I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[december-fire]

Call me an overachiever.

Developed DSS prior to purchasing a diamond.

Thanks PS.

 

[Cozystitches]

You are not ungrateful!
You are not crazy!
You are not a fool for not loving this particular bracelet!

Yeah, yeah, its the 'thought that counts'.
The 'thought' being that your DH bought you jewellery. Not inexpensive, either.
Well, what about the 'thought' of giving someone something that they love and will enjoy wearing?
Isn't that the purpose of a gift?
Its for you. Not the ladies in the office. Not so your DH can say he bought you something expensive - leaving off the part about how you didn't request this piece, don't love it and won't often wear it.
Some couples have 'personal fun money' for each of them in the household budget. Maybe the cost of this bracelet is from your DH's 'personal' money, rather than the household budget. But, if not, then I consider a gift from a spouse to be partly funded by the receiving spouse.

Sorry for the bit of a rant, but this is a pet peeve of mine.

I hope you can explain to your DH that you love him, the fact that he wanted to give you a piece of jewellery, but that you hate the thought of money spent on an item that you won't wear (often), won't be comfortable wearing, and doesn't really bring you joy based on its appearance - that you would rather wait/save/buy pre-loved something that you'd be thrilled with and wear frequently.
Does he really want to see it sit in a jewellery box and only be worn occasionally?
If that doesn't bother him, but you've explained that you'd feel terrible about that, then shouldn't he be more concerned about your feelings, since this is supposed to be a gift for you?

Been there myself a couple of times.
First time it happened, I said I'd much rather have something else and returned it to get what I really wanted.
Never regretted that decision.
More recently (different man was the gift-giver), it was a less-expensive gift and I said nothing (other than thanks, of course), but the gift doesn't get worn. Waste of money.

Since I'm ranting (sorry!), I might as well add that there isn't necessarily a lot of thought that goes into a gift even if the item is expensive. I can walk into a jewellery store, tell them how much I want to spend, and be out of there in under 15 minutes.

You're obviously not as direct - or cruel - as me, but I hope you're able to explain to your DH that if you have a choice, you'd much rather have the Love bracelet at some point in time, preloved, or instead of less expensive gifts for various occasions.

Did I mention I hate expensive jewellery surprises?

LOL DF! Love you! Love your post...lol I have mentioned it now a few times, and I will make sure that by this weekend he knows that it needs to be returned. I do feel better about it, and am hoping he's ok with it. The money is from household, however he makes almost twice what I do (WTH aren't teachers paid more? Seriously! I have my Masters! Grrrr )...so he can think of it as more his funds. I've looked at the LOVE, and preloved still makes me nervous because of the number of fakes out there....but still.... Thank you for your post! <3

 

[december-fire]

@Cozystitches , what a relief!
Sometimes I forget to do the 'smile and nod', and I say what I really think.
I was concerned that I was a bit harsh.
Although, in my defense, I left off suggesting that you re-gift the bracelet to your DH if he thinks its so wonderful and he can wear it.

Thank you for being a teacher, despite the salary. I'm sure you're a great teacher.

Tell your DH you're priceless and should get a brand new LOVE bracelet!

 

[Cozystitches]

@Cozystitches , what a relief!
Sometimes I forget to do the 'smile and nod', and I say what I really think.
I was concerned that I was a bit harsh.
Although, in my defense, I left off suggesting that you re-gift the bracelet to your DH if he thinks its so wonderful and he can wear it.

Thank you for being a teacher, despite the salary. I'm sure you're a great teacher.

Tell your DH you're priceless and should get a brand new LOVE bracelet!

HAHAHAHA! I had thought of mentioning it to DH that HE can wear it if he's that upset You weren't harsh at all, you prefaced that it was part rant (and I took it as a friend offering strong advice because I was a wuss )

I would LOVE to tell him the brand new one because I am priceless But alas, the bank account will disagree! BUT, I did look at the pricing, and honestly the price difference between new and used is not that much (about $1,000). Also, it'd be cheaper to buy it new online Cartier, as the taxes are higher at the boutique (it's in a different city).

 

[december-fire]

HAHAHAHA! I had thought of mentioning it to DH that HE can wear it if he's that upset You weren't harsh at all, you prefaced that it was part rant (and I took it as a friend offering strong advice because I was a wuss )

I would LOVE to tell him the brand new one because I am priceless But alas, the bank account will disagree! BUT, I did look at the pricing, and honestly the price difference between new and used is not that much (about $1,000). Also, it'd be cheaper to buy it new online Cartier, as the taxes are higher at the boutique (it's in a different city).

That settles it!
$1,000 to ensure that you're not getting a fake? A bargain! Peanuts when you consider the years of enjoyment you'll get from it!

Let's get that baby wrapped and on its way to you!

 

[Cozystitches]

That settles it!
$1,000 to ensure that you're not getting a fake? A bargain! Peanuts when you consider the years of enjoyment you'll get from it!

Let's get that baby wrapped and on its way to you!

Sure....and DF, your credit card number is???? Or did you just want me to send you my addy?

 

[missy]

Sending well wishes to a certain PS furbaby. Hope she is feeling all better.

 

[Cozystitches]

Oh dear....Hubs thinks I'm still wanting to keep the bracelet. Will have to talk w/o children present to make fun of him.

 

[missy]

Oh dear....Hubs thinks I'm still wanting to keep the bracelet. Will have to talk w/o children present to make fun of him.

Aww sorry it’s proving harder than you had hoped. Direct but gentle. Makes the difference. Say it with love and it will work out. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[lyra]

I hope it works out for you @Cozystitches. As it stands, I see it from the practical viewpoint that what he bought doesn't work for you, and is therefore a waste of money. Why can't husbands be more reasonable about the bling, lol. You're just trying to be reasonable and fiscally responsible IMO.

 

[Austina]

@Cozystitches maybe I’m not the best person to be contributing here because I have no sentimental attachment to anything, but as someone whose husband used to buy me things I simply didn’t like, I feel if the message isn’t getting through, then you just need to be blunt.

My OH now never buys me gifts, but instead says if you see something you’d like, or what would you like. It works out much better because he’s not wasting money on things that won’t get worn, and I don’t have the faff of returning them. Do I mind that I’m not surprised, he’ll no, I’d much rather have something I truly want.

I’m sure you’re DH will be upset, but hopefully he’ll see you’re not being ungrateful of his thought and effort, but just wanting to ensure that you’re both happy with an expensive gift.

 

[Cozystitches]

@missy @december-fire @lyra @Austina and everyone else: Thank you all for your advice and thoughts. DH actually brought it up and hit the nail on the head, that I didn't want to hurt his feelings. The situation is cleared up, he's not super happy but hopefully he understands. He did ask if this meant that he no longer had to buy presents, but I guess in his mind I have to be surprised by his present :roll. Oh well, hopefully I explained, but either way the bracelet will be returned and (hopefully) the funds will be in a "future sparklie" account.

On a slightly happier note: was in Cartier today, tried on a 20, learned that it's too big and that 19 is the size for me. Now to continue to save, adding pennies to the bucket and eventually I should have it!

 

[missy]

@missy @december-fire @lyra @Austina and everyone else: Thank you all for your advice and thoughts. DH actually brought it up and hit the nail on the head, that I didn't want to hurt his feelings. The situation is cleared up, he's not super happy but hopefully he understands. He did ask if this meant that he no longer had to buy presents, but I guess in his mind I have to be surprised by his present :roll. Oh well, hopefully I explained, but either way the bracelet will be returned and (hopefully) the funds will be in a "future sparklie" account.

On a slightly happier note: was in Cartier today, tried on a 20, learned that it's too big and that 19 is the size for me. Now to continue to save, adding pennies to the bucket and eventually I should have it!

Yay for eventually being able to get exactly what you want Cozy. I am glad you cleared this up with your dh and I am sure he will feel much better about it as the days go on when he has had sufficient time to contemplate and understand your perspective completely.

As for the gifts and surprises here is a suggestion that may work for you guys. My dh and I did this for the first decade or so of our marriage and though we no longer do this (we just tell each other what we want now and buy it haha so romantic) it worked well while we did. We each put a list of let's say 10 items we wanted and then for each occasion we would surprise the other with one of the items on the list. So basically you are getting a surprise though you have specifically picked what you wanted to get as a gift. For bling of course I would have to choose it myself but he would always accompany me and be there with me while I was choosing it.

And good news finding out exactly what size you are for the Cartier bracelet so now you are ready when the time is right. Keep an eye on preloved for a good deal and if I should see one at a good price in a size 19 I will contact you ASAP.

 

[Cozystitches]

Yay for eventually being able to get exactly what you want Cozy. I am glad you cleared this up with your dh and I am sure he will feel much better about it as the days go on when he has had sufficient time to contemplate and understand your perspective completely.

As for the gifts and surprises here is a suggestion that may work for you guys. My dh and I did this for the first decade or so of our marriage and though we no longer do this (we just tell each other what we want now and buy it haha so romantic) it worked well while we did. We each put a list of let's say 10 items we wanted and then for each occasion we would surprise the other with one of the items on the list. So basically you are getting a surprise though you have specifically picked what you wanted to get as a gift. For bling of course I would have to choose it myself but he would always accompany me and be there with me while I was choosing it.

And good news finding out exactly what size you are for the Cartier bracelet so now you are ready when the time is right. Keep an eye on preloved for a good deal and if I should see one at a good price in a size 19 I will contact you ASAP.

We've tried the list before (years ago, but I put things on there that I only slightly wanted, which he gravitated toward: handtowels :roll) but it may be a good idea to revisit!

 

[VRBeauty]

Just can't get over Fergie's incredibly awful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. What aspect of the National Anthem, exactly, inspired her to give it the torch song treatment?

 

[redwood66]

Just can't get over Fergie's incredibly awful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. What aspect of the National Anthem, exactly, inspired her to give it the torch song treatment?

I agree with the twitter person who said it was in the key of "Happy Birthday Mr. President" - Just awful.

 

[tyty333]

I agree with the twitter person who said it was in the key of "Happy Birthday Mr. President" - Just awful.

The look on some of those basketball player's faces...I think the cheering at the end was because everyone was glad she was finished!

 

[PintoBean]

I had a dream that there was scurrying in the walls and a friend pulled open a wall vent and out popped a black and white cat, healthy and plump. I guess this means I am pregnant with a cat.

 

[mary poppins]

Congratulations @PintoBean!! That will make for the most fun baby shower ever!

Grrr, c'mon NBC. Why did you just show an hour of Olympic hockey and then return to ice skating at 11:50 pm?!?! I need to go to bed and get up at a reasonable hour so I can be productive tomorrow. I hope skating wraps up within a 1/2 hour. The top contenders are so close that I want to see the end.

Oh no, it's back to hockey. Pfft.

 

[House Cat]

I agree with the twitter person who said it was in the key of "Happy Birthday Mr. President" - Just awful.

In the mood of it too. Who sexes up The Star Spangled Banner?

In high school, our choir instructor had us sing this jazz rendition of The Star Spangled Banner. It started out very normal until you got to the word “see” then it hit this awful minor note and the whole song downhill from there. The problem was that the tempo wasn’t jazzy. To the normal ear, we just sounded like we were missing the notes terribly.

We had to sing that stupid version of that song at every sporting event and major gathering for the entire year. People made fun of us! We were a very respected madrigal group! We were paid for our time and we won awards!

It just goes to show you that you just don’t mess with The Star Spangled Banner. People want to hear it just as it is.

 

[Cozystitches]

Posting here where you all will understand: Text hubby re: order # on the bracelet that I'm returning. His answer: IDK I deleted everything. I'm sure I can find the information (I looked briefly in the paperwork that I had) at home, its just stressful and makes me sad here at work. Sigh....good thoughts that I can successfully return for a refund.

 

[december-fire]

Posting here where you all will understand: Text hubby re: order # on the bracelet that I'm returning. His answer: IDK I deleted everything. I'm sure I can find the information (I looked briefly in the paperwork that I had) at home, its just stressful and makes me sad here at work. Sigh....good thoughts that I can successfully return for a refund.

It will be OK.
Take a deep breath.
My first thought is to contact the store with whatever info you have; date purchased, your DH's name, method of payment (might help if credit card, but I'm not sure), etc.
Check on the return period, so you can take a breath.
Was it an email received from the store he deleted?
Maybe its in his Deleted Folder, but if not, the store would have it in their records.

 

[Cozystitches]

It will be OK.
Take a deep breath.
My first thought is to contact the store with whatever info you have; date purchased, your DH's name, method of payment (might help if credit card, but I'm not sure), etc.
Check on the return period, so you can take a breath.
Was it an email received from the store he deleted?
Maybe its in his Deleted Folder, but if not, the store would have it in their records.

Thanks DF. The big issue is I'm at work...so these options are great at home.... <3 Thanks for your support. I'll be calling Thursday when I'm off.

 

[december-fire]

Thanks DF. The big issue is I'm at work...so these options are great at home.... <3 Thanks for your support. I'll be calling Thursday when I'm off.

Good. You just need to ensure you're within the return period.

We've tried the list before (years ago, but I put things on there that I only slightly wanted, which he gravitated toward: handtowels :roll) but it may be a good idea to revisit!

Might I suggest a list of only one item. Obviously, your list would be the Love bracelet. Period.
Written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror where your DH will see it every day when shaving or brushing his teeth.
Be should to include size, rose gold, etc.

 

[Cozystitches]

Good. You just need to ensure you're within the return period.



Might I suggest a list of only one item. Obviously, your list would be the Love bracelet. Period.
Written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror where your DH will see it every day when shaving or brushing his teeth.
Be should to include size, rose gold, etc.

Also, to update he found the order #...I'll be calling probably tomorrow!

 

[december-fire]

Also, to update he found the order #...I'll be calling probably tomorrow!

Great!

What about creating a 'LOVE Graph'?
x-axis (horizontal) for the date
y-axis (vertical) for the balance
You might want to use a bar chart.

First point to plot will be the day the refund is received and the amount going into your 'bling account'.

Who doesn't love a graph or spreadsheet!

 

[Cozystitches]

Great!

What about creating a 'LOVE Graph'?
x-axis (horizontal) for the date
y-axis (vertical) for the balance
You might want to use a bar chart.

First point to plot will be the day the refund is received and the amount going into your 'bling account'.

Who doesn't love a graph or spreadsheet!

My nerd heart LOVES this!!! :O :O I may actually have to do it...I even have a journal that I could put it into if I don't want a computer version....I can see it now...LOVE...w/hearts..

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I was dressed up all fancy to go out with the girls, blinged to the hilt.

5yo: Mummy you look beautiful. How come you never look like this when you go out with me?
Me: I do honey, I dress up when I go out with you.
5yo: Not the good stuff! Just the cheap cotton dresses.
Me: How about I dress up for our date next week.
5yo: EXACTLY like that? With the good dress and the jewels?
Me: Err yes, exactly like this!
5yo: Even the tiny handbag?
Me: Not the tiny handbag0
5yo: See I knew you wouldn't dress like this for me.
Me: How am I going to carry all your gear and snacks in this tiny handbag?
5yo: You're right Mummy. But you sure will look terrible in that outfit and a backpack.

 

[missy]

I was dressed up all fancy to go out with the girls, blinged to the hilt.

5yo: Mummy you look beautiful. How come you never look like this when you go out with me?
Me: I do honey, I dress up when I go out with you.
5yo: Not the good stuff! Just the cheap cotton dresses.
Me: How about I dress up for our date next week.
5yo: EXACTLY like that? With the good dress and the jewels?
Me: Err yes, exactly like this!
5yo: Even the tiny handbag?
Me: Not the tiny handbag0
5yo: See I knew you wouldn't dress like this for me.
Me: How am I going to carry all your gear and snacks in this tiny handbag?
5yo: You're right Mummy. But you sure will look terrible in that outfit and a backpack.

Oh my she is precious. And hysterical. LOL thank you for sharing. I needed a good laugh. Enjoy your precious sweetie!

 

[missy]

Also, to update he found the order #...I'll be calling probably tomorrow!

Good luck cozy!