Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Do you stalk bling you can't afford/buy?

empliau

empliau

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 9, 2022
Messages
549
I have been yearning for a Buccellati bracelet for what seems like a long time, although given my age it's really not that long. Sadly, the flipside is that, given my age, it's quite a bit of what I have left! It may sound morbid, but there have been two cancer scares in the last 18 months - concerning test results that turn out to be, if not nothing, not cancer. But to wait weeks for a test to confirm or rule out cancer, as has been happening, brings mortality front and center in a BIG way.

And I am, in so many ways, a lucky person. Still, I love this one piece of bling, attainable – if I weren't paying for my kitchen and other family obligations. Do you remember the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, where Joan Crawford desperately muses on how, if it hadn't been for the accident, she wouldn't be in the wheelchair, and maybe she and her sister Bette Davis could have been friends? And Bette says, "But you *are* in that wheelchair, Blanche, you *are*!" (Quoting from memory, may not be verbatim.)

Well, the bracelet I love, is attainable. But I *am* paying off the other things. And yet...

So I have been, daily, clicking on the bracelet I love, and it has gone utterly out of stock (in my country) for the second time. They will probably eventually restock as it's a popular line, but do you gaze hopelessly at things you cannot, for the foreseeable future, buy? Am I strange for obsessing so?
 
No. Lol. Odd when I think about it. I don’t obsess over jewelry that I cannot afford. I would be in deep sh&t if I did, bc I am very impulsive and when I like a piece that is priced at what I consider to be a great deal—I pull the trigger. This way of thinking has helped me amass over one hundred pieces, which I rationalize that I can sell if I need to or to pay off an upgrade. Now. Would I be comfortable selling all my pieces to pay for one hefty purchase? No. The most expensive piece I own is my 2.9 Gia E si 1. Natural.
I can sympathize with the cancer scare. I still have PTSD. For me, it made me question all my jewelry purchases as frivolous—at first. Then, I realized that shopping for those pieces brings me joy, so I have resumed my incessant treasure hunting shamelessly.
I redid my kitchen 15 years ago! And last 4 years, my exterior—patio, house painted, roof, windows. Next up, my pool. And I am not looking forward to the headache, but financially, I like to compartmentalize my expenses. It works for me. I do get great joy in beautifying my home, however, so I am looking forward to the results of the potential pool headache.
Sometimes I fantasize about gutting my home’s interior. I have had my home since 2001 and love my neighborhood and area so I do not plan to sell. Now. I do love the new home styles and though I upgraded every room once since 2001, it would be a dream to redesign my home completely, inspired by such new homes. All this to say—enjoy your new kitchen!
 
Last edited:
No, I'm kind of like @nala. I don't really covet anything right now and have never been into branded pieces, which has probably saved me a ton of money. I'm also older and find that I wear my smaller pieces more than my larger ones. And none of those are large by PS standards. I tend now to buy or have made, pieces that are inspired by antique or vintage pieces I've seen. So I don't really stalk anything. If I see a stone, almost always an old cut, that appeals to me and the price is right, I buy it. Same goes for an antique ring. And I'm in the market for a contractor to redo a bathroom and a kitchen, but those don't affect my purchasing as my bling purchases tend to be on the less expensive side these days. And yes, enjoy your new kitchen. I'm delaying for the inconvenience. Can't imagine going through it again but will have to bite the bullet.
 
empliau said:
I have been yearning for a Buccellati bracelet for what seems like a long time, although given my age it's really not that long. Sadly, the flipside is that, given my age, it's quite a bit of what I have left! It may sound morbid, but there have been two cancer scares in the last 18 months - concerning test results that turn out to be, if not nothing, not cancer. But to wait weeks for a test to confirm or rule out cancer, as has been happening, brings mortality front and center in a BIG way.

And I am, in so many ways, a lucky person. Still, I love this one piece of bling, attainable – if I weren't paying for my kitchen and other family obligations. Do you remember the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, where Joan Crawford desperately muses on how, if it hadn't been for the accident, she wouldn't be in the wheelchair, and maybe she and her sister Bette Davis could have been friends? And Bette says, "But you *are* in that wheelchair, Blanche, you *are*!" (Quoting from memory, may not be verbatim.)

Well, the bracelet I love, is attainable. But I *am* paying off the other things. And yet...

So I have been, daily, clicking on the bracelet I love, and it has gone utterly out of stock (in my country) for the second time. They will probably eventually restock as it's a popular line, but do you gaze hopelessly at things you cannot, for the foreseeable future, buy? Am I strange for obsessing so?
Click to expand...

No, you are not strange! I think dreams are what sometimes make reality possible. I know you have mentioned the bracelet before so it is clearly something you would really like to own. Maybe it would be helpful to try to devise a plan as to when you might be able to purchase it. How long would you have to save? How long will it take to pay off your other obligations? Is there any mad money anywhere that you might tap into? While I would never encourage anyone to buy anything that they don’t reasonably think they can swing, this is clearly not a flash in the pan wish for you. Life can be short so dream and wish and plan! Sometimes those wishes run out of steam and you may one day decide you don’t want it after all. In the meantime, think about how you can make a plan and tell yourself if you really want it, you will make it happen one day! Hope springs eternal!
 
I dont really covet things I cant afford except* for big old cut stones! Having a lot of jewelry does not fit into my lifestyle.
I dont like having too much jewelry to have to choose between (too many decisions). I think I've said it more than once that I'm a minimalist. Not that I choose to be a minimalist, it's just that all the things that make life more simple for me seem to put me
in that category.

Sometimes I wish I would get more excited about things, but for me, I have learned that it tends to be a fleeting feeling. After I've
owned something for a while that feeling dissipates. Do I still love my pieces? Yes, but that excitement at getting something new
wears off. :confused2:

My post sounds like such a downer...I really am a happy person!;)2 Just the fewer pieces I have (within reason), the happier I am!=)2
 
I struggled with the feeling of coveting and wanting a lot more when I had newly joined PS and expanded my worldview of "jewellery wants" lol. But I trained myself out of it when I realised I was sapping my own joy by constantly wanting more, better etc.

I usually put a piece I love on my "love list"/"wish list" but try not to think about it until I can afford to pull the trigger. Or try and find a substitute that scratches the itch if I can.
 
I have been known to *revisit* items online that I really like. But I don't obsess over them. If I can't afford it, then I know it's not meant to be.

@empliau
"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" is one of my all time favorite movies.
I've seen it many many times!
 
I don't stalk or obsess over anything, but I admire it in that I-can-afford-it-but-that-would-be-dumb way. I rationalize any inner thoughts of ineptitude by remembering that it's all just "stuff" and there is SO much of it!

I looked up to my grandmother and loved when she showed me her jewels when I was growing up. That sense of glamour and sophistication and charm enamored me. And now I am the woman in my family with the glamour, jewels, and life that my niece and daughter aspire to. That's all I can ask for. It's never been about cost; it's always been about carriage, poise, and attitude.

ETA: @empliau I think your current Buccellati bracelet obsession doesn't have much to do with the piece itself, but the worry that you'll never have it. You've been made aware that time is short and you may not have this opportunity you really wanted, ever. That is a tough thing to confront. Jewelry is just jewelry, we know that. But life is fleeting and now you might never get the high of having that piece on your wrist and experiencing the joy of sharing it with us and the rest of your world. And that is painful!

If I were in your shoes, I would be thinking of a way to free myself or at least loosen myself from the constraints of remodeling and family things, so that I could spend less of my precious free time ruminating over a bracelet I might never get the chance to own. Where there's a will, there's a way. I really wish you the best.
 
Last edited:
One of my favourite pastime is browsing jewellery, on Lang Antiques, IG and auction sites like Christies and Sotheby, etc. etc...

They give me inspirations of what I would like to have, in the event of good fortunes come my way.

DK :))
 
Short answer: yes.

It's always antique pieces that are too rich for my budget, and I will stalk them until 1. I lose interest, 2. I get fed up that I'm mooning over something I don't need/can't afford/will never own (and maybe would never even wear), or 3. someone buys the piece.

Wash, rinse, repeat.
 
Last edited:
I don't think it's strange, mooning over something that is likely to become attainable at some point. I think it's healthy in a way. It's not like wanting the Krupp diamond.
In terms of mortality, none of us know, but spend the time loving something beautiful and wanting it.
 
I wouldn't call it "stalking", but I really love to learn about and appreciate the best of the best, of not just bling, but of everything. :kiss2:

No shame.
No guilt.
 
Last edited:
yes I understand there was a tiffany wedding band that I wanted in the worst way..couldn't afford it so I never got it...fast forward a few years, its now discontinued and I still pursue Ebay and the section on here on the chance that someone would sell one in my size...no luck...now it just seem wasteful....I never wear my jewelry much since covid became a thing...but I still want it.....
 
Generally speaking, I don't keep looking at things I can't afford. Not just bling, but anything. If it's something I might be willing to buy if there's a significant price reduction, then I may check back, but otherwise, no.

But back in 2013, I saw the cutest 3mm trillion untreated pink sapphire studs at a small independent jeweler. I loved the color, the shape, the size and felt they would be perfect for my 2nd piercing, but could not afford them at the time. Our daughter would be starting college the following year, and the price, though not huge, was nevertheless too high for my wallet. There were too many other uses for that money.

A year later we happened to be in that town again for a craft fair and we stopped into the jeweler. The studs were still there, still the same price, but I still could not buy them. Every year we went to the craft fair and every year I popped in to "visit" the earrings-- still in the showcase, the same exact pair. Finally in 2019 I had a bit more money to blow and asked the owner if she could discount them, mentioning I had been admiring them for 6 years! I guess the jeweler realized she might as well make the sale, and she knocked 10% off.
That was enough. Sold!

If I'd bought them sooner, I'd have had more years to enjoy them. Well, no matter, I am enjoying them now.
I do think that when you want a thing year after year, it may be worth the price to go ahead and get it if you can. It's hardly a whim at that point.

These are the studs:

Pink sapphire trillion studs PS.jpeg
 
I find extremely high end things interesting, especially those I don't understand.
Like, how can a purse cost 6 figures, did they pay the cow $80,000 for its leather?
Or how can a car command 5+ million dollars, did each worker get a 6-month, first class, world cruise?
How can a Pollack drip-painting (that ... sorry ... looks like a child could have made) sell for tens of millions? Were the paint pigments all made from ground up FCDs?
How can the Vatican, et al., accumulate so much money, by selling an invented idea for which there is no proof?

I seem to recall someone had a chimpanzee (keeping the "artist" 's identity secret) make paintings that a fancy gallery in Manhattan sold for big bucks.

I mean, like REALLY?????

And, how could/why did I, yes Kenny, buy a 0.1 ct red diamond instead of (at the time) spending that $36K on a new Lexus?
I strongly suspect a big part of much of this is .... well .... more money than brains. :wall::wall::wall:
No regrets about 'Little Red', BTW.

Intriguing mysteries, no?
People surely DO vary.
 
Last edited:
I often browse for fun without any intention of buying. I actually find it calming. Probably makes me extra weird but I set myself little challenges like, "the prettiest asscher you csn find for under 3k" or, "the smallest table round that still looks like an ideal RB". It's just a hobby to window shop, and something I genuinely enjoy doing when I'd otherwise just be randomly scrolling FB/IG.
 
I don’t like to upset myself by wanting what I can’t have.
I also don’t think some prices are warranted.
Instead I set myself little purchase challenges to keep me occupied and focussed. There is a lot of pleasure in researching and searching for a special piece at a special price.
 
@empliau, I have a question for you. Is it your custom that you and your husband exchange gifts for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, Mother's/Father's Day, Valentine's Day, etc?
Could the funds that would normally be allocated toward those gifts be set aside instead for the bracelet you want? Would it be worth it to you to forego receiving other gifts in order to save up for the one, big gift? Or would you feel too deprived?

My husband and I stopped giving each other the typical occasion/holiday gifts years ago. Instead we allot ourselves a specific amount per year that we can each spend on whatever we want that is not already provided for in the household budget. Any bling I want has to come out of that. It's not a lot of money, now that we are retired, but if I really wanted a bigger item, there is nothing stopping me from saving up for it. I don't do that, however. I prefer to enjoy modest pleasures more often. And my husband hardly spends any of his! He is a contented soul. (The sports car he'd want is waaay out of reach! :lol:)

Anyway, we like this approach. It frees up money for things we actually want, and reduces waste and clutter, not to mention the stress of trying to divine the perfect gift for each other, after 32 years of marriage.
 
I don’t do this because I get more of a kick out of finding something at an amazing price than looking at something out of reach. If I happen upon something that I absolutely love but it is way out of my price range I keep right on going.
 
@empliau, I’m in a similar position as you are. Things that might be attainable if only real life things didn’t stand in the way. The reno that needs doing. The new kitchen that needs to be paid. And I think that’s exactly the key word: needs, not wants. We need that house and that kitchen to live, but if we go without the jewel we want, we’ll live just as well regardless. It’s not exactly essential.

That being said, the emotional part of us has absolutely nothing in common with our rational part. It’s frustrating to be there, just out of reach; so close, yet so far. I’ve been crunching numbers myself these past few days for a jewellery purchase, so I know how that feels, to ponder over and over something, wishing for it more and more. Guilty as charged, I do it. I’m working on doing it less, to be honest.

I don’t know if this is doable for you, but I have a few thoughts that I hope might help: maybe you can do something to supplement your income? A part-time job, or something project-based/freelancing, or create and sell something? Anything to help you reach your goal faster, if that’s what you really want.

At the end of the day, I think that it’s important to remember is that there are other things in life that make us happy. If we can’t afford that jewel, we can go out and garden. Read a book. Meet our friends. Enjoy life, as it is, while doing what we can to give ourselves what we want.
 
empliau said:
I have been yearning for a Buccellati bracelet for what seems like a long time, although given my age it's really not that long. Sadly, the flipside is that, given my age, it's quite a bit of what I have left! It may sound morbid, but there have been two cancer scares in the last 18 months - concerning test results that turn out to be, if not nothing, not cancer. But to wait weeks for a test to confirm or rule out cancer, as has been happening, brings mortality front and center in a BIG way.

And I am, in so many ways, a lucky person. Still, I love this one piece of bling, attainable – if I weren't paying for my kitchen and other family obligations. Do you remember the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, where Joan Crawford desperately muses on how, if it hadn't been for the accident, she wouldn't be in the wheelchair, and maybe she and her sister Bette Davis could have been friends? And Bette says, "But you *are* in that wheelchair, Blanche, you *are*!" (Quoting from memory, may not be verbatim.)

Well, the bracelet I love, is attainable. But I *am* paying off the other things. And yet...

So I have been, daily, clicking on the bracelet I love, and it has gone utterly out of stock (in my country) for the second time. They will probably eventually restock as it's a popular line, but do you gaze hopelessly at things you cannot, for the foreseeable future, buy? Am I strange for obsessing so?
Click to expand...

i do stalk the ladies of the royal family ......
do we need pictures ???

but im never ever going to be able to afford something like this
1720652233625.jpeg
but i get all giggly like a school girl when i see Queen Camila wear it !!!
1720652262919.png
www.tatler.com

The fascinating history of the Queen’s Cullinan V diamond brooch

The monarch wears the jewel in the new image released for Prince Philip’s 99th birthday
www.tatler.com www.tatler.com

also i hang out here !
we have a fixer upper house, Gary is retired and not in the best health, i only work part time with a bung knee ....it seems every appliance major and minor in this house needs replaced

so right now i couldn't afford most of what i admire here
but its pretty and i get much much pleasure from looking at it and reading their stories
Personally im down grading my wish list to all thinks silver just so its till some- what achievable n the medium term

sometimes when its really late and i cant sleep i think about what i would do about jewels if i was the Duchess of Edinburgh, Sophie the lovely wife of Prince Edward who has very modest (In comparison to say Princess Anne or what Princess Catherine has access to ) aqua pieces
i do like greenish aquas and this piece converts to a necklace but often in the past when TRH's represented the BRF at Euro royal weddings she looks like the poor relation
1720653818874.png

When still the Crown Princess, Mary of Denmark brought her self a tiara at auction for €8,050 (possibly a gazzilion dollars in NZ money), an Edwardian necklace that converts to a tiara (The Daily Mail called Mary thrifty)
1720653250996.png
but you know i dont wear my nice jewellery now, where on earth would i wear a tiara ?
but as the necklace .........
 
Last edited:
Daisys and Diamonds said:
i do stalk the ladies of the royal family ......
do we need pictures ???

but im never ever going to be able to afford something like this
1720652233625.jpeg
but i get all giggly like a school girl when i see Queen Camila wear it !!!
1720652262919.png
www.tatler.com

The fascinating history of the Queen’s Cullinan V diamond brooch

The monarch wears the jewel in the new image released for Prince Philip’s 99th birthday
www.tatler.com www.tatler.com

also i hang out here !
we have a fixer upper house, Gary is retired and not in the best health, i only work part time with a bung knee ....it seems every appliance major and minor in this house needs replaced

so right now i couldn't afford most of what i admire here
but its pretty and i get much much pleasure from looking at it and reading their stories
Personally im down grading my wish list to all thinks silver just so its till some- what achievable n the medium term

sometimes when its really late and i cant sleep i think about what i would do about jewels if i was the Duchess of Edinburgh, Sophie the lovely wife of Prince Edward who has very modest (In comparison to say Princess Anne or what Princess Catherine has access to ) aqua pieces
i do like greenish aquas and this piece converts to a necklace but often in the past when TRH's represented the BRF at Euro royal weddings she looks like the poor relation
1720653818874.png

When still the Crown Princess, Mary of Denmark brought her self a tiara at auction for €8,050 (possibly a gazzilion dollars in NZ money), an Edwardian necklace that converts to a tiara (The Daily Mail called Mary thrifty)
1720653250996.png
but you know i dont wear my nice jewellery now, where on earth would i wear a tiara ?
but as the necklace .........
Click to expand...

Can you imagine having to keep up with royalty? Even if you yourself don’t care, it’s kind of your “job.”
 
oncrutchesrightnow said:
Can you imagine having to keep up with royalty? Even if you yourself don’t care, it’s kind of your “job.”
Click to expand...

yes and with thousands if not million of jewllery lovers like me critiquing your every choice
in my defence clothes, shoes and bags arnt my thing
i do feel a bit sorry for those who are not married to the heir, like Sophie and durring her time also Sarah, they do not have the same access to the jewels nor do their husbands have the same kind of wealth as those in the direct line of succession, poor Fergie was given such a hard time constantly compaired to Diana, and im thinking just like regular men, royal men really have no real idea of what nice appropreate outfits cost, Fergie was a navy wife
but as we say comparrsison is the robber of joy and i dont think Sophie has the love for jewllery that say Queen Maxima has
And then you have the English tabloids pricing out everything you wear down to your lippy and nail polish -actually another good reason not to wear named brands (looking at you Queen Camila even if all that VC&A were gifts from your own family)
Or you have to be like the Queen of Spian and really pare back your look and leave all the good stuff in the vault so as not to stir up trouble in harder finacial times by just wearing earrings
it must be a mind field
i must say i would rather they all wore the priceless treasures in their respectful vaults than go out and buy new high street or worse overpriced costume jewlerry that to me seems a waste of money when you have the good stuff back at home (Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden, Queen Maxima of the Netherlands and the Princess of Wales all do this)
i just want to see more brooches !
i miss the late Queens' brooches and seeing which one she wore to church
 
No...there is no fun shopping in places I cannot truly afford.

When it comes to shopping, I lack willpower...so for those things that I can afford but can't justify, avoidance is the only solution. If I keep looking at it something, it's just a matter of time. Having experienced the PS effect with colored stones, I hardly venture into the other bling forums. It would create a monster.
\
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top