Inviting coworkers to your shower

[zoebartlett]

I''m in the middle of putting together names and addresses of those who my mom and I would like to invite to one of my showers. I''m not sure what to do about coworkers though. One of my coworkers (who will be invited to our wedding) got married in a private ceremony last year and we had a shower for her at work. I have no idea if one will be given for me this year.

Are you inviting your coworkers to your shower(s)?

I should mention that the person giving this particular shower is one of my mom''s friends. The guest list is made up of my friends and my mom''s friends. Apparently, the hostess has asked that we try to keep the guest list down (I''m assuming because of cost and/or space in her house). I''m assuming this means that coworkers shouldn''t be invited. I do hang out with them occasionally outside of work, but I wouldn''t consider them super close friends. It would be nice to include them though. What should I do?

 

[diamondfan]

I think one has to have a way to draw lines. Is your office so small that if you invite one you must invite all? Any chance of another shower where numbers being kept low is not an issue?

Are you super close to anyone in particular where someone would say, Ah, that makes sense, she and Zoe are close and socialize out of work.

I never like to hurt feelings, because even when one uses reason and logic people do feel left out or hurt. But then, do you want to have the option of inviting no one over that?

Maybe someone will throw you a work shower and solve your issue!

Sorry not to be more help, I would say generally then invite none, and keep it simple. But that may cause repercussions at work, I just do not know your situation there well enough to make a guess.

 

[swingirl]

I would keep my family and friends separate from my co-workers. If you left your job today how many of those ladies would you honestly stay in touch with? That might put things in perspective. You shouldn''t have to invite people that you work with. You should be inviting people you are close to that want to share in this life-changing experience.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi DF!

Actually, my FMIL and FSsIL are giving me another shower for their side of the family (this shower is in another part of my state and it''s mostly family only).

I don''t want to add a lot more people to the guest list -- I don''t want to appear greedy or anything like that. It''s just that these coworkers (4) are the only ones besides out of town guests who won''t be invited to either of these showers. I''m sure they''d understand if they weren''t invited but it would be great to have them there.

You''re right, if they do give me a shower at work, it would solve my dilemma but I don''t think I''d know for a couple of months whether that will happen. Three showers just sounds ridiculous to me though. It would certainly be very generous but totally unnecessary.

 

[zoebartlett]

Good point Swingirl. I am planning on inviting these girls to the wedding. It was my understanding that females who would be invited to a wedding (who live relatively close by) are typically invited to one''s shower. I may be wrong about that though.

If I left today, would I keep in touch? Yes. One of these coworkers is my partner, and I would hope that we (and the other three girls) would keep in touch. I''m not sure if we''ll be lifelong friends though.

Maybe I''ll run it by my sister (MOH) and ask her to give her opinion. I do need to take into consideration the wishes of the hostess (my mom''s friend) and keep the guest list down. I''m just not sure how many people she''s thinking of having. Maybe my sister could ask.

 

[diamondfan]

Look, I do not want to spend anyone''s money, but four is not bad in the long run, and not worth hurting feelings over.

Can you split them two and two, are there two girls that go together and another two, so you can invite two to one shower and two to the other?

Otherwise, honestly I might see what I could do without offending the hostess unless the place will simply not hold the extra. I just think 4 people is not a break the bank number and unless you are really not great pals with them or plan on leaving the job, you have to go to work there...and it might make trouble needlessly.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/5/2008 11:55:01 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Good point Swingirl. I am planning on inviting these girls to the wedding. It was my understanding that females who would be invited to a wedding (who live relatively close by) are typically invited to one''s shower. I may be wrong about that though.

That''s my understanding as well.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/6/2008 12:36:59 AM
Author: diamondfan
Look, I do not want to spend anyone''s money, but four is not bad in the long run, and not worth hurting feelings over.

Can you split them two and two, are there two girls that go together and another two, so you can invite two to one shower and two to the other?

Otherwise, honestly I might see what I could do without offending the hostess unless the place will simply not hold the extra. I just think 4 people is not a break the bank number and unless you are really not great pals with them or plan on leaving the job, you have to go to work there...and it might make trouble needlessly.

Thanks for your thoughts DF. I''d prefer to have all 4 coworkers go to the same shower (the one that my mom''s friend is hosting). I agree that I don''t think that 4 extra people is a break the bank number so I''ll see what I can do.