Forgetting about the ceremony?

[zoebartlett]

Is anyone else so focused on other aspects of planning that the most important part, the ceremony, keeps getting pushed to the side? THIS is what the wedding day SHOULD be about, yet it's often the first thing that I put off dealing with because I have other, more fun, things to take care of. I can't be the only one, can I?

We're meeting with our officiant (our new one) in a couple of weeks, and she has stated that we will plan the entire ceremony in an hour's time. I highly doubt that but we'll see. Way back when we had our first officiant, she provided us with a list of menu choices for different components of the ceremonies she typically does. Luckily, before she cancelled on us, we HAD gone through her menu and roughly picked what we liked. So I guess we have SOME idea of what we want, but it's been so long that we've looked at it, that I kind of forget what we had tentatively agreed upon.

It's funny, the ceremony of uniting two people is what the day's all about but I've never heard anyone put that much thought into it. It's as if everyone's so focused on the party afterwards.

What are your thoughts?

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Zoe- i hear what you''re saying. I guess for us, it kinda went "by the wayside" as it was one of the first things we tackled. DH and I put together our ceremony from a template that our officiant provided. We added special elements here and there to not make it so cookie-cutter, like a wine ceremony (it was fitting as we were married at a winery!) and a song- "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler (from the Wedding Singer). We put a lot of time and thought into the ceremony, but once we were done with it, we moved on and didn''t really look back

 

[rockzilla]

I do seem to see that I lot - for us, it is a very important part, and really a deciding factor in a lot of our decisions. We want to have the ceremony in some type of chapel or church (non-denominational is fine, but this is just our preference) So, we are first looking for beautiful chapels, and then we are looking for spectacular reception locations nearby.

One part of it is that the reception just takes SO much more coordination...and it seems a lot of times now, people do it at the same site and it is just tacked on. But I think it is a big deal...it is going to be an emotional decision deciding on an officient, some people see it almost the same as geting something notarized, but I think that depends on civil vs. religious vs. spiritual.

 

[becoming_sadie]

Our ceremony is not changeable to any degree so I am of no help to you here. But a friend of mine had her wedding opened with a story of how they met, then there were readings from friends and both fathers about love, marriage, commitment. Then there was "I pronounce you man and wife". Very simple and sweet. Hope this helps a little.

 

[tberube]

The ceremony is so easy to plan, compared to everything else...those decisions can be made either right in the beginning or right toward the end. The ceremony is sweet and simple...and I think that''s rather fitting, don''t you?

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/3/2008 5:51:31 PM
Author: tberube
The ceremony is so easy to plan, compared to everything else...those decisions can be made either right in the beginning or right toward the end. The ceremony is sweet and simple...and I think that''s rather fitting, don''t you?

Oooh, that''s a good way to describe it T! Not to mention, I think unless you''re getting married in the Church (or Synagogue), ceremonies nowadays tend to be 30 minutes or under. So yeah, I can see where it wouldn''t take so long to plan. I just keep thinking it''s like, "let''s party, and oh yeah, we''ll get married too," almost as an afterthought. Which we all know is not the case but you know what I mean. Hopefully.

 

[Gypsy]

I'm just adding ceremony flowers into our budget/qoute from Florists now. The rest is pretty much easy. I have the readings picked out. We still need one reader, but John will chose that person once the RSVP's come in. His uncle is our officiant. The venue is dealing with all the set up. Short sweet and easy!

 

[TravelingGal]

I actually spent the most time envisioning the ceremony and planning it, as it was the most important part to me. We had the traditional vows, but each wrote our own speeches to say beforehand. I also rewrote the lyrics to "Somewhere over the rainbow/It''s a wonderful world" so it would fit our wedding and found someone who could sing it for us while playing the ukelele.

When I pictured my wedding, it was the ceremony I thought of most and it is still what I remember best.

 

[Octavia]

The ceremony is extremely important to me, but I'm having trouble finding an officiant. I've been doing lots of searches online and all I'm coming up with are nondenominational ministers, but FI and I would much prefer a justice of the peace or a judge (we're technically of different religions, and both severely lapsed with no desire to go back). Some of the officiants I've found will do civil ceremonies, but it still makes me uncomfortable. And info about JPs around here is nowhere to be found. In our state, only public officials and ordained ministers with a "regularly established place of worship and congregation" can legally perform wedding ceremonies, so having a friend/family member do it is out...unless the pending lawsuit against the state comes out favorably, but I'm not holding my breath.

I'm sure that if we sit down with some officiants and discuss what we want, we'll find someone who works for us...it's just sort of stressful at this point. Fortunately, we've got lots of time.

 

[largirl]

Hey, you guys who are talking about templates....we''re having my FI''s uncle perform the ceremony (or at least that''s the idea, we haven''t asked him yet and won''t until FI gets back in town in two weeks). I have some readings that I love, but I''m having a hard time finding a template/example of a ceremony from start to finish. Does anyone have any good links?