Got any jokes?

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[MamaBee]

It’s really not funny....but it is..

 

[kenny]

It’s really not funny....but it is..

Yeah.
We can cry, or laugh.

 

[MamaBee]

Yeah.
We can cry, or laugh.

Yup

 

[kenny]

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
Sew, it seams he’s a Singer songwriter.

My wife wants me to slap her bum during secks.
She said maybe that'll keep her awake!

My car was making a ear-splitting screech that made my ears bleed.
My ace mechanic just ejected the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.

It seems all I do now is crush cans, and it's soda-pressing.

A raven has 17 primary wing feathers, known as pinions, while a crow has 16.
So the difference between a crow and a raven is a matter of a pinion.

I broke up with my cross-eyed boyfriend because he was seeing someone on the side.

Woody Allen tells the joke ... Woe is me. I told my analyst I have an irrational fear of palindromes. He put me on Xanax.

 

[kenny]

A 5 year old on a Southwest Airlines flight asked his mom, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

Mom, stumped, told him to ask the flight attendant, which he did.

The busy flight attendant looked down, smiled, ‘Did your mom tell you to ask me that?'
'Yeah!
'Tell her that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.

Have your mother explain that to you."

 

[jaysonsmom]

Get it? Took me a minute

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[Garnetgirl]

Get it? Took me a minute

Na - only took me half a minute

 

[kenny]

Na - only took me half a minute

It's been two days and I still have not gotten the joke.
To get it would one need to have seen Batman movies?

 

[Garnetgirl]

It's been two days and I still have not gotten the joke.
To get it would one need to have seen Batman movies?

I think even the old TV series from the 60s would be enough. I’m an oldie and even I got it.
Hint: sing the theme song

 

[missy]

It's been two days and I still have not gotten the joke.
To get it would one need to have seen Batman movies?

I had to google it.

"



Entry from February 23, 2016
“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman” (bar joke)
“A guy walks into a bar...” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” An unusual variation of the joke is:

“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.”

The chemical symbol for sodium is “Na.” The Batman television show theme is: “Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Batman!”


"

 

[Wink]

Yeah.
We can cry, or laugh.

Or both

 

[Garnetgirl]

I had to google it.

"



Entry from February 23, 2016
“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman” (bar joke)
“A guy walks into a bar...” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” An unusual variation of the joke is:

“Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.”

The chemical symbol for sodium is “Na.” The Batman television show theme is: “Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Batman!”


"

I gave a hint in post # 671, when I said “Na - it only took me half a minute”. But maybe it was too subtle

 

[missy]

I gave a hint in post # 671, when I said “Na - it only took me half a minute”. But maybe it was too subtle

I love chemistry and it was one of my strengths in school but being that I don't watch Batman and never did I am not really familiar with the theme song.

 

[kenny]

Thanks. I did well in Chemistry101 but that was a million years ago.

Jokes:
I called my wife to ask her if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted and hung up.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

The bartender tells a guy, "You look like you just lost your only friend. Wanna talk about it?
Guy say, "One of my sons just told me he's gay."
Bartender says "Oh Man, here, have another beer - on the house."
The following night the same guy comes in looking even more glum.
Bartender asks "What happened now?"
Guy says "I just found out my other son is gay too.
Bartender says "good grief man, doesn't ANYONE in your family like women?"
Guy says, "Yeah, my wife."

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

The good news: Ahmed's insurance company finally authorized his CT scan.
The bad news: It took 3,402 years.

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[prakashmano87]

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. —Beverly Gross

 

[kenny]

LOL!

 

[missy]

OMG and LOL

Spoiler

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

I keep asking everyone what LGBTQ+ stands for.
So far nobody has given me a straight answer.

This morning I accidentally gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of chap stick.
He still isn't talking to me.

Those dang Millennials.
They walk around here like they rent the place.

I spent $350 on a limousine only to find out it didn’t include the cost of the driver.
All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it!

The CDC says you can't call it omicron unless it comes from the Omicrônne region of France.
If it's from anywhere else, it's just sparkling Covid.