Is anybody else scared to death about the ceremony?

[Neveah]

Since we''re at the 3 month mark (IKES) and have been meeting with the minister and going over the ceremony.... I''ve started to get really bad anxiety. NO not the marrying part. Can''t wait for that!

When I think about saying the vows.... I mean, how much more intimate can you get than pledging your love and life to another person? And well, thinking about 225+ people all watching us at the same time.... It makes me want to throw up.

I have to say I am by no means a shy person. I''m very outgoing and comfortable with crowds. The reception, being announced nothing makes me even the least bit anxious.... except the "getting married" part has just recently started to freak me out.

Am I just overwhelmed since it''s close? Has anyone else ever felt this way? I''ve been told that it goes by so fast, and you don''t even realize everyone staring.... that you only notice each other....please tell me this is true!!!

 

[Maisie]

My sister has the worst panic attacks ever. She can''t stand up in front of more than a few people without freaking out. She hates being the centre of attention.

In the run up to her wedding she kept telling us she couldn''t go through with it. She said she wished she had just opted to elope instead of having a church wedding. Her nerves were so bad that the night before the wedding she shut herself in her bedroom and wouldn''t let us in.

On the wedding day she amazed us all. She was serene and beautiful and confident. We were so proud of her. She loved every minute of her big day and even admitted she was disappointed when it was all over!

I know you are nervous but please don''t be. I know your relatives and friends are all there to watch you get married, but in reality the only people who need to be able to hear your vows are the minister, your fiance and your witnesses. Don''t build it up into something that is going to make you stressed out. You need to enjoy the run up to the wedding!!

 

[julabean]

Oh, I''m totally nervous about the ceremony! I don''t normally have a problem with crowds, especially not crowds that consist of my family and friends (we''re having a pretty small ceremony...less than 70 people), but lately I''ve been having horrible thoughts about how I''m going to turn red and want to shrink into my shoes with everyone''s eyes on me! I think by the reception I''ll be fine because it will be more relaxed but the ceremony is definitely freaking me out!

 

[Sha]

My DH and I hate being the center of attention, and we were very nervous during the ceremony as well. It was only about 15 people, but still...just having everybody gawk at us for a whole 1/2 hour while you do something so intimate and life-changing can be nerve-wracking. I know howyou feel.

 

[LauraSLP07]

I''m actually not so nervous about saying "I do" in front of my family and friends, but I have this gut feeling that my wedding is going to end of on America''s Funniest Videos. You know, the videos that show people passing out or worse....throw up! I think I am more anxious about making sure everyone is ok than about the actual wedding part!

 

[Neveah]

I''m so glad I''m not alone !!

 

[eringabrielle]

I feel your pain.

You know, I am totally freaking out about the walk down the aisle with my parents for two reasons:
1. I know I am going to be a teary mess

2. If I get too nervous when people have their attention on me, I can start trembling uncontrollably (just graduated with my masters and I started trembling when walked across the stage to get my diploma)

I have beta blockers to help with the shaking, and people keep telling me to down some champagne or wine first, but I think that will just make it harder to control still.

I hate that I cannot control these two things. So the fact that I am worried about them (more so the shaking) makes me even more nervous about the ceremony.....you are definitely not alone.....

 

[Neveah]

I was at a wedding last spring for friends of ours. The bride was so nerveous she giggled and laughed through the whole ceremony. Almost uncontrollbly. It was awful. I felt so bad for her. That feeling when you just can''t stop laughing. I have nightmares about this.

 

[gtn]

I''m not nervous about taking my vows (yet) since I have 8 more months to go. I''m more nervous about the kiss. I don''t really kiss my FI with our friends and family watching. If people are around us, we usually give each other a quick peck. Now I want to have a shot of us kissing so i know I have to "linger", but I''m not sure if I can do that with my mom and dad watching.

 

[partyjewels]

I''ve got several more months than you, but have been terrified at the thought of this from the moment I agreed to the church wedding FI wanted with lots of guests... I am a VERY shy person, particularly when it comes to such deep emotion..... I mean, when FI and I first started dating I refused to kiss him first for the longest time! And when we started saying I love you, even though I had been waiting to say it for what seemed like forever, I was really shy about saying it when we first finally did... in fact, I waited till I thought he was just about a sleep, whispered I love you too in his ear, and then rolled over and pulled the blankets over my head. lol. When we got engaged I couldn''t call him my fiance, I got all red at the thought! I know I know, I''m a freak of nature, but as you can see from my examples, I am absolutely not the kind of person who is going to be ok with saying my personal feelings in front of all our guests! I know alot of people will use microphones at weddings, and I refuse!!!! I don''t care if the guests are upset because they can''t hear it, it''s not for them to hear!!! It''s bad enough that they''ll be looking at me the entire time we''re up there, I don''t need them hearing me too.

Plus I know I''m going to get all teary eyed and stuff, and I don''t need everyone hearing my sniffling and crying into the microphone while I''m pouring my heart out you know? I still try to convince FI nearly every day that we need to elope

 

[gtn]

OMG, My FI is so worried that I will be a teary eyed mess too. I can''t help it. I once cried watching and episode of the Simpson''s. I know, go figure.

 

[zoebartlett]

No, you''re definitely not alone. I''m nervous about pretty much the whole day (the center of attention part, not the marrying part

).

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

my wedding is june 15 and all i can think about is the ceremony!!!! in particular the fact that i know myself, my FI, his mother, and my entire bridal partly will likely be crying a river the whole time.....i keep on thinking about how grateful i am that we are taking pictures before the ceremony, ha! i just hope that don''t turn all red and splotchy from crying, i usually get it all over my face, neck, and chest! i will be bringing my extra cover-up that''s for sure!

 

[Gypsy]

Okay. I know have knots in my stomach. I wasn''t worried at all, then I read this. YIKES. I''m going to have to pretend it''s a negotiation or something. Not good.

 

[cara]

We had practiced with our friend the officiant in the 24 hrs before the wedding - so I knew what was coming. I was nervous enough that I was mainly focused on saying my lines, not messing up, etc. Certainly not very romantic, but really the commitment was made long ago, at least to my thinking...

Imagine my shock when groom standing there PAUSES at the I do''s! I was puzzled at first, hmm, is he frozen? Then the audience kind of laughed and I realized he was... pulling my chain? thinking? contemplating the meaning of the words not just reciting lines?

he claims the latter, but i certainly let him have it later on the POSSIBILITY of the former.

But all was well. Just prepare yourself as best you can, breathe, and remember to take it all in as best you can.

I did attend a wedding last year in which the ceremony was delayed cause the bride was puking - no joke! She had been throwing up all day from anxiety, and continued throwing up during the reception. And she apparently could of predicted this given her history of anxiety. She was religious and really wanted the whole church wedding, but were it me, there is no way I would have put myself through that ordeal if I were an anxious person. I would have been married at city hall or on a beach with 3 people. That''s why its important to consider yourself and your limitations when sketching out the scope of the wedding.

Its a little late for you to change venues Neveah (!) so just go over the script, discuss your concerns with your FI, and maybe visit the venue a few extra times if you can. Just rehearse in your mind.

If it''s really bad see a doctor. There are medications or therapy - maybe one would be appropriate. No point in not having fun on your wedding day.

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/12/2008 10:40:57 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay. I know have knots in my stomach. I wasn''t worried at all, then I read this. YIKES. I''m going to have to pretend it''s a negotiation or something. Not good.

I''m just really starting this whole lawyer-thing now but I think after being in front of some of the judges I''ve been in front of this whole thing will be a piece of cake.

Sometimes I like to pretend I''ve already been through the hardest motions and the toughest mediations to make myself feel better when I''m about to go into another one. I can''t wait for the day when the butterflies are 100% gone.

This whole wedding thing.... piece of cake

(at least I hope... I''ll let you all know when I''m 3 months out hahaha).

 

[CrownJewel]

My wedding is not for a while, so I''m not nervous yet...but I can understand what you gals are saying. I do feel like marriage vows are very intimate and I''m a little unsettled with the idea of saying them into a microphone! I plan on having champagne as soon as I wake up on my wedding day. And I was just chatting with a friend about the music for my ceremony. I wanted something jazzy and fun as I go down the aisle...an added bonus will be that it may help put me at ease. You know...sauntering down the aisle instead of walking! Haha.

Maybe it''ll help if you plan on having some fun thing to focus on while you''re saying your vows, or as you''re walking down the aisle?

 

[monarch64]

I had two glasses of wine before my ceremony. I wasn''t nervous at all in the weeks/days leading up to it, but suddenly that morning I felt a huge wave of anxiety and the wine just took the edge off for me. DH reported having a stiff cocktail as well, LOL!

So...during my ceremony I had a horrible coughing fit (I''d been sick all week but still had some leftover crap in my upper respiratory system), AND a bee decided to buzz around my head for about 2 minutes...my father had to get up a couple times and shoo it away with his program because he knows I''m terrified of bees! To this day I''m glad I didn''t wear a veil, what if the bee had gotten stuck in it!!!???!!! Oh, and DH cried when I came down the aisle, which embarrassed him to no end, but all of these things make for good stories!

It''s normal to be nervous about the ceremony and being in front of hundreds of people when you aren''t used to doing so. Try to remember that your audience isn''t full of strangers, but tons of people who love you and want you to be happy. And no one''s going to let you walk down the aisle with the hem of your dress stuck inside your Spanx, or with TP stuck to your shoe. I do suggest making sure someone in the front row has a bottle of water at the ready, though...in case your throat gets dry, hee hee.

 

[anchor31]

I''m actually very excited about the ceremony. We started writing it and it''ll be perfectly lovely and personal. I''ve also been performing on stage (mostly music, also some acting) since I was 5, so I''m not nervous about people looking at me. But they''re no way I''m saying my vows into a microphone! Blech.

I''m actually terrified about the reception. I''m not a party girl, I hate crowds and I can''t dance to save my life. Family parties are my nightmare. Our first dance? That scares me to death. The idea of have 70+ people in the same room partying makes me shudder.

 

[Isolde]

My wedding won''t be for a good while, either, but I''m still scared to death about the ceremony (as that will really be the only part of our wedding). In our Church, the wedding ceremony contains absolutely no vows. Despite not having that pressure, I know I''m still going to be an emotional mess. I''m also worried I''m going to trip, or spill wine all over my dress.

 

[zoebartlett]

I know this will sound silly but I almost think it would be easier to do if it were a rioom full of strangers. Anchor, I totally know what you mean about partying with 70+ people when you''re uncomfortable.

I have a habit occasionally of laughing uncontrollably in the worst moments. Maybe if I crack up during the ceremony I"ll loosen up for the rest of the day.