"Just Barely" Pregnant PS''ers

[ChargerGrrl]

HOU, I''m so very sorry to hear this news. I''ll continue to send good vibes and wishes your way. Please take care of yourself this weekend.

Bliss, I''m glad to hear that you''re feeling better. Huge HUGS to you!

 

[ljmorgan]

HOUMedGal I am so very sad to hear your news. I will be thinking of you and your little family and will be grieving along with you.

We are all rooting for you.

 

[Mara]

HMG i am SO sorry to hear your news... take care of yourself sweetie.

 

[dani13]

Oh HMG, Im so sorry. I wish you comfort during this very difficult time. *Hugs*

 

[HOUMedGal]

Thanks so much to everyone for your kind words. This outpouring of support you guys have shown really truly makes me feel a bit better. Even though I''ve never met most of you in person (Mara, I think you''re the only one of the posters in this thread I''ve met, actually! hehe) I do still feel like we have genuine friendships here, and it''s really nice to know that my friends are thinking of me.

Bliss, thank you so much for your super thoughtful and supportive post. *hugs* I am so sad about the outcome for both of us, but it helps to be able to go through this together. Thank you for being so open and sharing what you''ve been through these last couple of weeks...it definitely helps to read other womens'' stories to mentally prepare myself for what''s going to happen. Perhaps we will be BFP buddies together again in a while.

One overwhelming feeling I''m having right now is I want so badly to try again ASAP. One of the things I''m feeling angry about is the fact that now our baby timeline is now bumped 5-6 mos back...but I''m trying to comfort myself in the idea that things just weren''t meant to be right now, and I may never know WHY I wasn''t supposed to have a baby in July, but there must be a good reason. I was talking to my mom and dad about it....Mom had 2 miscarriages before me, and my dad said that of course the reason those happened was because I was the baby they were meant to have, and without those losses, painful as they were, they wouldn''t have gotten to enjoy all the pleasure of watching me become who I am today. Of course, that made me cry again. lol.

Today my doc said generally she advises a wait of 3 mos post-MC to allow the uterine lining to normalize. But I''ve read a ton of things online where people say that their doc said there''s no scientifically good reason to wait that long....others who say their doc told them to wait till after their 1st normal period, mostly for purposes of accurately dating the next pregnancy. I do want to make sure I''ve given myself time to appropriately grieve, but I feel like starting to try again as soon as we can (and the hope that comes with trying) is going to be an important part of my recovery, too. I will definitely wait until after my 1st normal period, but I don''t know if I will be able to wait 3 whole cycles. That feels like an eternity right now.

Looking forward to my family visiting this weekend....planning to do what I can to get my mind off things. I think the waiting this week is going to be really hard, but at least I''m starting to get my closure now that I know that the chances of this pregnancy being successful are super slim. Over the past 5 days, since my 1st US, there was still a glimmer of hope, so today was almost as equally painful as Monday when we had our 1st ultrasound. But I feel like if I go back next Thursday and there''s no heartbeat, it will feel more like relief and closure, of course with some more sadness mixed in. If I don''t start miscarrying naturally before then, and indeed the heartbeat has stopped by then, I will likely go for a D&C or MVA, because I think dragging it out and waiting to MC naturally will be way more painful for me than just getting it over with and moving on.

Thanks for letting me vent....it truly is therapeutic to get my thoughts down in words, and to know that many of you have gone through this before, too, and came out OK on the other end. Big hugs all around, and sticky dust to everyone!!!

 

[noelwr]

HMG, I can''t begin to imagine what you are feeling, but I can understand why you want to move on ASAP and start trying again. don''t know to tell you what''s the right decision on when to start again, but I am sure you and your husband will make the right decision for yourselves.

 

[noelwr]

Date: 12/4/2009 11:46:18 AM
Author: somethingshiny

With this pregnancy, I feel guilty because we weren''t longing for a baby like we were the first time and I actually forget that I''m pregnant. Is this normal??

well, I have nothing to compare it to, but I always forget that I''m preggers. it''s always in the back of my head so I''m not choosing the wrong stuff to eat during lunch, but when I''m hanging out with other people and we''re talking about other stuff, I totally forget. I think it''s also due to lack of symptoms and of course them not knowing and asking me about it. at home with DH we talk about it a lot and then I don''t forget.

 

[drk]

HMG - so sorry to hear how things are likely turning out. I decided I wouldn''t wait at all to TTC after my miscarriages. I don''t care about that line they throw out about waiting so they can better date the pg. If you''re charting, you''ll know when you ovulate anyhow, and an early ultrasound can easily confirm dates to within a few days. I don''t see why shedding the lining after a miscarriage should be any different than shedding the lining with a regular period. As far as I know, there''s no difference in how the endometrium breaks down, and since the embryo implants in the endometrium without affecting myometrium, how could it be any different. I''d heard people are more fertile after a loss, and I did have super fantastic EWCM the first cycle after mine (too bad DH was overseas).

One other thing you might think about is trying misoprostol before resorting to a D&C. I know that was my plan, had I needed it (didn''t either time). I didn''t want to risk uterine perforation or infection or adhesions if I could avoid it. Not that chances are high of those happening, but if I could do without the invasive procedure, I wanted to go that route. I could imagine it''s more painful than D&C while you''re under a brief GA, but I''m sure they could prescribe stonger pain meds if necessary. I didn''t need anything more than tylenol and a heating pad for my 8.5 week loss.

Hope it''s ok that I butted in with advice!

 

[KimberlyH]

HMG, after I miscarried my OB told me that in her 27 years of practice she has noted an approximated 10% increased risk in miscarriage when a patient gets pregnant prior to having one period after miscarriage, so she recommended that we wait until I go through one cycle and then start trying again. We waited her recommended time, and was pregnant my second cycle (miscarriage, not trying, period, period, pregnant again), obviously antecdotal but just thought I''d share.

 

[Mara]

HMG...I remember our fun TX meeting...gosh that seems like so long ago, years now!

re Waiting to try again... one of my friends went through this. They tried to wait for the body to naturally take care of things but it didn''t so she got the D&C. And then her Dr said they just had to wait for her hormone levels to level out naturally (though I think you can take drugs?). I think she said that took 2 cycles. So all together they started trying again about 3 months later.

Everything involving procreation always seems so *random* to me. What''s the rhyme or reason. One friend of a friend tried for NINE years with no success, and was in the middle of an adoption -- then got pregnant and carried her little girl to full term. It makes you really wonder, WHY after all that time suddenly everything was just aligned perfectly for her.

Also ditto others re: once your body knows what to do, a few friends doctors have said it comes easier the next time around. I SO hope that is true in your case (and Miss Bliss). Hang in there and just take care of yourself as best as possible. Hopefully before you know it, positive things will happen again.

 

[somethingshiny]

In my experience, you need to wait to try again until HcG levels come down and for your body to heal. However, my docs have always recommended trying again immediately after the first cycle. Most women are more fertile those first 3 months after a pregnancy. This all depends on your reason for miscarrying to begin with too. So get as much info from your doc as possible.

More hugs and prayers for you!!

 

[drk]

I think that you won''t actually ovulate until your HCG drops because the progesterone the corpus luteum puts out should continue and inhibit the right hormonal balance until the HCG is way way down. Seems like every time I''ve had the discussion in various forums, everyone''s doc has suggested different things. In the end, just do what feels right for you!

 

[oobiecoo]

Hi ladies... I''d like to join the group here if you''ll have me!

I just found out yesterday that I am pregnant and am so excited! I don''t remember exactly but I think I''m something like 3 and a half weeks along so far. I''m going to try to catch up on this thread in the next couple of days but wanted to go ahead and join the group.

 

[Bliss]

oobiecoo, CONGRATS! And welcome! Lots going on between the new mamas and the new mamas to be again.

HOU - to echo drk... My doctor tried the misoprostol because she believes in trying it before an invasive procedure such as a D&C. She scared me with the D&C, emphasizing that a lot of *her* patients experienced complications. Scared me to death. So that's why I went to a different doctor immediately. She just kept emphasizing that the D&C resulted in scarring of the uterus and some of her patients had infertility issues afterwards. I looked it up extensively and it's rare to have complications, but they do occur. There is also a syndrome called Asherman's Syndrome which causes infertility after D&C procedures due to the scarring. It's significant enough not to ignore the risks, I think.

That having been said, I wouldn't wait too long if you are seeking closure as quickly as possible. Sometimes, misoprostol doesn't work - maybe in 5% of women depending on the study? In my case, it didn't work and the waiting was scary and very mentally draining on me. Also, there is a significant number of women who use misoprostol and not *all* the tissue comes out so they have to have a D&C anyway. There is also a very small risk of infection and hemorrhaging with the misoprostol. I requested a D&C initially, because I didn't want to wait for the misoprostol and bleed for many days... Also, I did not want to have to go get my hormone levels checked every week continuously until they fell to an acceptable level. And if it didn't work, I did not want to end up getting a D&C anyway. I wanted closure and a clean start.

But my doctor insisted and I'm glad she did. She kept telling me that a D&C was a last resort. Once I learned more about the D&C, I knew it was absolutely not for me. I highly recommend the MVA if you can find a very qualified doctor who offers this care. It is very holistic and gentle, even therapeutic for helping the uterus to naturally shed the lining. It was a godsend and my original doctor even told me that she wished her hospital offered it. I feel so much better, even 5 minutes after the procedure - I felt such relief. I had no bleeding afterwards and was up and about, happy even. You are awake the entire time and it took maybe 3-4 minutes, with minor cramping for several seconds. I felt no pain. I held my mom's hand and talked to her during the procedure. They showed me the ultrasound afterwards and it was totally clean from what we could tell. Most of all, all the pregnancy symptoms disappeared almost instantly. I felt reborn after the nightmarish weeks of worry and grief. Now I feel such hope and even joy from this experience, having learned and grown so much thanks to our angel baby.

I hope this helps! In a way, I feel like we should move this to another thread. There is so much to celebrate here with the new mamas! But hey, I guess we're all in this together in a way...and the more you know, can't be a bad thing. Let us know if you want us to, though! I'm all about celebrating the new peanuts!!! And hoping to join you again...maybe one day!

 

[Dreamer_D]

HouMG and Bliss I am so sorry for you both. I have been following all the TTCers here on PS for about 18 months, since I started TTC myself, and you are so not alone in this sad experience. There are so many many women here, great loving wonderful women, who have had early losses. I agree with Mara, it really does seem so random to me. And at the same time, as Bliss and Cara mentioned, there is a pattern to life of birth and death, and what ultimately connects the dots between those experiences is women. Great, loving women. Strong women. Like you both. Hugs from me, and take care.

Oh, and HMG, it seems that many women on PS who have had early losses decided to TTc again after their first normal period and I can''t really think of anyone who had a negative outcome from trying that. Do what you think it right when you feel it is right and it will be fine.

 

[noelwr]

oobiecoo welcome and congrats! I saw your posts on the TTC thread. like you I also tested a few days before AF was due. if you don''t mind, of course, would you share your TTC story here?

 

[somethingshiny]

Big Congrats, Oobiecoo!! Lots of dust and prayers for a healthy and happy pregnancy!!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 12/5/2009 5:59:28 PM
Author: oobiecoo
Hi ladies... I''d like to join the group here if you''ll have me!

I just found out yesterday that I am pregnant and am so excited! I don''t remember exactly but I think I''m something like 3 and a half weeks along so far. I''m going to try to catch up on this thread in the next couple of days but wanted to go ahead and join the group.

yay! congrats!!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

HOU,

Girl, I''m so sorry to hear your news. Take time for you... and let your hubby help you through this. I will be looking forward to the better things yet to come for you, too! You will be in my prayers.

****
Ooobie,

I am so excited to see your news! I well remember you a while back on the TTC thread. Congratulations. I will be praying for a wonderful experience toward motherhood for you!!

 

[qtiekiki]

Congrats oobiecoo!!! Wishing you a happy healthy 9 months.

 

[dcgator]

Bliss and HMG: I have only been lurking in here, as my I am in the TTC phase, but I wanted to let you ladies know that my thoughts are with you both. You ladies have exhibited such grace under awful circumstances, and I hope that this will be only a small stumble on your way to mommyhood.

Oobiecoo: The last time I saw you was in BWW. Congrats on your pregnancy! I wish you a healthy and happy one

 

[Shoopy]

Congratulations Oobiecoo!

 

[oobiecoo]

Ok, I''ve finally had a chance to catch up on (hopefulyl)everything from this thread.

HOU and Bliss, I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you both find peace and are able to have healthy pregnancies soon.


Noelwr asked for me to share my TTC story here so here goes. We started TTC around August or so of last year when I came off of the birth control pill. Well, 6 months later my cycles STILL hadn''t straightened themselves out. My longest one was about 115 days so I went to the doctor. She ran some blood tests and determined that I have PCOS and put me on both Metformin and Prometrium. Just a couple of days after starting the medication, my period FINALLY came after the 115 or so days. Since then, all but one of my cycles have been regular and only 32-33 days long. However, I still wasn''t ovulating. I had already spoken to my doctor about starting chlomid around the beginning of 2010. Then, one day in November I ovulated! It felt like a miracle haha. That was right before Thanksgiving. Almost instantly I started feeling bloated and having indigestion so I had a strong feeling something was up. So here I am now... 4.5 weeks pregnant!

In addition to the bloating and indigestion, I''ve had lots of cramping and just a general feeling of being huge already. Also, is anyone else STARVING in the first couple of weeks of their pregnancy? I get so hungry and then I try to eat and can only eat maybe half of my normal portion size. And then 3 hours later I''m back to being starving.

My first doctors appointment will be at 6 weeks (from last period). The receptionist did say that I could come in for a short appointment just to confirm the pregnancy before my 6 week appointment if I wanted. I''d love to do that but was wondering... even if I have lost the baby already, wouldn''t I still test positive since it hasn''t been very long?

 

[ChargerGrrl]

CONGRATS, oobiecoo! sending good vibes and sticky dust your way

 

[Dreamer_D]

Oobie Congrats! Re early testing and doctors visits. You are right that a test at the doctors won''t tell you anything you can''t learn at home. They just use an hpt anyways. People vary in how the feel about this, but I personally waited until 10 weeks to see my doctor, which is normal practice where I am from, and I am very glad that I did. Unfortunately, there is nothing modern medicine can do to help prevent a loss if it is possibly coming, and often early monitoring can create extra stress when things don''t look as good as they should, but then turn out ok. I think that you need faith when you are pregnant and especially in those early weeks. Trust that things will be ok, believe your hpt''s, and then go see your doc when you are regularly scheduled.

 

[noelwr]

oobiecoo, thank you for sharing your story, and I am glad you finally have some good news after such a long wait and thinking you weren''t ovulating. I agree with dreamer that going to the dr to test for a positive seems pointless when you can do that at home. the first appointment I have at the dr is a blood test and I asked them why I needed to do that because I already know I''m pregnant, but they said it''s standard to test for any health conditions I might have like HIV. unfortunately, yes, I do think if you lost the baby you would still test positive for a short while, but you shouldn''t think like that. anyway, it''s already quite something that you have a 6 week appointment. I have to wait until 9.5 weeks before I get an U/S and can actually SEE that everything is ok.

I don''t have a feeling of starving, but from around 10am to lunch time I have to have small snacks to keep the slightly nauseous feeling at bay. I can''t complain (yet) because I don''t wake up with it (which is perfect because I work out in the morning) and the feeling goes away after lunch. also I never feel like I have to run to the bathroom to vomit, just a slight feeling of being unwell. anyway, who knows what next week will bring.

good luck to you throughout the next 8 months and keep us posted.

 

[geri]

Hi everyone. I thought I would come and join you because I am also JBP. Got my BFP on Monday and am about 4.5 to 5 weeks pregnant (from LMP). Oobiecoo, we must be pretty close to the same date! I have an appointment with my doctor this morning but don''t expect it to be anything other than a blood test. Apparently, it is common here not to have an ultrasound until close to 12 weeks so I''m hoping I can convince them to do it a little before that. I know it won''t make any difference to the outcome but I think I will go mad waiting otherwise.

Other than tender breasts, I don''t have any symptoms. My breasts aren''t as tender as they were last week so not sure whether that is a good or bad sign? I know I am overanalysing every little feeling in my body but I am so nervous it won''t stick.

Good luck to everyone over the next few weeks.

 

[jcrow]

geri - congrats!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 12/7/2009 6:56:01 PM
Author: oobiecoo
Ok, I''ve finally had a chance to catch up on (hopefulyl)everything from this thread.


HOU and Bliss, I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you both find peace and are able to have healthy pregnancies soon.



Noelwr asked for me to share my TTC story here so here goes. We started TTC around August or so of last year when I came off of the birth control pill. Well, 6 months later my cycles STILL hadn''t straightened themselves out. My longest one was about 115 days so I went to the doctor. She ran some blood tests and determined that I have PCOS and put me on both Metformin and Prometrium. Just a couple of days after starting the medication, my period FINALLY came after the 115 or so days. Since then, all but one of my cycles have been regular and only 32-33 days long. However, I still wasn''t ovulating. I had already spoken to my doctor about starting chlomid around the beginning of 2010. Then, one day in November I ovulated! It felt like a miracle haha. That was right before Thanksgiving. Almost instantly I started feeling bloated and having indigestion so I had a strong feeling something was up. So here I am now... 4.5 weeks pregnant!


In addition to the bloating and indigestion, I''ve had lots of cramping and just a general feeling of being huge already. Also, is anyone else STARVING in the first couple of weeks of their pregnancy? I get so hungry and then I try to eat and can only eat maybe half of my normal portion size. And then 3 hours later I''m back to being starving.


My first doctors appointment will be at 6 weeks (from last period). The receptionist did say that I could come in for a short appointment just to confirm the pregnancy before my 6 week appointment if I wanted. I''d love to do that but was wondering... even if I have lost the baby already, wouldn''t I still test positive since it hasn''t been very long?

re: starving. been there. i barely could eat anything at the beginning. nothing sounded good. nothing tasted good. nothing smelled good. but i needed to eat otherwise i''d get sick. and i''d only a a tiny bit and then be done with it! 2 hours later i was hungry again. it was a yucky cycle. thankfully all that went away once i got into my second trimester.

 

[meresal]

Geri and Oobiecoo- Congratulastions on your BFP!

HMG and Bliss- I am so sorry for both of your losses. You are very stong women and have no doubt that you will get through this and cmoe out even stronger on the other side. Hope to see you again soon ladies!