Engagement Party?

[SarahLovesJS]

I was just wondering did you have one and if you did how many people did you have? Also, if you don''t feel it''s too personal how much did you/your family spend? We are thinking about having a small one with just our close family, but I am not sure how much we should invest. I really want to do it at The Melting Pot, buuuut that''s not cheap to say the least.

So far I bought these to use as engagement party invites, they are blank. I just thought it''d be fun to send a little thing inviting people. http://www.whiteaisle.com/cherry_blossom_note_cards.htm

 

[bee*]

We didn''t have one. The day after we got back from Barcelona we went to the pub with all our friends which kind of turned into a party as there were over fifty people there, but it didn''t cost us anything. I think by the end of the night I had about three drinks at each table as people bought us so many drinks-the next day wasn''t fun

 

[gtn]

We didn''t have an engagement party, but my friend did. Her parent''s paid for the party as well as her wedding, so she ended up getting gifts for the e-party, b-shower, and wedding. If you are paying for it, I wouldn''t waste your money, it could get expensive. Better to spend that money on your wedding, but if someone wants to throw you one. I wouldn''t fight it.

 

[Independent Gal]

We didn't have one. However, a few friends took us out for a drink here and there.

I think it is possible to exhaust people by demanding too much money / attention / presents from them. So unless your wedding is years away, I'd just keep it simple and not bother. Or invite your nearest and dearest over for a drink at your place? Or out to the pub like bee did?

 

[violet02]

My 'man of honor' threw me one. I bought cupcakes, made frosted heart cookies and bought decorations as well as made a super cool cupcake stand. It was close to v-day so I had lots of fun heart decorations to work with. We spent about $3-400 of our own money on all that. My FI picked up a bunch of balloons as well. Our friends brought hard alcohol, champagne and oysters. My DJ friend set up his equipment and dj'ed the party (it was at the man of honors house). My 'man of honor' bought tons of beer, chips and water. I used evite for my invitations. There were about 50 people there, and plenty to go around! It was very fun. I could have probably spent way less money but I wanted things to look really fun. Evite was a simple informal way to do invites as well. We didn't feel the need to be formal about it. There's always the wedding shower later on to get more formal about. We said no gifts but we got a couple of gift cards anyways. Since it was a house party it was more informal.

 

[Independent Gal]

Yes, yes. Think informal, like violet said. And ban gifts. Then it''s just an excuse to throw a fun party for your friends! No one resents that.

 

[musey]

We didn''t/haven''t, but my mom is toying with the idea of having one this summer (umm, 1.5 years AFTER the proposal and 3 months BEFORE the wedding...

).

She''s thinking of inviting only family (extended to first cousins) on both sides, which I think comes to about 45-50 people. It would be in their house, and probably wouldn''t cost over $500. Very casual.

They''re also throwing a hometown reception a month or two after the wedding, same format.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 2/21/2008 6:47:10 PM
Author: Independent Gal
We didn''t have one. However, a few friends took us out for a drink here and there.


I think it is possible to exhaust people by demanding too much money / attention / presents from them. So unless your wedding is years away, I''d just keep it simple and not bother. Or invite your nearest and dearest over for a drink at your place? Or out to the pub like bee did?

Actually, haha. The wedding is about 2 years away. And definitely no gift. I was thinking it''d be fun to just let our families get to know each other. My Grandmother''s never met his family since they live so far apart.

 

[goldenstar]

We had one and it was incredibly fun! We had maybe 40- 50 people at my mom''s house. We split the cost with her. We had it catered and bought a bunch of flowers for decor. I''m not sure about the total cost, maybe $1000 to $1,500? That is a total guesstimate.

We did not want or expect gifts but a few people brought some anyway. It was a total surprise.

It was one of the most memorable and fun events of my life. I''m so glad we did it. FI''s family and mine got along great and everyone had a good time.

 

[CrownJewel]

No e-party but we had a few mini-celebrations with our close friends.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Just wanted to update: I didn''t get my notecards because after I ordered them they told me they were sold out.

Anyone else have this experience with White Aisle? I know they are a smaller company.

 

[zoebartlett]

We didn''t have an engagement party. I''m having two showers though -- one of my mom''s friends is doing one and my FMIL and FSsIL are doing the other. I''ve only actually been to two engagement parties. One of them was hosted by my friend''s dad and it was held in a swanky dark paneled library type place, and other one was hosted by my friend''s FI''s parents. This one was at his parents'' house and it was very casual.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

We had an engagement party. We had our party in November, and were married the following July. My parents hosted it, and the total (including a caterer, bartenders, white-glove servers, event coordinator, decor, flowers, panio player, and a late-night DJ ect...) was around $12,000. It was a cocktail party, more or less, and it was a blast!!

Gifts for an engagement party are NOT required, and we didn't register or request anything. However, we did get some small gifts like a scrapbook, picture frames (including a lovely waterford one that holds our engagement photo), wine, knick-knacks, photo albums, a few hundred dollars, a waterford ring holder, cook books and other little sentimental gifts that meant the world to us because they were done simply out of the goodness of our friends and families hearts!

I think IF you have an e-party, it does set the tone for the wedding. It is a way for people to celebrate the start of your life together as you transition into marriage!

Plus, any excuse to have a party is a good idea, to me at least!

ETA: sorry, just checked my spreadsheet...it was closer to $20,000 (as you can now see, I am NOT good with money...hence my spread sheet!)

 

[Courtneylub]

So embarassed to admit that I agreed to this, but we''re having a WhiteTrash themed Crawfish Boil Engagement Party. Our friends are hosting it for us and the invitation will say something like "Since we''re having our lavish country club wedding this summer, we thought we''d balance it out by having a white trash bash." We''re just that kind of laid back type, so it will be a blast. We want to make a twinkie and ding dong cake, hook up our karaoke machine, put some blow up kiddie pools outside, etc. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

 

[Courtneylub]

Haha and compare it to the post above mine! LOL

 

[emilina22]

we''re having one and its a bit of a big deal in our culture, everyone has one and they are HIGE. so far our guest list is at 200 but we NEED to make a third cut soon. ummm yea we are having a sit down dinner party at our church cause its really the only open space which i can transform to look how i really want (were building an indoor tent contraption with pipe and drape and extra fabric) and yea its a big deal in our culture to have these because the pastor prays for you and your FI and your journey as an engaged couple..its sweet but its a hectic day. were still debating over caterers and we finalized the date AUGUST 16th!! which is awesome but yea...

how much were spending well.. with about 175 people or so were paying about 20 a head and then we need to include all the rentals, and the decorations, and all the little things i have no clue how much it will all turn out but mom and dad have very kindly offered to pay for half!!! usually your engagement party turns out to cost about half your wedding IN OUR CRAZY CULTURE!!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 2/28/2008 10:26:47 AM
Author: Courtneylub
So embarassed to admit that I agreed to this, but we're having a WhiteTrash themed Crawfish Boil Engagement Party. Our friends are hosting it for us and the invitation will say something like 'Since we're having our lavish country club wedding this summer, we thought we'd balance it out by having a white trash bash.' We're just that kind of laid back type, so it will be a blast. We want to make a twinkie and ding dong cake, hook up our karaoke machine, put some blow up kiddie pools outside, etc. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

Haha I love it!

Sounds fun to me, no reason to be embarrassed. I don't want a huge engagement party. I was thinking more like we invite everyone to a nice restaurant and pay for it..and by everyone I mean like 10 people. Haha. I really want to go to The Melting Pot, but it's pretty expensive for a lot of people. I know people would love it though. I guess we could do Morton's also. Also thinking about somewhere less expensive/smaller like Carrabbas.

ETA: Not to offend anyone that had or is having a huge engagement party! That's just not us.

 

[Haven]

Gifts are not generally given at engagement parties, anyway, so no worries there. (This is because an engagement party used to be a get-together when the father of the bride-to-be made an unexpected announcement about the engagement--you can''t bring a gift if you don''t know about the engagement before you attend the party!)

We did not have an engagement party, but our families and close friends organized an impromptu dinner the evening after we were engaged.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 2/28/2008 2:37:31 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS

Date: 2/28/2008 10:26:47 AM
Author: Courtneylub
So embarassed to admit that I agreed to this, but we''re having a WhiteTrash themed Crawfish Boil Engagement Party. Our friends are hosting it for us and the invitation will say something like ''Since we''re having our lavish country club wedding this summer, we thought we''d balance it out by having a white trash bash.'' We''re just that kind of laid back type, so it will be a blast. We want to make a twinkie and ding dong cake, hook up our karaoke machine, put some blow up kiddie pools outside, etc. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

Haha I love it!

Sounds fun to me, no reason to be embarrassed. I don''t want a huge engagement party. I was thinking more like we invite everyone to a nice restaurant and pay for it..and by everyone I mean like 10 people. Haha. I really want to go to The Melting Pot, but it''s pretty expensive for a lot of people. I know people would love it though. I guess we could do Morton''s also. Also thinking about somewhere less expensive/smaller like Carrabbas.

ETA: Not to offend anyone that had or is having a huge engagement party! That''s just not us.

The Melting Pot may have some packages for a party that size if you call and ask. I''m going there on Tuesday for a Ladies Fondue Night. Yum!

 

[sunnyd]

Courtney that sounds like so much fun!!! I might have to copy you when the time comes, our friends would totally love it! LOL!!

 

[v!v!]

hi sarahlovesjs!! we did have an engagement party, but it was our close friends that threw the party for us! they held it at their house and i''d have to say that there were close to 50-60 people there. we just had our friends and close family that live in the same state. i''m not quite sure how much money it was, but they provided all the food and alcohol and with the way our friends drink, that part wasn''t cheap! (haha)

it was definitely a night to remember and so much fun! if you can find room for it in the budget, i''d say go for it!!

 

[Pandora II]

We hired the private room in a local bar on Valentine''s 2007, it was also our 2.5 year "semiversary".

It was really nice as loads of our friends dropped in either before or after going to celebrate Valentines, and all our friends who didn''t have an SO or a date had something to do that night instead of drowning their lonely sorrows in front of the TV, or hiding at the cinema to escape some unwanted admirer (I had to do that once as I was scared this guy would find out I wasn''t going out on Valentine''s and I''d turned him down!

)

Gifts weren''t expected, although we did get a few bottles of champagne and some nice chocolates.

I think the room hire was $100 and then we put $200 behind the bar and bought some nibbles.

As it was so far before our wedding we just invited everyone we know in London - my brother came, but no other family were invited. We''re holding a similar event on 08/08/08 as our London wedding party - but at a bigger venue in the centre - there is a $4k minimum spend for that one.