Just a friendly vent

[Keepingthefaith21]

Gosh ladies - I just need to vent for a moment because there are so few outlets IRL that I can use where what I am feeling won''t come back to haunt me at some point...

One of my bridal party members, let''s call her #1 basically pushed all the other bridal party members away and insisted she and another member, #2, plan the bachelorette. I didn''t want any part of the planning or anything else - so I left it to them to be adults. There were a few snags here and there but everything eventually seemed like it was heading in the right direction.

Today I get a call from #2 telling me that #1 asked her to e-mail the girls invited because #1 couldn''t find time to get the invitations in the mail before she left on her vacation. I was a little peeved because I kinda felt like #1 knew the invites needed to go out - heck I had given her lables and stamps to help save her time and money - however, it''s not something I''m going to kick up a storm about. Life happens. I told #2 I would send her the e-mails. Then party member #3 got involved (still not really sure how) and not only does she send out an Evite but she goes and gets brand new paper invites which are going in the mail tonight. Keep in mind all #1 wanted was a simple heads-up e-mail sent out. #1 and #3 have been at odds since day one and I really feel like #3 totally stepped all over the toes of #1 by sending an Evite and getting replacement paper invitations. I know in the end, when #1 finds out about this - I am going to be the one listening to her.

I''m so fed up with this. When I have been involved with other people and their friends or family - I NEVER cross any lines because I feel I owe it to my friend to respect that there are certain boundaries you just don''t cross. In fact, I had one friend who I love dearly who got totally screwed over by her MOH the day before her bachelorette - instead of being a jerk to her MOH I was pleasant and cooperated with her and managed to eek out last second plan changes. I could have been a total meanie - but it wasn''t my place to get angry with her. I felt any drama I started would inevitably end up my friends problem - and that''s not fair to do to her at all. I guess I am just disappointed that these particular friends can''t seem to see this situation in a similar light.

I never thought that I''d be dreading my wedding day because I have two friends who can''t figure out how to get along. It really makes me sad. I love each of these people for different reasons. I never expected them to be friends but I did expect basic respect.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[decodelighted]

Who gave #3 the list of people to invite ... THAT''s who #1 should complain to, if she dares complain because geez ... she''s the one who dropped the ball.

Maybe I don''t understand the problem correctly.

 

[SassyB]

Date: 8/6/2009 6:46:42 PM
Author: decodelighted
Who gave #3 the list of people to invite ... THAT''s who #1 should complain to, if she dares complain because geez ... she''s the one who dropped the ball.

Maybe I don''t understand the problem correctly.

I agree! #1 has no room to get mad at anyone! Maybe I don''t know all the details, but just from your post #3 was helpful.

Also, why would you need both an Evite and a paper invite?

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 8/6/2009 6:56:40 PM
Author: SassyB

Date: 8/6/2009 6:46:42 PM
Author: decodelighted
Who gave #3 the list of people to invite ... THAT's who #1 should complain to, if she dares complain because geez ... she's the one who dropped the ball.

Maybe I don't understand the problem correctly.

I agree! #1 has no room to get mad at anyone! Maybe I don't know all the details, but just from your post #3 was helpful.

Also, why would you need both an Evite and a paper invite?

That's kinda where the problem comes to light - #3 wasn't supposed to send out an Evite nor was she supposed to send out paper invitations. #1 just wanted an e-mail sent out giving the invites a heads up about the date, time and the fact that they could get a hotel room and note that a paper invite would follow. Almost like a virtual save the date, I guess. #3 decided that an evite should go out and decided to get new paper invitations.

Deco - #2 gave #3 the addresses - they were all together on the same spreadsheet. When #2 asked for the e-mails I sent her my spreadsheet which had e-mails and and addresses of the girls invited. I suppose I do share some blame in that - I should have removed the street addresses but I presumed #2 was only going to use it for the e-mails. My fault for having too much faith I suppose...

 

[kama_s]

Really, I don't see the big deal in this. I don't understand why #1 would be upset. She left, someone picked up her slack. If anything, she should be thanking #3. I don't seem to understand why any drama needs to be created.

ETA: Just wanted to quickly add that you shouldn't let this stress you or get to you. Just enjoy your wedding planning and all the festivities that are coming up and let the girls act like the women they are and fix things on their own

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 8/6/2009 8:22:15 PM
Author: kama_s
Really, I don''t see the big deal in this. I don''t understand why #1 would be upset. She left, someone picked up her slack. If anything, she should be thanking #3. I don''t seem to understand why any drama needs to be created.

I don''t understand eather

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

#1 is a bit of a control freak and pushed everyone else aside and kinda took control. I didn''t think she was this much of a PITA until I saw how disrespectful she was to everyone else. It is true what they say - you do learn who your friends are in the planning process.

I did get in touch with #3 and thanked her for getting the evites out so quickly. I then asked if she would hold off on paper invitations as they seemed unnecessary. So at least #1 can still send out her paper invites if she feels strongly about it.

Now I am just going to enjoy the rest of the fun, drama free planning part left. I can not wait to try my dress this weekend - WOOHOO!

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 8/6/2009 8:37:32 PM
Author: gaby06

Date: 8/6/2009 8:22:15 PM
Author: kama_s
Really, I don''t see the big deal in this. I don''t understand why #1 would be upset. She left, someone picked up her slack. If anything, she should be thanking #3. I don''t seem to understand why any drama needs to be created.

I don''t understand eather

Me either?