Dreading wedding shower

[nclrgirl]

My FMIL is throwing me, FI, FI''s brother, and FI''s brother''s future wife (FSIL) a joint wedding shower on Saturday. It was originally going to be for us to meet FMIL''s friends. Fun, right? Except there is dislike between FMIL and FSIL, and FSIL is always trying to "compete" with me.

FSIL invited a bunch of her friends and family, which I did not feel right about doing (because FMIL''s friends are paying and I don''t know them). I''m just nervous because there''s always some drama, we''ll all be staying with FMIL for the weekend, and FI and I, since we live in different cities, haven''t had much alone just hanging out couple time in the last few weekends (going to other weddings, etc). Plus, I feel like since I didn''t invite a bunch of guests, it is really FSIL''s shower and will be awkward for me.

Anyone have any advice on how I can make it through the weekend without a breakdown!? Thank you!

 

[dragonfly411]

I would call FMIL and ask whether it would be ok to bring a few friends, and maybe offer for them to help chip in? Then you look like you are giving back for what you are asking of her. I would not let FSIL affect you with her competitiveness. It sounds like you and your FMIL are comfortable with each other, and you know how she feels about things, and FSIL doesn''t. I would think FMIL will be introducing you to her friends first because of this, and this will throw off that competitiveness in FSIL. Go and have fun, and don''t let her cause any drama for you.

 

[sumbride]

that sounds just dreadful! Maybe a stiff drink before walking through the door? And I agree with dragonfly! See if you can bring some friends as a buffer.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 4/9/2008 1:08:15 PM
Author: dragonfly411
I would call FMIL and ask whether it would be ok to bring a few friends, and maybe offer for them to help chip in? Then you look like you are giving back for what you are asking of her. I would not let FSIL affect you with her competitiveness. It sounds like you and your FMIL are comfortable with each other, and you know how she feels about things, and FSIL doesn''t. I would think FMIL will be introducing you to her friends first because of this, and this will throw off that competitiveness in FSIL. Go and have fun, and don''t let her cause any drama for you.

Ditto! FSIL needs to grow up, don''t let her ruin things for you.

 

[onvacation]

Date: 4/9/2008 8:26:44 AM
Author:nclrgirl
My FMIL is throwing me, FI, FI''s brother, and FI''s brother''s future wife (FSIL) a joint wedding shower on Saturday. It was originally going to be for us to meet FMIL''s friends. Fun, right? Except there is dislike between FMIL and FSIL, and FSIL is always trying to ''compete'' with me.

FSIL invited a bunch of her friends and family, which I did not feel right about doing (because FMIL''s friends are paying and I don''t know them). I''m just nervous because there''s always some drama, we''ll all be staying with FMIL for the weekend, and FI and I, since we live in different cities, haven''t had much alone just hanging out couple time in the last few weekends (going to other weddings, etc). Plus, I feel like since I didn''t invite a bunch of guests, it is really FSIL''s shower and will be awkward for me.

Anyone have any advice on how I can make it through the weekend without a breakdown!? Thank you!

I''m not very familiar with shower etiquette, but does anyone else besides me find this really weird/rude? I mean, did she even ask your FMIL if she can invite people?

Get tight with the FMIL and her friends, I say, while being curtly civil with the FSIL, and the FSIL and her friends will be feeling the cold soon enough! Win-win for you.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 4/9/2008 1:25:23 PM
Author: onvacation

Date: 4/9/2008 8:26:44 AM

Author:nclrgirl

My FMIL is throwing me, FI, FI''s brother, and FI''s brother''s future wife (FSIL) a joint wedding shower on Saturday. It was originally going to be for us to meet FMIL''s friends. Fun, right? Except there is dislike between FMIL and FSIL, and FSIL is always trying to ''compete'' with me.


FSIL invited a bunch of her friends and family, which I did not feel right about doing (because FMIL''s friends are paying and I don''t know them). I''m just nervous because there''s always some drama, we''ll all be staying with FMIL for the weekend, and FI and I, since we live in different cities, haven''t had much alone just hanging out couple time in the last few weekends (going to other weddings, etc). Plus, I feel like since I didn''t invite a bunch of guests, it is really FSIL''s shower and will be awkward for me.


Anyone have any advice on how I can make it through the weekend without a breakdown!? Thank you!

I''m not very familiar with shower etiquette, but does anyone else besides me find this really weird/rude? I mean, did she even ask your FMIL if she can invite people?


Get tight with the FMIL and her friends, I say, while being curtly civil with the FSIL, and the FSIL and her friends will be feeling the cold soon enough! Win-win for you.

Yeah I think it was really rude, personally. Hope that doesn''t offend anyone, but it looks to me like FSIL is trying to turn it into her shower.