Gosh why am I this way?

[HeadOverHeels4James]

OK..so I think my bf bought a ring, not for sure but I think. He was receiving billing stamements from a jewelry store in the mail. My first thought was... well you should go to "this wholesaler place in our area" and did you shop around for the best prices.. GRR I feel sooooo bad that is what I thought, and money is very tight and I don''t want him wasting it, you know? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Gees I can''t get over myself, and the fact that I said that to him. UGH I just want him to get a nice affordable ring, but all he cares about is if its pretty. I don''t think he cares about price comparison or anything. Any advice?

Am I the worst gf ever?

 

[fieryred33143]

I completely understand.

Do you guys live together? I think one of the issues with living together is that money isn''t a secret anymore. If he is on a budget, then the whole house is on a budget so its totally normal that you want him to get the best deal. I am the same way which is why we have compromised. My FF has done no research. It''s not his thing. He likes to buy because he saw something beautiful/special and wants it. I on the other hand know our money situation and I don''t want him spending a lot on the ring (the curse of living together). So we compromised...I do research on the stone and he keeps me in the loop when he finds something so that we can discuss whether that is a good price. The setting is completely up to him and from what he told me this weekend he has it picked out already

. We were originally going with a setting he pointed out at Jared''s but he told me that he wants to pick something I haven''t seen.

Don''t feel bad. He should be lucky to have a girl that wants the proposal and is concerned with how much the ring is going to cost...as opposed to having a girl that could care less.

 

[KCCutie]

Date: 6/9/2008 11:06:33 AM
Author:HeadOverHeels4James
OK..so I think my bf bought a ring, not for sure but I think. He was receiving billing stamements from a jewelry store in the mail. My first thought was... well you should go to ''this wholesaler place in our area'' and did you shop around for the best prices.. GRR I feel sooooo bad that is what I thought, and money is very tight and I don''t want him wasting it, you know? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Gees I can''t get over myself, and the fact that I said that to him. UGH I just want him to get a nice affordable ring, but all he cares about is if its pretty. I don''t think he cares about price comparison or anything. Any advice?

Am I the worst gf ever?

Oh, no honey you are not the worst gf ever! It''s not wrong to care about his finances they will be yours someday too. And you''re not alone I feel the same way! My SO insists on completely surprising me and I think it''s so cute but I''m so afraid he''ll just walk into a maul store and buy whatever fits the bill. I''m seriously praying that his sister will ask his FBIL (her FH) to help him b/c I''m sure he''s the type to do all the research and buy on-line. The thought of him paying more than he has to makes me sad b/c we''re also shopping for a house and we need to be careful what we spend....I feel pretty guilty about having these thoughts too. I just have to trust him and I really want to but finances are not his strong suit.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/9/2008 11:06:33 AM
Author:HeadOverHeels4James
OK..so I think my bf bought a ring, not for sure but I think. He was receiving billing stamements from a jewelry store in the mail. My first thought was... well you should go to ''this wholesaler place in our area'' and did you shop around for the best prices.. GRR I feel sooooo bad that is what I thought, and money is very tight and I don''t want him wasting it, you know? Has anyone else had a similar situation? Gees I can''t get over myself, and the fact that I said that to him. UGH I just want him to get a nice affordable ring, but all he cares about is if its pretty. I don''t think he cares about price comparison or anything. Any advice?

Am I the worst gf ever?

You are NOT the worst girlfriend ever! The worst girlfriend ever would be like, "Spend all your damn money on me!"

It''s ok for you to be concerned -- you probably know a lot more about diamonds and jewelry and you just want the best ring that you guys can afford.

I don''t know what advice to give you, but definitely dont be hard on yourself. You''re looking out for the best interest of both of you, you''re not being selfish!

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

haha You guys crack me up!

I just now am feeling like maybe I hurt his feelings..my problem is I say stuff and then I always feel compelled to repeat myself multiple times. Gr.. why can''t I just let things go? DAMN OCD!

 

[fieryred33143]

I think that if you are feeling bad, you should apologize. I wouldn''t apologize for being concerned about his budget but I would apologize if you hurt his feelings. I think its great you want to make sure he stays within budget but at the end of the day, if he feels that you are special enough to spend the money then it isn''t a waste

 

[sklingem]

HOH - I am afraid that you will just have to let it go. We all want our partners to make the "best" decisions - but you can only do so much if you are not involved. In any case - he should be happy to have someone like you who cares about both of your financial future/security. Nothing to feel bad about!

 

[purrfectpear]

Last week he told you to stop obsessing about engagements OR rings, and this week you are checking out where his mail comes from and assuming he bought a ring? Then you go one step further and start making comments about where he should have shopped and what he should have spent

Step away from the keyboard and just READ your last couple of topics. "OCD" is not an excuse. He asked you nicely not to butt in but you keep doing it. What part of respecting him don''t you get

You say you love him so please, please stop. Just allow him to be the future FI that you dream of OK? The picking of the ring and the proposal are basically the only thing the poor man has any say in. Let him have it.

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

Date: 6/9/2008 12:46:23 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Last week he told you to stop obsessing about engagements OR rings, and this week you are checking out where his mail comes from and assuming he bought a ring? Then you go one step further and start making comments about where he should have shopped and what he should have spent

Step away from the keyboard and just READ your last couple of topics. ''OCD'' is not an excuse. He asked you nicely not to butt in but you keep doing it. What part of respecting him don''t you get

You say you love him so please, please stop. Just allow him to be the future FI that you dream of OK? The picking of the ring and the proposal are basically the only thing the poor man has any say in. Let him have it.

Oh I wasn''t snooping in his mail... we live together,I got the mail, and I saw the statement.. it said on the cover "billing statement enclosed". I know I need to let him do his thing, I just get very anxious and excited about all of this; I least I realize I''m obnoxious! haha