Is it customary to give a speech at your reception?

[zoebartlett]

I just asked my FI is he was going to say anything at the reception, you know, after the best man gives his toast. He said he wasn''t planning on it and then he added, "but you probably want me to, huh?". I hadn''t really thought about it. Is it customary for the groom (and/or bride) to speak at the reception? I can''t remember what''s happened at the weddings I''ve attended. I know I''m not planning on saying anything but if I should, I will. We are planning on walking up to each table of guests and greet everyone and thank them for coming. Is this enough?

 

[gtn]

I''ve been to weddings where they did have speeches thanking their guest and family and others where the couple goes around and thanks people. I say, do what you are most comfortable with.

 

[sumbride]

My DH was REALLY nervous about it, and I didn''t want to do it either, so we didn''t. Figured our vows and our thank yous were enough. We had speeches by my dad, the best man and the Maid of honor. It felt like enough.

 

[somethingshiny]

We didn''t give any kind of a speech. The only thing I''ve seen in the way of a speech is when the groom toasts his bride, or vice versa. I don''t think it''s expected.

 

[rms]

We did not do speeches. But I have been to several weddings where the bride and groom did. Some of them were spectacular....not too long, very thoughtful, emotional and meaningful. Do whatever makes you happy.

 

[Gypsy]

Our vows are our speeches to each other. As for thanking family and friends... he''s welcome to, I have public speaking issues. Hadn''t really thought about it till now though.

 

[monarch64]

Neither of us did any public speaking at our reception...even though I was encouraged by one of my aunts to do so...we did a lot of mingling with guests and sort of thanked everyone that way. But looking back, I''ve always wished I had gotten up the gumption to just make a toast to my parents (hosts of our wedding) and DH''s parents and our guests to let them know we appreciated their presence on our day. That''s really my only regret about our wedding...

 

[CJ2008]

I think it would be nice to say something, even though it isn''t expected. As long as it''s not something that would give you too much anxiety...

 

[Pandora II]

In the UK, speeches are a BIG part of the wedding.

The bride''s father speaks first, then the groom and finally the Best Man.

Guests tend to do a sweepstake on total number of minutes for the speeches combined.

They tend to be about 40 minutes total - and take a LOT of preparation. The Best Man''s speech is the highlight and is supposed to embarrass the groom as much as possible (without talking about anything that would upset the grandparents!).

I''m helping FI''s Best Man out with his speech (planning normally starts 6 months or so before the wedding) - and supplying embarrassing photos of him in his childhood and teenage years - as supplied by FMIL - and photographing FI''s large and very secret collection of teddy bears!

The photos will be blown up to A4 and put in envelopes to be distributed to each table during the speech. I can hardly wait!

 

[bee*]

I agree with Pandora in that in Ireland, the speeches are huge also.

For us, it goes in this order
Bride''s dad
Groom''s dad
Groom
Bride (if she wants)
Then Best Man

I''m definitely going to stand up and say a few words-I''ve never been known to keep quiet so why start now

 

[zoebartlett]

I think we''ll stick with visiting everyone at their tables and thanking them for coming. That''s more in my comfort zone. I''m not sure my FI will end up speaking but he might decide to.

 

[Sha]

Where I''m from (Caribbean), it''s traditional for the groom to give the last speech, which is basically to thank all the guests for attending the wedding, and to give special thanks to anyone who helped out in any way. It''s customary for the groom to say something nice about the bride too, and to thank the bride''s parents for giving him such a lovely wife. He usually starts the speech in a very proud and dignified voice, with the words, "My WIFE and I...", which gets the audience clapping and cheering. It''s usually a big hit.