How rude!

[beach]

Date: 12/19/2008 5:23:48 PM
Author: gorri8
Update #2

She already told everyone ( all of our friends and their husbands) that I was 'bragging' OMG... I just got a call from one of the my girlfriend.. all I said at the salon was My FI did a great job and one of the other hair stylist asked me questions on the band and I answered while everyone was listening. Sheesh.. the nerve of her. I am back to being upset. This really sucks. The worst part was she didn't even say anything to me at the salon. She just looked and rolled her eyes.

LOL I was right! Her mission is to now make you less in some way.... SO SAD

The only way to settle this is to confront her politely. She is so passive-aggressive and this can go on FOREVER if it is not taken care of now.... Just be honest about how she is upsetting you.. She will NEVER confront you because that is not her style.


Remember when she talks about you it is a sign of admiration and you should be flattered..... Just confront her with a smile. Just view her as a person with VERY low self esteem and not a mean person. This should help decrease your anger. I bet when you talk to her she will deny everything... Just reassure her that you know what is going on and hope that one day she can be honest with you instead of telling everyone else... Tell her you value the friendship and are hurt that she feels anger towards you for having a nice wedding set. Whatever you do, do not be passive-aggressive back.......... you will only fuel the fire

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/19/2008 8:25:14 AM
Author: gorri8
I don''t know if I could do that, but I''m sure she will say something rude again...
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/finally-better-pics-of-my-ring.100041/

Well, no wonder she thought it was fake!!

It''s huge on your tiny hand!

Seriously, that is a beautiful ring; enjoy it, and enjoy knowing that someone was jealous of you because of it!!

 

[brooklyngirl]

That''s a gorgeous ring you have! Why is it necessary to have this perseon around you in the first place? Life''s too short to hang around people who don''t wish you well!

 

[flash407]

when I got engaged, I showed one of my husband''s coworker and his recently engaged fiance my ring and they told me, "we went for quality instead of quantity." My ring was .8 RB in a channel set band. I just laughed! I can still hear them say it after all these years.....

I''d hate to show them my upgrade...

 

[musey]

I''m late to this thread, but I just wanted to reiterate that you shouldn''t let it get to you. People have different thresholds for rudeness. I''ve had at least 3 people ask me "Is it real?!" in a raised voice in front of other people. One person even insisted that it must be a fake because she''d "never seen a princess cut that way before."

(My ring has an asscher center stone.)

Another didn''t ask "is it real," she asked "Is that your fake one?"

What a weirdo.

Don''t let it get to you. It''s her problem, not yours. You know what you have, and that''s what matters!

 

[gorri8]

I just got home from dinner with my FI and we talked about this, he said that she is the type that likes to twist things around and she did in my case. I just wish I wasn''t in this mess

 

[beach]

If this is your FI's friends wife then I think that maybe he should talk to his friend and get things squared away. This would help distance you a little. It is time for him to "man up"

 

[gorri8]

I know I shouldn''t let this bother me, but like any other girl... this was a special moment in my life and wanted to share it with our friends. Why do I let this moment and what she said bothered me so much. I guess cause I will be seeing her often when we have our "get together" night... Sheesh, its not worth it. Our other girlfriend had a 1 carat plus something from "Tiffany & Co." and I was so happy for her.

 

[gorri8]

I don''t think he will be doing that

 

[loriken214]

My standard response is "Yes it is and I just love it".....that usually settles it. My enthusiasm makes the other person look shameful or shuts them up regardless of why they asked the question.

The older I get, the less I worry about what other people think. Wear YOUR gorgeous ring in good health!!!

Lori

 

[gorri8]

I love that everyone is relating to this situation...

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

I remember when I got engaged with my .24 ct. round set into a 14K yellow gold solitaire setting (I think the whole thing cost $400), a girl who came into my business got *furious* when my business partner said, "Oh, Kathy just got engaged!" Of course I can''t read minds but she seemed very upset and I later found out that she had a boyfriend who had been dragging her along for many years. My point is, a lot of people''s reactions aren''t about YOU, it''s about THEM! I mean, that girl could not even congratulate me she was so busy being pissed off! It was so weird!

 

[gorri8]

true, but this girl has such a nice husband and a lovely home... she should be so grateful that she has that.

 

[T L]

I know this is nuts, but I would almost look at her remark as a compliment. Most typical diamonds you see are pretty bland, not cut well, and washed out. Your diamond is probably so perfect in cut, color and sparkle factor, that in her mind, perhaps it was too good to be true. I know when I see a stone, any gemstone (not just a diamond), and if it looks too perfect, I think it might be synthetic or a simulated stone. Gemologists will also admit the same thing, in fact they look for inperfections to feel that a stone is natural.

 

[kindred]

I agree with the people who said it is just so much prettier than what most people are used to seeing. Honestly, I would be afraid I might blurt out something like, "Is it real?". I probably wouldn''t actually say it, but I would likely be tempted. Not because of jealousy (though that sounds like the problem with the woman you''re talking about), but because like I said earlier, it is just STUNNING and I don''t see diamonds like that except on Price Scope.

 

[that_someone_special]

There is a huge difference between someone asking,
"Wow is that real = Wow pretty diamond, I can''t believe my eyes!" and "Wow is that real = how could you afford that, it''s probably fake"

Don''t let her get you down. This is too much drama as it is already. Let it go.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/19/2008 8:32:00 PM
Author: gorri8
I just got home from dinner with my FI and we talked about this, he said that she is the type that likes to twist things around and she did in my case. I just wish I wasn't in this mess

Gorri, I'm sorry I don't want to trivialize your feelings or anything..but if this is the biggest problem you have at the moment, than I'd take that as being a good sign.

You said she is married and has a lovely home? Strange, I thought it sounded like H.S behaviour..

Move on, be the bigger person. Perhaps refrain from discussing your ring in her presence if you want the circle of rumours to stop, and be happy in your knowledge that its real and you love it.

 

[trishy]

you have an amazing ring!! its big, beautiful, sparkley, REAL... etc etc
so you have every reason to be proud and totally ecstatic about your ring [if that translates into bragging, then so be it!! you bragged... AND?? SO WHAT!!? look at that bling girl, who wouldnt??!! embrace your bragging, cuz with a ring like that you have every right

]
shoot my ring is not as big as yours.. and let me tell ya, I BRAG!! i am shameless about it.

when people hear you''ve become engaged or just married, usually everyones first response is, "oh let me see the ring!!!" or "congrats" .............. well

in my case, if i just got the congrats, i''d be the first one to say "AND LOOK AT THE RING HE GAVE ME!!! I JUST ADORE IT!! ITS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTO, I GET TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND & SOULMATE, then as if that wasnt enough, he gave me this ring, and it is so gorgeous. I just cant believe it. i''m really on cloud nine. he is a dream come true, i couldnt be happier, etc etc etc"

with that said, my friends, got excited with me, they were thrilled with and for me. then they would either ask questions about my guy or the ring, always very happy that i was happy. it was nice when they were married or engaged, they would show me their ring and tell me their story. because big or small, the guy, the ring, the moment, its fun stuff.

getting engaged and having a dreamy relationship with dreamy jewelry [diamond rings] to match is too incredible an experience to let ANYONE [especially someone like you are dealing with] ruin it for you. dont let anyone bring you down. this is your moment. relish in it. if you have one person not being happy with you, and the rest are excited for you, then try to focus on the latter. stay positive. this life is too short to focus on anything that''ll bring ya down.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I''ve thought about this again, and honestly, for some reason there is some sort of recent public perception that Lab-Created diamonds (genuine diamond, not simulants like DNL or others) are available en masse, and that they''re significanntly less expensive than mined natural diamonds. I don''t know why that is, but I have had someone ask me if my Asscher was a cultured diamond before because she had "never seen a real diamond cut like that".

Just something to think about . . . I really believe this woman has her own issues to deal with, and just didn''t want to believe your fabulous ring was genuine.

 

[mommy2iz]

i totally agree with what''s been said regarding this woman''s insecurity. maybe you feel she "should" be happy, by your standards, but she clearly isn''t. for whatever reason, she chooses to instigate trouble. it''s not your problem. being strong, confident, and happy, and not letting her petty remarks get to you is really your best revenge.
responding "why would you ask that?" to the "is it real?" comment is so great! i''ve used it before, too. the look on their face, as they realize they''ve been rude is too much! it also gives them the benefit of the doubt, just in case they really are simply curious and not intentionally being rude.
best wishes for happy holidays and peace of mind! let it go - life''s too short!!!

 

[Mediterranean]

Date: 12/20/2008 1:30:22 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
I have had someone ask me if my Asscher was a cultured diamond before because she had ''never seen a real diamond cut like that''.

NO! I would have mentioned that''s there''s this totally obscure, unheard of actress named Elizabeth Taylor who has on cut just like that....a 33 carat one, so she ever gets a chance to lay eyes on a rare, rare picture of this actress, and her never-before-seen 33 carat Asscher, she might wanna take a closer look...

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 12/20/2008 2:00:54 PM
Author: Mediterranean

Date: 12/20/2008 1:30:22 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
I have had someone ask me if my Asscher was a cultured diamond before because she had ''never seen a real diamond cut like that''.

NO! I would have mentioned that''s there''s this totally obscure, unheard of actress named Elizabeth Taylor who has on cut just like that....a 33 carat one, so she ever gets a chance to lay eyes on a rare, rare picture of this actress, and her never-before-seen 33 carat Asscher, she might wanna take a closer look...

But Liz''s ring is fake and she wears violet contacts too, right?!?

 

[gorri8]

I have always been the type of person who takes another persons feelings into consideration over my own... this has been something I have always felt to be the right thing to do... but sometimes... I just don''t get certain people... but I accept them for who they are...

sheesh... this journey of understanding different people and their feelings is going to be hard... but nothing in life is ever easy...
So... while I know that my life is far from this journey''s end... and this journey inward has been long, hard,and sometimes very trying... yet so far very fulfilling and I cannot wait to continue on and seek happiness... I am not going to let this little bump take over me or my happiness. Thank you all once again!

 

[LGK]

I have to say I''m asked "Is it real" on a near daily basis- the last time about eight hours ago when I was at work. Most people don''t mean a darn thing by it other than "I''m making friendly conversation, I like your ring, it''s big and sparkly, and this is the first thing that popped out of my mouth." The occasional rude person means something much snarkier, but it''s pretty obvious and easy to ignore completely.

As far as the ongoing unpleasantness over the woman who said that to you, I''d say that someone with that level of unpleasantness fools nobody; most people would consider the source of gossip. I''d say she''d earned a full on cold shoulder in social situations- I don''t waste time on someone who is a black hole of energy like that, it''s not worth it at all.

I would say that that sort of oh-god-she-said-what-about-me crap seems really crucial when you''re in your early to mid twenties but as time goes on, it really starts being less upsetting and more a source of mild amusement. (At least that''s the way it was for me; I was an especially sensitive teenager, but I have definitely developed a thicker skin over time... and I also admit I''m making an assumption about your age, which could of course be way off base! ) I''d say the less time you devote to thinking about her, the better, and DEFINITELY don''t let someone like that ruin one second of your enjoyment of your engagement.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 12/19/2008 10:59:10 PM
Author: tourmaline_lover
I know this is nuts, but I would almost look at her remark as a compliment. Most typical diamonds you see are pretty bland, not cut well, and washed out. Your diamond is probably so perfect in cut, color and sparkle factor, that in her mind, perhaps it was too good to be true. I know when I see a stone, any gemstone (not just a diamond), and if it looks too perfect, I think it might be synthetic or a simulated stone. Gemologists will also admit the same thing, in fact they look for inperfections to feel that a stone is natural.

Ditto, I have had that asked it is a backhanded compliment essentially your ring is so beautiful people can''t believe that it is so perfect and real

 

[bee*]

I really wouldn''t worry what she thinks. She doesn''t sound like a real friend so don''t let it bother you. If you love it, then that''s the main thing. I''m sure my ring isn''t everyones cup of tea and I''ve been asked is it real before too as I look quite young, but I don''t care what others think so long as D and I adore it.

 

[Alexiszoe]

gorri, i understand how you feel. When i first got engaged, i was very surprised to receive a lot of snarky comments from people whom I thought were my friends, like ''i would never spend that kind of money on a ring, it''s so frivolous'' etc etc. these people are just plain insecure and i would say the best revenge is to wear your ring with pride. there is no point in letting people like her succeed in making you feel bad. You are incredibly lucky to have a lovely ring and fiance, and she is jealous, that is all. next time, flaunt your ring in her face!

 

[gorri8]

I just feel like she doesn''t think we could afford something like this... why say something this rude... you know. My FI have been saving forever on this ring and I am so proud of him for doing so. But to have a rude comment made like that, just makes me so upset.

 

[needmorediamonds]

Don''t let it get to you, or take away at all from the joy of your ring. I had people whisper to each other that mine was fake - strangers in a check-out line. A remark that rude deserves the snappy, "Of course it''s real. I can''t believe you''d even ask." Then go right on talking as tho she hadn''t said anything. Then forget it. Probably she''s never seen anything bigger than 50 points.

 

[jewelerman]

get used to it...with a ring like yours there will be many more people in your future about your ring...