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"Just Barely" Pregnant PS''ers

i really appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers, dust, etc.
i REALLY don't want this post to scare people- especially since there are so many of us who just had a BFP in the past few weeks. miscarriages happen 20% of the time- unfortunately i fall into that category.

it appears this isn't the time for me to have a baby. the betas from last weds to last friday only went from about 2500 to 3400. clearly things have slowed down.
i am going in today to finally see MY doctor (who is apparently doing hospital rounds this week, but they found a way for me to see him), and the nurse i talked with today said he will be very frank and honest with me, which is what i want. they will conduct one more ultrasound today to make a determination. i don't feel "pregnant" anymore. my emotions are so mixed- even tho this was not the ideal time for my husband and i to conceive, we were both so excited to become parents. so even if it wasn't "perfect" timing, it was good enough for us and we both knew our lives would change, but we could still continue on our professional tracks for the jobs we wanted as well.

i'm doing ok. honestly. i think my husband was clinging to more hope than i was. i haven't started to naturally miscarry yet, but i'm at the point where i want to move forward. i haven't been able to think about anything else for the past week. i just want some sense of normalcy back. people at work are starting to wonder what in the world is going on, since today i had to walk out of there crying (thanks to my doctor's office for calling me at 10:30.) i had to call my off-site boss and explain to her what is happening so she understood why i've been so absent. she told me just to take all the time i need, and not to worry about anything. so i'm just going to relax a little bit, go to my appointment this afternoon, and stay strong.

i know people will respond to this post, but i might not respond for awhile. i'm going to probably take a little break from writing on PS just to calm down. i hate feeling like the downer- we've got so much great stuff going on!!!! and i know too many other women on here have been in my shoes before, so i'm going to read some of the other threads that have touched on this in the past. i'm so excited there are all these women who have had losses who are now TTC again- and i don't want to be that glaring reminder of a m/c. you never think this is going to happen to you. but i know everyone is thinking about me- and i'll be cheering for all of you from more of a lurker's point of view.

all the best to everyone! -kate
 
I''m so sorry Charbie, take some time for yourself, we''re here when/if you need to talk.
 
I''m sorry Charbie. I know how attached you get to your little bean from the instant you get that second line. Please take care of yourself. Let those furbabies and that hubby of yours spoil you.

I''m glad that your boss is so understanding and hope that your break from PS does you some good. We''re all here when you''re ready to talk.
 
Ah Charbie- so sad! Hope you recover well and quickly from your brief pregnancy. Don''t feel bad about having sad news! This is life, and there are so many women that have gone through/will go through what you are going through. Having read about so many ps women that had early miscarriages to go on to have healthy pregnancies gave me a certain amount of comfort during my early miss. Take care of yourself and your DH!

Laila, that is awesome! So sweet.
 
Aww, I''m so very sorry Charbie.
 
I am so sorry Charbie *hugs*
 
So sorry to hear that, Charbie.
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*hugs* to you
 
Miss Charbie,

I am so very sorry to hear about your little bean. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I think its good for you to take some time, but please know that we will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. If you continue to check in, please take this large ((((HUG)))). I know its not much, but its all I can give from here. Take all the time you need, and if you feel like talking, we are here for you.
 
charbie, i am so sorry for your loss. please take care of yourself at this difficult time.
 
Charbie, I''m very sorry to hear the results of your blood work. It is important to remember, like you said, that miscarriage is so common. It is so infrequently discussed in real life that it is easy to forget this. Take good care of yourself, and we''re all here for you when you''re ready.
 
Oh, charbie. I just stopped in to see how you were doing. I''m so sorry for your loss. Several losses have been posted in this thread if you feel like reading back. It may help to hear what other women have been through and how they recovered. Everyone grieves and recovers differently so don''t push yourself in any way. Lots of big ((((hugs)))) for you.
 
Charbie-I am so sorry! Huge hugs (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))).
 
Oh Charbie. I started tearing up when I read your post. Take the time you need and before you know it, you''ll be back on this thread again.
 
Date: 4/19/2010 9:40:39 AM
Author: Laila619
So DH and I saw the heartbeat this morning at our first ultrasound!!! I am 6 weeks 1 day today, and we''re having a singleton. It was SO amazing seeing that little flicker pumping away that I cried.
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We got to take home pictures too!
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Laila!!!!! What great news! You must be SO relieved! I can''t wait to have that feeling. I get my HCG blood work results tomorrow and I''m hoping I have good numbers. First hurdle before hearing the heartbeat! Anyway have you told people yet?
 
I''m sorry Charbie - I was thinking of you today and sending you positive thoughts. Take as much time as you need to begin to recover and know that we''re all here for you when you decide to come back
 
Charbie, I am so sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself. Hugs.
 
OK I know I''m being paranoid, but do symptoms come and go? My (*)(*)s are still a little sore, but not as sore as they were a couple of days ago, and I still get twinges in my tummy, but not like before. AAAAHHHH!!! I''m going crazy! I woke up in the middle of the night for a good 3 hours convincing myself I''m not pregnant anymore.
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Date: 4/20/2010 9:16:12 AM
Author: Lanie
OK I know I''m being paranoid, but do symptoms come and go? My (*)(*)s are still a little sore, but not as sore as they were a couple of days ago, and I still get twinges in my tummy, but not like before. AAAAHHHH!!! I''m going crazy! I woke up in the middle of the night for a good 3 hours convincing myself I''m not pregnant anymore.
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Click to expand...
Yes, it''s normal Lanie!
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Everything I''ve read says that as your hormone levels change, symptoms can come and go. I''m 6 weeks 2 days and still have yet to have any morning sickness. But my little tadpole has a good strong heartbeat.
 
Thank you thank you thank you for writing back Laila. I'm seriously freaking out. I don't want to tell my DH bc he'll think I'm a basket case. You are in the clear, so you must be so relieved
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. God I wish I was where you are now! I just want to make this happen!!! I made the mistake of going online and reading other people's miscarriage stories, and I'm so sorry I did. I just want to go home from work today and crawl into bed and fast-forward 2 weeks.
 
Date: 4/20/2010 9:24:46 AM
Author: Lanie
Thank you thank you thank you for writing back Laila. I''m seriously freaking out. I don''t want to tell my DH bc he''ll think I''m a basket case. You are in the clear, so you must be so relieved
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. God I wish I was where you are now! I just want to make this happen!!! I made the mistake of going online and reading other people''s miscarriage stories, and I''m so sorry I did.
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You and me both! I''ve got to stay off The bump. I think I''m driving my DH nuts.
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Charbie - I''m so sorry for your loss!!
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I''ve been in your shoes and I know how much it hurts. Take time for yourself to grieve. Also, take comfort in knowing that you CAN get pregnant which is half the battle. You WILL become pregnant again and you''ll come out of this stronger. It will also make your relationship with your hubby stronger as well as you both will need each other to lean on.

There are some miscarriage and pregnancy loss threads on here which were helpful for me.

xoxoxo
 
Lanie- symptoms come and go so try not to worry. Its because all the hormones are fluxuating in your body right now so one day you may have soreness and the next day it may totally disappear. the same thing happened with me. And some days you may feel more pregant than other....the important thing is you ARE pregnant!!!!
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Laila- so happy you were able to see the little flicker! Its such an amazing experience and so exciting! So happy for you!

.....And definitely stay away from those crazy message boards and stuff! (except this one!). I had shoulder pain around 7 weeks and after reading a bunch of stuff on the internet I convinced myself I was having an etopic (shoulder pain is apparently a sign?!?) - I called my doctor and she said to stay away from the internet!!! haha!
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Charbie, I am so very sorry. Tons of hugs to you. I have been there, and I know how much it sucks. I never MC''ed naturally....ended up having my D&C 4 days after we confirmed that the heartbeat was gone. Just be gentle with yourself right now, allow yourself to grieve, and know that we''re all here for you. Feel free to post any questions you have. If you want, check out this thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/early-pregnancy-loss.132774/ It''s the early pregnancy loss thread that Geri started when she, Bliss, Noel, and I all had our MC''s around the same time a few months ago.

Huge hugs to you.
 
Charbie, I''m so sorry to hear of the loss. I''ll be thinking about and praying for you and your hubby. ***Hugs***
 
Charbie
*hugs* I''m so sorry to hear.
Reading those threads (one started by geri and another by blushingbride) did help especially reading about how many of those ladies did end up getting preggo again fairly quickly. Take care of yourself and I know you''ll be back in no time.
 
Laila
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for the heartbeat.
Isn''t that just a pretty sight?

Lanie
Don''t worry about the pregnancy symptoms or lack of.
I didn''t have any symptoms at all (no m/s, sore boob, stretching or cramping) with mine.
I know it is easier said than done, but relax and enjoy the absence of your AF ^.^
 
HH, pupp, cara, laila (yay hb!!!), lucy, elle, dcgator, sb, LV, shiny, bella, lanie, maevie, snlee, blushing, lynnie, lili, hou- whew ladies! I''m just blown away from the support. Not having told many people I was pregnant makes it difficult to discuss miscarrying. So I need this board more than I expected!
Ill post my story on another thread once I''m feeling better, but right now I''m on my second dose of cytotec...night #1 didn''t work. My doc said this actually is a silver lining...I''m a magnificent incubator apparently and my body just doesn''t want to give up the perfect gestational sac that should have an embryo!
I really hope it works tonight. I''m also really upset bc all of the googling I''ve done keeps calling cytotec and misoprostol "the abortion pill." Ok, fine. I''m pro choice. But it is so hurtful to try to read about other peoples experiences with this medication and keep reading about abortions. I am not choosing to abort! It makes me want to scream. So I''m laying off the internet for now, and just praying I don''t need to end all of this with a d&c.
Thank you all again. Since I''m not comfortable talking about this over and over again with all the people in my daily real life, it is therapeutic to type this out and discuss what''s happening and not get the blank stares and people wanting to hug you all the time. I like (hugs) online...not so much the real ones...haha! So thank you all for the hugs and prayers.
 
Oh Charbie. Glad you see the silver lining in all of this. Hopefully your DH and the few that know are taking good care of you. This is so sad to read and unfortunately I''m discovering how common early m/c''s are. It''s such a sad reality. Please keep us updated and I hope to see you preggo again soon. Good luck with the 2nd dose of the medicine.we are all thinking of you. ((( Pricescope Version of the I Hope you Feel Better Soon Huge Hug!)))
 
Thanks, lanie. I''m so excited for you and your little bean! Do not let my experience worry you...your bean is cooking away in there! I know its your time...!

DH is really helpful. We took a nice long walk with our pups tonight, and it was just wonderful being our little family. Our dogs were making us laugh...we''ve really gained a whole new respect for one another in all of this too. I feel so much closer to him. He''s normally motivating me to be healthier, work out, and get out and do stuff (he can''t sit still) but he has been rubbing my back when I''m just laying on the couch or in bed, and even brought home milkshakes with dinner tonight...he''s never done that before...and I didn''t evem ask him to! In fact, I couldn''t tell u the last time either of us had a milkshake! I think he wants to start trying again prob a little sooner than I do. And actually, I asked my ob for a new BCP script. I don''t think I''m ready to go thru all of this for a few more months, so we are going to wait until probably later this year or early next year to TTC again. The mc throws timing with my job for a loop, so it makes sense now to wait.
 
Charbie, I''m so happy to hear that your DH has been an amazing support to you.
 
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