How safe do you feel when shopping these days?

[monarch64]

My other half (very tall, white, blond and blue-eyed all-American farm boy) once tried to tell me that most places are much safer than the media makes them out to be, and anecdotes are just that and should be taken as such, and that I was really worrying far too much about walking around (NYC and Chicago) by myself. In the middle of the Asian hate epidemic a couple years ago.

I cannot even fathom the amount of privilege it takes to say that to a smaller-statured Asian woman. I told him so in exactly those words. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

He knows better now. Or at least knows to keep any thoughts like that entirely to himself. He’s a generally very sensible and empathetic person but occasionally this privileged cluelessness blunders through.

It’s really difficult to hear the “what’s the big deal? I’ve never experienced that, you’re overreacting” attitude.

I try not to get angry. I try to stay away from social media when I find the algorithm feeding me mainly feminist things that are empowering but also stir up negativity towards men in me. My mother cannot stand to talk to me about anything political or involving gender because I get so fired up.

When there is actual equality, I’ll calm down. But reading men’s comments about not having fear in a thread like this will continue to evoke feelings of rage in me until then.

ETA: it’s Friday night, I’ve had a glass of wine, and I’m raising a ‘tween daughter. I hope my fellow PSrs can forgive me for a little ranting. Wishing all of you a wonderful long weekend.

 

[stracci2000]

I didn’t even think of the mall, never go there so didn’t cross my mind.

If antique stores and pawn shops were as unsafe as the mall, then I would be in big trouble

The guys in the pawn shop are armed, so the pawn shop is probably a fairly safe place to be.
No one in their right mind would cause trouble in a pawn shop!

 

[lulu_ma]

I don't go many places either, mainly the grocery store, home depot, pet store, etc but honestly I've never thought about it being unsafe. It's pretty safe in my area of Massachusetts but this stuff can happen anywhere I guess. I will be more aware from now on thanks to this thread.

+1 I'm in the Massachusetts suburbs. I do remind my son to be careful if he ventures off the beaten path.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

can i just say, gently and with respect to people's fear
spare a thought for us shop asssistants
How are we ment to earn an honest crust if you all shop from home?
pretty soon there will be no service indutry and you will all be dealing with AI's

and we do have big problems with ram raids and smash and grabs right now nation wide that is especailly targetting Micheal Hill Jewler
ok they are the mall jewler but the people who work there are just ordinary people who have a right to feel safe at work

 

[nala]

The guys in the pawn shop are armed, so the pawn shop is probably a fairly safe place to be.
No one in their right mind would cause trouble in a pawn shop!

Sadly, not the case. I frequent pawn shops too and the old timers are honest enough to admit that they have gotten robbed several times.
A few years ago, one of the pawn shops that I go to got robbed and one of the owners was killed as he tried to defend himself.

As far as malls go, two local mall’s Kevin Jewelers in affluent cities were the victims of smash and grabs in the past couple of years.

I don’t let these incidents deter me if I really need something but I prefer to shop at secondhand stores.

But also, I am a teacher and we have had two lockdowns this year alone—out of precaution. I guess I’ve gotten accustomed to this madness when it comes to me. Now, if you ask me not to freak out over DD and her possible exposure to these incidents—that is a different story!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Sadly, not the case. I frequent pawn shops too and the old timers are honest enough to admit that they have gotten robbed several times.
A few years ago, one of the pawn shops that I go to got robbed and one of the owners was killed as he tried to defend himself.

As far as malls go, two local mall’s Kevin Jewelers in affluent cities were the victims of smash and grabs in the past couple of years.

I don’t let these incidents deter me if I really need something but I prefer to shop at secondhand stores.

But also, I am a teacher and we have had two lockdowns this year alone—out of precaution. I guess I’ve gotten accustomed to this madness when it comes to me. Now, if you ask me not to freak out over DD and her possible exposure to these incidents—that is a different story!

I've had more than two in the last month. Exposure sure does change things!

 

[autumngems]

So many stores closing now due to thefts, food stores as well. Wait until those areas have nowhere to go to buy food, sad.

 

[liaerfbv]

My other half (very tall, white, blond and blue-eyed all-American farm boy) once tried to tell me that most places are much safer than the media makes them out to be, and anecdotes are just that and should be taken as such, and that I was really worrying far too much about walking around (NYC and Chicago) by myself. In the middle of the Asian hate epidemic a couple years ago.

I cannot even fathom the amount of privilege it takes to say that to a smaller-statured Asian woman. I told him so in exactly those words. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

He knows better now. Or at least knows to keep any thoughts like that entirely to himself. He’s a generally very sensible and empathetic person but occasionally this privileged cluelessness blunders through.

There's a new acronym on the block I've seen online - WHMP (pronounced "whimp"). White Heterosexual Men of Privilege. Very apt here.

 

[FL_Sol]

I literally just moved from Peachtree Corners (where this incident took place) and less than a month after a man was killed being carjacked across the street from this Lululemon. Remembering Bradley Coleman, victim in deadly QT shooting - 11Alive.com
I saw some changes in the area and it took a couple of years to convince my husband but finally successfully got him to see what I was seeing and we got out in time.

 

[SparklieBug]

I feel safe. But I am always aware of my surroundings. And I always listen to my intuition

This is me, too. I’ve done this since being in my 20s.

Having a somewhat paranoid mother definitely caused me to up my game. She had had attempts to accost her (complete strangers!) as a young (beautiful) woman. So she was always worried for us, and from her perspective, rightly so.

 

[momofive]

Well, we've basically invited people to steal as no one is held accountable anymore. Nothing is perfect, but it was way better than this.

 

[stracci2000]

Well, we've basically invited people to steal as no one is held accountable anymore. Nothing is perfect, but it was way better than this.

Yesterday, I saw two security guards stop a lady from walking out of the grocery store with merchandise in her purse.
She was stealing Downy dryer scent beads, and some other things. Laundry supplies? Really?

But they recovered the merchandise, and told her not to come in the store anymore. And she walked off into the sunset.
No accountability.

 

[TooPatient]

Well, we've basically invited people to steal as no one is held accountable anymore. Nothing is perfect, but it was way better than this.

Yep. Ugly times here and I see it escalating badly. Where we moved from was the safest city in the country at least once and I think a couple of years running. Used to be I could set my purse down and forget it outside in plain view for a weekend and it would be waiting right where I left it. Now cars are stolen out of garages and homeowners are tied up in home invasions. Glad we got out of that when we did!

 

[Karl_K]

Yesterday, I saw two security guards stop a lady from walking out of the grocery store with merchandise in her purse.
She was stealing Downy dryer scent beads, and some other things. Laundry supplies? Really?

But they recovered the merchandise, and told her not to come in the store anymore. And she walked off into the sunset.
No accountability.

In many areas of IL the prosecutors are under orders not to bring changes for under $1000 in retail theft cases.
In those areas the cops would not even show up if they had called them under those circumstances.
One area of town here is so bad that there is a large grocery store building the city took over after it was abandoned by the 4th chain in 10 years that tried to make a go there and left after a manager was murdered during a robbery a few years back.
They offered it rent and tax free to anyone who would open a grocery store there. No takers.
I think it got torn down eventually.
Some people threatened to sue the city because there are no grocery stores in that area.


Many stores even on the more wealthy sides of town have armed guards now.

 

[monarch64]

Yesterday, I saw two security guards stop a lady from walking out of the grocery store with merchandise in her purse.
She was stealing Downy dryer scent beads, and some other things. Laundry supplies? Really?

But they recovered the merchandise, and told her not to come in the store anymore. And she walked off into the sunset.
No accountability.

No one should have so little money that they feel they have to steal laundry detergent.

What’s the real problem here, you know?

 

[liaerfbv]

No one should have so little money that they feel they have to steal laundry detergent.

What’s the real problem here, you know?

I posted a reply similar to this yesterday and then deleted it because I'm tired of getting piled on by the clueless boomers here on PS... but yeah, I'm not worried about my ****ing safety shopping at Target from petty shoplifting. Maybe we should be asking ourselves why there is such an epidemic of low value/basic necessities shoplifting... maybe because people can't afford to live anymore?

Pay people a living wage and tax the rich and pass gun reform and I'll show myself out now because I know Autumn doesn't want to hear a solution to this problem that isn't Fox News pearl-clutching.

 

[Karl_K]

Maybe we should be asking ourselves why there is such an epidemic of low value/basic necessities shoplifting... maybe because people can't afford to live anymore?

A very large percentage of shoplifting is more of a mental health, drug or medical issue than just not having money.
It's not a loaf of bread being stolen its stuff that can be sold for drug money.
Another large % have the money on them that would have paid for the goods they stole. They a lot of time have mental health or medical issues.
Then you have the underage people trying to steal booze.
They get caught a lot because of all the cameras in that department.
My direct experience is a bit old but if you want to do the research it would confirm I'm close.

 

[liaerfbv]

A very large percentage of shoplifting is more of a mental health, drug or medical issue than just not having money.
It's not a loaf of bread being stolen its stuff that can be sold for drug money.

I agree with you. However my thoughts on drug rehabilitation are not punitive and are community support based... which also starts with paying people a living wage and taxing the rich.

 

[Karl_K]

I agree with you. However my thoughts on drug rehabilitation are not punitive and are community support based... which also starts with paying people a living wage and taxing the rich.

I don't disagree on taxes, but we probably disagree on how to do it.
Since we are stuck with income tax it should be a flat tax, the first 50k or so is tax free then a flat tax on the rest that is the same for everyone. No deductions, no fuzzy math no chance to cheat.

Higher wages have to come from somewhere and the resulting higher price are going to turn it negative for a lot of people.
What the higher price don't take landlords will by doubling the rent. So in the end the rich get the $$.
It is happening here right now.
Those on a fixed income are in serious trouble as they get the negatives and none of the advantages.

 

[stracci2000]

This is the exact product she was stealing. My company represents Downy, so I'm familiar with this item.

She wasn't destitute and needing clean clothes.
It makes your clothes smell pretty. It's called a scent booster. That's all it does.
Absolutely a luxury item. And you see the cost for such a thing.
She wanted it, and didn't want to pay $15.99 which is completely ridiculous for what it is.

 

[liaerfbv]

This is the exact product she was stealing. My company represents Downy, so I'm familiar with this item.

She wasn't destitute and needing clean clothes.
It makes your clothes smell pretty. It's called a scent booster. That's all it does.
Absolutely a luxury item. And you see the cost for such a thing.
She wanted it, and didn't want to pay $15.99 which is completely ridiculous for what it is.

You're absolutely right. Poor people don't deserve nice smelling laundry.

 

[monarch64]

You're absolutely right. Poor people don't deserve nice smelling laundry.

I typed out a lengthier response but I just don’t have the energy these days to get into this same old shit here. It’s pointless, the bubble of privilege is impenetrable.

 

[stracci2000]

You're absolutely right. Poor people don't deserve nice smelling laundry.

Stealing from the store so you can have nice smelling laundry isn't right, no matter how you spin it.

I've worked in retail a really long time, and I've seen quite a bit over the years.
Most thieves steal luxuries like steaks and liquor, not milk and bread to feed their kids.

A lady once approached me at a gas station trying to sell me Tide Pods. (The large size sells for almost $30.00)
I asked where she stole it from, and she walked away from me.
Tide Pods are big business for thieves that's why many stores have them locked up now, same as baby formula, razors and other expensive items.
They steal it to resell, as @Karl_K said above.

If anyone thinks the majority of thieves are destitute, they need to talk to more retail employees who witness it all.

As a side note, I now know what fentanyl smells like, thanks to the low life scum who smoke it in public restrooms.
And so, most groceries and concenience stores now are forced to lock their rest rooms.
Sorry for the rant, but I see it every day in my sales job. The casual shopper has no clue.

 

[stracci2000]

It's not a loaf of bread being stolen its stuff that can be sold for drug money.

This ^

 

[yssie]

At the end of the line, anything stolen for drug money is either used to manufacture drugs or sold to someone who needs it and is willing to pay for it, even if that means buying from an addict.

And since I’m not really seeing how someone can use tide pods to manufacture drugs, that means that there are people who need laundry detergent and who can’t afford to buy retail, so they buy stolen goods…

Which, yeah, that’s a f’n big societal problem.

 

[stracci2000]

There's always a buyer for stolen goods.
Nobody NEEDS Tide Pods.
Ajax, All, Purex.....lower priced detergents clean your clothes, and cost much less.
But Tide is a premium product that people want, and so they don't mind buying stolen Tide.
It sucks all around, because prices keep going up to cover loss from theft.

 

[monarch64]

@stracci2000

I spent many years in retail as well. My experience was more on the apparel side and in upscale stores, although I did put in a couple years in grocery and discount big box.

EBT, or food stamps, should cover basic necessities. I’m sure you know that it doesn’t cover toilet paper, cleaning supplies, feminine products, razors, nor laundry supplies.

My thoughts are that instead of worrying about how poors don’t deserve expensive laundry additives maybe we should brainstorm how the US can expand financial safety nets to include ALL and Purex…

 

[stracci2000]

I’m sure you know that it doesn’t cover toilet paper, cleaning supplies, feminine products, razors, nor laundry supplies.

As a former cashier, I know that there is a cash benefit attached to their EBT accounts where the recipient can withdraw cash from ATMs to pay for non-food items like toilet paper, detergent, etc.

Of course, I have no idea if the lady in question is an EBT recipient or not.
All I know, is that I witnessed security guards stopping her at the door with stolen items in her purse.

 

[Karl_K]

To answer the question in the topic.
In general I don't have any issues with me or my wifey going to local stores near me.
I refuse and will not let my wifey go to gas stations or drug stores after 7pm.

 

[Calliecake]

I went shopping at a nearby mall today. It was busy. There seemed to be more security people today than they had last month. School’s are out for summer, maybe that’s the reason? I’ve always been cautious and aware of my surroundings and generally don’t feel unsafe while shopping. Something bad could happen to any of us at any time.