in leiu of wedding date change...

[curiopotter]

So because we''re probably going to have to change the wedding to January of 2009 (*silently screams*) before we fell asleep last night he whispers in in my ear, "I wish we could get married now."

He wanted me to ask you guys what you thought of 2 weddings. He wanted to have a small wedding with close friends and family, and then wait until January of 09 to have the big ceremony.

I told him my neighbor got married in Belize when he was stationed there (he was in the marines), and then when he got back to Texas (about a year later), they had a big ceremony and reception.

Has anyone on this forum done that? What do you think about it? His concern was that it would be weird. I guess it worked for my neighbor, since he was away from home, but will the day be as emotional? Will it be as special?

I think we''re both to the point where we just want to get married as soon as possible.

 

[KimberlyH]

Curio,

I haven''t read your other thread, so forgive me if you''ve answered this already but why is the big wedding so important? I would suggest if you want to get married now, do it, and then have a 1 year anniversary blow out. Just an idea.

 

[happilyeverafter]

Date: 10/26/2007 10:24:49 AM
Author: KimberlyH
Curio,

I haven''t read your other thread, so forgive me if you''ve answered this already but why is the big wedding so important? I would suggest if you want to get married now, do it, and then have a 1 year anniversary blow out. Just an idea.

I completely second this idea. I''ve also heard of one year vow renewal ceremonies - maybe you could incorporate that into your party? Otherwise people may feel weird going to a "wedding" where the couple has been married for the better part of a year.

 

[happy in love]

I just attended a wedding for friends that had been married for 7 months already. We teased them in good fun about it, but were happy to share their (second) day with them. I think it is fine to do more of an elopement, I don''t think it would take away from the emotion or the magic of the day at all.
I do agree with the others though, I think it is a good idea to wait until the 1 year anniversary to do the big ceremony. If you just want to have a reception for all your friends and family, then I''d say do that whenever!
Good luck!

 

[lyra]

I love the idea of a very small intimate wedding soon, and maybe a larger party later on. Or not have the larger party at all?

 

[cellososweet]

my DH and I got married in a courthouse due to a lot of issues planning our wedding. we just wanted to be married. it seemed ridiculous to wait (we''d been dating 4 years, living together for over a year). so we skipped off to court and made it legal. we''re renewing our vows in may of 2008. we see this as our "spiritual" wedding, since we already had the legal one. and it''s a great reason to don an awesome gown, be with people we love and boogie down after a nice meal. good luck!

 

[surfgirl]

Just.DO.IT! Hell, why not go to Vegas the same weekend as Gypsy and you can be their witnesses and they can be your witnesses! DO IT!

 

[Independent Gal]

I can''t remember if I posted this or just thought it, but I really don''t get why mother''s day is such a big deal. I just can''t imagine someone saying ''A WEDDING!?!?! On MOTHER''S DAY?!?!!? Has she no couth?!'' I mean, seriously. Who doesn''t go to a wedding because it''s mother''s day?

Or maybe I just don''t get it about mother''s day in this country?

Anyway, if that really isn''t an option, then, as a two-wedding (and not just a two-dress!) bride I can tell you that I had the same concerns. They are alleviated somewhat by my two weddings being of different kinds. In many countries, you have to have a civil / legal ceremony before you can have a religious one, and in some countries (e.g., Indonesia) it''s vice versa. So if you go to the courthouse now, you can have the religious ceremony later and both are ''authentic''. see?

If you weren''t going to have a religious ceremony in the first place, then I agree with the others that just having a big party a while later is the way to go. It doesn''t have to be a wedding, it can be a celebration of the marriage, know what I mean?

 

[regalada]

Curiopotter, we had two weddings because DH''s mom could not fly due to surgery on the date we had set for our destination wedding. We had a deadline because of immigration issues (DH is German). So we went to Vegas on very short notice. We planned everything in about a week, dress and all, and it was just the two of us and a close friend of mine and her boyfriend as witnesses. The next day we drove to Death Valley National Park for a one day honeymoom. It was so stress-free, calm, happy, cheap and simple, we loved it.

Six months later we had our destination wedding with our 24 closest family and friends, with the big dress, flower girl and ring bearer, MOH and best man, etc. That wedding day (wedding weekend really) was no less special because we were already married. I still cried when we said our vows, mainly because we were in the company of people who loved us both watching us commit our lives to one another. Although the planning of that wedding was very stressful and it was costly, we do not regret it one bit, it was fabulous and everyone had a blast. As a plus, we did not have to jump through all the hoops it takes to get married in my country .

Both occasions were different, the first one felt like it was all about us, a private wonderful weekend. The second one was more about our loved us sharing the day with us, with all the craziness that entailed.

 

[karasue91]

I also just recently attended a wedding for some friends who had been married over a year. They had a courthouse marriage basically because he wanted to get her into Canada but she didn''t have a job or any kind of qualifications to get a job that would sponsor a work visa. Anyhoo, it was beautiful and just as emotional and sweet as it would have been if it were their first time saying the vows. I think you two should just go for it!

 

[zoebartlett]

I read your other thread but I didn''t have time to respond. First, why don''t you want to have the wedding on Mother''s Day? Is it because it''s a holiday already? I think you could easily honor mothers who attend your wedding if you wish. What about having ushers (if you plan on having ushers) give a rose or another type of flower to a woman who is a mom as they''re walking them to their seat? One of my college roommates "honored" myself and our other friends by having her and her FI''s ushers give us all a flower before their ceremony began. We thought it was very touching. It was such a sweet gesture! You could maybe do something like that...maybe?

I know that didn''t answer your actual question but I wanted to put that out there.

Your question on this thread seems to be about having a destination wedding. It''s done all the time! You could have a simple ceremony and a quiet reception for immediate family and close friends (or whoever you''d like) and then have a larger party for everyone else later in the year.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 10/26/2007 10:24:49 AM
Author: KimberlyH
Curio,

I haven''t read your other thread, so forgive me if you''ve answered this already but why is the big wedding so important? I would suggest if you want to get married now, do it, and then have a 1 year anniversary blow out. Just an idea.

You are so wise Kimi! Great idea; ditto it!

 

[somethingshiny]

I''ve known several people who''ve had small weddings, and a couple of courthouse weddings, and then had a big reception. One of them waited eight months for the reception. They wanted a huge outdoor reception, so they waited until summer. All but two of the s even wore amazing dresses. Not exactly a wedding dress, though. One wore a beautiful strappy silver number, one of them red, and the outdoor one wore a sequin knee-length dress. They were all really great parties because no one was nervous.

I understand the "just do it" feeling. My husband and I were engaged for over a year, and one day we just set a date 7 weeks away. I wouldn''t have had it any other way.

Best Wishes!