Got any jokes?

[Dee*Jay]

I only studied Latin for a few weeks, so I never learned to decline anything. I looked it up and it sure looks hard to do! Kudos to you, Dee*Jay and Wink. I keep saying I'll get back to Latin soon.

Declension

Declensions are patterns of endings for nouns. If you remember, the ending of a noun is based on its case and number. However, there are different endings for each combination of case and number in...

www.latinforstudents.com

Once you get through the joy of declining your nouns, you can conjugate some verbs. WHEW! Now THAT'S a wild time! You and Wink might have to stage an intervention!

(Dee obviously needs to get out more. )

 

[Wink]

I was terrible at Latin in the 8th grade. My mom told me many years later that my teacher had told her to never let me take any foreign language as I had zero aptitude. She told mom that the only reason she did not flunk me was that I had written such an incredible book report on James Michener's Hawaii in her English class.

Then I got sent to Rio de Janeiro as a Security Guard at the American Embassy and learned Portuguese better than anyone else in my detachment. I learned in order to chase the beautiful women in Rio, and ended up catching my American born wife to whom I have now been married since August of 1973.

After that a year in Okinawa and I spoke about 400 words of Japanese at the end of my year. I learned for the pleasure of learning, as I was totally chaste, waiting only to return to the States to wed the love of my life.

Fifteen or twenty years later, I started going to Chile every January or February to kayak. I understood most of their Spanish, but they did not understand more than a fraction of my Portuguese so I studied Spanish via the then tapes of Pimsleur, which had the unintended consequence of one of my Brasilian friends asking me what had happened to my Portuguese. I asked him, what had changed. He told me I had always spoken only in the present tense, even though I was very fluent. Now I was using past, present and future tenses.

During that same time frame I learned a little French and German also via Pimsleur. I found the French very useful in both Belgium and France, but the people in the part of Belgium that I was in were still mad at the Germans for what happened in WWII.

I really don't know if I could decline a verb or conjugate a noun on purpose, that is the beauty of learning via the Pimsleur method, you just learn to speak in conversational phrases and they leave that technical stuff for school. I have some great stories about the benefits of speaking even a few words of a language where ever you are traveling, but I will have to share those another time.

P.S. I loved the joke as it made me think for a few seconds before it hit me and I really did laugh out loud.

 

[AGBF]

I was terrible at Latin in the 8th grade. My mom told me many years later that my teacher had told her to never let me take any foreign language as I had zero aptitude. She told mom that the only reason she did not flunk me was that I had written such an incredible book report on James Michener's Hawaii in her English class.

Then I got sent to Rio de Janeiro as a Security Guard at the American Embassy and learned Portuguese better than anyone else in my detachment. I learned in order to chase the beautiful women in Rio, and ended up catching my American born wife to whom I have now been married since August of 1973.

After that a year in Okinawa and I spoke about 400 words of Japanese at the end of my year. I learned for the pleasure of learning, as I was totally chaste, waiting only to return to the States to wed the love of my life.

Fifteen or twenty years later, I started going to Chile every January or February to kayak. I understood most of their Spanish, but they did not understand more than a fraction of my Portuguese so I studied Spanish via the then tapes of Pimsleur, which had the unintended consequence of one of my Brasilian friends asking me what had happened to my Portuguese. I asked him, what had changed. He told me I had always spoken only in the present tense, even though I was very fluent. Now I was using past, present and future tenses.

During that same time frame I learned a little French and German also via Pimsleur. I found the French very useful in both Belgium and France, but the people in the part of Belgium that I was in were still mad at the Germans for what happened in WWII.

I really don't know if I could decline a verb or conjugate a noun on purpose, that is the beauty of learning via the Pimsleur method, you just learn to speak in conversational phrases and they leave that technical stuff for school. I have some great stories about the benefits of speaking even a few words of a language where ever you are traveling, but I will have to share those another time.

P.S. I loved the joke as it made me think for a few seconds before it hit me and I really did laugh out loud.

This was a wonderful posting, @Wink!

 

[Wink]

Thank you. Your joke brought up many happy memories for me.

Wink

 

[Garnetgirl]

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

[Garnetgirl]

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said, "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

 

[kenny]

Well, bless his little ol heart.

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[Karl_K]

 

[Karl_K]

 

[Karl_K]

 

[Karl_K]

threads all ways bester with frog.

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"GRANDPA, LET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"Oh sh!t! Stop the funeral."

 

[kenny]

Doctor says to Jim, "Jim I'm afraid I have some bad news".
Jim: "What is is Doc?"
Dr: "You have to stop masturbating."
Jim: "OMG, why?"
Dr: "Because I'm talking to you."

 

[missy]

Doctor says to Jim, "Jim I'm afraid I have some bad news".
Jim: "What is is Doc?"
Dr: "You have to stop masturbating."
Jim: "OMG, why?"
Dr: "Because I'm talking to you."

 

[missy]

So not a joke but pretty funny. And yes it is April and yes we still have our tree up. I am taking cheer wherever I can get it. So don't judge me. Or judge me as the crazy jewish Christmas tree cat lady


Gracie yesterday afternoon. She is apparently very pleased the tree is still up too.

 

[Rockdiamond]

Hyphenated
Non-hyphenated

Ironic, ain't it?

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

NSFW

Spoiler

 

[MamaBee]

I read this to my mom in the doctor’s office today. The receptionist couldn’t stop laughing..She said she really needed a laugh..haha

 

[Rockdiamond]

Mexican Magician
" I will count to three, and disappear"
Uno
Dos
Poof!!

He disappeared without a tres!

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

oops