getting lost in stupid stuff

[star sparkle]

Here are the earrings and band!

 

[star sparkle]

Also, here is how the earrings and a pearl pendant of my mom's look with my dress. Thoughts?

 

[star sparkle]

Hi star sparkle! Sounds like you've made quite a bit of progress! But... where are the pictures? I want to see the wedding band and the earrings! And your dress when you have your fitting! I had my last fitting yesterday and it came on the heels of eating whatever the heck I could for a week without power after the hurricane, so...yeah. I did not lose any weight at all. Two days after Thanksgiving is rough, but you will be fine! I figure it's more realistic that way anyway, so you don't go in super skinny for alterations and then have to wear a very tight dress on your wedding day while you're eating lots of rich food. Lots of brides get sick that way, so I think it's for the best, really. And you will look amazing!

Do you have any pics from your last fitting? Would love to see them!

In more exciting news, FI and I found a townhouse for us to rent once our current leases expire. We LOVE it, it's so great and I can't wait to move in!

We also went to a different, much better tux shop today and got FI's tux reserved and his measurements taken. One more thing to cross off the list!

 

[blacksand]

Absolutely gorgeous, star sparkle! The rings are stunning and just perfect on your hand. I love the earrings, too! And I'm a sucker for both pearls and sentimental jewelry, so I love that pearl pendant, too. I think they all look beautiful with the dress!

Congratulations on the new townhouse! When will you be moving? Moving while planning a wedding is really stressful, but it's so much better when you're moving into a great place with a great guy. Are you moving before the wedding or after?

I have a few crappy pics from my fitting, but I took them myself with my cell phone in the mirror. I also look miserable in the photos, because I kind of was (I'm over it now!). They're awful but I can try to upload one when I get home today just to give you an idea.

 

[star sparkle]

Absolutely gorgeous, star sparkle! The rings are stunning and just perfect on your hand. I love the earrings, too! And I'm a sucker for both pearls and sentimental jewelry, so I love that pearl pendant, too. I think they all look beautiful with the dress!

Thank you! I stressed myself out over finding the perfect pendant and earrings that wouldn't look too gaudy with the neckline of my dress since that already has so much embellishment. I was afraid of not finding something to strike the balance between plain/boring and over the top, but I think I managed it.

Congratulations on the new townhouse! When will you be moving? Moving while planning a wedding is really stressful, but it's so much better when you're moving into a great place with a great guy. Are you moving before the wedding or after?

We officially get the keys on 12/15, and FI will start moving in then and be all moved in by 12/31. I'm stuck in a lease right up until the wedding, so I won't be moving until the end of Jan. With rent costs and penalties for breaking leases around here, it would unfortunately be financial suicide to try to break my lease AND pay rent and do all that.

I'm SO relieved that we found this place! We had been searching for a month and a half, went to tons of open houses, and everything was just meh. I was stressing because I didn't want be stuck scrambling in mid-January still without a new place to live, so the townhouse couldn't have come at a better time.

I have a few crappy pics from my fitting, but I took them myself with my cell phone in the mirror. I also look miserable in the photos, because I kind of was (I'm over it now!). They're awful but I can try to upload one when I get home today just to give you an idea.

OK! You keep talking about this big, princess-y dress and I'm dying to see it!!

 

[blacksand]

Okay okay... here's some blurry cell phone shots. Train is bustled in all photos (so there's even more volume then usual). It's going to be fun trying to tuck this dress under the table to eat dinner, lol!

Sorry I'm kind of scowling in all the photos. I was definitely having a moment.

 

[star sparkle]

That dress is SO amazingly princess-y, it's awesome! Reminds me of Cinderella.

It looks great on you!! You're going to be a beautiful princess on your wedding day.

What accessories are you wearing?

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Ahhhhh!! PRINCESS DRESS!! I think it's totally fin and you look like Cinderella (with brown hair lol)...LOVE that you went big!

 

[blacksand]

Thanks ladies! I am actually wearing my accesories in the pictures, but you can't really see. I have tiny diamond studs and diamond and pearl drop earrings, a lavaliere necklace that belonged to my grandmother that my mother wore on her wedding day, a diamond and sapphire ring that was my great-grandmother's that my aunt let me borrow, and a pearl bracelet (that I'm actually not wearing in the photos because I forgot it that day). I'm also giving pearl bracelets to all of the bridesmaids and the moms. I have my blingtastic shoes that will be hidden under the dress (but I'll know they're there). I also have a faux-fur trimmed cloak and muff for outdoor pictures. So I can be a snow princess, lol. That might be my favorite part. Almost wish I could wear the cloak all night.

I have a full cathedral veil and a blusher. In all honestly it's probably a bit too much. But I figure if you're going for the princess look, you have to commit!

The shoulder piece is a removable shrug, which I'll probably take off for the reception. So I can tone it down just a little. I think it would be awkward to dance in.

 

[star sparkle]

Awesome! Love how you're wearing the necklace that your mom wore, that's so cool!

Also love the idea of a diamond and sapphire ring. Your pieces are all so sentimental, I love it!

Reminds me that I still need to come up with an idea for my "something blue." I still have no clue what to do for that. Blue jewelry is out of the question for me (already have earrings/necklace and I don't wear bracelets), so what else can I do (besides the obvious garter)?

 

[blacksand]

Well, a lot of people do the garter or shoes. Or a little blue hanky to carry around in your bag. My plan, before my aunt lent me the ring, was to paint my toenails with blue nail polish. I'm still probably going to do that, since blue is one of my wedding colors.

 

[star sparkle]

Haha, helps that your wedding colors include blue! My wedding colors are ivory and gold, and my shoes are gold. If my shoes were close-toed I'd consider painting my toenails blue, but they're not, and I'm not a fan of the ivory/gold/blue combo that'd be seen if/when my feet are visible.

Ughhh.. someone suggested getting a little blue wedding label/monogram sewn into my dress, which I think it what I'm leaning towards. I can't think of a better idea at this point.

 

[blacksand]

Hmm yeah, I'm not really feeling gold, ivory and blue either! It's funny though because I have a thing for china. My two favorites are Wedgwood Jasperware, which is the iconic blue and white, and Lenox Eternal, which is ivory and gold. I went with Wedgwood blue and white for my wedding colors and have a few decorative pieces of Wedgwood (ornaments, figurines, and a few dishes) for the wedding, and we registered for Lenox china, so my home is literally filled with precisely those colors at the moment: blue, white, ivory and gold. Doesn't match but I love it all anyway.

i think sewing a blue monogram into the dress sounds lovely.

 

[chloeishere]

I LOVE the princess dress, blacksand! It's beautiful, and you look awesome in it! Embrace the princess!

 

[gem_anemone]

blacksand I LOVE your dress! It's beautiful!

 

[blacksand]

Thank you!

 

[audball]

I love your gorgeous princess dress blacksand! No need to be miserable! It's PERFECT on you....just GORGEOUS!

 

[star sparkle]

Just as a quick update-

My dress fitting last week went well and I still love my dress, so that was a huge relief! I go back on 1/12 for my second fitting. Gonna have to be extra disciplined during this holiday season and all the holiday parties that go along with it!

Today I finally mustered the motivation to find a florist, and I've contacted on that I think will be great. Talked to her on the phone and she said to email her some photos of stuff I liked, so I did that and we'll see what happens next.

Also, I just got done scheduling our cake tasting for next Saturday. We're going to taste the red velvet, tuxedo, and chocolate caramel cakes. I'm SO not the type who ever enjoys any sort of fruit layers or fillings in my cake, and these three had none of that, thankfully! Can't wait to taste them.

And finally, we're having our second wedding celebration party this weekend and we're so excited! We had one back in October in FI's hometown to celebrate with his friends/family there, and the one this weekend is for our closest friends here where we both currently live. We wanted the opportunity to celebrate with our friends who aren't coming to our tiny wedding, so this is it.

 

[Mico]

So exciting!!! Can't wait to hear more!

 

[blacksand]

star sparkle, it sounds like you are making great progress! You've gotten a lot done. Dealing with the florist was one of the most stressful tasks for me. Mostly because I just had no idea what to ask for or what to expect. So I would consider that in and of itself a major accomplishment. A successful dress fitting, a party this weekend and cake tasting scheduled? You are on a roll! Did you get any pictures at your dress fitting? Would love to see more.

I have my bachelorette party (kind of) this weekend. I mostly planned it myself, which is why it's a "kind of" bachelorette. My MOH is out of state, so it's really just some of my best girls getting together. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also kind of bummed because my FSIL is bailing on me. I'm not exactly surprised. FSIL can be difficult and frankly, I think she has a hard time not being the center of attention. She kind of always has been, since I met her on her birthday, then she got married, then had a baby and finished her MA. I've always been happy to celebrate these occasions with her, but now that I'm getting married she just has not been there for me. She's been kind of avoiding me lately, and in the past few weeks she's been making a point of posting her old wedding pictures all over facebook (not unusual in and of itself, but with her ignoring all things related to my upcoming wedding, it's a bit odd she's thinking so much about her own). I think she's truly having a hard time dealing with this wedding not being about her. Yeah, she has some insecurity issues, but she's still my FSIL and I still really wanted her to come tomorrow. But she's been bailing on everything lately. It seemed like she was going to make the effort and come out this weekend, and I was really happy. But a few hours ago, she changed her [online] RSVP from a "yes" to a "no." No explanation or apology offered, just a "no." Last minute, no less. Sigh. I'm really not surprised, just disappointed. She's very likely the only SIL I'll ever have, and I just wish we could be friends. We get along fine, no fighting or anything. She just blows so hot and cold, and it stresses me out. I just never know what to expect from her. Oh well. I'm trying to get excited about the party anyway. It will be a small group of girls. Looks like three of my bridesmaids and one other friend. But we're going to go to a quirky little tea place and then out for drinks and maybe dancing. I got a hat with feathers and a bow. It'll be fun, who needs FSIL, right?

After that I really have to get cracking. Three weeks out, and I still have so much left to do!

 

[star sparkle]

So I had called the florist on Thursday morning and chatted with her, and she said I should email her some photos of things I liked and we'd go from there. I emailed them to her within an hour of our phone conversation, and it's now Sunday and I haven't heard back from her. Now I'm wondering what I should do? I emailed her again this morning asking for follow-up, and again haven't heard back. I'm thinking maybe I should just move on? Sucks, because I thought I had finally gotten this part figured out. She also has excellent yelp reviews, so I don't know what gives. Sigh.

The party was fun! The host/hostess were so gracious and I had a great time with all of our friends. It went by so fast!

blacksand, that's really odd behavior on your SIL's part. Seriously? I'm sorry she's acting that way, but you're right..who needs her!! Hope your party was fun regardless, can't wait to hear about it!

 

[star sparkle]

Oh, and no, I wasn't able to get any photos at my dress fitting. Nobody was available to go with me, and my tailor has this tiny little place and some other customers were coming in right when we were finishing up so I didn't want to ask her to take any photos. Hopefully at my next fitting, someone will be able to go with me (they better, 'cause I need someone to learn how to bustle my dress!).

 

[blacksand]

Yeah, FSIL is an odd one. I really do want us to have a good relationship, but it just doesn't seem like she's interested. Every time I start to feel we're getting closer, she pulls back, and she pulls back HARD. She is normally very sweet, but sometimes she just gets like this, and when she gets like this, she can be really hurtful. I really don't care that she didn't come the the party (it probably would have been awkward with her there anyway), but I can't believe she didn't AT LEAST say she was sorry she couldn't make it or wish me a good time. She has not breathed a single word to me since then. We were fine on Thanksgiving, and nothing has happened. She is just pulling back because it's what she does. I really think she is just an unhappy person, and she doesn't like to see anyone else happy when she's not happy. I wish I could just write her off and not let it bother me, but it hurts. She's [most likely] the only SIL I'll ever have, and the closest to a sister I'll ever have.

ANYWAY, I had a good time at my bachelorette party. The best man's wife canceled at the last minute due to a work crisis, and one of my bridesmaids woke up very sick that morning, so I started my day a little bit bummed that hardly anyone was coming. We had invited 14, and it ended up being me, 2 out of 6 bridesmaids, and two other friends. One friend came late and left early. So for most of the party, it was just four of us. Nobody from FI's side (friends or family) made it out, so I was a little sad. FI invited my brother and the spouses of all the bridesmaids to his bachelor party, and every one of them came. It's always different with women, though, for some reason. Like Dad can go out if the kids are sick, but Mom can't. It's just how it is. Everybody had valid reasons for not coming (except maybe FSIL). I wasn't mad, just bummed. But I got dressed up and put on my fancy hat and went out with the people who did come out for me, and they were awesome. The tea party was so much fun! The scones and sandwiches were amazing, and the place was so cute. Then we went to a martini bar and I, um, had entirely too many passion fruit martinis. We totally lost track of time. I really wanted to go to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, so we headed down there on our way back to the train station, but unfortunately the lights were out when we got there. Oh, well, it was still pretty. Like I said, we kind of lost track of time and one of my bridesmaids ended up missing her last train home, so she came home with me. We just barely made my train, and it was the last one for the night! They were closing down the station when we got there. I have no idea where all the time went in between afternoon tea and just barely catching that last train home, but I guess that means it was a good party! It was almost 3 AM by the time I got home. Yikes! It set me back a bit with my workout and diet plan for sure, but I'd say it was worth it.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Yeah, FSIL is an odd one. I really do want us to have a good relationship, but it just doesn't seem like she's interested. Every time I start to feel we're getting closer, she pulls back, and she pulls back HARD. She is normally very sweet, but sometimes she just gets like this, and when she gets like this, she can be really hurtful. I really don't care that she didn't come the the party (it probably would have been awkward with her there anyway), but I can't believe she didn't AT LEAST say she was sorry she couldn't make it or wish me a good time. She has not breathed a single word to me since then. We were fine on Thanksgiving, and nothing has happened. She is just pulling back because it's what she does. I really think she is just an unhappy person, and she doesn't like to see anyone else happy when she's not happy. I wish I could just write her off and not let it bother me, but it hurts. She's [most likely] the only SIL I'll ever have, and the closest to a sister I'll ever have.

ANYWAY, I had a good time at my bachelorette party. The best man's wife canceled at the last minute due to a work crisis, and one of my bridesmaids woke up very sick that morning, so I started my day a little bit bummed that hardly anyone was coming. We had invited 14, and it ended up being me, 2 out of 6 bridesmaids, and two other friends. One friend came late and left early. So for most of the party, it was just four of us. Nobody from FI's side (friends or family) made it out, so I was a little sad. FI invited my brother and the spouses of all the bridesmaids to his bachelor party, and every one of them came. It's always different with women, though, for some reason. Like Dad can go out if the kids are sick, but Mom can't. It's just how it is. Everybody had valid reasons for not coming (except maybe FSIL). I wasn't mad, just bummed. But I got dressed up and put on my fancy hat and went out with the people who did come out for me, and they were awesome. The tea party was so much fun! The scones and sandwiches were amazing, and the place was so cute. Then we went to a martini bar and I, um, had entirely too many passion fruit martinis. We totally lost track of time. I really wanted to go to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, so we headed down there on our way back to the train station, but unfortunately the lights were out when we got there. Oh, well, it was still pretty. Like I said, we kind of lost track of time and one of my bridesmaids ended up missing her last train home, so she came home with me. We just barely made my train, and it was the last one for the night! They were closing down the station when we got there. I have no idea where all the time went in between afternoon tea and just barely catching that last train home, but I guess that means it was a good party! It was almost 3 AM by the time I got home. Yikes! It set me back a bit with my workout and diet plan for sure, but I'd say it was worth it.

Sorry to hear about your SIL, but in all honesty it might be time to just back off from your expectations of her so you don't get hurt again. You know she is this type of person, so accept her for who she is and just realize that while she could change itn the future, this is how she is now. And it is NOT your fault! It's her loss!

I am delighted to hear that everything was so much fun for you! Only 3 of my 7 BM's came out to my bachelorette party dinner and 2 left right afterwards. It was then just me, one of my MOH's, 2 awesome co-workers and one of my cousins. Let me tell you, it could not have been any more fun than it was! I think you really made the most of your day/evening from the sounds of things, which is extra fabulous! Oh and you may not know this, but calories actually aren't present on anything you eat or drink during your bachelorette party..it's like this whole secret thing that they forget to tell some ladies. It's now your job to pass this little tidbit on to another deserving lady By the way, I have never had a martini (I'm more of a beer or wine kind of gal) but now I totally want to try a passion fruit one! Like, ASAP!! I 'm doing happy hour after work today, so maybe I will just have to try one in your honor That means no calories since it's in honor of someone, right?! So glad you enjoyed yourself though!!

 

[blacksand]

You are totally right. I know I just need to lower my expectations so I won't be disappointed again. It's just that she is SO sweet when she is sweet. But then she gets all weird again, and now she just isn't talking to me. I'm worried about the wedding, because her son (our nephew) is our ring bearer. She gets super jealous and protective of her son sometimes (other times she is fine), and she's sometimes super weird about photos. We just don't take (much less post) any photos of our nephew, because sometimes she's cool with it, and sometimes she's not. So we just don't take any at all, to make sure we don't offend anyone. It's hard, because our nephew is adorable! We talked to her about taking pictures at the wedding and she said it's totally fine, of course she expects the photographer to take pictures of the ring bearer and it's fine for us to post them as well. But sometimes she just flips out for no reason, and I'm terrified she's going to flip out about our wedding photos. I'm sure she'll flip out about something.

ANYWAY, let's talk passion fruit martinis. Yes, they are freaking delicious, and yes, you should have one. No, the calories do not count if you have one in my honor! So maybe have two! Pear martinis are my usual favorite, but they didn't have them at the place we went on Saturday, so I figured I'd try something new. Passion fruit is my favorite juice. It reminds me of when I lived in Brazil. Amazing. Everyone should try them! But...I do not recommend having quite as many as I had on Saturday (however many that was). Haha! I am not much of a drinker usually, and apparently I cannot drink like I used to in college anymore. Oops. Amazingly, I still did my 30 Day Shred workout the next day. Not well, but I did it. I am a superhero.

star sparkle, did you ever hear back from the florist? It does seem strange that she wouldn't reply after you talked on the phone and she seemed so helpful. Maybe she was away for a few days, but she should have told you that when you spoke. When is your next dress fitting? Hope you get someone to come along and learn your bustle, but if you don't, you'll still be fine. I'm about 80% sure I can correctly instruct my MoH (or someone) as to how to do my bustle. Guess we'll find out soon enough!

 

[star sparkle]

Yeah, thanks for asking! She finally got back to me yesterday, and FI and I have an appointment to meet with her on Saturday morning before cake tasting. But yeah, it was weird. I'm going against my better judgement and sticking with her for now, hopefully this doesn't happen again!

Next dress fitting is on 1/12. I'm hoping everything is perfect then because if it's not, there's not a whole lot of time to fix it between then and the wedding.

I may have to hop on the passionfruit martini bandwagon, sounds amazing!

 

[manderz]

I'm pretty close to finished with the wedding planning, just a few loose ends to tie up. And that's a good thing, too, with the wedding in 16 days.

I'm struggling a bit. I'm excited for the wedding, but I can't help but push it to the back burner because Fi and I both have so much to do. We're both working full time and going to school full time, and the end of the semester is just a couple of days before the wedding. I know I should be so happy, but with all the work I have to do (school, work, and wedding wise), the walking around on egg shells about who has been invited and who hasn't (since we're only having about 35 people), and the fact that one of the people I want to be there more than anything can't be, I'm just sad. I just want to take a nap, but I have work to do. So, back to it, I guess.

 

[blacksand]

star sparkle, I'm glad it worked out (for now) with the florist. I'm finding that, in general, florists are just not as professional as other wedding vendors. I asked my friends and family about their experiences, because my florist made me a bit nervous, too. He's a lovely guy, but just not very professional. All I have from him is a piece of paper with chicken scratch handwriting all over it. I'm really not sure what it says, so I hope he knows what to do for the wedding! I was nervous at first, but it turns out almost all of my friends had similar experiences with their own florists, and it turned out well in all cases. My parents also know my florist and they trust him, so I'm just going to have to trust that it will all work out. I'm sure yours will work out fine as well!

manderz, it's coming up way too soon! I totally know how you're feeling. I'm super busy at work trying to fit a month's worth of projects into two weeks, because they have to get done by the end of the year, and FI actually just started a new job. It's a temp job with a chance at a permanent position if he does well, so, of course, he is working his behind off all day every day. We are both exhausted and don't want to deal with wedding stuff at the end of the day. But it's coming, whether we're ready or not! I'm also feeling sadness about some people who aren't coming. One good friend, in particular, who promised all year long that she was coming, and I don't think she has a very good excuse for not coming (but I know it's not my place to judge). It's hard, and it makes me sad. I have gone to great lengths to attend some of my friends' weddings, and it hurts that they won't do the same for me. But I keep telling myself I can't think about it that way, I have to be grateful for the people who are coming out and try to put the stress and sadness aside and enjoy the day. I feel like I should be excited, and right now, I'm just stressed. I have to turn that around or I won't enjoy my wedding at all! I just have to get in a more positive mindset. Tea? Yoga? Spa day? Cookies and milk?

 

[manderz]

Thanks, blacksand. It's good to know I'm not the only one who's felt like that so close to such a happy day.

I'm feeling a bit better, still pretty stressed though. Got a bunch of school work done over the weekend, so that's a relief.

I feel like I should explain the being upset over people who can't be there thing a bit more. By the time I was born, both of my grandfathers had passed away. My family is really close, and my grammas are a big part of my life. When I was little, I was really close to my dad's mom, but the older I got, the closer I got to be with my mom's mom. Over the last few years, her health started to decline, and she ended up moving to an assisted living facility. My mom, my cousin, and I took care of Gram and all of her things (cleaning out her apartment, etc.) through the whole process. She got better and better, and was really happy and healthy. Then, all of a sudden, this past June, she passed away. No illness, no sudden medical crisis, she just died. It was a huge shock, and was really hard. Fi and I hadn't even set a date for the wedding yet. She won't even know about it, and won't be able to be there. It really just breaks my heart. I miss her terribly. And, in my selfishness, in not knowing how to deal with this (first person I've ever really lost), I've been unintentionally avoiding my dad's mom. Which just makes me feel like a jerk.

 

[blacksand]

I'm so sorry, manderz. It is so hard to lose someone you love, and especially so close to your wedding day. It can be hard to celebrate such a happy occasion with such a sad occasion still fresh in your mind. I hope you enjoy your day thinking of how happy she would have been for you (and how happy she would want you to be!). But I am sorry for your loss. Is your dad's mom coming to the wedding? Hopefully you will have a chance to spend some time with her then, and I'm sure she will understand that you have been going through a lot. She can't be too upset with you, especially on your wedding day!

All of my grandparents, as well as FI's, have passed away, and though our losses are not as fresh, I do often think of them and wish they could be with us for the wedding. I never met his grandparents, and he never met mine, which is a strange feeling. I feel like they were such an important part of my life, I want him to know them! And I would love to meet his grandparents. I hear his grandmother was quite the character. Apparently, she dated Frank Sinatra before meeting his grandfather. We are playing a special song for them at the reception and will have the officiant say a few words during the ceremony. The diamond in my engagement ring was my dad's mother's, and the necklace I will be wearing was my mom's mother's. So I will keep them as close as I can.

I hope you are feeling more accomplished and less stressed today, and that your week goes well. You're in the home stretch now!