How honest is this forum?

[motownmama]

I concur. If people say "I''m not sure I like this and I''m thinking of returning it," I think people really tell them their honest opnion.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/26/2008 10:54:04 AM
Author: MP
I think the general consensus is that when you post on the SMTR forum that it''s too little too late to ask for an opinion. Once it''s bought and paid for people are hesitant to make any negative comments. I for one wouldn''t want to be the one that takes the wind out of somebody''s sail. I think a good lesson learned here is that if you want an opinion on a ring then you should post some pics before you have purchased it to get that critical assesment of it. Otherwise, you won''t get the critical eye that you want.

It''s not really even that. Rings posted in here are like saying," Look what I got! I''m happy, be happy with me"!

As others have said, we post a lot to what we like, and politely say nothing to some we don''t. I rarely, truly gush over a ring, but when I do, it''s genuine. Calling for my smelling salts is a big tip off.

And I can see why you asked this, and I know you weren''t being critical.

 

[MP]

I completley agree with you guys and I'm glad that I posted this topic up because I think it has clarified my concerns. Like I've said previously I think the SMTR is for showing off your piece of jewelry and having people praise it or how you presented it to your loved one. The critical eye belongs in Rocky Talk or at a point where the poster is seeking an opinion on a design or idea.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I hope that people appreciate my concerns and have learned something from this topic. I know that I definitely have.

Thanks,

MP

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/26/2008 10:24:26 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 2/26/2008 10:15:09 AM
Author: 777_LDY
Lorelei, when do we get to gush over YOUR new sparkly??!! I know I''m going to love THAT!!

SOON hopefully!! I will let you know when it arrives and Hubby has promised to help me with pics for my inaugural thread!

We have some fun ideas for interesting pics....

*wondering whatcha got up yer sleeve*

 

[lyra]

I also go by the rule "if you can''t say something nice, don''t say anything at all". However! That doesn''t mean by any stretch that my lack of commenting means I don''t like something. Often I just come and look at the pics in this forum and don''t comment at all. It''s a totally random thing with me. I happen to like every ring here simply because I get excited for the owner, and have sometimes followed their story along from point A to point B. I''m not one to care whether a lot of people comment on my own stuff or not, maybe others feel differently.

 

[Lorelei]

MP stole my fave rodenticon!!

* sniff* I guess you can borrow it!

Anyway * hem* I will be trying something a little more unusual for my inaugural thread....

 

[CrownJewel]

I''ve seen a fair bit of constructive criticism on this forum! Yes, most of it occurs on RockyTalky, but I also see it on Show Me the Ring, when a member says something like: "We''re engaged! Specs are xxxxx... But what do you think about the prongs? They look a little large to me. And the milgrain looks uneven. Does anyone else see that or am I overly picky?"

If the wearer sees a flaw and is looking for verification, I''ll give my honest opinion. If the wearer does not see any flaws, I''m not going to tell him/her any flaws that I see. Maybe those flaws don''t bother that person. It''s like saying to someone, "I''m color sensitive and your H color diamond looks a little yellow to me." Well maybe the owner thought it looked like a very nice white H, but after an honest remark like that, is going to feel pretty darn crappy that her diamond looks yellow to other people.

Or saying "Hm, honey I just want to be helpful. But your prongs are uneven. Maybe you should bring the ring to a jeweler and have them straightened out." Ouch...I''d be like "oh, they didn''t look uneven to me. But...you think so? I''ll have to look closer."

I''m all about being honest and giving advice, but only when it is requested. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut because I don''t want to create unnecessary insecurities ("eek I''m wearing a ring with uneven prongs!") or paranoia ("does EVERYONE think my diamond is yellow?) in the wearer.

I think the members on this forum are really great in giving constructive criticism when asked.

 

[togal]

Unless critical analysis is specifically requested, this is a forum to "shamelessly brag" about your recent purchase. Liken it to showing off photos of your new born baby. The point of showing them is so that others can ''ooh'' and ''ah'' over something that you think is special.

I''m quite sure that if critical comments were part of the deal on this forum, people would stop posting their pictures out of fear that someone would say something awful to sully their good feelings about their purchase.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:15:34 PM
Author: CrownJewel

I''m all about being honest and giving advice, but only when it is requested. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut because I don''t want to create unnecessary insecurities (''eek I''m wearing a ring with uneven prongs!'') or paranoia (''does EVERYONE think my diamond is yellow?) in the wearer.

I think the members on this forum are really great in giving constructive criticism when asked.

I agree with CJ, it is very easy I think to create FUD ( fear, uncertainty, doubt) in a poster''s mind, so it is worthwhile bearing this in your own mind when giving opinions I think, I believe many of us try to anyway - unless the person has a potential issue with a ring/ prong/ diamond and wants honest opinions on what to do.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:12:31 PM
Author: lyra
I also go by the rule ''if you can''t say something nice, don''t say anything at all''. However! That doesn''t mean by any stretch that my lack of commenting means I don''t like something. Often I just come and look at the pics in this forum and don''t comment at all. It''s a totally random thing with me. I happen to like every ring here simply because I get excited for the owner, and have sometimes followed their story along from point A to point B. I''m not one to care whether a lot of people comment on my own stuff or not, maybe others feel differently.

Ditto.

 

[kellyfish]

Out of the THOUSAND+ people who look at a thread, it seems that only the ones who like the rin actually reply--and those replies, yes are positive. I do see ones that are not my taste for one reason or another & am feel that I am polite to NOT say what I think. It''s the ones that like it that actually post a response usually, I suppose.....

 

[kellyfish]

Just to add--if you want brutal truth--see Rocky Talky.

 

[babysteps]

Date: 2/26/2008 9:49:55 AM
Author:MP
I''ve been looking at almost every diamond ring picture new topic post for the last several months and one thing that has been a common theme is nothing but praise. Generally when someone posts up a bunch of pictures about their ring they are asking for opinions as to how it looks.

Speaking as someone who posted their ring over the weekend, I have to disagree with you - I absolutely was not looking for "opinions as to how it looks" but rather just wanted to share something that was special to me with a group that is fond of diamonds and appreciative of settings. Remember, THIS one is called "Show Me The Ring" - not "Please conduct a post-mortem of my ring and if necessary, suck the joy out of my day" -- I have seen and truly value the honest, educated opinions voiced by PSers when asked, but as pointed out above there are other forums for that.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:44:06 PM
Author: babysteps


Speaking as someone who posted their ring over the weekend, I have to disagree with you - I absolutely was not looking for ''opinions as to how it looks'' but rather just wanted to share something that was special to me with a group that is fond of diamonds and appreciative of settings. Remember, THIS one is called ''Show Me The Ring'' - not ''Please conduct a post-mortem of my ring and if necessary, suck the joy out of my day'' -- I have seen and truly value the honest, educated opinions voiced by PSers when asked, but as pointed out above there are other forums for that.

Oh that was good!

 

[FrekeChild]

Hee hee hee. I''d never thought about it like this, but I can see what the OP means. If someone were to stop by PS and just look at SMTR they''d think we were a bunch of pansies that love everything they see. I personally love looking at the eye candy on SMTR, and anything that sparkles is probably going to get a "Wow!" from me.

Having said that, I don''t *love* everything, but it''s because it''s not my taste. When I see something I love, I''ll say it, but as other posters said, if you don''t like something, it''s time to say, "Congrats" and move on.

I''m sure I''ll get tons of cr^p when I post my sapphire e-ring (in like a million years

) because I specifically don''t want it to be perfect. I''m hoping for some visible inclusions so that I remember that it''s a natural rock and rocks aren''t perfect. And neither is the relationship between FF and I. Plus, I want a weird color. Not like orangey green, but something more unusual that isn''t going to garner as much praise as say a cornflower blue sapphire. I''m sure I''ll be getting some "Congrats!" and not many "Congrats! I love it!" but that''s not important to me. Besides, if I''m happy with it, that''s all that matters.

Now, I personally don''t love pave, I don''t even love diamonds really (colored stones all the way) and I don''t love halos, but that doesn''t mean that I can''t find beauty in the finished product. I just don''t like it for me. I''m a more minimalistic and bare bones kind of girl. Plus, I''d probably lose at least 2 stones the first day I wore something that had pave on it, but I still think that it can be amazing to look at.

Basically, if it sparkles, I''m there.

 

[diamondfan]

Well, if I were a diamond expert and I could tell, pre purchase, that someone was about to get something less than great or was paying too much, I would say it in a nice way.

If workmanship on a ring was poor and someone posted, does this look like good workmanship, I could say how I viewed the ring.

To me, it is a bit like art or architecture. Maybe modern or contemporary stuff is not what I would buy, but I can view a total picture and see someone''s art collection or modern home and really like it aesthetically. It might not be what I would own, but I certainly can appreciate the elements of it that are well done. But I would never go on a thread and say I loved something I do not.

 

[Dreamer_D]

This is the description of SMTR on the forum main page: "Brag shamelessly about your engagement, anniversary or any other ring here. Pictures are mandatory!" That''s all, no critique necessary or warranted, unless the poster has a specific request. In another thread, someone (sorry can''t recall who and can''t recall where!

) said that they like PS because they love jewelry (dont we all!) and on PS you can bring it all out and let people ooooh and aaaahhh and have fun ooohhing and aaaahhhing at other people''s stuff, but if you brought your collection to work and did a little show then people would think you were crazy!

I totally agree with that! My friends are sick of hearing my talk about diamonds, so I check out SMTR and get my fill!

I also think it is rude to critique another person''s taste in jewelry. Who says you are right and they are wrong? It''s all just personal expression.

DD

 

[happyday]

I recently posted my reset here and I had a hard time deciding how to phrase my post.
I went with the "it''s done, here it is" route because I knew I wouldn''t be changing it at this point.
Truth be told, there are a handful of things that I would still do differently.
(wish baguettes were a little longer, wish baguettes did not meet right up to the round center but a little lower, wish the ering band was a little rounded).

I guess in the end, I just wanted to share the final product and the responses were very kind.
Can''t wait to see your creation, MP!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 2/26/2008 11:11:22 AM
Author: MP

Maybe this should by a sticky topic in this forum as a reference point for people.

You really don''t understand this forum do you?

 

[MP]

Tacori, I think I understand this forum quite well.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 2/26/2008 2:09:27 PM
Author: MP
Tacori, I think I understand this forum quite well.

It just doesn''t seem like you have "enlightened" anyone but maybe yourself. Why do you think *your* thread should be used as some point of reference? It seems we answered your *concerns* with common sense.

 

[MP]

Tacori, I think it puts things in perspective as to how people respond to others on this particular part of pricescope. I mean what's the point of being a member of a community of yes men so to speak. Being fairly new to this forum since I've only been on the last three months I was concerned that no matter what I put up in terms of both a design or a ring that people would say it looks good just to be nice. Now that there is some perspective behind how people respnd to others in SMTR I have a better understanding.

 

[Mara]

just agreeing with others...SMTR is a bragging space for the latest new bauble. unless someone asks for a frank opinion in a SMTR thread, the item is already purchased so most people try not to make others feel badly about their pretty. just because it's not one person's cup of tea doesn't mean the owner doesn't love it. as deco posted...you can typically also read between the lines in many of the threads to see what people's feelings are. i won't GUSH unless i mean it. and many times people just don't post anything rather than saying something they don't mean.

in RT people DO give their opinion quite frankly on something almost regardless of whether or not it's asked for. it seems more 'fair game' since most of the time people are still in purchasing mode and PS'ers can go 'woah wait!'. and in SMTR there are times when people post saying 'i bought this but i'm not sure, what do you think' and then PS'ers are great about giving opinions.

not sure what a sticky would accomplish other than pointing out that when someone doesn't gush over a ring that they may not love it on a daily basis...that doesn't seem all that happy for a 'show me the ring' forum!! if you want brutal honesty then go to RT and post over there.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:08:16 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 2/26/2008 10:24:26 AM

Author: Lorelei

Date: 2/26/2008 10:15:09 AM

Author: 777_LDY

Lorelei, when do we get to gush over YOUR new sparkly??!! I know I''m going to love THAT!!

SOON hopefully!! I will let you know when it arrives and Hubby has promised to help me with pics for my inaugural thread!

We have some fun ideas for interesting pics....

*wondering whatcha got up yer sleeve*

aaahhh! had no idea you had a new lovely coming!
HooHoo! can''t wait to see!

Oh, and about this thread...

Ditto Kellyfish.
Thousands of people may be on here at a time. You don''t see a thousand gushy posts, but you see several.

I post a lot, because I see a lot of rings that I really love. Like others have said, they may not be my style or whatever, but I appreciate them for what they are, and for whom they are intended.

I''m definitely a SMTR lovah.

It''s a very positive board--makes ya feel good just to check in.

 

[mijamajasky]

Hi ya! I was so surprised to see this topic...being new to PS the first place I went to was SMTR...and I, too, was like how authentic are these people? I even began to think they worked for the vendors and that is why everyone is so accomodating seeking out stones from particualr vendors, praising the stones etc...so it seems a totally fair question if your brand new...I think if maybe you have been lurking a while though you start to get that people are just happy for ya! However, I now wonder how many people are going back to their old pic and posts and going OMG she only said Congrats!!?!?!!! lol!

 

[MP]

Thanks jasky, that was exactly why I posted it up in the first place. As a first timer on here myself several months ago I noticed this trend and as I continue on this site I was beginning to take people's comments with a grain of salt. Now that I have some reference to the matter my concerns have been abated.

No offense intended toward anyone as I do value your comments on things, that's why I'm here.

 

[Girlrocks]

When someone posts in SMTR, I think of it as a chance to show off their jewelry, not an open season to pick it apart. Out of the thousands and thousands of jewelry items that I''ve seen here, sure, some are not to my liking but who the heck am I to say that. Everyone has different tastes. If you posted something and I didn''t like it, why would you care what I thought? I''m just some random person on an internet board, who cares what I think. i love to see all of the beautiful and unique jewelry on here. (But I have to say, I really do love most of what I see!)

Now, if someone posts something and says they are unsure of it, or they have a prong that looks funny to them, etc. etc, I have seen honest responses to those types of posts.

 

[joflier]

For me personally, I have a very broad sense of style. There are many differnt styles, colors, shapes, etc that I truely and honestly love! Sadly at this point, I can''t have one of each!

I really enjoy seeing everyone''s different tastes in jewelry. I like to celebrate diversity. A really unique ering that is "unusual" and probably would not be my taste at all, is still something I love to see, because I just love the fact that everyone is so different. SMTR thread would be sooo boring if everyone had virtually the exact same ring. But too, I share the same sentiments that have been said, that if I don''t have anything nice to say, I just don''t say anything at all.

 

[Cocosgirl]

Thought I would jump in with my two cents -- I think I would describe the SMTR section as an enthusiast section. We''re all here because we love the bling (or you''ve got a lady in your life that does) and once we''ve learned everything we can we want to show off the fruits of our labour. RockyTalk for sure is where critical opinion is most important.

Sure there are alot of pieces on this site that are not my cup of tea (check out The Good The Bad and The Ugly folder, hilarious!) but I get so excited to see each project finished and each "YES" that comes through this site. It''s all about the love . . . so if you like it, post away and peeps here will clap loudly that you did it!

 

[woobug02]

HEHEHEHEHE! This post made me laugh

I have been a member for over 4 years and have changed my settings, bought new stones, traded settings, traded stones, etc. and let me tell you......... I have received numerous truthful post. "Not Mean" just honest....most people on here really want the best for the members and will give you their true thoughts. This group is the reason I stopped making spur of the moment purchases and really began buying quality things I wanted... The members have also helped me steer away from vendors that may not have my best interest in mind.... I have returned or stopped a couple of projects because of the honesty of our members ............ Like the other 90 % of the members, if asked my opinion I will give it but if you are bragging about something you love then I love toooooooooooooooo

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO