I want the old PS, and I want it NOW!!

[Steel]

What exactly is everybody agreeing to? I see many agreeing posts (yet again) but no substance apart from (yet again) the usual contributors.

And for Uppy: What exactly do you want to happen?

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I would like to see the posters build on each others comments. So many times it feels like everybody is just making a comment based on the OP and not the entire thread. In the end, the thread goes nowhere and does not build substance. I also agree with not taking everything so personally. If somebody said, "Sparkly, you are such a dumb blonde" then yes I would be hurt. But, if they said "Sparkly, there is substance to many threads and I think you're just missing it" then I would take a step back and try to pay attention to it more. I like to use a lot of the etc faces because it is so difficult to create a tone of voice in a post.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I would like to see the posters build on each others comments. So many times it feels like everybody is just making a comment based on the OP and not the entire thread. In the end, the thread goes nowhere and does not build substance. I also agree with not taking everything so personally. If somebody said, "Sparkly, you are such a dumb blonde" then yes I would be hurt. But, if they said "Sparkly, there is substance to many threads and I think you're just missing it" then I would take a step back and try to pay attention to it more. I like to use a lot of the etc faces because it is so difficult to create a tone of voice in a post.

I used to do this more - I would read every post and respond to half of them (and not to build posts, I have, by nature, verbose phalanges lol I stopped because I thought it looked like I was trying to pad my numbers hahaha - I have no excuse now, I agree with you about a conversation being more meaty if people follow it through.

 

[Upgradable]

Tell me Upgradable, do you have that commitment to change? How about the rest of you who want to go 'back in time'... are you willing to go on BWW, on SMTB, on LIW and contibute.... even if it means regurgitating information you have already typed ot 1000 times. You guys are the 'old guard' now, it's YOUR responsibility to teach the newbies what this place is about. If you have over 1000 posts, you are now 'a queen' folks. Queens don't just sit on their thrones, they lead and they execute and they help those that need it. If you want to fix PS, just start by changing your mindsets about complaining about how this place has changed and start giving back-- and actually work toward changing it instead of complaining about it.

So many of you, T-Gal, Gypsy, and Garry to name just a couple at the beginning of the thread, have gotten to the heart of what I really wanted to say. I chose the wrong way to express what I was really aiming for: not going back to the old, but remembering what was good about that and attempting to acknowledge where we've come in an attempt to bring a NEW sense of commitment and contribution to Pricescope.

And Gypsy, I am making that commitment for myself right here and now. Although I've never been a prolific poster, I have found that in the last couple years I've become more tentative and blase about my posting, not expending energy in places in which I didn't see the benefit directly to me. I've stopped posting on Rocky Talk because I've seen others who seem to "have it handled." I'm not a LIW or BWW, I'm OLD and didn't see how my perspective could be relevant, let along appreciated or welcome. However, in the spirit of this Glasnost, I hope that those established experts in places like RT, Colored Stones, LIW and BWW, will allow for others to make their opinions and points known without being subject to being belittled or poopoo'd as not knowing as much. We will have to have a renewed patience and encouragement while still not censoring our own thoughts or feelings.

Is this a clarification of my point? I am incredibly heartened to have read so many considered and direct responses to the thread as it is! This kind of personal investment is what I am hoping takes hold again here and allows some of us "queen folk" (apologies to Garry, Karl, and others of the male gender, but you are definitely included in the intent of this term) to sit back and sigh, seeing that all is right again in the Pricescope world.

 

[Matata]

Well I'm feeling a renewed sense of hope. I'll never be a prolific poster. I prefer to measure my words and contribute only where I think I have something of value to say (which limits me considerably) and, of course, I do indulge in fluff posts from time to time just to take the edge off.

When I knew enough to post in RT I was too busy with work. I vowed to myself that when I retired I would contribute there but by the time I was ready, there were many others who had earned their stripes and I felt inadequate.

I became a lurker when the "shoot from the hip" crowd and the "sensitives" starting having regular shoot-outs in Hangout. But, to borrow a few lines from a Dylan song

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

and I'm committed to do what I can to bring conversations back to an interesting, engaging, lively, respectful (with some naughty thrown in because...well, because it can be fun) level.

 

[HollyS]

"Present" meaning being ourselves and not being so cautious about speaking our minds. And as a result, post more freely and more often. Not feeling like we have to worry about how we come across so much as are we being honest and acting in the spirit of Pricescope.

I've been here for years. I used to post every day, often. I got tired of explaining myself.

I no longer give a flying fig whether PS is nice or nasty, as I will not be drawn into the fray again.

You cannot get rid of the drama queens. You won't ever be short of sensitive souls. And no one tells a snarker to hush because they are the entertainment - - and they know it.

Sane people (eventually) recognize when a situation cannot be resolved. It took me awhile, but I capitulated.

 

[Kaleigh]

It's all in the delivery. You can be direct and honest without being mean... I have been here for seven years , and back when I first joined people were very direct. But they weren't mean, well sometimes I thought they were. But heck that was nothing compared to what I see today. Just my 0.2.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

"Present" meaning being ourselves and not being so cautious about speaking our minds. And as a result, post more freely and more often. Not feeling like we have to worry about how we come across so much as are we being honest and acting in the spirit of Pricescope.

I've been here for years. I used to post every day, often. I got tired of explaining myself.

I no longer give a flying fig whether PS is nice or nasty, as I will not be drawn into the fray again.

You cannot get rid of the drama queens. You won't ever be short of sensitive souls. And no one tells a snarker to hush because they are the entertainment - - and they know it.

Sane people (eventually) recognize when a situation cannot be resolved. It took me awhile, but I capitulated.

Isn't it all sort of cyclical? I have only been around for a couple of years, but I imagine (as you said, Holly) there always has been and always will be some drama, sensitivity, snark, trolling, whatever- Especially as PS grows and new people flock to this great resource. And it certainly CAN be entertaining, though not really productive.

I've read posts like this before, and it just leaves me wondering, "So... what WAS the old PS?" Are people looking at the past PS through rose colored glasses, or was it really that much better of a forum? And that's an honest question to which I don't know the answer (as I haven't been around for that long)- perhaps it was a stronger community some 4 or 5 or 7 years ago.

I can't speak for all new-ish members, but I sincerely doubt anyone wants to contribute to the demise of PS. So what's the 'fix'? More honest, thoughtful contributions to ALL parts of this community? Less snark? It might be my own insecurity shining through, but I don't want to be *that* newer poster who is detracting from the PS community. As a poster who was not around during the PS glory days, It's difficult to make a change for the better when I did not experience the 'better time' first-hand.

 

[lyra]

It's all in the delivery. You can be direct and honest without being mean... I have been here for seven years , and back when I first joined people were very direct. But they weren't mean, well sometimes I thought they were. But heck that was nothing compared to what I see today. Just my 0.2.

I agree Kaleigh.

There are a number of posters today who seem to think their bullying, self-centered attitudes are simply being "direct". There is a huge difference.

 

[Steel]

It's all in the delivery. You can be direct and honest without being mean... I have been here for seven years , and back when I first joined people were very direct. But they weren't mean, well sometimes I thought they were. But heck that was nothing compared to what I see today. Just my 0.2.

Sorry to pick you out, but where are all these mean posts? I think that PS suffers from apathy rather than maliciousness.

Once in week maybe there is a heated thread, but it could be as little as once a month. And they only go pear shaped because there are one or two who believe that they know best and are like a dog with a bone. Apart from them the boards are dead, looky-loos lurk and posts get viewed all right but nobody bothers to post so much. Why - IMHO, because it is boring. And when it gets juicy with debate one or two bad apples come in to attack the POV expressed and it gets shut down.

So posting from LIW to RT may not be the issue in my mind, if everybody posts banal posts will you bother to read a 3 page thread of eloquent platitudes? I won't. I come here to learn, to oogle and to be stimulated.

We need to shut down the bad apples, as a group. Bad behaviour should not be tolerated but is it necessary to involve the mods? Perhaps a gentle admonishment from peers may be more effective that the badge of a managerial/mod rebuke. Yes, I’m talking about a good old fashioned gentle shaming.

Then maybe we can get back to debate.

Oooh- on that note: it seems to be a minority characteristic that one can be opposed to a poster's view on one thread and then agree with the same poster on the next thread. So grudges develop and fester...waiting for the next 24 hour or rambunctious thread and then the gloves come off and stories are told about who did what to whom in 1987. Let it go people. Have it out and let it go.
To the mods – maybe that is a direct result of cutting off the flow of such threads while they are in full thrust. Perhaps a warning should be given that the thread will be closed in 5 mins and everybody is invited to have one last post on the subject. Just a thought….

 

[Matata]

[quote="PilsnPinkysMom| It's difficult to make a change for the better when I did not experience the 'better time' first-hand.[/quote]

You don't have to have experience with the old. It's been clearly stated that (1) direct, respectful communication was a hallmark that some feel is not regularly exercised and that some PS posters feel (2) that we have become so worried about offending someone that it constricts conversations.

Here is simplified example that reflects what I find distasteful about the "new" Pricescope. Pretend conversation between Poster * and Poster -- and Poster +

*I like chocolate.
--I don't. I like vanilla.
*Why did you have to say you don't like chocolate. Couldn't you just say you like vanilla or maybe just keep silent?
--I have a right to my opinion and I'll state it as I choose. Why are you discriminating against vanilla?
*I'm not discriminating against vanilla, I just said I like chocolate. I have a right to express my opinion also.
+ Pie anyone?
*I'm sorry if I offended anyone by saying I like chocolate, it was not my intent.

Which then has lead to conversations that start out like this:

*I like chocolate. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings by saying that. Please don't think that I don't like vanilla and strawberry too but chocolate is my favorite.

In the old days the conversation would have been something like this:

*I like chocolate.
--Dark or milk?
*Milk.
+Milk chocolate is not really chocolate, dark chocolate is da bomb.
*LOL, yep, I know, but dark chocolate puts hair on your chest.
*, --, + all go LOL

 

[Porridge]

Mmmmaaaayyyybbbbeeeee if we behave we'll be allowed to discuss the interesting stuff again

We are willing to entertain the idea of bringing back certain topics, but we need to see less mean posts first so we are confident we won't need to babysit that forum all day everyday.

That's great news Ella fingers crossed. I have faith in people!

 

[Maisie]

[quote="PilsnPinkysMom| It's difficult to make a change for the better when I did not experience the 'better time' first-hand.

You don't have to have experience with the old. It's been clearly stated that (1) direct, respectful communication was a hallmark that some feel is not regularly exercised and that some PS posters feel (2) that we have become so worried about offending someone that it constricts conversations.

Here is simplified example that reflects what I find distasteful about the "new" Pricescope. Pretend conversation between Poster * and Poster -- and Poster +

*I like chocolate.
--I don't. I like vanilla.
*Why did you have to say you don't like chocolate. Couldn't you just say you like vanilla or maybe just keep silent?
--I have a right to my opinion and I'll state it as I choose. Why are you discriminating against vanilla?
*I'm not discriminating against vanilla, I just said I like chocolate. I have a right to express my opinion also.
+ Pie anyone?
*I'm sorry if I offended anyone by saying I like chocolate, it was not my intent.

Which then has lead to conversations that start out like this:

*I like chocolate. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings by saying that. Please don't think that I don't like vanilla and strawberry too but chocolate is my favorite.

In the old days the conversation would have been something like this:

*I like chocolate.
--Dark or milk?
*Milk.
+Milk chocolate is not really chocolate, dark chocolate is da bomb.
*LOL, yep, I know, but dark chocolate puts hair on your chest.
*, --, + all go LOL[/quote]

That is such a great example of what PS used to be like!!

 

[Steel]

I don't know if this is crossing a line so Ella, delete it, if it is.

I'm off to point some fingers. This thread is typical of PS these days....

I believe this thread got out of hand on page 3:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jewelry-pet-peeves.151321/

 

[soocool]

I joined here when I needed help looking for a diamond. I was so amazed that there were people who actually spent their time to help me when they did not even know me. And because of that help I have a beautiful ring that I will cherish forever.

I consider PS my big fat extended family. Like the father said in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, some of us are apples and other oranges, but in the end we are all fruit.

Some are younger, some are older, some are naive, some are wordly, we all have something to contribute and I feel we all can learn something not only from one another, but about one another. I love all you guys!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Mmmmaaaayyyybbbbeeeee if we behave we'll be allowed to discuss the interesting stuff again

We are willing to entertain the idea of bringing back certain topics, but we need to see less mean posts first so we are confident we won't need to babysit that forum all day everyday.

politics...

 

[Liane]

Sorry to pick you out, but where are all these mean posts? I think that PS suffers from apathy rather than maliciousness.

I agree with this.

I don't really see a lot of snark here, last couple of days aside. I'm relatively new, was out for several months during the 2.0 changeover (the board didn't work for me so I got out of the habit of trying to load PS, and only came back a couple of weeks ago when I wanted to start a new project as a gift to a friend), and am largely ignorant of all the drama and backstory, so my perspective may be a little different... but, that said, I don't see much snark around here at all. Never have. Sure, sometimes there's a little catfighting, but it is absolutely nothing compared to the free-for-all in most of the other Internet forums I frequent.

If anything, the atmosphere is sometimes stifling. I don't like the forced hyperlinks to PS vendors. I don't like the fact that threads just get erased when there's some reference in them to a now-gone member. Lock them, sure. But erasing them is creepy. It's like disfavored Soviet cronies vanishing from photographs. Whitewashing the record doesn't smooth over hurt feelings, it just makes the participants seethe silently and generally makes me wonder what's going on, and why I can't be allowed to know. It might be forum policy but I don't like it, never have, and occasionally take breaks from the board when I can't deal with the artificial sweetness that sometimes seems necessary to avoid being Disappeared.

For me, that leads to apathy. I realize it's a fine line and it's tough for moderators to navigate between the Scylla of allowing unbridled nastiness and the Charybdis of erasing the forum's personality altogether... but speaking only for myself, personally, sometimes I think the balance is too far toward the latter.

 

[zoebartlett]

[quote="PilsnPinkysMom| It's difficult to make a change for the better when I did not experience the 'better time' first-hand.

You don't have to have experience with the old. It's been clearly stated that (1) direct, respectful communication was a hallmark that some feel is not regularly exercised and that some PS posters feel (2) that we have become so worried about offending someone that it constricts conversations.

Here is simplified example that reflects what I find distasteful about the "new" Pricescope. Pretend conversation between Poster * and Poster -- and Poster +

*I like chocolate.
--I don't. I like vanilla.
*Why did you have to say you don't like chocolate. Couldn't you just say you like vanilla or maybe just keep silent?
--I have a right to my opinion and I'll state it as I choose. Why are you discriminating against vanilla?
*I'm not discriminating against vanilla, I just said I like chocolate. I have a right to express my opinion also.
+ Pie anyone?
*I'm sorry if I offended anyone by saying I like chocolate, it was not my intent.

Which then has lead to conversations that start out like this:

*I like chocolate. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings by saying that. Please don't think that I don't like vanilla and strawberry too but chocolate is my favorite.

In the old days the conversation would have been something like this:

*I like chocolate.
--Dark or milk?
*Milk.
+Milk chocolate is not really chocolate, dark chocolate is da bomb.
*LOL, yep, I know, but dark chocolate puts hair on your chest.
*, --, + all go LOL[/quote]

This made me laugh! Here are my random thoughts:

I've been here for almost 4 years, so long enough to have seen some changes in PS, but not all. It's my understanding that the PS Cafe grew out of posters' desires to have a place to chat about things not necessarily related to diamonds. This is, however, primarily a site devoted to diamonds, CS, and jewelry in general. I've learned so much here.

I'm also really glad that the other forums were created. Those are the ones I hang out in most (and where I feel the most comfortable posting). It's always fun to check out SMTB, RT, and CS and admire pieces and learn from others, but I don't have the same level of expertise as others who post there on a regular basis. I continue to read and learn because it's fun, and I love hearing people's perspectives on things.

I do think forums like PS change over time, as things naturally do, and that's okay. I'm all for being honest, direct, and respectful, and I don't think we'd find posters who would argue with that. Who wants to be in a negative place all the time? I'm sure there will always be drama, snark, and people's feelings getting hurt at one time or another. This (PS) has become a MUCH bigger place than it used to be, and you're not going to please everyone all of the time. I agree with Kaleigh when she said that it's all in the delivery. You can be direct and honest, and that's how it should be. But mean-spirited? No thanks.

So yeah...I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this.

 

[E B]

If anything, the atmosphere is sometimes stifling. I don't like the forced hyperlinks to PS vendors. I don't like the fact that threads just get erased when there's some reference in them to a now-gone member. Lock them, sure. But erasing them is creepy. It's like disfavored Soviet cronies vanishing from photographs. Whitewashing the record doesn't smooth over hurt feelings, it just makes the participants seethe silently and generally makes me wonder what's going on, and why I can't be allowed to know. It might be forum policy but I don't like it, never have, and occasionally take breaks from the board when I can't deal with the artificial sweetness that sometimes seems necessary to avoid being Disappeared.

This is exactly how I feel too. Well said, Liane.

 

[risingsun]

"FIXING" PS is going to be effort and it's going to require commitment. More than just one or three posts. But everyone who really wants this place to work needs to make an effort everyday in every post to be real, accountable, and where possible positive. But they also have to make an effort to click on those 'I need an ideal round immediately post" and answer helpfully. They need to remember that beinga bride is stressful and sometimes the older members just need to go check on the Brides and tell them... "we love you, but you need perspective". It means going on LIW and helping the ladies there separate the wheat from the waste. GIving advice (which won't always be taken) that some guy is NOT it and that they need to move on. It means clicking on SMTR and saying "CONGRATS" when someone has just bought a round in a six prong tiffany solitaire. Because you want to keep THEM invested. And by doing that,
Tell me Upgradable, do you have that commitment to change? How about the rest of you who want to go 'back in time'... are you willing to go on BWW, on SMTB, on LIW and contibute.... even if it means regurgitating information you have already typed ot 1000 times. You guys are the 'old guard' now, it's YOUR responsibility to teach the newbies what this place is about. If you have over 1000 posts, you are now 'a queen' folks. Queens don't just sit on their thrones, they lead and they execute and they help those that need it. If you want to fix PS, just start by changing your mindsets about complaining about how this place has changed and start giving back-- and actually work toward changing it instead of complaining about it.

I am having a real problem here. Everyone is applauding the idea of fixing Pricescope-including Andrey and Ella. Gypsy here spells out numerous ways in which people can be expected to contribute to Pricescope that do not involve posting about the angles of diamonds on Rocky Talky.

Some of us feel that we do contribute to Pricescope when we constantly answer questions about gold in Jewelry Pieces or about colored stones in its forum or when we constantly lend emotional support to others in Hangout and certain threads about health and family.

Gypsy is now exhorting members to do more of this kind of contribution to help, "fix" Pricescope. Yet in the thread about gifts for posters who hit 10,000 postings, we were told that only posters who contribute a lot will get gifts. And the clear implication was that those people had to be contributing in Rocky Talky, like stone_cold! Is listening to new posters and answering their questions about bridal gowns and relationships patiently helpful to Pricescope or not? I know the answer, but I think some other people undervalue the contributions that are made in a less blatant way.

Deb/AGBF

I agree with Deb. I don't think PS is only about Rocky Talky. It's about the experience as a WHOLE. Rocky Talky is only the entrance, for some, to Pricescope when they're choosing a diamond. I think what we're all talking about among seasoned PSers is fostering a spirit of belonging for the long term. Making a positive contribution wherever you can, no matter what forum(s) you favor.

And for heavens sake, I have to say this because no one has yet. Yes, I agree with Uppy in that everyone should be themselves, but that doesn't mean that absolutely everything in your head is fit for print without censoring yourself. I think one of the main differences in the new PS is that people started to hide behind the anonymity of their computers and have become the world's authority on everything. Geez people, if you wouldn't say it if you were face to face with someone over coffee, please don't let it fly here! That's what I think the main difference is. If you're in Hangout, you here to either give or hopefully get some type of support. If you're in the CS forum, you're either there to read and learn, or to say "hey, look at what I just bought". Giving information or receiving acknowledgement. Even SMTB is to say "look at my new sparklie!" and hopefully have others say "nice job", or "oh how pretty", or just "I love that". Let's return PS to the give and take place it was before, and leave behind the competition to out-critcize, out-jab, and out-snark the next guy. Frankly, who wants to be thought of that way? Somewhere a long the line it became a discussion board specializing in criticism and squabbling no matter what forum you visited. This place has gotten very loud. Please use your censor people. Yes, be yourself, but what's so wrong with a little reserve?

I absolutely agree with gemgirl. It seems, these days, that any thread can be turned into a snark fest. Is this supposed to make for a positive experience. I am not talking about rainbows or kittens, either. The tone on these threads tend to become nasty rather than direct, IMO. As others have said, there is a big difference between the two.

 

[E B]

Maybe I just miss all the good drama, but I personally haven't witnessed a ton of snarkiness with the exception of the last couple of deleted posts. Sure, there will be conflict, but that's normal, and I wouldn't automatically classify it as 'meanness.' But that's my opinion, and I hope I don't offend anyone by sharing it.

It would be great if everyone could express their opinions and all others would embrace them, but that isn't realistic. We delve into more complicated, more emotional topics than "Cake or Ice cream?" around here, especially in Hangout, FHH, and in the past, ATW. Do we really need someone locking the thread, deleting our posts and slapping our hands for vocally disagreeing about something? If so, what's the point of discussing anything?

 

[PinkTower]

Sorry to pick you out, but where are all these mean posts? I think that PS suffers from apathy rather than maliciousness.

I agree with this.

I don't really see a lot of snark here, last couple of days aside. I'm relatively new, was out for several months during the 2.0 changeover (the board didn't work for me so I got out of the habit of trying to load PS, and only came back a couple of weeks ago when I wanted to start a new project as a gift to a friend), and am largely ignorant of all the drama and backstory, so my perspective may be a little different... but, that said, I don't see much snark around here at all. Never have. Sure, sometimes there's a little catfighting, but it is absolutely nothing compared to the free-for-all in most of the other Internet forums I frequent.

If anything, the atmosphere is sometimes stifling. I don't like the forced hyperlinks to PS vendors. I don't like the fact that threads just get erased when there's some reference in them to a now-gone member. Lock them, sure. But erasing them is creepy. It's like disfavored Soviet cronies vanishing from photographs. Whitewashing the record doesn't smooth over hurt feelings, it just makes the participants seethe silently and generally makes me wonder what's going on, and why I can't be allowed to know. It might be forum policy but I don't like it, never have, and occasionally take breaks from the board when I can't deal with the artificial sweetness that sometimes seems necessary to avoid being Disappeared.

For me, that leads to apathy. I realize it's a fine line and it's tough for moderators to navigate between the Scylla of allowing unbridled nastiness and the Charybdis of erasing the forum's personality altogether... but speaking only for myself, personally, sometimes I think the balance is too far toward the latter.

I agree with what you wrote, and have nothing to add except that I sure am glad you came back, because your write BEAUTIFULLY. Are you a professional writer?
It sounds weird, but most of the Disappeared Posters that I miss were excellent writers. PP, for example. It did not matter whether or not I agreed with her; I just enjoyed her writing style. Thanks for coming back, Liane!!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

ok--what happened? What did I miss?

 

[Haven]

I'm another poster who doesn't see all of the snarkiness that is supposedly floating around here.

Matata's "new Pricescope" conversation is SPOT ON, and while I'm sure I've been guilty of being overly diplomatic in threads, myself, I wish that we had more frank discussions about matters that extended beyond favorite ice cream flavors.

As for posting in BWW and LIW once we've moved through those phases in our lives, I can say that I do go back in there from time to time. However, I'm under the impression that the current BIWs and LIWs find it irritating when people who have been-there-done-that come back and post. It's the same impression that I get in the Family & Home threads when non-parents post on matters that have anything to do with children--people don't want to hear it. Such situations don't turn snarky, but more dismissive, at least in my experience.

This all feeds into my overall impression that it's rare to find a thread that celebrates an open, frank discussion about a topic worthy of discussion, nowadays. It seems that as a whole, we seek agreement rather than discussion in our threads, which is, in my mind, rather dull.

Of course, none of this has stopped me from continuing to post. I still love PS, and I still come here on a daily basis to chat with my PS friends.

 

[klewis]

I don't know if this is crossing a line so Ella, delete it, if it is.

I'm off to point some fingers. This thread is typical of PS these days....

I believe this thread got out of hand on page 3:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jewelry-pet-peeves.151321/

Steal- I have read page 3 of your link and I don't think it got out of hand at all. Where did it get out of hand do you think? People disagreed, some strongly disagreed but no-one got nasty and the thread continued on it's original topic.

 

[Steel]

I don't know if this is crossing a line so Ella, delete it, if it is.

I'm off to point some fingers. This thread is typical of PS these days....

I believe this thread got out of hand on page 3:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jewelry-pet-peeves.151321/

Steal- I have read page 3 of your link and I don't think it got out of hand at all. Where did it get out of hand do you think? People disagreed, some strongly disagreed but no-one got nasty and the thread continued on it's original topic.

It is typical in that the thread called for opinion and two posters were called out in the name of sexism and possible homophobia for stating their own 'pet peeve'. So much so that one poster decided to apologise for posting her pet jewellery peeve "Well so it's not okay for me to say what I did".

Doesn't that illustrate what is wrong with PS these days?

 

[Matata]

Thanks for taking that one on Steal. I sat here a moment with my mouth hanging open & drooling a bit and decided it was wiser to go off and stuff it full of junk food......

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

As for posting in BWW and LIW once we've moved through those phases in our lives, I can say that I do go back in there from time to time. However, I'm under the impression that the current BIWs and LIWs find it irritating when people who have been-there-done-that come back and post. It's the same impression that I get in the Family & Home threads when non-parents post on matters that have anything to do with children--people don't want to hear it. Such situations don't turn snarky, but more dismissive, at least in my experience.

Actually, as a recent newlywed, I appreciated when former brides chimed in on BWW with advice. Sometimes it's nice to have other brides to hem and haw with, but other times, it's great to get the viewpoint from someone who's been there, done that. Maybe that's just me. I hope the current BIWs don't mind me coming back from time to time to offer my two cents. As for the FHH threads, I try not to respond to posts asking parenting questions. The only advice I can give is how I was parented. But I hear you, Haven. Sometimes I have to stop and think, "is my opinion really needed here?"

 

[ksinger]

I would like to see the posters build on each others comments. So many times it feels like everybody is just making a comment based on the OP and not the entire thread. In the end, the thread goes nowhere and does not build substance. I also agree with not taking everything so personally. If somebody said, "Sparkly, you are such a dumb blonde" then yes I would be hurt. But, if they said "Sparkly, there is substance to many threads and I think you're just missing it" then I would take a step back and try to pay attention to it more. I like to use a lot of the etc faces because it is so difficult to create a tone of voice in a post.

For that of course, you have to have the "stay on topic" Post Police hush up. I got deadly tired of hearing that. God forbid we have a genuine conversation that meanders like...genuine conversation. And of course the ones that go into your post, ignore the actual content or thrust, and pick A SINGLE word... get highly offended by it, and then use it to bludgeon you with or construct a complete mindset and personality traits for you - while later admitting they've hardly read enough of your posts to even get a sense of who you are. That's fun. Of course in their defense, how COULD they really know where we're coming from - since we're not allowed to post what we think, unless we self-censor to the point of somnolence....zzzz, or unless all our posts are "positive".

Nowadays, I post in the thread for cranky old ladies (or old at least by PS standards), and outside of that I'm mostly puppy farts and rainbows, or links with no commentary. About the only thing that manages to get me "wound up" are topics pertaining to education, other than that....meh. Honestly though, all the endless hurt feelings, "I'm OFFENDED!!!!!!", and individual poster naming and subsequent bashing - just makes me want to post less, as do the "disappeared" threads and people.

OK..back to staying out of the fray and being as blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand as possible.

 

[klewis]

I don't know if this is crossing a line so Ella, delete it, if it is.

I'm off to point some fingers. This thread is typical of PS these days....

I believe this thread got out of hand on page 3:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/jewelry-pet-peeves.151321/

Steal- I have read page 3 of your link and I don't think it got out of hand at all. Where did it get out of hand do you think? People disagreed, some strongly disagreed but no-one got nasty and the thread continued on it's original topic.

It is typical in that the thread called for opinion and two posters were called out in the name of sexism and possible homophobia for stating their own 'pet peeve'. So much so that one poster decided to apologise for posting her pet jewellery peeve "Well so it's not okay for me to say what I did".

Doesn't that illustrate what is wrong with PS these days?

No it doesn't in my opinion. Opinions were expressed - no apologies were demanded as far as I know. It's conversation, disagreement, debate.