Disappointed with venue

[karasue91]

Well I just had to vent. We chose our venue without even seeing it in person because everything in Calgary books up so fast, we had to book like a year and a half before the wedding. We booked the place because it would allow us to bring in our own liquor and they have a pretty outdoor area by the river for the ceremony.

When I actually saw the place in person I freaked out a bit because the inside of the building is horrid. Ugly commercial linoleum flooring, ugly curtains, trophies on the walls (it''s a Shriner Center), the ugliest dishes ever, and AWFUL bathrooms. But, it was pretty much the only halfway decent place we could afford for the number of people we have to invite (FI has a big family and tons of friends), without going to a community center type place. The coordinator was kind of a jerk a few times but I let FI deal with him, so I agreed to book. He also said they would be redoing the bathrooms.

So FI''s family has a friend who had an event at the same place we are getting married and she said they rented dishes because they didn''t like the dishes either. This lady is in the Daughters of the Nile, which is like the female version of the Shriners. So, we had been planning on renting dishes ever since we heard that. Today I call the coordinator and he says no, that the only reason they got to rent dishes is because they cooked all the food themselves and therefore the chef wasn''t there. He says the chef is the one who says it''s too big of a hassle and says to me "if you didn''t like the dishes why did you book? why did you book?" I about cancelled the whole f''ing wedding right there.

Why do these coordinators have to be on such a power trip? It''s so upsetting to be trying to plan a wedding and have the person who is SUPPOSED to be helping you be such a jerk.

My colors were going to be black, white and pink, but these ugly dishes will completely clash. I can''t change my colors because FSIL has already bought a bunch of black and white pillows to put outside. I guess I just have to choose to ignore the dishes and not let it bother me? God I feel like a hippo is sitting on my chest and I''m about to burst out into tears here at work.

It''s so ridiculous for me to be so upset about this!! I guess I just need to breathe and tell myself it doesn''t matter. Because it doesn''t. But still...

I just wish I had never heard that someone else had different dishes because I would have maybe changed my colors to include brown so they didn''t look so out of place. Here is a picture of the dishes:

 

[karasue91]

View of room....thank god they painted so the wall is no longer that ugly green. But the back wall is still carpeted brown, and the painted wall is now beige.

We are doing chair covers so hopefully that will help?

 

[karasue91]

Back of the building....this is what the guests will see if they look up at the building from the grass where the ceremony will be....

 

[LegacyGirl]

Oh I''m so sorry to hear that. Don''t you just hate it when people act like that?? Was it not pictured like that on their website? Do you have any other options?

 

[karasue91]

OK now focusing on positives....pretty site for ceremony....there is also a fountain in the water which isn''t turned on when the photo was taken.

 

[karasue91]

Back area....I know it''s rustic with the picnic tables, but we were going to put some pillows down on the benches and put some hanging lights in the trees (LED tealights).

I just need to accept it and move on....and just keep on with my decorating ideas? Maybe I should eliminate the black from my colors and just go with pink and white? We could still use the black and white pillows outside? I ordered black sashes to go with my chair covers but maybe I should change them to pink or even just white?

 

[Gypsy]

Oh honey there are so MANY options for that venue.

I would nix the black and take a loss on the pillows. I do either brown and pink and cream/white or blue and brown and cream/white. Chair covers with colored sashes (either the pink or the blue) neutral linens, colored napkins. White/ivory flowers with pink or blue accents. Half the flower arrangements raised (either on a stand or in vases-- to block the eye line to the "wall o' carpet" ) and the other half down low (to save $$). There's TOTALLY hope.

You're just going to have to expand your decorating budget and get creative. It's TOTALLY workable. Trust me. If you can find cheap bolts of chiffon or tulle, swag the heck out of those window treatments and use some green (fresh greens) floral swags with white flowers wired into to make them festive. Get some lighting going in the reception room and it will be great.

 

[hopefulheidi]

I would be freaking out too if I was you. It''s hard enough to plan things, but then to find that things aren''t what you were expecting is even more disappointing.

On the upside, the view is really awesome for your ceremony site, and it looks like the outside is basically a blank slate so I''m sure you can work wonders with that.

I know you mentioned that black and white and pink were your colors and that you already have *some* black stuff but is there anyway you could maybe change your colors to white, pink and brown and use the black items for something else? With all that brown going on, I think I''d have a hard time working the black in, but perhaps some more creative people can help you out with that. I just know that pink and brown is one of those hot color combos right now and they play off each other really nicely. With all the brown and beige and even those less than perfect dishes, a pink/white/brown theme might bring it all together. The trick is just to make it seem like you planned everything to coordinate like that hehe

~Heidi

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:16:19 PM
Author: LegacyGirl
Oh I''m so sorry to hear that. Don''t you just hate it when people act like that?? Was it not pictured like that on their website? Do you have any other options?

Thanks Legacy. I know if we cancelled there would be 10 people who would want to take our spot so he obviously doesn''t need us for the business, and therefore has no reason to care if we are happy or not.

The picture with the green wall actually was taken from their website, but FSIL went to a wedding there and said it was nice (that wedding was in a different room though), and it was honestly the only affordable option I could find since I had to book it from NYC. I didn''t have high expectations but I was just really banking on being able to rent some plain white dishes!!

 

[CrownJewel]

Yup, I agree with Gypsy. This is absolutely do-able. If you want to keep the black and white pillows outside, that''s totally fine. Black pink and white for ceremony outside, you move inside and it''s brown pink and white. It actually helps to point out the transition between ceremony and reception. And change the order for the sashes to pink. The pink will help to conceptually tie the two spaces together.

The dishes are fine! No one ever notices dishes. Everyone will be busy looking at YOU and the decor. They''ll all be drinking right?

Why would you try to rent different dishes if everyone will be too drunk to notice?

 

[turtledazzle]

My colors were going to be black, white and pink, but these ugly dishes will completely clash. I can't change my colors because FSIL has already bought a bunch of black and white pillows to put outside. I guess I just have to choose to ignore the dishes and not let it bother me?

Disclaimer: I do not claim to have much decorating style!

If you are only going to use the black and white pillows outside ... then maybe just do that and incoroporate browns instead of black into the inside room for the reception. While those dishes aren't great, I can see them working by using similar brown colored baskets or something like that for the bases of the centerpieces. Brown chair sashes would look good as well.

Until I was planning my own wedding, I never really paid attention to wedding color schemes and such. I would not think a thing of attending a wedding with black and white pillows outside and then having browns inside -- different locations to me. But if you are worried, then I would ditch the pillows (ebay, craigslist?) and try to love pinks and whites and browns -- I think it could really work.

ETA -- I was typing while CrownJewel was posting. I concur!

ETA2 -- That ceremony site is gorgeous! That is something that I would definitely remember from a wedding ... I'd never think about the dishes I am eating from.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:27:58 PM
Author: Gypsy
Oh honey there are so MANY options for that venue.

I would nix the black and take a loss on the pillows. I do either brown and pink and cream/white or blue and brown and cream/white. Chair covers with colored sashes (either the pink or the blue) neutral linens, colored napkins. White/ivory flowers with pink or blue accents. Half the flower arrangements raised (either on a stand or in vases-- to block the eye line to the ''wall o'' carpet'' ) and the other half down low (to save $$). There''s TOTALLY hope.

You''re just going to have to expand your decorating budget and get creative. It''s TOTALLY workable. Trust me. If you can find cheap bolts of chiffon or tulle, swag the heck out of those window treatments and use some green (fresh greens) floral swags with white flowers wired into to make them festive. Get some lighting going in the reception room and it will be great.

Thanks Gypsy. I''m so jealous of you and everyone else with these gorgeous venues!! I told FI from the beginning that I would much prefer a smaller wedding in a nicer venue and then we could cut decorations WAY down. But those nicer venues don''t allow corkage and an open bar was top priority to FI.

Our chair covers are going to be ivory and I think you''re right, I need to incorporate brown, except I already told my two BMs that they could choose the black dress they want to wear. They have two very different body types and one doesn''t have much money so I didn''t want to force her to buy a dress she wouldn''t wear again. So, not sure what I can do about that...

hahahaha wall o carpet is so right. I''m going in on Friday to take pictures of it again to get more ideas for decorating. FI is very concerned about the budget though after the 2 dress fiasco....

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:28:25 PM
Author: hopefulheidi
I would be freaking out too if I was you. It''s hard enough to plan things, but then to find that things aren''t what you were expecting is even more disappointing.

On the upside, the view is really awesome for your ceremony site, and it looks like the outside is basically a blank slate so I''m sure you can work wonders with that.

I know you mentioned that black and white and pink were your colors and that you already have *some* black stuff but is there anyway you could maybe change your colors to white, pink and brown and use the black items for something else? With all that brown going on, I think I''d have a hard time working the black in, but perhaps some more creative people can help you out with that. I just know that pink and brown is one of those hot color combos right now and they play off each other really nicely. With all the brown and beige and even those less than perfect dishes, a pink/white/brown theme might bring it all together. The trick is just to make it seem like you planned everything to coordinate like that hehe

~Heidi

thanks Heidi Yes the outside is beautiful...I wish we could just set up a tent outside and completely avoid the inside of the hall altogether!!

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:35:04 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Yup, I agree with Gypsy. This is absolutely do-able. If you want to keep the black and white pillows outside, that''s totally fine. Black pink and white for ceremony outside, you move inside and it''s brown pink and white. It actually helps to point out the transition between ceremony and reception. And change the order for the sashes to pink. The pink will help to conceptually tie the two spaces together.

The dishes are fine! No one ever notices dishes. Everyone will be busy looking at YOU and the decor. They''ll all be drinking right?

Why would you try to rent different dishes if everyone will be too drunk to notice?

hahaha the dishes look to me like leftovers from some diner that closed in the 70s!!! Yes hopefully people will be nice and drunk, hahaha....

So you think black and white could work for outside, with brown inside instead of black? What should I do about the BM dresses? They definitely need to be either black or brown, and I need to make up my mind soon....

Ugh I was so looking forward to my black and white and pink theme!! I just need to beef up the pink....maybe the flowers in different shades of pink...light, dark, hot pink and then just touches of brown....i have a headache. The wedding is only 6 months away!!

 

[CrownJewel]

Keep the BM dresses black. You don''t want them to match/blend in the with room! You want them to stand out. Black dresses will be beautiful. I totally don''t believe in the "OH MY GOD she''s wearing black and brown together." Maybe I''m crazy but black and brown look fantastic together.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:40:25 PM
Author: turtledazzle

ETA2 -- That ceremony site is gorgeous! That is something that I would definitely remember from a wedding ... I''d never think about the dishes I am eating from.

Thanks turtle, that makes me feel better!!

When we first saw the venue I was so focused on the hideous beige popcorn ceiling. We saw the venue, then went to a family reunion in Middle of Nowhere, Saskatchewan. When we came back and it was time to decide whether to book or not, FSIL asked me if I remembered what the ceiling looked like at the family reunion. She made a good point, I don''t think I looked up at the ceiling once. So, you have a good point, as long as I try to incorporate the s*** brown from the dishes into my decor a little, probably no one will notice at all.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:43:02 PM
Author: karasue91

Date: 2/14/2008 6:27:58 PM
Author: Gypsy
Oh honey there are so MANY options for that venue.

I would nix the black and take a loss on the pillows. I do either brown and pink and cream/white or blue and brown and cream/white. Chair covers with colored sashes (either the pink or the blue) neutral linens, colored napkins. White/ivory flowers with pink or blue accents. Half the flower arrangements raised (either on a stand or in vases-- to block the eye line to the 'wall o' carpet' ) and the other half down low (to save $$). There's TOTALLY hope.

You're just going to have to expand your decorating budget and get creative. It's TOTALLY workable. Trust me. If you can find cheap bolts of chiffon or tulle, swag the heck out of those window treatments and use some green (fresh greens) floral swags with white flowers wired into to make them festive. Get some lighting going in the reception room and it will be great.

Thanks Gypsy. I'm so jealous of you and everyone else with these gorgeous venues!! I told FI from the beginning that I would much prefer a smaller wedding in a nicer venue and then we could cut decorations WAY down. But those nicer venues don't allow corkage and an open bar was top priority to FI.

Our chair covers are going to be ivory and I think you're right, I need to incorporate brown, except I already told my two BMs that they could choose the black dress they want to wear. They have two very different body types and one doesn't have much money so I didn't want to force her to buy a dress she wouldn't wear again. So, not sure what I can do about that...

hahahaha wall o carpet is so right. I'm going in on Friday to take pictures of it again to get more ideas for decorating. FI is very concerned about the budget though after the 2 dress fiasco....

Honey, I will admit that I don't have to deal with the revenge of the seventies thing you got going on (carpet on the walls

), but let me tell you about my reception hall. It's a beige brown and black conference room. Carpet is newer, but it's beige and black and SCREAMS industrial. Walls are beige. There is oakish colored faux wood panelling up to the chair rail on the walls. And there are these HUGE doors with 'wood look' formica venier. Sexy. A BLAND as heck white chandelier that was FILTHY when we did a sight visit, and high beamed ceiling which sounds lovely but the beams are too high up (like 3 feet from the ceiling) to give you a cozy look and instead draw your eyes upward to the huge blandness of beige that is the walls, broken up by those lovely doors. No window treatments, no decorative accents. I can't nail, tape, or affix ANYTHING to the walls. They'll let me decorate the beams, but oh yeah, they have no latter and the ceiling is like 30 feet up. Oh and the dance floor? Let's just say I HOPE they can buff it up or SOMETHING.

So yes, my venue is lovely on the outside, I have a gorgeous ceremony site... and the reception venue IS much newer than yours, but honey... it's just the 21st century version of your reception hall. It's all newer, but it ain't prettier.

So don't feel bad or envious. It's what I could afford. I had a choice between this and a BEAUTIFUL venue I was afraid wouldn't fit anyone, and I chose the challenge of decorating this hall (hence the centerpiece stress) instead of cramming my guests in one on top of another.

So we all make compromises, and we all learn how to make a purse out of a sows ear. It's totally do able. But that doesn't mean I don't understand the disappointment. I mourned the loss of my 'vision' for my wedding for about a week, threw out the theme I had wanted so badly, sat down to a blank slate with this reception hall as my reality, and decided to make the best of it. You will too. And what's more? After a while, you'll enjoy it. I am.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/14/2008 6:54:54 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Keep the BM dresses black. You don''t want them to match/blend in the with room! You want them to stand out. Black dresses will be beautiful. I totally don''t believe in the ''OH MY GOD she''s wearing black and brown together.'' Maybe I''m crazy but black and brown look fantastic together.

OK I''m starting to feel a little better. Now that I''ve wasted the last hour of work worrying about this...wedding planning and work do not mix well. And of course I''m an accountant and this is the busiest time of year for me, exactly the time of year when I really don''t have time to waste worrying about wedding decor!

Thanks everyone

 

[CrownJewel]

On second thought...maybe you really don''t have to incorporate brown at ALL. So the wall and the dishes are brown. As long as you use enough black...the brown won''t clash at all. Any chance you can get black or pink tablecloths or napkins?

Anyone else seeing how this could work? Or am I just nuts?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/14/2008 7:03:49 PM
Author: CrownJewel
On second thought...maybe you really don''t have to incorporate brown at ALL. So the wall and the dishes are brown. As long as you use enough black...the brown won''t clash at all. Any chance you can get black or pink tablecloths or napkins?

Anyone else seeing how this could work? Or am I just nuts?

Not nuts. But I personally wouldn''t do it. Brown is a great neutral and retro is totally in. I''d just absorb it and work with it instead of fight it. Also, I would (personally) switch the BM dress colors to brown or beige or pink. There are a lot of affordable dress options if you are only having to two attendants. Just hit some sales at Macy''s.

 

[karasue91]

Gypsy, thanks for relating, I had looked at your venue thread but I had no idea you were struggling with the same issues I am, both your choices sounded lovely.

Yep, we chose this one for the size too...I''m the type with just a few close friends and a very small family - FI is the type who makes friends wherever he goes and has a huge family!! So it''s taken time for me to accept the fact that there will be plenty of faces out there in the crowd that I don''t know and who don''t know me. And to accept the fact that I will not be having a Martha Stewart wedding, haha.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 2/14/2008 7:13:13 PM
Author: karasue91
Gypsy, thanks for relating, I had looked at your venue thread but I had no idea you were struggling with the same issues I am, both your choices sounded lovely.

Yep, we chose this one for the size too...I''m the type with just a few close friends and a very small family - FI is the type who makes friends wherever he goes and has a huge family!! So it''s taken time for me to accept the fact that there will be plenty of faces out there in the crowd that I don''t know and who don''t know me. And to accept the fact that I will not be having a Martha Stewart wedding, haha.

I went through exactly what you went through! We had originally booked a cute little Tuscany themed place. FI decided he wanted it at the country club where he used to work. Totally different style..old carpet, ugly curtains, etc! I finally had to suck it up and realize that this was the better option. There''s more room, better food, and we will get more for the money since he knows people there. We are going to make it work with chair covers, centerpieces, and candle light everywhere.

Yours is workable too! Focus on the tables. I wouldn''t worry about the dishes either!

The ceremony site is gorgeous too...so that is a huge pro!

 

[AceP]

hi karasue - i know you''re bummed, but you have to realize that no one - NO ONE - will scrutinize the place with the same critical eye that you do. really. if you use chair covers, etc., people are not going to notice the walls. just focus their attention inward. another option would be to swath the ceiling with some drapey cream fabric. just pull people''s eyes inward. and i agree that your best bet is probably to suck it up and swap out brown for black. which is a bummer, but not a huge deal. and there''s just so much available in brown and pink right now.

 

[karasue91]

Courtney and Ace - you are both right, it''s not totally unmanageable, it''s just more stressful!! When I thought that we could rent dishes, I thought if I decorated enough people wouldn''t even notice all the brown everywhere on the walls. Maybe I should have just planned on brown from the beginning after seeing the venue. And you are totally right, no one will have the same critical eye that I do, but I know those dishes will drive me crazy if I don''t try to make them somehow coordinate instead of decorating how I want in spite of them...

I''m thinking I''ll just put lots of pink and cream everywhere, maybe just change the chair cover sashes to ivory and then have mostly pink flowers with a some cream too....I''m thinking about doing those wedding cake cookie favors from martha stewart and use a brown ribbon to just add a little brown....I would love to do those curly willow branches but i have no idea how much those would cost....does anyone else? Might be a good way to incorporate some brown too?

I''m going to the place tonight to take some more pictures and get more ideas....also going to try to broach the subject of letting us have a bar set up outside for the cocktail hour. I''m pretty sure he will say no to that too, this guy is just completely inflexible. But after the ceremony I really want people to be able to just hang out in the back and have a few drinks while our stringed quartet plays...I''d rather keep the inside hall closed until it''s absolutely necessary for people to go in...

Wish me luck!!! And lots of patience....

 

[sap483]

Karasue, if you can fit it into your budget you might want to look into adding additional lighting. We''re hiring a lighting specialist to come in and add ambient and uplighting to our tent. It''s amazing how just a little bit of lighting can transform the space completely. Here''s a link to his portfolio if you want to check it out for ideas.

http://www.ormondeproductions.com/movies/lighting_port_2008_ver3.swf

 

[violet02]

Karasue, are you able to decorate the inside of the dining area on the walls and ceiling? You can get fabric to drape around those areas to make it look a LOT better. I originally wanted to get married at this beautiful hotel but the reception had to be in their ugly conference room. My planner said we could drape fabric to change the look and feel of the place. Also, are you going to use chargers under your plates? Will they let you? Chargers can add a bit of ''fanciness'' to your table. And I agree with sap, changing the lighting will make a big difference as well.

I still can''t believe they won''t let you bring in your own dishes, thats ridiculous.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 2/16/2008 2:12:37 PM
Author: violet02
Karasue, are you able to decorate the inside of the dining area on the walls and ceiling? You can get fabric to drape around those areas to make it look a LOT better. I originally wanted to get married at this beautiful hotel but the reception had to be in their ugly conference room. My planner said we could drape fabric to change the look and feel of the place. Also, are you going to use chargers under your plates? Will they let you? Chargers can add a bit of ''fanciness'' to your table. And I agree with sap, changing the lighting will make a big difference as well.

I still can''t believe they won''t let you bring in your own dishes, thats ridiculous.

I know!! This chef sounds ridiculous apparently he is the one who said no rental dishes because they are too much of a "hassle". I''m not sure what the difference is between washing the dishes owned by the hall and putting them in the crates at the end of the night, and washing the rented dishes and putting them back in their own crates at the end of the night. Also, this chef WILL NOT DO TASTINGS!!!! It''s ridiculous. If we could do it over again I would just say screw it and rent a big tent and hire out the catering, dishes, bartenders, everything.

I didn''t ask about chargers but I''m guessing that if we wanted them we would have to put them out ourselves, and I''m not sure if a fancy charger would make the 70''s diner dishes look nicer or just accentuate the crappiness of them!!

Also, no staples, nails or anything on the walls so our only option for fabric would be if we duct tape it up there. I think I just need to let go of the decor of the room itself and do my best to make the tables and flowers look nice. We are also doing a plated dinner so hopefully that will make it a big fancier so no one will be staring at the walls and ceiling in the first place.

Sap - I can''t get your link to work!! I''ll do a little searching around for some lighting companies around Calgary, although after FI found out I bought the second wedding dress he is VERY sensitive to our budget. I''ll see what I can find, thanks for the suggestion!

 

[sap483]

Karasue, try going to ormondeproductions.com and then selecting lighting. I found this company through my photographer, so you maybe yours might have some suggestions as well?