waiver and stipend - so I'm only accruing interest on my undergrad loans. Eeek! I'm going to be paying those back for years!

My parents would have loved to help pay for college, but unfortunately they simply could not. I'd like to set up college savings accounts for my future children (probably won't be big, though, as I'll be paying back my own loans first, lol!).
 
Not most of it....
I received a full academic scholarship for all 4 years, plus another one through my dad''s company that paid for books/some living expenses. Then I worked during the summers to save up and pay for the rest.

In my opinion, parents should set up their children a college fund if their financial needs are met first: out of debt except the house, emergency fund set up, contributing to retirement. However, I also think it is the student''s responsibility to apply for as many scholarships as they can and to work at least during the summers to help pay for some of it. I also think parents/students should be more realistic about schools they choose. If there is no college fund set in place, perhaps a public state school instead of an out-of-state or private school would be best. I think it is ridiculous (with the exception of maybe a few professions, med school etc) when students come out of college owing more than my first house in student loans. Sending your child into debt to start their lives off is not a good idea.
 
I went from high school straight into our local university because my parents wanted me to. I dropped out after that first semester because I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do with my life, I just knew it wasn't traditional school. I spent my time there looking at other schools and seeing what interested me.

I then asked my parents to send me to the most prestigious culinary school in the country. Not surprisingly, they said no. Instead they suggested that I go to the local community college and get my culinary degree there, and the agreement was that if I stuck that out, then we could talk about the prestigious school.

I got my associates (total degree-including $500 worth of knives cost less than $1,500 because the culinary program is supported by sponsors) and told my parents I still wanted to go to the expensive school. They sent me to it. I stayed for the first two semesters, but because of my degree I was bored. I never opened up a book and had a 3.8 GPA. So I left because I felt like I wasn't learning anything.

Came home, worked for a year and then decided that $8 an hour ($9 if I was cooking) still wasn't what I wanted. So I asked my parents to go back to school--for the traditional degree. And because they were still paying for everything, I told them that I would go to the community college until I couldn't anymore because the $350 tuition was much better than the $3,000 to go to the local university.

So now I'm at the university, I will graduate in December at the age of 27, and my dad's biggest regret? Making me go to college in the first place. He's glad that I found my way back there, but he thinks he would have saved a lot of grief and pain had they let me work for the first year out of high school instead of insisting I go to get an education. (We went to lunch with my cousin not long ago, and he's paying $25,000 a semester for his daughter to go to some fancy private school, and my dad decided that my $3,000 a semester wasn't so bad after all!)

ETA: Because of my dad's income, I never qualified for financial aid until I was 25 and considered independent from my parents.
 
I got loans. My parents definitely "could" have afforded it... But they thought I should have to do it myself to learn responsibility (or some bs like that). I have $40,000 worth of loans that I get to start paying off in April. (I''m a teacher... I''ll be paying until i''m 50!!)
 
My mom paid for the first two semesters, but after the second semester of her not paying on time and (Me) having to beg the bursar to let me register I said to hell with it and I took it over myself. My mom is one of the most fiscally irresponsibly people I know. However, she still claimed me as a dependent, and remarried into a decent income, so I got little-to-no financial aid other than scholarships on merit and federal loans. I got through school just about 100% on student loans.

I know I graduated with a mortgage and no MD., but it was so worth it. It kept me motivated and taught me to value my education vs squander it on keggers. I plan to have my kids emancipated at 18, so they can claim dependency and get as much aid as possible, and then contribute an agreed upon (and affordable) amount each semester. If they don''t go to school they still get emancipated but don''t get any cash.
 
My husband''s parents told him to either join the military, attend junior college or apply for student loans. They didn''t much care about college or higher education. So, he joined the military and has the option of getting a degree at no cost to him. Worked out well for him.

My parents never really spoke to me about college and I just wasn''t interested in attending college straight out of high school. I was never firm on what I wanted to formally study until the this past year. I sure as heck wasn''t going to plunk down tens of thousands of dollars on just any ole degree program.
 
My parents paid for all of our college educations. My dad also paid for my mom to get her bachelor''s and master''s once we were older, because they married young and she didn''t start college until she was 40.
 
My parents are paying in part, through student loans. The rest is paid by merit-based scholarships and need-based financial assistance from my college, as well as loans taken out in my name from the government. I will owe a ridiculous amount in loans when I finish this semester, but I consciously chose to go to a private and therefore more expensive school. I value my education immensely, and I wouldn''t trade it for the world. I work 3 work-study jobs, although the hours they cap us at are not especially intense. It does pay for books and other living expenses. I am also doubling up on classes and when I graduate this Spring it will be a semester earlier than I would have otherwise.

I consider myself very fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to seek a college education and who are willing to assist me in paying for it even though they are struggling financially. In return I work my hardest and make the best grades I can manage, which makes them proud of me and happy that they were able to help.

Do I think parents should pay? I think if they can afford to pay it is a nice gesture. I know from my own experience and the experiences of others that it is difficult to fully work through school to pay tuition in full because it detracts from time that could be spent doing school work or some much-needed de-stressing and relaxation. Also, as financial need is determined by parental income in many cases, if the parents make a substantial amount of money and do not pay, the student is forced to take out ridiculously large loans to pay the costs. I understand that everyone has different values when it comes to education, though.
 
No they did not pay for it. I got a full tuition scholarship. But had I opted to go to a different school that didn''t offer me that I woul dhave had to pay. They totally didn''t have the money. I figured all my college stuff out on my own. Had no advice from them as they did not go to college.
 
My parents paid for my undergrad, not for graduate school. They only were willing to pay for a state school however, so if I had gone private I would have been responsible for the difference. And they only paid for school expenses, anything else was my responsibility.
 
Heck no, they didn''t pay for my college education! Now, of course, I didn''t go back to college until I was about 23 and working full time. At that point, I guess they thought I should pay for mine, since they had paid for their own. That''s what adults do, isn''t it?

If parents have been able to put away money for college educations, I''m sure they want to use it for that purpose. There''s nothing wrong with that. But the college kid needs a part-time job to pay for their incidentals, partying money, etc. Besides, employment will help them grow up and get used to the real world.
 
My parents offered to pay for my undergraduate education, as long as it was an in-state school. If I chose to go out of state, they would pay the in-state rate, and I was responsible for the rest. As it turned out, they only paid for my first 2 years of college. I felt bad when my little sister started college at that point, so I told them I would pay for it myself.
I think the hardest part was that the government makes it VERY difficult to get any sort of loans if your parents still claim you as a dependent on their taxes and make a reasonable amount of money. I applied for loans, and my expected family contribution was equal to the tuition. Soooo I worked my butt off to pay for my tuition myself. I was fortunate enough to have a high-paying job (compared to my friends). It makes me feel bad though, for students who have parents who *won''t* pay for their education, but the student doesn''t qualify for loans. That is why I will pay for my future children''s education, because I know my SO and myself will make too much money for them to qualify for loans.
Now in grad school, they will lend you as much as you want, even if you are still a dependent. So yay for student loans!
Wow, sorry, I will step off my soapbox now
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I had to take out loans for my college - but lucky for me I''m the oldest (of 2) and my parents took out most of my loans in their names so they''re stuck paying them. I''ve paid about 12K off of my loans and still have about 10K to go. According to my payment schedule they''ll be paid off the year I turn 40
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. My sister, on the other hand, has most of her loans in her own name so she''s stuck with the bill
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. Granted, she''s nearly 25 and still lives at home and has only nominal expenses and a full time job so it''s not like she can''t afford the payments.

My parents could not have afforded to pay for our college educations and the rule was that if we didn''t attend college full-time then we''d have to get full-time jobs and pay my parents rent. I wasn''t about to do that so off to college I went. I didn''t qualify for any grants or scholarships so it was all financed. I went to school full-time and had to work part-time to pay my car payment, credit cards, insurance, etc. I do think that working affected my grades.
 
I paid for every dime, and I''ll continue paying for it for another 14 years, at which point my loans will be paid off. My parents didn''t have the money to send me to college, so I took out loans, worked as a Resident Advisor (free room and board), and took on as many part-time jobs as I could handle.

My parents are paying for some tuition for my younger siblings, but they have the money, now. They also generously paid for our entire wedding, and my mom told me that they really wanted to do it because they couldn''t pay for college (not that I think they "owed" it to me or anything.)
 
Date: 1/12/2009 12:01:40 PM
Author: strmrdr
I paid for it mostly, my parents helped a little.


It always seemed like the students whose parents paid for it didn't take it as serious as those that paid it themselves.

Yes parents should help if they can but it shouldn't be a free ride.
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I think this is often true but not always. I've always been very self-driven and motivated, and I worked VERY hard during college, and made excellent grades and took a very challenging course of study, despite the fact that it was essentially a "free ride" for me.

So I think this is a tricky generalization, though it certainly applies in many cases.
 
To cover my undergrad, half was need-based aid, and then my parents and grandparents split the difference. My grandfather''s older brothers put him through law school (to give him opportunities that they themselves didn''t have) and that made an impression on him. He saw it as a duty and privilege to help fund his grandchildren''s educations. I am extremely grateful not to have loans and don''t think that I worked any less hard because of it - its just my personality to excel at school. Certainly some students *may* waste the opportunity because of immaturity or they don''t care or they don''t want to be there or something.

The big difference, for me, was that I didn''t think about how to earn money when I got out. I just thought about what I enjoyed studying not what kind of job I would be suited for and how I would enjoy that. I taught parochial high school for a couple of years before realizing that it was hard to feed and clothe myself on that salary, let alone try to raise a family or save for a house or retirement! What a learning process its been.

One other thing I will say is that the debt load can really affect what professional choices people make, and as a society these can be good or bad. Maybe in my case I would have thought a little bit more about how to earn money if I knew I would be in debt after college. But what about my classmate that really wanted to be a teacher but, burdened with college debt, choose to be a banker instead? Is that really a great outcome? My husband is a doctor, and many of his med school classmates decided to specialize in something lucrative because of their monstrous debt burden (sometimes for undergrad and med school). Family practice might sound nice and rewarding, but if they woln''t be able to make their loan payments they decide to do something else. Ditto for lawyers interested in the public defender''s office or poverty law or non-profit legal counsel. Maybe they are willing to work in a much less well-compensated field, but not if under a crushing burden of debt. They suck it up and go work for the Big Corporate Law Firm to pay off their debt. And if a student gets half way through law school or med school and realizes the profession is not for them, it takes incredible fortitude for them to leave without their degree and higher earning capacity if they were using loans to pay. Your average law or med student was usually not cavalier about their decision to go to school, but should they really keep going on for years in a profession that is not for them because of the debt burden? Food for thought.

I think parent''s should contribute to their children''s higher education if they are able. And a parent''s obligation to pay for graduate school is certainly (at least) one notch below their obligation to pay for undergrad, which is becoming more and more necessary for general work. Parents first have an obligation to care for any other children under 18 still at home, and to take care of themselves in terms of retirement savings and their other obligations (home, etc.) but higher education is part of raising kids. Kids also have obligations - to get good grades, to not waste their parent''s money, to choose wisely their school and major, to earn and save money when able.
 
Date: 1/12/2009 12:00:47 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
I think its entirely up to the individual family to make that decision, partly based on their personal finances, and partly based on their views on education.

My parents have always believed that education is of paramount importance, and were generous enough to pay for my entire undergraduate tuition. I feel very blessed to have received that generosity and I tried to honor it by making the best of my education.

For graduate school, I was on my own, and that definitely played a role in my taking a path where I wouldn''t end up in debt (i.e. a science PhD where they pay you to go to school, not much, but enough to live on and stay out of debt).
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Ditto. Education is also of great importance in my family, so my parents and my grandmother put money aside for us. My parents paid for my rent and food, my grandmother for my books and I paid my tuition. I was very blessed to finish undergrad debt free. DH''s parents didn''t support their children''s higher education.
 
We insisted our girls go to college, so we pay tuition. They pay for books. We feel they gain some responsibility and put more effort in if they are contributing something themselves, and this is not a major cost. Of course they get to choose exactly what *they* want to study. DD1 will have to pay for graduate school by loans however, as DD2 is just beginning her education next year and we won''t be able to do it all. DD2 wants to go away to school, which is a touchy subject with me since there are 3 very reputable schools within commuting distance. If she decides to move away, she will be responsible for her living expenses (since it''s her choice, and is not a necessity IMO). So in the end, they''ll actually both end up with some loans for approximately the same amount, and we will have paid tuition. If that makes any sense? DD1 lives at home and commutes.
 
FI and I have discussed this before. We both came from families that afforded us with the entire education, room/board, and expeditures. We aren't really sure what we will do, but his parents keep saying that "grandma and grandpa" will pay for it.

I'm not sure that that is what I want. I think if we pay for half, and the other half is student loans, upon graduation we could have an agreement to pay a certain amount, or all, of the loans based on degree/GPA level.

It all depends... I'm sure my views will change over the years, but this is what I like most so far.
 
While my parents offered, I was able to pay for college on my own through awards/scholarships and money I earned modeling and working for my dad during the summer months. I also applied for scholarships for grad school and earned money through modeling to pay for the rest of my expenses.

There is money out there for the taking through scholarships, awards, etc. you just have to look for it and apply.
 
I just responded to the should parents pay for wedding thread, and I immediately thought of should they pay for college, and then I saw this! Yes I do think parents should pay for college, especially if they can afford to. My parents paid every cent of college for all 3 of us, and I will do the same for any children I have
 
No...kind of. I did a 4 year bachelors and a 2 year masters and I had a line of credit the entire time. I didn''t qualify for a student loan until grad school when you automatically qualify after being 4 years out of high school. During my first two years of university my parents wrote me a couple of checks (a couple of thousand each) but they cut me off after that! In spite of working throughout my entire university career I still came out $30+k in debt... (three years later though, I''ve only got about $9k left!
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They paid for books, I had a scholarship and then I split some of it with my parents. I worked full time in the summer and part time during school.
 
Date: 1/12/2009 8:43:25 PM
Author: purselover
I just responded to the should parents pay for wedding thread, and I immediately thought of should they pay for college, and then I saw this! Yes I do think parents should pay for college, especially if they can afford to. My parents paid every cent of college for all 3 of us, and I will do the same for any children I have
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nice to have rich parents.
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Depends on the family...sure, if they can afford it.
My parents did not pay for mine because I was able to get a scholarship and loans.
 
I think that, as a parent, you should pay for you child''s education especially if you insist on them going. My parents paid for every cent of my education from pre-school to law school. They didn''t want me to start my adult life out with an astronomical debt.
 
I think it''s reasonable for parents/children to work out an arrangement that assists/funds college if the parents are in a position to do so. I do think the agreement should involve some stipulations on the parents part regarding grades earned, etc. My husband and I, who are not parents, have discussed this, and agreed that a certain grade should be set as a minimum and if the child doesn''t achieve that grade, he/she will foot the bill for that class.

I am not a fan of the "college is the only choice" mentality. There are other options and it''s as meaningful to become a mechanic who loves cars as it is a scientist who loves research...it''s all about fulfillment and personal success.

My parents did pay for my undergrad courseworkl, and there were semesters they probably should have cut funding. My husband and I are footing the bill for my master''s. It meant a lot more being older and having to pay for it.
 
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