Help me with seating issues!

[Independent Gal]

I'm starting to play around with seating charts and it sure is complicated! So I have a few questions.

1) Who normally sits at the head table? The set up we have involves two "head tables" so I was thinking me, FI, and our attendants and siblings at one, then my mom & step-dad, dad & his wife, and IL's at the other. I'm slightly terrified of having mom and dad at teh same table, and actually said to my mom when she expressed surprise that "For once, you may just have to stop pretending that dad doesn't exist. I think you BOTH have to sit with the IL's, OK?" To which mom replied "Oh, yeah. I guess it's your wedding, isn't it." Yeah, thanks for remembering that now, momma!

But there's more seating at the other table. What would be ideal would be to put my uncles there, since they hardly see my mom and don't know anyone else at the wedding (my mom's whole family was killed in a war, so on her side, it's just them). But the problem is, if I do that, am I obliged to put CRAZY AUNT F at that table too? She MUST be kept away from my in laws AT ALL COSTS!

I was thinking of maybe using the excuse that someone has to attend to Grammy. This isn't strictly true as grammy, though 87, tends to herself just fine, but F loooooves the role of martyr, and especially the role of martyr for grammy, so if I asked her specially if she would "make that sacrifice", she'd get to whine all evening AND tell everyone what a martyr she is. She'd be delighted, and it might focus her attention away from making other kinds of trouble.

2) Is 10 too many at a long table? Is 8 the max for good conversation to flow?

3) Any other tips or considerations?

 

[AmberWaves]

IG, my parents are separated, and it was quite the odd scenario for the tables at our wedding. The way we had it: one sweetheart table (just us two), and since we had only two other attendants (one MOH/SIL and one Best Man/BIL) we just sat them at different tables- the BIL was seated with his wife, the ringbearer (his son), their other son, and his in-laws; my SIL/MOH was seated with her husband, their kids and HER in-laws since we invited them. My mom was seated with her sister and nephews and nieces (10 per table), my dad was seated with his sister and nieces/nephews (and the flower girl), and my MIL (FIL passed away) was seated with her sisters and brothers and their kids. The people who were around our age were all seated together, and co-workers were seated together, as were family friends.

Does that make sense? As far as I know, the head table is usually reserved for the wedding party only- but I guess parents do go in there (not in my family, though).

I think 10 would be great at a table, that''s what we had!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Our head table was a big round one in the center of the room. It was DH and I plus our wedding party (9 people in all). My parents sat with their closest friends and family as did my inlaws. My MIL actually said she RATHER sit with her friends than us (not that we were planning on sitting with our parents). I thought that was funny.

Honestly, sit with who you want. Like you said it is your wedding. Enjoy it!

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, so it's OK for the parents not to sit with the in-laws? I didn't know that. That would be awesome, since then my mom could go back to pretending my father doesn't exist. The only problem is that the in-laws don't speak the local language and none of FI's other relatives, except his sister, will be there. (They are all coming to WP1 instead... closer, less expensive). So, whom would we seat them with? Hmmmm... There will be a few guests who speak their language, but that would be the only thing they have in common. Hmmmmm... oh, so tricky, but maybe we can manage it! E.g., what if the in laws sit with US and the attendants and then the two sets of parents sit with their respective friends?

Hey, that ain't a half bad idea!