Got any jokes?

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[Rockdiamond]

Soy milk is really regular milk introducing itself in Spanish

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't excited about the upcoming Super Bowl.
"It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?"
"Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student.
"Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?"
"Then I'd be a football fan."

Today I spent some quiet time alone.
I was getting in touch with my inner self.
That’s the last time I'll buy single-ply toilet paper.

Dad said, "I named you after my father."
After My Father, "I know."

I asked my dog what 2 minus 2 was.
He said nothing.

Dieting tip:
To cut down on calories take the vegetables out of your double bacon double cheeseburger.

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.
It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

A gorgeous young redhead goes to the doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touched it. ' Impossible !' says the doctor .. ' Show me .' The redhead took her finger, pushed her left shoulder, and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise, she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touch made her scream. The doctor said, you're not really a redhead, are you? 'Well, no ' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.' ' I thought so,' the doctor said, ' Your finger is BROKEN...

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

I sold my vacuum today.
It was just collecting dust.

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

"
Irish Coffee - STRONG COFFEE

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.

What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said...'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'...

'What is Irish Viagra?', she asked.

It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..'

It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Oh Lord it was the best sex I've had in 25 years!

But sure as I'm sittin' here,
I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again
"

 

[AGBF]

A Roman centurion walks into a bar and says "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender says "You mean a martini?"
The Roman says "Look, pal, if I wanted a double, I'd order one."

 

[Dee*Jay]

A Roman centurion walks into a bar and says "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender says "You mean a martini?"
The Roman says "Look, pal, if I wanted a double, I'd order one."

Deb, I decline to comment on that!

 

[Wink]

Deb, I decline to comment on that!

Meaning there are least two of us who get it…

 

[missy]

"

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

"

 

[AGBF]

Meaning there are least two of us who get it…

I only studied Latin for a few weeks, so I never learned to decline anything. I looked it up and it sure looks hard to do! Kudos to you, Dee*Jay and Wink. I keep saying I'll get back to Latin soon.

Declension

Declensions are patterns of endings for nouns. If you remember, the ending of a noun is based on its case and number. However, there are different endings for each combination of case and number in...

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