I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[PintoBean]

@canuk-gal We met my parents for dinner tonight and they gave my daughter a purple ukulele for Valentines Day. She and I were looking at YouTube videos of people playing the uke for inspiration. Guess what we found? A cover of Havana, and man is it the cutest. It’s by an American teacher who was teaching English in Spain. Her students kept asking her to cover the song and she promised them she would if they made YouTube videos in English. It’s adorable. Thought I would share it with you!

I can't stand how nasally camillas voice is. The teachers version is sooo much better lolol IMHO

 

[PintoBean]

No, she's brash, spoiled, princess-like, entitled, LOUD, talks over people, and believes her position on anything is the only correct one. She is a self-proclaimed proud millennial but she exhibits more of the negative stereotyped traits than the positive. Not sure if SS truly loves her or is enamored with what he claims is their "sexual chemistry" or if he's feeling pressure to marry because his core group of lifelong friends are all married with children and his support base is eroded or a combo of all of it. An important criteria on his list for a mate is that she be successful in a career and financially independent and she is both. There's more to it than just that. A few major red flags are apparent to his father and me but we will do what is right and remain silent unless he asks for input. As I said above, DH and I are relieved that our in-person visits will be brief.

Wait I'm shopping for a MIL - I'll let you wear my bling! I don't even need to marry your sons lololol!

 

[PintoBean]

Ooooo even though it's Venereal Disease day, I have a valentine and her name is @mochiko42 (somebody photo bombed)

 

[canuk-gal]

Ooooo even though it's Venereal Disease day, I have a valentine and her name is @mochiko42 (somebody photo bombed)

SOOOOOO cute. What sweet friends (furry and human)!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Cozystitches]

Sigh. Hubs is so sweet! He bought me a bracelet for Valentines Day (LV super delicate), but its too small. And I'm worried about how delicate it is, we went to a maul store to find an extender, but it kind of soured the whole gift. I'm not sure how to go about this whole issue.

 

[PintoBean]

Sigh. Hubs is so sweet! He bought me a bracelet for Valentines Day (LV super delicate), but its too small. And I'm worried about how delicate it is, we went to a maul store to find an extender, but it kind of soured the whole gift. I'm not sure how to go about this whole issue.

Can you show us the bracelet so that we can help you brainstorm?

Also worth calling LV customer service and ask them for suggestions.

 

[Cozystitches]

Can you show us the bracelet so that we can help you brainstorm?

Also worth calling LV customer service and ask them for suggestions.

But I want Cartier Love. Don't mind me....ungrateful wretch that I am. As for what he bought it's the Idylle Bracelet. Its tight, I need like 1/2" or so....

 

[junebug17]

Sigh. Hubs is so sweet! He bought me a bracelet for Valentines Day (LV super delicate), but its too small. And I'm worried about how delicate it is, we went to a maul store to find an extender, but it kind of soured the whole gift. I'm not sure how to go about this whole issue.

Aw, I'm sorry CS, it was really sweet of him. Is the issue you don't want to hurt his feelings, or is it that it's too late to return it? If it's too small you have a valid reason for a return.

ETA - just saw your pic, it's really pretty! Maybe a jeweler could make a small extender for it? And you're not an ungrateful wretch, believe me!

 

[Cozystitches]

Aw, I'm sorry CZ, it was really sweet of him. Is the issue you don't want to hurt his feelings, or is it that it's too late to return it? If it's too small you have a valid reason for a return.

ETA - just saw your pic, it's really pretty! Maybe a jeweler could make a small extender for it? And you're not a brat, believe me!

I don't want to hurt his feelings . I don't think its too late to return, but I really don't want to hurt him. It is really pretty, we actually went to Helzberg (yeah, I know) and met their jeweler who is able to add an extender, but still....

 

[PintoBean]

I don't want to hurt his feelings . I don't think its too late to return, but I really don't want to hurt him. It is really pretty, we actually went to Helzberg (yeah, I know) and met their jeweler who is able to add an extender, but still....

Will he accept it if you tell him that it's beautiful but it's too delicate for every day wear? And then tell him you'd like to look at the love bracelet with him to see if it's sturdier and more suited for your lifestyle?

 

[PintoBean]

If you plan on keeping the bracelet, @Cozystitches, find out if LV will extend it for free.

 

[Cozystitches]

Will he accept it if you tell him that it's beautiful but it's too delicate for every day wear? And then tell him you'd like to look at the love bracelet with him to see if it's sturdier and more suited for your lifestyle?

I mentioned that it was delicate...he's still thinking the extender and if it breaks, then we do the make it into a necklace route. He saw the LOVE, and the price and laughed at me, said I was crazy. I may try again in a day or so. We're heading to a place that has both LV and Cartier...may talk of return then.

 

[Cozystitches]

If you plan on keeping the bracelet, @Cozystitches, find out if LV will extend it for free.

This is what I was thinking, I sent them a message through their FB, but I don't expect an answer soon. Probably find out more tomorrow.

 

[PintoBean]

This is what I was thinking, I sent them a message through their FB, but I don't expect an answer soon. Probably find out more tomorrow.

Call them their advisors are available till 12 am central

 

[missy]

Ooooo even though it's Venereal Disease day, I have a valentine and her name is @mochiko42 (somebody photo bombed)

Awww how sweet! (((HUGS))) @PintoBean and (((HUGS))) @mochiko42! Hey PB is mochiko visiting any time soon? I want in on a play date pretty please.

 

[missy]

Sigh. Hubs is so sweet! He bought me a bracelet for Valentines Day (LV super delicate), but its too small. And I'm worried about how delicate it is, we went to a maul store to find an extender, but it kind of soured the whole gift. I'm not sure how to go about this whole issue.

Aww your dh is a sweetie and wants you to be happy and I think any hurt feelings will be temporary only. Another vote for return and get the Cartier Love or use that money towards the purchase at a future date when you can make it happen!!! Don't settle...remember you can tell your dh you didnt settle and waited for him to come along and sweep you off your feet. Same for the bracelet. Get what you want and do not settle. (and you are so NOT an ungrateful wretch...we know what we love and what we want and that is good). JMO though and whatever you decide I know you will rock it!

 

[Cozystitches]

Thanks, guys. I still feel awful, couldn't sleep last night because of this. Sigh, now to figure out how to tell dh. I am hoping to convince him about the delicateness of it and that I love the thought (doesn't help that the ladies in his office loved it and said I'm a fool if I don't like it :roll), I am just super worried about breakage. Add to the fact that I don't change my jewelry, and need something more robust. I do like the idea of putting at least part of what he spent onto a future purchase.

 

[missy]

Thanks, guys. I still feel awful, couldn't sleep last night because of this. Sigh, now to figure out how to tell dh. I am hoping to convince him about the delicateness of it and that I love the thought (doesn't help that the ladies in his office loved it and said I'm a fool if I don't like it :roll), I am just super worried about breakage. Add to the fact that I don't change my jewelry, and need something more robust. I do like the idea of putting at least part of what he spent onto a future purchase.

Cozy we are all different and have different ways of communicating and sharing etc but I want you to know I had a similar conundrum maybe even more delicate a situation as we had just gotten engaged and I didnt love my ER. Well I was relieved and happy to be able to discuss it honestly with my FI (dh now) and he was hurt at first but he realized quickly that I loved him and the effort he put in but since we are the ones who are wearing the jewelry we should be the ones who love what we are wearing. Being the smart and sweet guy that he is he got that very shortly after I gently broke it to him and we made the situation right for me. And ultimately that makes it right for our dhs too. Happy wife happy life is often repeated for a reason. It has a lot of truth in it. I am not saying this is what you should do but rather this is what I would do if I was in your situation. But if your dh is anything like my dh he would probably appreciate your honesty and in return you would both be happiest. Hugs and good luck. No matter what you know your dh loves and adores you and that is what matters here anyway.

 

[Cozystitches]

Thanks for your story @missy ! I'm hoping he'll take it well. I did call LV and asked if I can do a return for refund, she said yes. The only thing I've done is tried it on. Now, I may have started looking at the preloved Love (which I've wanted for FIVE YEARS apparently!) and that seems reasonable (but still crazy). Any one have good experience w/ 1stDibs?

 

[missy]

Thanks for your story @missy ! I'm hoping he'll take it well. I did call LV and asked if I can do a return for refund, she said yes. The only thing I've done is tried it on. Now, I may have started looking at the preloved Love (which I've wanted for FIVE YEARS apparently!) and that seems reasonable (but still crazy). Any one have good experience w/ 1stDibs?

You're welcome and I hope it works out well for you. Just wanted to chime in about First Dibs. Don't buy on first dibs. The mark up is NUTZ. Dealers/vendors I trust have told me this. Instead if you find something you love on first dibs contact the seller directly. It may be challenging to find who the seller is as First Dibs does not want you to do this but whatever you do don't buy directly on First Dibs. Huge markup.

 

[PintoBean]

Thanks for your story @missy ! I'm hoping he'll take it well. I did call LV and asked if I can do a return for refund, she said yes. The only thing I've done is tried it on. Now, I may have started looking at the preloved Love (which I've wanted for FIVE YEARS apparently!) and that seems reasonable (but still crazy). Any one have good experience w/ 1stDibs?

Have you tried a love on to determine your size? Once you have that nailed down we can help look at preloved ones for you.

The other thing you can do is negotiate the love as like 8 years of birthday anniversary Christmas Mother's Day wifey day Valentine's Day gifts lololol

 

[Cozystitches]

You're welcome and I hope it works out well for you. Just wanted to chime in about First Dibs. Don't buy on first dibs. The mark up is NUTZ. Dealers/vendors I trust have told me this. Instead if you find something you love on first dibs contact the seller directly. It may be challenging to find who the seller is as First Dibs does not want you to do this but whatever you do don't buy directly on First Dibs. Huge markup.

@missy Thanks for the heads up. I will look into 1stdibs further. The bracelet I'm interested in doesn't have the paperwork, which concerns me. Any thoughts on radcliffe jewelers on eBay?

 

[Cozystitches]

Have you tried a love on to determine your size? Once you have that nailed down we can help look at preloved ones for you.

The other thing you can do is negotiate the love as like 8 years of birthday anniversary Christmas Mother's Day wifey day Valentine's Day gifts lololol

@PintoBean I do know my size: 19. Wanting the Rose Gold. Sigh...

I tried the subtle route earlier (too dainty & small) to which he replied wear for special occasions and lose weight (not judgy, but more great job you're working out!). :roll Sigh...I'm going to have to go more direct.

 

[TooPatient]

@PintoBean I do know my size: 19. Wanting the Rose Gold. Sigh...

I tried the subtle route earlier (too dainty & small) to which he replied wear for special occasions and lose weight (not judgy, but more great job you're working out!). :roll Sigh...I'm going to have to go more direct.

You can be more direct but soften it with how beautiful it is and you want to trade it for something that is made more so you can wear it every day and be reminded of how thoughtful he is every time you look at it. He put time and thought into it so you would like to appreciate that by wearing it rather than tucking it away afraid it will break...

 

[missy]

@missy Thanks for the heads up. I will look into 1stdibs further. The bracelet I'm interested in doesn't have the paperwork, which concerns me. Any thoughts on radcliffe jewelers on eBay?

I am not familiar with radcliffe jewelers I'm sorry. Here are some reviews I found and maybe it will help. I always read the negative reviews first and then go by date after that as in most recent -haha that was @PintoBean's rec the date thing.

They don't have any negative or natural reviews on eBay. But only 204 positive reviews. Still they look pretty good. Do they have a good return policy? You could start a thread asking if anyone has any experience with them.

https://www.marketplacepulse.com/ebay/usa/radcliffe_jewelers

 

[missy]

As I get older some friendships get more complicated. When I was young it really was easy. Making and keeping friends. I still have my best friends from the 80s. We talk all the time and I know despite everyone having such busy lives they are here for me and I am here for them. I was never a game player when it came to people and their feelings and relationships so didn't have that aggravation or nonsense. I am an open book. I didn't hang out with people who played games and such.

Now I am in a quandary. And sad. Because I don't want to play games and I have this friend who I will call "G" I thought would be a friend for life but now I question it all because G's behavior shows me G doesn't want to be close to me anymore. Yes I am sad but more so than anything I just want to know now instead of dragging it out if you kwim. Sometimes you mourn the loss of not as much the friendship but what you thought that friendship was and you find out you are all wrong. I just want to know if I was all wrong and we never really had what I thought we had.

I wish G all the best but perhaps our friendship isn't the best fit for either of us anymore. And I just wish G would make it clear either way. I am a communicator and believe in being open and upfront and honest and I don't see the point in game playing when it comes to relationships and feelings and the potential for great hurt.

I know it isn't about me but rather what this friend is going through but I am getting hurt in the crossfire and being made to feel as if I have done something wrong or been less of the good friend that I have been to G.

We all are imperfect in some/many ways. But if you have a true friendship you don't throw it away when the going gets tough or things go awry. You work it out if you truly care about each other.

 

[december-fire]

@canuk-gal We met my parents for dinner tonight and they gave my daughter a purple ukulele for Valentines Day. She and I were looking at YouTube videos of people playing the uke for inspiration. Guess what we found? A cover of Havana, and man is it the cutest. It’s by an American teacher who was teaching English in Spain. Her students kept asking her to cover the song and she promised them she would if they made YouTube videos in English. It’s adorable. Thought I would share it with you!

She's wonderful! Love her facial expressions and personality as well as her voice!
I took at look at her youtube channel (is that the terminology?) and listened to one of her own compositions. Great as well!

her channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsY1BLbqYnHeDPjiA8uHxYw

 

[junebug17]

Missy, I'm sorry! It's upsetting when the dynamics of a friendship changes and we're not sure why. I had a situation where a friend was cold and distant towards me for a while, and in hindsight I think it was because she was upset about a situation with her daughter. I never brought it up and things seem normal now but I did feel confused and hurt at the time. I don't know, maybe your friend just needs some time to herself to work things out. It seems counterintuitive because you would think your friend would want your support during a tough time but people handle stress in different ways. You could try talking to her about it if you feel comfortable doing that. I hope things work out!

 

[december-fire]

Don't mind me....ungrateful wretch that I am.

I mentioned that it was delicate...he's still thinking the extender and if it breaks, then we do the make it into a necklace route. He saw the LOVE, and the price and laughed at me, said I was crazy.

I still feel awful, couldn't sleep last night because of this. Sigh, now to figure out how to tell dh. I am hoping to convince him about the delicateness of it and that I love the thought (doesn't help that the ladies in his office loved it and said I'm a fool if I don't like it :roll), I am just super worried about breakage. Add to the fact that I don't change my jewelry, and need something more robust. I do like the idea of putting at least part of what he spent onto a future purchase.

I tried the subtle route earlier (too dainty & small) to which he replied wear for special occasions and lose weight (not judgy, but more great job you're working out!). :roll Sigh...I'm going to have to go more direct.

You are not ungrateful!
You are not crazy!
You are not a fool for not loving this particular bracelet!

Yeah, yeah, its the 'thought that counts'.
The 'thought' being that your DH bought you jewellery. Not inexpensive, either.
Well, what about the 'thought' of giving someone something that they love and will enjoy wearing?
Isn't that the purpose of a gift?
Its for you. Not the ladies in the office. Not so your DH can say he bought you something expensive - leaving off the part about how you didn't request this piece, don't love it and won't often wear it.
Some couples have 'personal fun money' for each of them in the household budget. Maybe the cost of this bracelet is from your DH's 'personal' money, rather than the household budget. But, if not, then I consider a gift from a spouse to be partly funded by the receiving spouse.

Sorry for the bit of a rant, but this is a pet peeve of mine.

I hope you can explain to your DH that you love him, the fact that he wanted to give you a piece of jewellery, but that you hate the thought of money spent on an item that you won't wear (often), won't be comfortable wearing, and doesn't really bring you joy based on its appearance - that you would rather wait/save/buy pre-loved something that you'd be thrilled with and wear frequently.
Does he really want to see it sit in a jewellery box and only be worn occasionally?
If that doesn't bother him, but you've explained that you'd feel terrible about that, then shouldn't he be more concerned about your feelings, since this is supposed to be a gift for you?

Been there myself a couple of times.
First time it happened, I said I'd much rather have something else and returned it to get what I really wanted.
Never regretted that decision.
More recently (different man was the gift-giver), it was a less-expensive gift and I said nothing (other than thanks, of course), but the gift doesn't get worn. Waste of money.

Since I'm ranting (sorry!), I might as well add that there isn't necessarily a lot of thought that goes into a gift even if the item is expensive. I can walk into a jewellery store, tell them how much I want to spend, and be out of there in under 15 minutes.

You're obviously not as direct - or cruel - as me, but I hope you're able to explain to your DH that if you have a choice, you'd much rather have the Love bracelet at some point in time, preloved, or instead of less expensive gifts for various occasions.

Did I mention I hate expensive jewellery surprises?

 

[december-fire]

Missy, I'm sorry! It's upsetting when the dynamics of a friendship changes and we're not sure why. I had a situation where a friend was cold and distant towards me for a while, and in hindsight I think it was because she was upset about a situation with her daughter. I never brought it up and things seem normal now but I did feel confused and hurt at the time. I don't know, maybe your friend just needs some time to herself to work things out. It seems counterintuitive because you would think your friend would want your support during a tough time but people handle stress in different ways. You could try talking to her about it if you feel comfortable doing that. I hope things work out!

Exactly what I was wondering!

@missy , I'm so sorry you're going through this.
You said G is going through something but you're getting hurt in the crossfire. Is it possible to follow @junebug17 's suggestions to either give G some time or talk to her about it?
Perhaps just check in with her to ensure everything is ok between the two of you; not the issue she's dealing with that doesn't involve you because she may not be comfortable sharing.
Not sure how to handle the crossfire part. That's not good.
I hope the situation improves. It would be a shame to have a friendship end due to external factors - not the two people themselves.