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getting lost in stupid stuff

Yikes! I'm definitely stressing out on this wedding planning stuff. First, I kind of think I'm missing the bridal gene and my well meaning future in laws and relatives are making me a little crazy. There are so many small things that I haven't thought about. This past week, my fmil's sister (SO's aunt) yelled and reamed me out on the phone (yes I'm planning long distance) about...cupcakes....the next day, my fmil and his sister called to apologize on behalf of the aunt. Invites haven't been sent out, and the wedding is in 2 months...not to mention there were no STDs or anything like that because he wanted a short engagement. Also, my idea of a small wedding has gone out the window...there are 238 invited guests and I get heart palpitations looking at the list. I've never wanted a big wedding but, he has a big family and lots of friends plus cousins. Pretty much the idea of getting up and saying I DO with a bunch of strangers looking on is making me really nervous. I haven't shared that fear with my SO or my future in laws, my mom says I'm being silly and its wedding jitters. I think I really need a professional and detached 3rd party to step in.

Have you ladies experienced any of this or am I just cuckoo? I hope you guys will share any and all stories.
 
gammygam- Sorry to say that I don't have any pearls of wisdom or advice to give you, but HUGS!!! I can totally understand why you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious about your big guest list; I never wanted a large wedding either, and if I was forced into one I'd probably have a heart attack. My wedding will only have 18 guests, plus FI and myself, so we're keeping it super low-key. I also lack the bridal gene but luckily so far everyone has been chill and not really bothered me too much about stuff.

Anyway, we're here if you need to vent!! Best of luck! :wavey:
 
gammygam|1344662551|3249625 said:
Yikes! I'm definitely stressing out on this wedding planning stuff. First, I kind of think I'm missing the bridal gene and my well meaning future in laws and relatives are making me a little crazy. There are so many small things that I haven't thought about. This past week, my fmil's sister (SO's aunt) yelled and reamed me out on the phone (yes I'm planning long distance) about...cupcakes....the next day, my fmil and his sister called to apologize on behalf of the aunt. Invites haven't been sent out, and the wedding is in 2 months...not to mention there were no STDs or anything like that because he wanted a short engagement. Also, my idea of a small wedding has gone out the window...there are 238 invited guests and I get heart palpitations looking at the list. I've never wanted a big wedding but, he has a big family and lots of friends plus cousins. Pretty much the idea of getting up and saying I DO with a bunch of strangers looking on is making me really nervous. I haven't shared that fear with my SO or my future in laws, my mom says I'm being silly and its wedding jitters. I think I really need a professional and detached 3rd party to step in.

Have you ladies experienced any of this or am I just cuckoo? I hope you guys will share any and all stories.
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Oh goodness! We didn't do STD's either, but if I were you I would send out invites tomorrow lol...you want to make sure you have the total headcount with plenty of time to spare, so put a deadline on the invite about 3-4 weeks before the wedding. When is your actual date?

I totally understand wanting a smaller wedding and ending up with around 240 on the list...that was me! I thought 150 sounded perfectly, but when both Mom's added to the list, it got a little crazy!

I'm sorry you're getting hounded by family, but I'm sure they just want to make sure that you're allowing enough time for everything to get done. Have you booked anything yet?
 
Deep breaths, gammygam! You will make it. The pressure from family and friends can be so hard to bear. But I think it will all be worth it in the end. You get to marry the love of your life, right? Where are you in terms of planning? Is there a reason the invitations aren't ready yet? Anything we can help you with?
 
Hi ladies! Glad to see some talk going on, the last time I checked out BWW there wasn't too much conversation! I am getting married in 50, yes 50, days!

This is a second wedding for both of us, so it is quite small. Just the two of us, my parents (his are gone) and the dog. I am glad it is small, although I feel like some people can't believe I didn't want to invite at least a handful of people. My first wedding was about 90 and there were a bunch of people I didn't know and/or even want there. I didn't really appreciate having to share my special day with people that I wouldn't even stop to say hello in the street to (some of ex MIL's friends). I would say to just focus on the two of you and the special people and don't get worried about all the extra people, gammygam! Try to block it out and not let the negativity or stress impact you!

Personally, I am having a shoe debacle. Just having a hard time finding a pair I like. My first wedding was a Vera Wang gown and shoes. Super expensive and of course, never worn again. I thought i wanted blue shoes, but I originally went with a short dress than randomly fell in love with a long dress, so I switched it up. I have ordered about 10 pairs and I am waiting for the last four to come in. So far, I only have one maybe! But I can't get my dress shortened until I have the shoes!

My FI doesn't really see what any type of fuss is about. He is very low key so I need to do all my researching, stressing, etc when he can't see it. He doesn't get that all those little perfect details a. Cost $$ b. Take time to figure out c. Really take a small little dinner from a dinner to a wedding celebration! So I just decided to throw it all together the way I want to with mini input from him and that's it!

Glad to hear that things are going well for everyone!!!
 
Phdecorate, wow, your wedding is coming up so soon! I hear you on the hiding the stress and crazy researching from the FI. I spent HOURS last night playing with RGB and CMYK values in Photoshop to find THE PERFECT COLOR for our wedding stationary, and FI was all "does this really matter? I can't see the difference between the last four colors you test-printed. They all look the same. Maybe you should take a break?" Haha, what does he know. Color matters! But I was maybe just a little crazy... oops.

This is FI's second wedding, but my first. I think it is causing some awkwardness for us, because he already had a big fancy wedding, and would probably be happy with something low key. But I have an enormous family and big princess dress dreams. FI has said from the beginning that he wants this to be bigger and better than his first wedding (since our relationship is already much better than his first marriage!), and has been sweet and supportive throughout the planning. But sometimes I suspect that he'd rather just get it over with. I am trying to involve him in the decision-making as much as possible, and I really hope it will be as wonderful a day for him as it will be for me.

What shoes are you deciding between? Maybe we can help? My shoes arrived yesterday and WOW are they sparkly! I hope I haven't gone overboard....princess dress, sparkly cathedral veil, mega sparkly shoes... at least I'm not wearing a tiara? I think I just have to own it and love it. Sometimes it all feels too pretty for me, like I don't deserve it all. Have I gone completely crazy?
 
Ph- Which shoes did you end up ordering? Let us help you!!

blacksand- Definitely not crazy, don't think that! You've been dreaming of this day for a long time and no matter how big and pretty and sparkly everything is, YOU DESERVE IT!!!

My FI is just like both of yours in that the details escape him. I'll ask him if he has preferences between this vs. that, and the response I invariably get is "does it matter?" Boys. :rolleyes:


I'd love to see everyone's shoes! Here are mine:

file.jpg

My dress is ivory so I thought gold would look nice, and it does. I also wanted a heel, but nothing TOO high because FI is only like 3" taller than me and I don't want to be taller than him on our wedding day. Usually, though, I prefer to rock 4"+ for special occasions. Oh well! These still feel like princess shoes to me. :)
 
star sparkle|1344963699|3251339 said:
Ph-


I'd love to see everyone's shoes! Here are mine:

file.jpg

My dress is ivory so I thought gold would look nice, and it does. I also wanted a heel, but nothing TOO high because FI is only like 3" taller than me and I don't want to be taller than him on our wedding day. Usually, though, I prefer to rock 4"+ for special occasions. Oh well! These still feel like princess shoes to me. :)
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Loving the shoes and they will go great with ivory! I'm actually not wearing any shoes lol
 
I love the gold shoes! Those are drop dead gorgeous.

These are mine (on my ugly feet, sorry to those with delicate sensibilities!).

photo-2_7.jpg
 
Loving those shoes, Blacksand! I tell you, while I'm happy about my choice in not wearing shoes, I think I might need a new fabulous pair for surviving wedding planning lol
 
Love those shoes, ladies! I finally picked a pair! After all my hunting and thinking about blue shoes, silver shoes, even yellow, I am going with a true bridal look..ivory! I can't post a pic from my iPad, but here is the link:

http://www.shoebuy.com/benjamin-adams-london-neve/414423

They are comfortable, flattering to the foot and they go well with my dress, which is Ivory (strapless, long lace and tulle). Second time around frees it up a bit. It is actually a BCBG dress and needs to have a liner put in because it is basically see thru! Lol!

All I need now is to decide on earrings. I was thinking of a statement necklace, but I decided I would rather just earrings. Deciding between splurging on a pair of David Yurmans with blue topaz (there are a bunch I like) or something more costumey.

Luckily we don't need invites, but I am still working on menu cards and place cards, etc. Have you all seen the movie, Wedding Crashers? We are having our wedding at the same place as in the movie! Even though it is just four of us, we will be in the private dining room, instead of the main dining room with the other Inn guests. That is good and bad -- much more room to be creative and have more decorations!

I am also trying to work on my vows and make my photographer choice. FI and I are not agreeing on that one! Err...
 
Love the ivory shoes! Benjamin Adams is great. My shoes are Benjamin Adams, too.

How cool that you're getting married where Wedding Crashers took place! Hey, who knows, maybe you'll have a few more [surprise] guests than you think! Since you're having such a small affair, are you planning to just do dinner, or will there be dancing, etc.? Good luck picking a photographer and writing your vows!

We're having trouble finding a DJ. That's one of the few jobs I assigned my fiance, and he has contacted four or five people. He's not getting any replies, which is strange. No one wants our business, apparently. I'm concerned about the DJ because I'm a little picky. I have a few specific songs or specific versions of songs that I really want played at particular moments. Some of the DJs we've checked out online seem to only play songs from their set lists, and say they can't accommodate special requests outside of those lists. I'm wondering if I can just give the DJ some of the songs I want played? I really don't like the idea of spending so much money only to hear a bunch of songs the DJ picked out, and not the ones I wanted. Anyone know how this works?
 
Well, my first marriage we had a DJ. We went over all of the important songs....intros, first dances, cake cutting, etc. We also discussed the ones we definitely wanted to hear and the ones that we didn't. For example, I absolutely hate the electric slide and I did not want him playing it. But several people requested it, but before he would agree, he actually asked me what I wanted to do (I let him play it). I know someone who DJs on the side and he always asks for a list of what you want.

We are getting to the Inn the day before. Our ceremony is going to be about 5pm in the garden. We'll do a champagne toast outside after that and take the pics. Dinner will be about 7 and we have the room until 10. So we will stage the cake cutting before the photog leaves, then we will have a leisurely dinner, apps first, etc. The room is formal with a huge table that with the leaves taken out is still close to 12 ft long, but there is a little room to dance. We won't be dancing all evening but I will bring my iPod and speakers so we can do our first dance and make it more wedding ish. I liked the idea of using the private room because you can linger over the dinner. If we were in the restaurant section, I think we would be rushed so to speak and it would be more like a fancy dinner versus a small wedding. Plus my dad is hard of hearing so it will be easier for him without all the surrounding conversations.
 
I have other random comments to make, but right now my mind is just so excited...MY BRIDAL SHOWER IS THIS SATURDAY!! (Well, my side of the fam, that is...I'm having a second shower the following weekend for FI's family who lives out of state..how sweet that they're throwing me one also!)
 
gammygam- I'm sorry your having nerves. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I was really nervous the week before, and so my now DH (then sweet fi) had me book us a massage, then the day before I was still freaking out after the rehearsal, so I got another massage.

Though ours was a pretty small wedding (100 people), I'm not good in front of people unless I am teaching a dance class. So I had carefully planned a few things in advance. I like plants; they relax me, so I had some ferns put up at the front of the hall on pillars so I could surround myself with things that calm me down and focus on them, and not the people. Then, the day of, I helped decorate the hall and that really helped break the nerves down. I was much calmer when I saw how happy everyone was, and all the laughing family helping each other.

The massages, the plants and the extra activity really helped me out and made the actual ceremony much better for me.

I hope you find some things that will work for you too.
 
StacylikesSparkles|1345137887|3252444 said:
I have other random comments to make, but right now my mind is just so excited...MY BRIDAL SHOWER IS THIS SATURDAY!! (Well, my side of the fam, that is...I'm having a second shower the following weekend for FI's family who lives out of state..how sweet that they're throwing me one also!)
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Have a wonderful time! So exciting! Can't wait to hear all about it.

I suspect my shower is coming up soon, too, even though my wedding is not until December. I know my MoH, who lives in Florida, is coming up for a visit next week, and I've noticed a few things disappearing off our registry (I'm trying hard not to check, but I couldn't help but notice, when I went to add something a few days ago, that the list is shorter than it used to be!). Several of the bridesmaids have also been acting weird lately. I don't want to pry too hard and ruin the surprise, but I'm pretty sure they're up to something.
 
I am VERY excited about it! I'm going shopping with my Mom this evening to see if we can find her a dress for the wedding and hopefully I'll find a nice little dress to wear tomorrow, as well! I have a Maid and Matron of honor and they had to coordinate a bunch of women and family, so they opted out of surprising me. Thank goodness too because if I just thought I was doing something random, I would have looked a mess! These days I have been just throwing my hair up and wearing jeans and flip flops with no make-up. Too many things are going on for me to 'try' lol Thanks goodness I know about the shower so I can be presentable.

Blacksand, hopefully you'll be a little surprised and have a great time! :)
 
Haha, that's exactly what I'm worried about! Showing up looking like a mess. I rarely wear makeup or do anything with my hair beyond brushing it, and my clothes are whatever's not in the hamper on a given day. I need to clean up my act over the next few weeks, just in case!

I can't wait to hear about your shower. Good luck shopping!
 
blacksand|1345224048|3253149 said:
Haha, that's exactly what I'm worried about! Showing up looking like a mess. I rarely wear makeup or do anything with my hair beyond brushing it, and my clothes are whatever's not in the hamper on a given day. I need to clean up my act over the next few weeks, just in case!

I can't wait to hear about your shower. Good luck shopping!
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lmao...be up to your best standards from here on out ESPECIALLY if you have plans with someone, ANYONE! You just never know!

I am so freaking excited though! One of my BM's from out of town is coming and I just love to. Plus, my 2 MOH's have put a lot of time and thought into whatever they're doing, so I just can't wait!

Wish me luck on dress shopping tonight. I hope I find something fabulous AND Mom finds something great for the wedding!
 
Hope you got a dress and have a wonderful time today! Can't wait for your update!
 
blacksand|1345299351|3253549 said:
Hope you got a dress and have a wonderful time today! Can't wait for your update!
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Oh my goodness, Saturday was AMAZING!! Not only did I find THE PERFECT DRESS, but I had such a great day filled with love and good times! My maid and matron of honor really made everything so special for me and we just had a terrific time! I am still floating a bit :love: Seriously though, I had the most important women in my life there to show their support for me and it was just delightful! The food was awesome (thanks, matron of honor Jen!) and the decorations were adorable (thanks, maid of honor Kate!) and everything just screamed ME! I will have to post a few pictures of the dress and decorations. They even did some bunting for me (because they know I'll be doing some for the wedding and they know I love it so much!) and I'll actually be using some of it for the cake/candies table. Ahhh! I Love my girls!

I can't even believe that this coming weekend I have another bridal shower, but with FI's side of the family!! I feel very special right about now! :D

Oh and my photographer offered to do some bridal shots FOR FREE this Saturday morning...life is good! :love: :bigsmile: :appl:
 
StacylikesSparkles|1345462548|3254239 said:
blacksand|1345299351|3253549 said:
Hope you got a dress and have a wonderful time today! Can't wait for your update!
Click to expand...

Oh my goodness, Saturday was AMAZING!! Not only did I find THE PERFECT DRESS, but I had such a great day filled with love and good times! My maid and matron of honor really made everything so special for me and we just had a terrific time! I am still floating a bit :love: Seriously though, I had the most important women in my life there to show their support for me and it was just delightful! The food was awesome (thanks, matron of honor Jen!) and the decorations were adorable (thanks, maid of honor Kate!) and everything just screamed ME! I will have to post a few pictures of the dress and decorations. They even did some bunting for me (because they know I'll be doing some for the wedding and they know I love it so much!) and I'll actually be using some of it for the cake/candies table. Ahhh! I Love my girls!

I can't even believe that this coming weekend I have another bridal shower, but with FI's side of the family!! I feel very special right about now! :D

Oh and my photographer offered to do some bridal shots FOR FREE this Saturday morning...life is good! :love: :bigsmile: :appl:
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Wow, sounds like a fantastic weekend for you! :appl: so exciting! I didn't make much progress, but I did find a pair of maybe earrings to order....so far a bunch of friends are voting for them.....here is a link! Thoughts??
http://www.ross-simons.com/products/771921.html
 
Phdecorate|1345464497|3254251 said:
StacylikesSparkles|1345462548|3254239 said:
Wow, sounds like a fantastic weekend for you! :appl: so exciting! I didn't make much progress, but I did find a pair of maybe earrings to order....so far a bunch of friends are voting for them.....here is a link! Thoughts??
http://www.ross-simons.com/products/771921.html
Click to expand...
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So pretty! And I love the hint of blue! :) While you're on the lookout for earrings, if you come across any fun danglies with a nice, rich green, let me know. I am all for cheapy, as I can't see wearing them again. So may white and dark green crystals or something.
 
Here are a few of my favorites!

bridalshower.jpg

bridalshower3.jpg

love_is_swett.jpg
 
One more. MOH made a candy/goodies table for me. What you can't see if the little handmade chocolates that she made with our initials on them!

bridalshower2.jpg
 
Oooh, those goodies look amazing! Looks like you had a great weekend! I love that dress and your necklace, too! I'm glad you had a good time, and how cool that you get to do it all again next weekend with FI's family. So do you need another new dress for shower #2? ;))
 
Ha! Probably! :) I think I'm going out one evening this week to look for stuff for FI and you know I'll be all over finding another fabulous dress! I mean, I can't wear the same one again lol

I am very excited for next weekend too! And oh man, the goodie table was delightful! Jen (MOH) also made all the food for the shower, which included little chicken salad sandwiches (this was per my request), veggies and dip, fruit and dip (the dip is ridiculous...another of my requests lol), some sort of spiced (not terrible for you) hot chicken dip with chips, wine, frozen red sangria (soooo good!), some yummy punch and sweet tea (which they labeled with one of the bunting pieces to say 'love is sweet, so is the tea'. I definitely ate 2 chicken salad rolls and a ton of other stuff, so yeah, calorie fail lol
 
How fun! Your dress is adorable! Looks and sounds like you had a blast, so yay for that!
 
Yesterday, our first out of town couple made their flight reservations to come out for our wedding. Eeek! Somehow that makes it all seem much more real??
 
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