Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or treat?

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I suppose if someone wants to think that I have a drinking problem and that I must be a bad parent (because if I have a beer on Halloween, that means that I'm certainly not enjoying the time I'm spending with my children ) then I guess I'm okay with that
I wish everyone a safe and happy Halloween - no matter how you choose to spend it (with a beer or without)

 

[marymm]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

When I was a kid trick-or-treating, I remember I didn't like being around the adults who were drinking/holding alcohol - as a child, it felt weird/troubling/warning signal particularly if I came across an adult with alcohol and without a child... my background though as a child was that Halloween was a holiday for children, not a adult holiday; and while my parents did drink wine or beer on occasion, they did not drink alcohol on Halloween.

For me, an aunt, not a mom, I would not choose to drink while taking my nephews trick-or-treating, but that's me. As an adult, I know that adults/parents who are enjoying a single alcoholic beverage while walking around with their children on Halloween night are not being irresponsible - however, because I remember my perspective as a child, I would not choose to do so myself.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I'm honestly kind of shocked at some of these responses! I had no idea people would feel so strongly about it one way or the other.

This discussion also makes me wonder how many parents are walking around doped up on prescription painkillers, benzos, etc. If that were visible, I'd give it the side-eye far more than an adult with a beer. And this message adults are sending to children about drinking? Ha! What about the message this whole holiday sends? BEG FOR ALL THE CRAP YOU CAN AND EAT IT ALL. Now there's a healthy message!

 

[telephone89]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I don't see how having a drink sends 'the wrong message' to kids haha. There are lots of things that adults do that kids don't do - that's kind of the point of an adult/child relationship. And to say that someone has a drinking problem because of it? My goodness. When I was a kid, we also weren't just out for an hour - we got our moneys worth out of that costume and were usually out for 3+ hours (weather dependent of course). So for the people who say 'gosh, cant you just wait until you get home and be an alcoholic in private?!' its not always a short time. I also like to drink with other people - sounds like some of the judgmental responses assume I want to drink myself to sleep alone in a basement somewhere lol.

Do you judge people for having a glass of wine at a restaurant for dinner and your kids are there? What, cant wait until you get home?! The terrible message it must send!

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I don't see how having a drink sends 'the wrong message' to kids haha. There are lots of things that adults do that kids don't do - that's kind of the point of an adult/child relationship. And to say that someone has a drinking problem because of it? My goodness. When I was a kid, we also weren't just out for an hour - we got our moneys worth out of that costume and were usually out for 3+ hours (weather dependent of course). So for the people who say 'gosh, cant you just wait until you get home and be an alcoholic in private?!' its not always a short time. I also like to drink with other people - sounds like some of the judgmental responses assume I want to drink myself to sleep alone in a basement somewhere lol.

Do you judge people for having a glass of wine at a restaurant for dinner and your kids are there? What, cant wait until you get home?! The terrible message it must send![/quote]

LOL!

And there is Kenny, sitting on his porch drinking wine and playing that rock 'n roll music! For shame!!!

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I'm honestly kind of shocked at some of these responses! I had no idea people would feel so strongly about it one way or the other.

This discussion also makes me wonder how many parents are walking around doped up on prescription painkillers, benzos, etc. If that were visible, I'd give it the side-eye far more than an adult with a beer. And this message adults are sending to children about drinking? Ha! What about the message this whole holiday sends? BEG FOR ALL THE CRAP YOU CAN AND EAT IT ALL. Now there's a healthy message!

I thought about that too - prescription pill use is rampant these days and I guess those people aren't judged simply because people don't actually see them popping pills.....and yes, rather ironic that we're talking about sending healthy/unhealthy messages to our children in a trick or treating thread.....what could be more "unhealthy" than getting giant bags/buckets of candy and consuming it for days long after the Holiday is over.....I wonder too where we draw the line with drinking? If I have a dinner party and my kids are home, does it send the wrong message to offer my adult friends a glass of wine? If I take my kids to a baseball game, does it send the wrong message if I have a beer? I tend to think that the message I'm sending my kids is that I am an adult who chooses to (responsibly) have an adult beverage once in a while.

 

[lyra]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

It's not legal here, so I don't see it. Would it be wrong? I don't know. If it was one beer, I doubt it. If it was more than that I think it's questionable because of safety for the kids maybe. Is it necessary, no. Hot drinks aren't even popular here and it's pretty cold on Halloween, and sometimes snowing.

I do not however, see the correlation between having a beer while walking around the neighbourhood, and this fear/huge leap of imagination that there are so many people on the streets hopped up on prescription drugs. Are the people who are prescribed them for a valid reason included in that group, or not? Are the soccer moms and dads secretly dealing drugs? LOL. I'm just waiting for the next comparison to be the people on the street carrying their handguns because Halloween is so dangerous and they need to protect themselves and their kids in their own neighbourhood.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

It's not legal here, so I don't see it. Would it be wrong? I don't know. If it was one beer, I doubt it. If it was more than that I think it's questionable because of safety for the kids maybe. Is it necessary, no. Hot drinks aren't even popular here and it's pretty cold on Halloween, and sometimes snowing.

I do not however, see the correlation between having a beer while walking around the neighbourhood, and this fear/huge leap of imagination that there are so many people on the streets hopped up on prescription drugs. Are the people who are prescribed them for a valid reason included in that group, or not? Are the soccer moms and dads secretly dealing drugs? LOL. I'm just waiting for the next comparison to be the people on the street carrying their handguns because Halloween is so dangerous and they need to protect themselves and their kids in their own neighbourhood.

I wasn't making a correlation between having a beer and taking prescription drugs. It was simply pointed out that some people engage in prescription pill use while the rest of us might be completely unaware.
I was equally confused by the correlation in this thread between having a beer while trick or treating and being an alcoholic and/or having a drinking problem. Talk about a huge leap of imagination

 

[packrat]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I don't think everyone is a closet alcoholic or pill popper, I just happen to think there's sometimes just more or less appropriate times to drink in public. I don't know everyone I meet on the street, regardless how small our town is, and I don't know how many beers you may or may not have had. I don't know that you've just opened that and taken two sips, that you drink now and again and are a nice drinker. I don't know that you've had four before you left the house and are a jackass when inebriated and that if my kid happens to get to close to you while walking you're going to bark at them for being kids..tho, JD deals w/people like that on a daily basis, so he can, and has, actually, steered us away from people whilst out and about. If pills were public in the same manner and you'd had 42 of some sort, yeah, I'd be thinking some things. If you'd had one Xanax, wouldn't think a thing of it. Can't tell in any of those situations. Some social situations are more appropriate than others, in my eyes.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I'm honestly kind of shocked at some of these responses! I had no idea people would feel so strongly about it one way or the other.

This discussion also makes me wonder how many parents are walking around doped up on prescription painkillers, benzos, etc. If that were visible, I'd give it the side-eye far more than an adult with a beer. And this message adults are sending to children about drinking? Ha! What about the message this whole holiday sends? BEG FOR ALL THE CRAP YOU CAN AND EAT IT ALL. Now there's a healthy message!

I thought about that too - prescription pill use is rampant these days and I guess those people aren't judged simply because people don't actually see them popping pills.....and yes, rather ironic that we're talking about sending healthy/unhealthy messages to our children in a trick or treating thread.....what could be more "unhealthy" than getting giant bags/buckets of candy and consuming it for days long after the Holiday is over.....I wonder too where we draw the line with drinking? If I have a dinner party and my kids are home, does it send the wrong message to offer my adult friends a glass of wine? If I take my kids to a baseball game, does it send the wrong message if I have a beer? I tend to think that the message I'm sending my kids is that I am an adult who chooses to (responsibly) have an adult beverage once in a while.

I think a lot of people have a very "all or nothing" attitude about drinking, and while that is fine for them, I don't personally see it as a healthy example for kids. I agree with you, I think the message of drinking responsibly vs. not drinking in front of minors AT ALL is more helpful than abstaining. Kind of like the message the right wing likes to send about sex: just don't do it! Well...look where that gets us.

Lyra, the prescription drug mention was made in response to some posters here saying that it isn't safe for children to be watched ovr by those who are impaired somehow or under the influence. I was just trying to make the point that in many cases people don't even realize that others are, indeed, impaired because they aren't holding a bottle or red Solo cup.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I don't think everyone is a closet alcoholic or pill popper, I just happen to think there's sometimes just more or less appropriate times to drink in public. I don't know everyone I meet on the street, regardless how small our town is, and I don't know how many beers you may or may not have had. I don't know that you've just opened that and taken two sips, that you drink now and again and are a nice drinker. I don't know that you've had four before you left the house and are a jackass when inebriated and that if my kid happens to get to close to you while walking you're going to bark at them for being kids..tho, JD deals w/people like that on a daily basis, so he can, and has, actually, steered us away from people whilst out and about. If pills were public in the same manner and you'd had 42 of some sort, yeah, I'd be thinking some things. If you'd had one Xanax, wouldn't think a thing of it. Can't tell in any of those situations. Some social situations are more appropriate than others, in my eyes.

But it's the day when women can dress as sexy as they want without being slut-shamed!
What more appropriate day than Halloween to do inappropriate things like drinking in public???

 

[ksinger]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

Nah, the next comparison will be the situation in this thread versus what I saw in Ireland a couple of weeks ago. We were in the hotel pub, and up skipped a little girl - no older than 6 - who then clambered onto a bar stool, said something to the bartender, who took her money, gave her change and a receipt. She then got down and before going back to her table, checked the receipt. My husband and I were mightily amused because she was checking the bill, and because we knew back in the states, something like that would likely get the child taken away from the parents by protective services. THAT is the message we send kids here - that even the very area around alcohol is too dangerous for them.

I’m not sure why such a moralistic tone must be taken with alcohol, or with anything that adults can do but kids cannot. I’m not going to stop being a adult or hiding that fact, just because I have children. Alcohol and its consumption is not going to go away just because I hide it from or badmouth it to, my kid. At some point that child will have to make a choice of how she is going to relate to alcohol out in the big world. If a parent is drinking in front of his/her kid - even at Halloween, even on the (gasp!) street with other parents - it’s only a problem if they are clearly impaired. I could even see them as doing their kids a favor by showing them that drinking can be done without a biohazard warning blipping over mom’s head, and can be done without becoming stumbling drunk and without becoming Mommie Dearest. I’ve seen more kids get the wrong message from rigidly moralizing parents - kids who then go completely nuts once they’re out of the house and the repression is lifted, than kids who saw their parents have a drink now and again.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I have seen intoxicated parents TOT with their children. If you need a cooler...probably not a great sign. I work with addicts so I am sure my POV is highly influenced by my career. Socially drinking in front of your children is not a problem IMHO. The problem is not everyone can socially drink. It is interesting because I just had a patient break up with her long-term boyfriend. Alcohol is not her main issue but she was in tears saying her ex has their little girls get beer for him out of the fridge. She explained she had the same job in her home and her father was an alcoholic. I don't see substance abuse as a moral issue. I see it as a disease. This said, I have other ways to teach my child about drinking in moderation (if that is something she is able to do). I don't think teaching her to be comfortable with the bartender is the social modeling approach I will take. Ireland is also known for its deep rooted alcoholism...so yea...that story makes me sad.

 

[Cluless]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I'm not judging here ( who the heck am I to judge)Honestly just saying how it makes me feel. It' s' I don't know, maybe because it's illegal here to walk around with alchool in your hands. But the visual is very unsetteling, think lillte children all dressed up angel wings and all and mom/dad with beer bottle in hand walking the streets, no, just no.Here rebelious teenagers do that kind of stuff. Now if the neighbors invite you in for some food and drinks and it's done responsibly (drinking that is) I don`t see a problem with that. If a neughbor/friend someone I trusted would show up at my door with beer bottle in hand and say '' I'm bringing my kids trick or treeting why don't you let yours come with I would'nt feel comfortable with that. Again hope no one took offense just the way I feel.

 

[stracci2000]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

When you are watching children, in any situation, you shouldn't be drinking.
It sets a bad example, and is in BAD taste.

 

[CJ2008]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I wouldn't immediately think "drinking problem" and I can see how if the neighborhood turns Halloween into a chance for the adults to socialize, and alcohol is included, then many/most people will choose to have a beer/wine or whatever.

I would hate that, but that's because I immediately think about the people who WILL drink too much. There's always one. Or two.

I don't think the adults having a drink in hand while trick or treating necessarily sends a message to the kids about drinking that they're not already surrounded by in many other different situations.

But it DOES turn the focus AWAY from the kids and dilutes what the whole night is all about.

Is that "wrong"?

No, that's not the right word word for it. And this is not coming from a "preachy" place at all - I know how much focus and time parents give their kids, so I can see how it can be nice to combine it as a night to for the adults to socialize too.

But personally, I'd rather see a different (not kid oriented) night chosen for the adults to drink while socializing.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

When you are watching children, in any situation, you shouldn't be drinking.
It sets a bad example, and is in BAD taste.

How about a wedding reception where children are present? A glass of wine at dinner? A 4th of July picnic? Im genuinely curious - is the only acceptable time to have an alcoholic beverage when no children are present at any time?

 

[ksinger]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I have seen intoxicated parents TOT with their children. If you need a cooler...probably not a great sign. I work with addicts so I am sure my POV is highly influenced by my career. Socially drinking in front of your children is not a problem IMHO. The problem is not everyone can socially drink. It is interesting because I just had a patient break up with her long-term boyfriend. Alcohol is not her main issue but she was in tears saying her ex has their little girls get beer for him out of the fridge. She explained she had the same job in her home and her father was an alcoholic. I don't see substance abuse as a moral issue. I see it as a disease. This said, I have other ways to teach my child about drinking in moderation (if that is something she is able to do). I don't think teaching her to be comfortable with the bartender is the social modeling approach I will take. Ireland is also known for its deep rooted alcoholism...so yea...that story makes me sad.

She wasn't toting pints, she was paying a bill. For all I know, the family had just finished an entire meal since this was a pub not a BAR - we were not in line to see the table she came from - it was around the corner a bit from us. The amusing bit was her checking the bill (at 6). The ironic part was the fact that she was trusted to walk across the room by herself, let alone climb onto a high stool and talk to an evil bartender - who was the only person working at that point in the late afternoon. I'm just having a hard time extrapolating from this that she would be "comfortable with a bartender" and thus progress inexorably to alcoholism.

For the record, my uncle was an alcoholic. My mom knew it, as I got older I knew it. We even talked about it, she and I. It was sad, but what could you do? He was a WWII vet, and who was I to be a prissy little chit to him and lecture him on drinking? So, at his request, I occasionally and graciously got a beer for him as a kid, when I would go down to his garage fridge to get a Pepsi for myself. I loved my uncle and knew that I could not change him and would only strain our relationship. Besides, I was only a kid - kids don't lecture adults, or at least they didn't where I was from. In any case, I did not become an alcoholic. I know this is your area of expertise, but there really ARE a lot of us out here who had exposures to alcohol that you would consider just horrible, and yet had zero desire to go there. It happens.

 

[stracci2000]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

When you are watching children, in any situation, you shouldn't be drinking.
It sets a bad example, and is in BAD taste.

How about a wedding reception where children are present? A glass of wine at dinner? A 4th of July picnic? Im genuinely curious - is the only acceptable time to have an alcoholic beverage when no children are present at any time?

If you have children with you, and you are drinking at a wedding reception, 4th of July picnic,or out to dinner, won't you be driving those kids home? Doesn't that make you responsible? If there was an accident of some kind, would you really want to talk to the EMTs with alcohol on your breath?
Not to mention that it sends the message that alcohol is fun, exiting, and everyone does it and it is really great, etc.
Nothing good ever comes from drinking. Think about it.

 

[tuffyluvr]

"Walktails" are very common where I live, even though it's not legal to drink on the streets. IMO, I don't think it's a big deal as long as the parents aren't getting totally trashed. They obviously need to keep their wits about them to keep their kids safe!

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

Well, since we typically go to those sorts of events as a family, if one parent is drinking, then the other abstains from drinking alcohol and is a designated driver. It's not that difficult to figure out how to drink responsibly. I'm not talking about getting plowed. I'm talking about a beer, a glass of wine, or maybe toasting the bride and groom. It sounds to me like you would advocate not even having a glass of wine with dinner (at home) if you have children because technically you are "watching" them 24/7.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I have seen intoxicated parents TOT with their children. If you need a cooler...probably not a great sign. I work with addicts so I am sure my POV is highly influenced by my career. Socially drinking in front of your children is not a problem IMHO. The problem is not everyone can socially drink. It is interesting because I just had a patient break up with her long-term boyfriend. Alcohol is not her main issue but she was in tears saying her ex has their little girls get beer for him out of the fridge. She explained she had the same job in her home and her father was an alcoholic. I don't see substance abuse as a moral issue. I see it as a disease. This said, I have other ways to teach my child about drinking in moderation (if that is something she is able to do). I don't think teaching her to be comfortable with the bartender is the social modeling approach I will take. Ireland is also known for its deep rooted alcoholism...so yea...that story makes me sad.

She wasn't toting pints, she was paying a bill. For all I know, the family had just finished an entire meal since this was a pub not a BAR - we were not in line to see the table she came from - it was around the corner a bit from us. The amusing bit was her checking the bill (at 6). The ironic part was the fact that she was trusted to walk across the room by herself, let alone climb onto a high stool and talk to an evil bartender - who was the only person working at that point in the late afternoon. I'm just having a hard time extrapolating from this that she would be "comfortable with a bartender" and thus progress inexorably to alcoholism.

For the record, my uncle was an alcoholic. My mom knew it, as I got older I knew it. We even talked about it, she and I. It was sad, but what could you do? He was a WWII vet, and who was I to be a prissy little chit to him and lecture him on drinking? So, at his request, I occasionally and graciously got a beer for him as a kid, when I would go down to his garage fridge to get a Pepsi for myself. I loved my uncle and knew that I could not change him and would only strain our relationship. Besides, I was only a kid - kids don't lecture adults, or at least they didn't where I was from. In any case, I did not become an alcoholic. I know this is your area of expertise, but there really ARE a lot of us out here who had exposures to alcohol that you would consider just horrible, and yet had zero desire to go there. It happens.

I misread your story about the little girl but don't think I ever referred to the bartender as "evil." The second part of my story has been a common thing I have heard among patients as addiction usually (NOT ALWAYS) runs in families. A child is 4 times more likely to have addiction issues (process addictions/eating disorders included) if a parent suffers from addiction. I am not suggesting a child lecture an adult. *I* don't even lecture them as they are adults. So maybe our communication is unclear on both our parts.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I could name any number of family events, activities, etc. where absolutely no alcohol is involved. Just because I have an occasional cocktail with friends doesn't mean that I can't have fun unless I have a drink in my hand and I'm not the least bit concerned that that's the "message" that I might be sending my kids. Again, if someone chooses not to drink, that's perfectly fine with me, but that doesn't mean the rest of us should be labeled (and judged) as having a problem with alcohol.

You seem to be taking this personally momhappy. Actually, number of you seem to be taking it personally.

This not aimed at you or anyone else. It's just my honest opinion.

Trick or treating, when I was a kid young enough to need supervision, never lasted more than 3 hours. And I was in bed by 9pm. And the adults partied after that time.

I think that, as a parent, if your kids are young enough that you don't feel comfortable sending them out unsupervised or with other parents, then drinking while following them around seems counterproductive. If something does happen, then having alcohol in your system isn't going to help. And if your kids are old enough, that you think they are safe without your vigilance, then why are you following them around in the first place? Just stay at home or go to a party and drink there.

Wandering the streets with a drink in your hand WHILE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING OUT FOR YOUR KIDS is very different than having a drink at a restaurant. If you can't see the obvious distinction, then I'm not going to waste my breathe explaining it to you.

And yes, I do think it sends a poor message to kids, as others have mentioned. Public intoxication and walking around the street drinking while you are supposed to be supervising kids is a mixed message.

So I guess I don't see the point in it. Just have a drink when it's over. And if you can't hold off 3 hours to have a drink... then maybe it's time you examine the reason for that.

 

[ksinger]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I have seen intoxicated parents TOT with their children. If you need a cooler...probably not a great sign. I work with addicts so I am sure my POV is highly influenced by my career. Socially drinking in front of your children is not a problem IMHO. The problem is not everyone can socially drink. It is interesting because I just had a patient break up with her long-term boyfriend. Alcohol is not her main issue but she was in tears saying her ex has their little girls get beer for him out of the fridge. She explained she had the same job in her home and her father was an alcoholic. I don't see substance abuse as a moral issue. I see it as a disease. This said, I have other ways to teach my child about drinking in moderation (if that is something she is able to do). I don't think teaching her to be comfortable with the bartender is the social modeling approach I will take. Ireland is also known for its deep rooted alcoholism...so yea...that story makes me sad.

She wasn't toting pints, she was paying a bill. For all I know, the family had just finished an entire meal since this was a pub not a BAR - we were not in line to see the table she came from - it was around the corner a bit from us. The amusing bit was her checking the bill (at 6). The ironic part was the fact that she was trusted to walk across the room by herself, let alone climb onto a high stool and talk to an evil bartender - who was the only person working at that point in the late afternoon. I'm just having a hard time extrapolating from this that she would be "comfortable with a bartender" and thus progress inexorably to alcoholism.

For the record, my uncle was an alcoholic. My mom knew it, as I got older I knew it. We even talked about it, she and I. It was sad, but what could you do? He was a WWII vet, and who was I to be a prissy little chit to him and lecture him on drinking? So, at his request, I occasionally and graciously got a beer for him as a kid, when I would go down to his garage fridge to get a Pepsi for myself. I loved my uncle and knew that I could not change him and would only strain our relationship. Besides, I was only a kid - kids don't lecture adults, or at least they didn't where I was from. In any case, I did not become an alcoholic. I know this is your area of expertise, but there really ARE a lot of us out here who had exposures to alcohol that you would consider just horrible, and yet had zero desire to go there. It happens.

I misread your story about the little girl but don't think I ever referred to the bartender as "evil." The second part of my story has been a common thing I have heard among patients as addiction usually (NOT ALWAYS) runs in families. A child is 4 times more likely to have addiction issues (process addictions/eating disorders included) if a parent suffers from addiction. I am not suggesting a child lecture an adult. *I* don't even lecture them as they are adults. So maybe our communication is unclear on both our parts.

I likely was unclear.

No, you did not say "evil". But much of the tenor of this thread from the right/wrong, good/bad dichotomy and nothing good/poor judgement/bad parenting/you may even be a danger to kids who don't belong to you angle, makes the use of the word "evil" not much of stretch at all. Since there IS such a judgmental tone here, is it any wonder that some of the people who might actually have an occasional drink in front of their kids might get their hackles up at being so labeled? I have no dog in this fight since I don't have kids, but I find the whole thing a bit overblown. But Momhappy is not wrong in understanding quite well that those here who do not know her personally, would see her having a drink in front of kids and harshly judge her - they have said as much right in here. As in so many other areas, we all have a tendency to see one tiny slice of life and extrapolate an entire backstory, make assumptions, and pass judgment. And as in any snapshot, appearances can be very deceiving.

The example with my uncle was to point out that simply being exposed to drinking adults - sometimes even in rather larger proportions than seeing mom and dad have a drink occasionally - is probably not enough to throw a kid into addiction. Hand-wringing about a drink in front of kids on Halloween, seems a tempest in a teapot to me. If every parent on the street was blotto, that would be a different matter of course, but again, one can hardly tell that from walking by someone for 10 seconds in the dark.

More sad from my POV, is the fact that around here at least, the evangelicals have waged a decades-long PR campaign casting Halloween as a satanic holiday, and have pretty much put paid to anything resembling a festive walking of the streets by tiny ghouls, with or without alcohol. I found this out by going trick-or-treating with my nephew and niece last night ( a Starwars storm trooper and Doc McStuffins - too cute). They were the only kids on the street.

 

[missy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

I could name any number of family events, activities, etc. where absolutely no alcohol is involved. Just because I have an occasional cocktail with friends doesn't mean that I can't have fun unless I have a drink in my hand and I'm not the least bit concerned that that's the "message" that I might be sending my kids. Again, if someone chooses not to drink, that's perfectly fine with me, but that doesn't mean the rest of us should be labeled (and judged) as having a problem with alcohol.

You seem to be taking this personally momhappy. Actually, number of you seem to be taking it personally.

This not aimed at you or anyone else. It's just my honest opinion.

Trick or treating, when I was a kid young enough to need supervision, never lasted more than 3 hours. And I was in bed by 9pm. And the adults partied after that time.

I think that, as a parent, if your kids are young enough that you don't feel comfortable sending them out unsupervised or with other parents, then drinking while following them around seems counterproductive. If something does happen, then having alcohol in your system isn't going to help. And if your kids are old enough, that you think they are safe without your vigilance, then why are you following them around in the first place? Just stay at home or go to a party and drink there.

Wandering the streets with a drink in your hand WHILE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING OUT FOR YOUR KIDS is very different than having a drink at a restaurant. If you can't see the obvious distinction, then I'm not going to waste my breathe explaining it to you.

And yes, I do think it sends a poor message to kids, as others have mentioned. Public intoxication and walking around the street drinking while you are supposed to be supervising kids is a mixed message.

So I guess I don't see the point in it. Just have a drink when it's over. And if you can't hold off 3 hours to have a drink... then maybe it's time you examine the reason for that.

As most usually is the case I am in complete agreement with your post Gypsy.
As for why some posters are taking this so personally, perhaps it has hit a nerve with those people and feels too close to home for comfort. It is never pleasant to have to reexamine behavior one once thought to be perfectly good.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

Taking it personal only in the sense that there are times when I've socialized with my adult friends/neighbors with a beer during our annual Halloween festivities. It hasn't "hit a nerve" or feels "too close to home for comfort" It's a beer. I'm fine with that
What was so interesting was the judgement that was being thrown around in this thread based on a single assessment of the situation. In other words, if you have a beer on Halloween, then you must have a drinking problem because clearly, you can't put down a cocktail long enough to go trick or treating. And lets not forget the commentary that implied that having a beer also somehow implies that one must not be a good parent because for most parents, seeing the enjoyment of your children on Halloween should be enough (implying that if you need a beer, then you must not be enjoying the time with your children....).
My drinking habits consist of a cocktail/glass of wine during our usual weekend dinners out (usually with a group of friends). As I've gotten older, I don't feel like my body processes alcohol very well, so I'm actually quite careful with my consumption. I was shocked that a leap was made from a beer on Halloween to alcoholism simply based on whether or not they engaged in one single action - and that's what I took personal. I would never assume to know whether or not someone had a drinking problem unless I knew them personally.

 

[kenny]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

Last night was fun.
One neighbor walked around with a glass of Scotch and enjoyed the festivities.

He's a police officer BTW.

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

We don't really have trick or treating in Scotland, but if we did there would be beer, sure as night follows day.

 

[partgypsy]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

It doesn't hit a nerve with me but in the situation of this neighborhood, and also our block, I guess I don't see if as just a holiday "for the children". People might be invited into houses for food, snacks, a beer. The kids are being walked around a pretty small area where they know the people. In general the way it works, is the parent who are walking around with the kids refrains, while the person handing out candy/hanging out at home begins first. So how do people feel about THAT, people having a beer while !gasp! in the presence of kids! While handing out candy??? Halloween was based on harvest festivals, where yes, there was drinking (maybe not excessive, but it was part of it).

When I was growing up, there were many holidays or situations where grown ups drank in the presence of kids. But they were grown ups and we were children. In a way, kids were 2nd class citizens. Beyond a certain (young) age we went out trick or treating with NO supervision of adults at all younger than kids are allowed now; we were considered to be responsible for ourselves. In summer we basically stayed out all day, only coming back for meals. If parents were having a cocktail party maybe we would all be sent to bed an hour early. I would guess for most of you these would be examples of bad parenting. We all turned out pretty well-rounded.

I do wonder why some people associate 1 beer=inebriated/irresponsible.
And I won't even used the word Puritan, because the Puritans were low-level drunk all the time (even the kids) because the weak beer they drank was more safe than drinking water.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: Is it wrong to bring a beer while your kids trick or tre

When you are watching children, in any situation, you shouldn't be drinking.
It sets a bad example, and is in BAD taste.

How about a wedding reception where children are present? A glass of wine at dinner? A 4th of July picnic? Im genuinely curious - is the only acceptable time to have an alcoholic beverage when no children are present at any time?

If you have children with you, and you are drinking at a wedding reception, 4th of July picnic,or out to dinner, won't you be driving those kids home? Doesn't that make you responsible? If there was an accident of some kind, would you really want to talk to the EMTs with alcohol on your breath?
Not to mention that it sends the message that alcohol is fun, exiting, and everyone does it and it is really great, etc.
Nothing good ever comes from drinking. Think about it.

My personal experience is the exact opposite. My parents would drink moderately (I never saw them drunk) at picnics, dinners or wedding receptions. That didn't make alcohol exciting. It made alcohol into something adults enjoyed moderately and responsibly. If I had never been exposed to responsible drinking, I might have seen it as something cool and forbidden, that I should sneak off to drink.