Ladies-In-Waiting Part III

[kanne]

welcome new ladies!!

Blingqueen - while it is true that most of us ladies would probably leap tall buildings in a single bound to get our dream e-ring, I see no reason why you can't post!?! welcome! If you read back through our posts, you will notice all sorts of real life issues that each of us are dealing with as we get through this transitional point in our lives.

IMO, if you are taking it slow..that means to me that you are still healing from your previous marriage. Healing is always a good thing. I'm just wondering.. what is the primary issue in your mind that stops you from getting engaged?

alleycat (BIGHUGS). You are so strong and brave. I have had my own issues with food and weight. Not figure skater issues though..I can imagine that would be incredibly tough!!! After many years of battling it out, I've found two solutions..#1 moderation. #2 A hot pair of "fat jeans" and a hot pair of "skinny jeans". Now I feel good about myself if I need those fat jeans and can face the "slimming back down" process with a smile.

GG- I am loving your posts! Yes, of course I'd step in for you (re: secretary)!

ps. We were at CVS last night and my BF bought me some wedding **** (the new issue of wedding style which is GREAT) and a wedding Barbie (yes I just turned 33, but I wasn't allowed to have barbies growing up so this is kind of a campy running joke). hmmmmm.

more hugs to all

-lovey

 

[honeynut]

Lauren - I can admit it now, your setting without a center stone reminded me of the Sauron's tower in the Lord Of The Rings!!

I never expected it to be so gorgeous. WOW. I am not even a sapphire fan, but the color of that oval is so complex and rich! I can't picture it with anything BUT an oval, now. It is really sublime!

Can you please please please post a profile shot??

 

[Tybee]

Oh Blueroses,
I love the sappires...they''re just elegant!
MelissaSue,
The facets eternity ring is my favorite of your choices. I like the idea of having a ring that matches your engagement ring...but I think that I would want a wedding ring that I could wear alone-so I''m not so sure that I would want one that forms to my ring.
Blue824, thanks for the Estatediamonds link...I''ve looked there before, but never bookmarked it.

 

[katrina_33]

Blueroses - you went out in this weather!?!?!? Are you in LA or OC? I haven''t left my house all weekend. (it''s been raining really hard and constantly here for 10 days straight, everyone. Oh, and sometimes thunder and lightning, sometimes rock and mud slides that block the roads where I live, and always fog so bad that I can''t find my way out to the main road!!!!! I am going nuts!!!) I like Phillip Press - I popped in for just a minute with a girlfriend while shopping on Sunset a while back, but I didn''t look for Daniel K specifically. Thanks!

Bookoflove - "He''s just not into you" is such a funny book. It''s so funny how we can make excuses and fail to see the obvious about how someone is treating us and what it means. I used to be the queen of it about 5 years ago. Like, a guy wouldn''t have called all day when he said he would, and I would call the cell phone company to check and make sure my phone wasn''t broken! (OK, that just happened once, and is a really embarrasing, extreme example, but you get the picture!) Sounds like your attitude is, that''s fine if someone just isn''t that into me, there are plenty of people who would be, so why waste time and energy worrying about one who isn''t? You got it down!

Alleycat - I feel for you. What''s so hard is that the obvious advice is "go with your gut (or heart)" but I''ve been in situations like this before where I just don''t know what that would mean! Sounds like this is one of them where it''s not just as simple as going with what you know to be right in your heart, because you are truly torn both ways. But, over time and with some space I''m sure you''ll get some clarity and know more what you really want/need.

Blingqueen - welcome. how long has it been since you were proposed to? what did you say at the time, that you needed more time to think about it? or yes, I''ll marry you but am not ready to start planning a wedding right away? was the proposal a surprise? it''s a different boat than most of us are in for sure, but it makes sense that you''d want to talk about it here.

 

[icekid]

katrina- i really like that split shank you posted! my original inspiration was the daniel k union square which is absolutely gorgeous! i am kind of leaning toward having a split shank that is a little more "curvy" though, because i think it will show off the cushion shape better. there''s a leon mege that i really like, i''ll try and post the picture. i''ve been a little worried too about how it will sit with the wedding band, but i really like the uniqueness of it, so i guess i''ll have to figure something out for that later.

BOL- glad to hear you''re doing so well! and i think i would die for a cute brazilian boy with a sexy accent too... yum! sounds promising

ally- i definitely want a leon mege too!!! i don''t know if my bf will really be able to find what i want without going custom anyway. and that way i know i''ll love it no matter what, since my bf isn''t letting me have any say in the final product. i''m glad you finally got a chance to talk with your bf though. i think you should just REALLY take your time to figure out what you want. you know that you love each other very much, so i think your bf should be willing to wait while you take care of YOU. i know it will all work out!! just give yourself some time...

welcome ambergretchen and congrats on your impending ring!

gg- those 52 days of romance cards look really fun... i think i may have to pick those up for v-day! and i''m sending you good job karma!

blueroses- your ring is sooo pretty!!

who else is getting excited about lovey''s leon mege?!?! yay i can''t wait to see that baby

ok, i think that covers it for now... i''m going to try to attach the leon ring that i am thinking about doing, except with a cushion of course... here goes!

 

[blueroses]

Oooh, Icekid, I love that Leon ring too!! I''m with all of you--Leon''s stuff is just amazing. Ever since my bf and I discussed the liklihood of using a "family" diamond, I''ve let myself go back and drool on Leon''s site and it is so tempting. Esp. since we will be doing something customr now almost for sure. Not sure which ring you meant that I posted?.....I don''t have one yet

BUT, I''ve been going nuts posting possible weddind bands w/ lots of sapphires and stuff

....maybe you mean Lauren''s new sapphire RHR which is FABU!! It''s hard to keep track of everything/everybody!!

Lovey, we have too many weird things in common.....the near-decade relationship finally approaching marriage in our early 30s, the LOVE for asschers and Leon, and NOW, I find out you weren''t allowed to have Barbies either??!!! Too funny!! Yep, my mom thought they were a negative sexual stereotype and there were no Barbies in my house!! Although I did have a Princess Leia doll and a Marie Osmond doll! OOH, wedding ****.....is that issue you got the one w/ Mariska Hargitay on the cover? I poured over that cover to cover in the store the other day

Katrina, I probably confused you locale-wise. I live in NY but I grew up in SoCal and with my dad''s recent illness I was just at home for the holidays for over 3 weeks. And my boyfriend (who grew up in NYC!) moved back to La Jolla (my hometown) last year so we have been temporarily long distance. (I also used to live in LA, so I''m very familiar with it.......and were I there, I would be INDOORS!!! In fact, my baby nephew is being baptized in BevHills today and my parents are taking the TRAIN up from SD just to avoid the roads right now!!) LOOONG story short that is probably buried in the older thread-- we each live in the other''s hometown. BUT.....and this is news I haven''t shared yet.....

I''m MOVING. I''m a little freaked about it, actually, but I am leaving the city and will be back in CA before the end of the month. Between family, bf, little nephews, getting more film than stage work, etc., there have been a lot of reasons to make the change from NY to CA.....I kind of knew I''d be going back sometime this year, but this is pretty sudden still. My dad is doing so much better health-wise now, but he works for himself and he has lost so much time....the whole month of Dec. and now he''s not really at 100% for both the catch up and attacking the Jan-Feb work the way he needs to. And he''s one of those very guy-guys that never asks for help.....and he''s asking for my help

SO....I''m moving back home to work for him. I know it''s the choice that makes sense, but it''s still daunting. For a long time I said I wouldn''t move back there to be with my bf until we were engaged (which is kind of silly and blackmail-ish, I know) but now I''m actually doing it, and it''s for my family, not for him. Although I think being in the same place again will force us/him to move forward on the engagement issue. I think? Luckily I have been paring down posession-wise for around a year--when Bud moved he took a lot of my stuff with him that he''s storing (we had been living together here) so it''s not like I''m dealing with big furniture or anything....mostly books and clothes. SO if anyone has some serious good advice about parting with stuff, I could use it! I tend to be a packrat and I''m going to really try this time to just purge--I don''t need the tv, stereo, george forman grill, coffee grinder......between my parents and bf, all that stuff is out there.

WOW, sorry for the rambling tangent. I''m just coming to grips with the fact that I''m really leaving-I''ve only told a few of my friends!! So thanks for listening to my babbling and any advice would be appreciated!

Happy Sunday

 

[LaurenThePartier]

honeynut - thank you.  Here''s a pic of the ring in profile.

And one that actually shows off the gorgeous colour when inside.

 

[blueroses]

Lauren, WOW!! Those pics are even more amazing. Stunning!!

 

[MelissaSue]

umm. that ring that icekid posted is FREAKING amazing. CAN IT HAVE IT??? drooooooooooooooooool..

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Thank you blueroses!  Don''t tell my b/f . . . he took the pics from yesterday. Today''s photo shoot was all me. 

 

[Tybee]

Lauren,
Speechless...breathtaking...wow!

 

[kanne]

oh lauren, that's a lovey ring! I can NOT believe that you found the setting on ebay. amazing. The center stone is delicious as well!

icekid - hello there. I love the leon ring that you posted. Keep in mind tho that the setting works because the stone is a monster..has to be at the very least 4cts. Re: my LM ring and long awaited proposal.. I've been trying to stay away from pricescope (futile) so that I can focus on stuff I need to do and not spend the day breathing into a paper bag!!

blueroses - LOL!!! I thought I was the only one without barbies!! My mom had the same theory. YES! I also had a Princess Leia and a Marie Osmond. That is wierd. I loved my Princess Leia doll. Are you planning on shipping your things to CA or will you drive? Will you work for your Dad full-time or part-time? It is such a big step for your Dad to ask for help and you are responding with so much love and understanding. Good karma. I agree that it is difficult to part with things..but when you do, you will feel so much lighter! Always follow your heart which seems, this time, to be leading you back to CA. My BF and I have this dream of finding a home and raising our child/children somewhere on the coast between Santa Cruz and San Fran. Although I would miss NYC terribly, I'm convinced that the quality of life is better there. hmmm. the Wedding Style that I have is a special issue. I don't watch a lot of TV and am not sure who Mariska Hargitay is..but the cover features a brunette in a 30's style wedding dress, a mysterious man in a fedora and a horse. lol. When you open the issue, the first ad is for the Daniel K boxster....

**Consolation prize: no matter where you are in the world, you still have us!!

-lovey

ps tybee..your avatar..what a sweetie. He would give my 12 year old kitty a massive heart attack but I love your pup.

 

[teebee]

Ohmygosh ~ There is a tv show, don''t know what it is, but I always hear them say "miss a day, miss a lot" or something like that. That''s how I feel with this thread!!!

Okay, so those of you who have had to live in the same house with your rings prior to receiving it are superhuman or something. I mean, mine is still in Houston, just being made and the suspense is killing me!!! It''s like I''ve waited since we started looking last March but now that it''s only a few days away I don''t think I can take it!! I''m kinda that way though ~ it may take me a long time to make a decision about something, but once I do, I want it now & I don''t wanna wait one minute longer!!!

I''ve been trying to keep myself busy the last few days in order to keep myself sane... Although I''ve broken down and purchased bridal **** (FOUR mags

). Couldn''t help it...

I''m still hiding it though until I get the ring next week, I don''t want to scare my boyfriend & he already thinks I''m completely obsessive compulsive. Or ADD, he can''t figure out what my dysfunction is...

Spring semester starts tomorrow so that should keep my mind occupied.

Lauren ~ Oh that ring is just amazing. I love it with the blue sapphire, really really really love it!! I think it''s so cute that these photos were the ones you took, that cracks me up. Yep, if my family were that far away like yours then the Ozarks would not be practical at all. All of my family is in Oklahoma & Texas so it works out for me ~ and I''m still trying to incorporate a little "destination" wedding feel since my first choice of Mexico isn''t really doable.

Sauron''s tower!!! It does kinda look like that w/out the stone!! Although if I weren''t such a LOTR dork I probably would not have been able to see that.

MelissaSue ~ I prefer the Facets eternity band as well, I think it would just be so versatile in addition to being beautiful!!

Blue824 ~ A wedding in Italy... Oh, my... I can''t think of anything better than that!!! If that were an option for me than I''d scrap the church/chapel thing in a heartbeat!!!

Katrina ~ that''s an interesting question about whether it''s imperative to see a setting in person... I guess I''d have to answer "no" since I''m having a custom setting made by Whiteflash, and it was inspired by Mara''s setting, which I haven''t seen in person... But at the same time, I''ve seen some settings that I thought would be perfect from the photo I''d seen but were disappointing in person (Precision Set)...


Welcome heartsonfire, Blue Chica

Blue Chica ~ I can totally relate to what you''re going through!! My boyfriend had really wanted to pay cash for the ring... which is great, I''m all about responsible debt management, but he is a dentist, has over $100,000 in student loans, on top of business loan to purchase his practice, a land mortgage for a commercial lot that he bought upon which he plans to build a new office several years from now, dental equipment loans, house mortgage, car loan, credit card debt (mostly from when he was in college, he didn''t have any help coming from anywhere so he pretty much lived off of cc''s)... So finally the week of Christmas I asked him, with all the debt he has... what''s $7000 more??? I feel kind of bad but at the same time, if we waited to be able to pay cash... I may not be able to have babies by that time!!!

When we started looking at rings last March, that kinda made me think it would be sometime in the 2-3 months following, and then it wasn''t, and I got so frustrated ~ almost like, don''t take me to look at rings or talk about all of this if it''s not going to actually materialize shortly thereafter! And I''m used to being in control of things so this is a very different position to be in. Anyhow, like I said, I hear where you''re coming from!! Except that I won''t be having that romantic proposal ~ it just ain''t us!!

GG ~ That game sounds so fun!! How sweet that he''s really participating and getting into it! I''m glad that you gave him the heads up on the planning. Sometimes they need to be reminded that there''s a lot more to do AFTER the ring gets here, not just before! I think it''s getting closer...

twinkletoes ~ Oh, I completely think that you should be able to get something that you adore!!! I can understand that your boyfriend has his opinions and preferences... And, maybe I''m sounding spoiled and selfish, but the way I see this (and also what I told my boyfriend) is, this is what you''re going to wear, on your hand, every day, day in, day out, for years and years and years and years!! This isn''t a trinket or a bauble... I have pieces of jewelry that I love for certain types of occasions, or certain moods, etc, ~ you must LOVE it EVERYDAY!! And I think the setting is such a great way to express your personal taste and style, it''s an extension of your personality & if the tiffany setting isn''t you, then it isn''t you. I love that setting on some of my friends, and it really suits them, but it doesn''t suit me either so I get it. And being surprised... I told my boyfriend that I''d rather be involved, or rather, completely in control of picking out the diamond & setting because I didn''t want the surprise to be "surprise, it''s a really tacky ring!!!" Maybe you can find gentle ways to say that the tiffany stile, while classic and timeless and he has wonderful taste, doesn''t appeal to you as much as it does to him...

Oh, I have to take a breath now... later!!

 

[MelissaSue]

Lovey - The magazine of which you speak is actually calledf "In-style Weddings" which is a special issue of InStyle magazine. I think it only comes out once a year (possibly twice) but its AWESOME. I have all the wedding magazines. I am subscribing to Brides and Modern bride.. and I still buy just about every other magazine I see.

The only ones I would stay away from are "Wedding Dresses" I find it sort of boring.. and it has suprisingly few dresses for the name of the mag. but actually its got a nice e-ring selection usually and "For the Bride" which I gather is fairly new and one issue ALL the ads were for Demetrios gowns (or one of their daughter companies) and one jewelery designer that I can''t rememember right now. The NEW issue of wedding bells (by wedding channel.com) is actually pretty good, but the last issue was BAD BAD.

"THE KNOT" magazine is the freakin best. Its $10 and it only comes out twice a year. The new one is out in some places.. but I havent'' seen it aroiund here yet. I CAN''T WAIT TO GET IT. For me, last years spring issue was the magazine that started it all. I found my A Jaffe e-ring setting in it AND the Melissa Sweet gown that was my inspiration for my wedding gown search.

Lauren - I love your right hand ring!!! sooo pretty and detailed.. and the saph is lovely!

 

[Tybee]

Lovey,
that''s funny about your 12 year old cat. My Penny is terrified of cats. She got swiped in the nose by a kitten once, and now trembles at the sight of them.

Blueroses,
Good luck with your move. I for one love to purge and start new. It could be fun if you look at it the right way.

MelissaSue,
You make me laugh with your bridal magazine collection! I actually broke down and bought my first bridal magazine the other day. I was kind of afraid of it, I don''t know why. Maybe it''s because I''ve been such a tom-boy all my life and hadn''t really thought of these things.

Okay, I think I''ve solved my wedding band dilemna. As I said before, the guy at Bailey Banks and Biddle sort of snubbed his nose at me when I went in to the store wanting to try on pave bands and eternity bands and the such. He said that my ring, while a classic style, doesn''t leave a lot of room for creative bands (I have a RB .88 carat in a setting with side baguettes.) My heart fell a little bit, because I really wanted to have something special. Anyhow, here''s my plan...two wedding bands! (is that greedy?) I want a super simple, super thin 2mm platinum band AND a really tiny tiny eternity band.
Hopefully something like this

http://www.estatediamondjewelry.com/item.cfm?int_item_id=274&cat_id=11
I''d wear the eternity band first...then the simple platinum..then my e-ring.
Tell me honestly...is this too much? Should I just go simple platinum? I guess that I wanted a little extra bling---

 

[Tybee]

Oh, here''s my e-ring...

 

[Tybee]

Oh crud...I thought I''d figured this all out.

 

[goldengirl]

Wow, lauren, it''s even more amazing from the front view!! You definitely did right by setting it with such a rich blue sapph.....

I had a great girls'' day out today... now I gotta get to sewing. Catch y''all in the morning!!

 

[MelissaSue]

Tybee - I think that would look AWESOME. A simple plat. band and an eternity band is not greedy or too much at all. It sounds like it would look very classy. I like the look of stacked bands.

My sister is so funny. She has a 3 stone ring just a tad bigger than mine ( 1ct+ with two .5+ sidestones vs my .95 ct with .30 sidestones) , and they are set up higher so it appears larger.. but she doesn''t have a wedding band, because her ring is actually an upgrade, so she never got a matching band. However.. SHE wants.. TWO 4 stone bands.. but with BIG stones.. I think she was saying about the same size as her sidestones.. I think SHE is a little greedy.. but she is reasonable and says she will take them one at a time..

I am tempted to do what someone said and get the matching w-band for my e-ring AND an eternity band.. Although.. I don''t think I would ever wear just my band without my e-ring. I don''t really do any like outdoorsy stuff or manual labor.. I waitress now with my e-ring and it doesn''t get in the way.. other than its sparkliness distracting me. The only time I might want something other than the eternity band is for sizing reasons.. if I get fat or preggo or something..

Tybee - I WANT TO SEE MORE PICS OF YOUR RING.. I only saw that camera phone one, right?

 

[appletini]

Wow this has been a very active weekend on the LIW thread. Once again I''m not able to keep up. So I''ll give my recap.

My best friend from college was staying with me this weekend so of course we went shopping (we usually get a little carried away). Well popped into BB&B so that I could see the Ritani that everyone is always posting on here, and show it to her. Well they also had the Vera Wang collection...stunning! Well the nicest sales lady was helping was us, we stayed there for over an hour. I tried on a vera wang that I really liked and a tacori (click for pic) just like it (but the tacori is set a lot higher so I don''t like it as much). Ideally I''d like a combo of this and the Ritani, so in order to get all the pave the way I want it, I think we will be going to the custom route (plus the vera wang setting isn''t sold without the diamond). The pave crown around the center stone made it look so much bigger from farther away. Anyway the lady so nice to spend so much time with us and answer questions. So I let her know that when my BF gets back in two weeks we''d be coming in to see her.

And girls get excited the Bachelorette starts tomorrow!

 

[rfath]

Tybee... I''ve never seen an eternity band so thin and delicate! Very neat (and looking forward to seeing the pics of your engagement ring!). I''m still looking for something as a wedding band with my e-ring... it''s hard since mine has a round shank that''s only 2.5mm thick - to fit flush, the wedding band has to be 2.5mm tall or less. I wouldn''t normally mind a gap, but it makes the ring sit crooked on my finger and that drives obsessive me *insane*.

I''m still hiding my bridal magazines, especially now that I''ve got a dress. Fiance and housemate don''t understand WHY I''d still be looking at them and heckle me horribly. Luckily my florist scans interesting things and emails them to me (I love this woman! She''s SO COOL and is helping me plan the whole theme to the wedding). I felt just like I was buying **** when I went in to buy them the first time - fiance ran to another section of the store

It''s not really Monday tomorrow, is it?

 

[MelissaSue]

apple - did you see that a girl just posted her tacori just like that? Its one of the posts from like today or yesterday.. don''t remember the name of her thread but her sn is something like brdwingirl or something.. ITS GORGEOUS!

 

[appletini]

MS...yes I did see her tacori post yesterday and I thought it was so funny, b/c I had seen the ring for the first time that day. I love how the pave crown makes the stone looks huge...and it looked really big on her fingers (but her ring size is also much smaller than mine). I''m hoping that the BF will like it too!

 

[heartsonfire]

Sorry to bore you with this, but I just have to let it out!

I got into a fight with my boyfriend...
it started off because I got upset talking to my mom online. Well I mentioned that I received an email from my sister telling me that my brother is planning to propose to his gf. However he would wait until I get engaged first. This might sound silly to a lot of you... and this issue was very silly to my bf. (Ally just like you I am asian too... well my mom is asian and dad is european). But in asian tradition... the oldest child should actually get married first. As if this is not pressure enough from me, my sister who is 22 got married last year in June... well is waiting for me to get married too... coz she wants to get pregnant... hey what am I superwoman... who has to get engaged/married/pregnant ASAP. Give me a break. Anyhow I just mentioned to my mother that my sister informed me of my brothers'' intentions. To my surprise she was not aware that he is actually ready to ask his gf for her hand. And just to let you all know... my mom purchased an e-ring (heart shaped diamond in platinum) and w-ring (eternity platinum) for his future wife already (lucky him! mom has great taste) and showed it to my bro on Christmas... telling him when ever he is ready to pop the Q he should just go to mom and ask for it. I also mentioned to my mom that pressure would be lifted off my shoulder if my brother goes on with his intentions without waiting for me. For sure my mom took it wrong.

There is more... and I also mentioned another issue...I got upset at my bf for telling me he will never visit my country because he is too scared to travel caused by terrorist that''s crap (it can be dangerous anywhere). I was born and raised there... all I wanted is to take him home to show him my family and where I was brought up. I felt so hurt and neglected. A feeling as if he doesn''t accept where I am from. Yes, most of the things you hear of Asia is that it''s 3rd world... poor... dirty... etc. But not to sound snobbish I was raised in a very good community and great education (I speak 4 languages). I can''t thank my parents enough for the way they raised us. I''m telling you this story because I didn''t know that my mom got offended when I mentioned this to her a couple of months ago, because she noticed something was wrong. Anyhow the reason how I found out that my parents where upset... was through my sis'' email. So this topic came back up between my bf and I. The reason I wanted him to come with me to visit my family over seas is because they all want to meet him (well he did meet my mom, dad and sis very briefly) and should the day come I wanted him to ask my parents in person. But his excuse is that he is too busy running his business. I understand that but I just wish he would show me some consideration. He did say maybe some day but I know that day will never come and all I hear for now is NO. Not that I am stressed enough, my mom tells me that I am holding on to him. She thinks I am unhappy with my bf and I just can''t let go. Which is not true, I am a very independant woman but honestly sometimes there are just some ups and downs in our relationship. Now I''m asking myself if it was a mistake telling my mom my problems... I should have just suck it in.

As if all this is not enough... there is so much tension between us in regards to the e-ring. Well I left Europe and my job to be back with him. Hoping it will happen soon. But time is running and I have to leave again because I''m only visiting (the reason I am here is because we wanted to know if we could live together and we can... however I feel I''m being dragged for nothing). We do talk about the future of getting engaged and married. But it seems to be forever. All I want is to be with him. However it feels that there is no hope and I just want to give up and move on. I''m so confused and hurt. Before I forget, last night we spoke... I told him that I don''t want to pressure him and I know that he is busy with his work and I don''t want to be a distraction... he said that was not the point, that I come first but his job is very important to him and that he just needs time without anyone telling him when to propose (we''ve been talking about being together for over a year now)... bla bla bla... then he comes with... if you wouldn''t have fought with me and pressured this much I might have asked you already and you would have the ring by now. WHAT?!?! I felt like exploding... I got so angry... I wish I could cry to let it out. I feel so lost. I cannot stay here I''m a European citizen... I cannot go back home to my family in Asia (it would be too weird to live with them again... I''ve been away and travelled for 10 years)... I was thinking of going back to Europe... and move on. I know he loves me and I do love him but there are too many complications. Maybe the timing is wrong or maybe I am making it complicated. I sound like a fool. Sorry for venting. I just needed to share it since there is no one who I can or want to talk to in person. At least this way I still feel anonymous. Thank you for listening!
PS: Love reading all your postings... love the pics and the rings... you light up my day even when I''m down. Ally big hugs to you - stay strong.

 

[heartsonfire]

and by now I really don''t care anymore if he will ask me and I really don''t care about getting the e-ring... last night after he told me that I could have had the ring by now... all I told him was... I don''t need the ring from you... I will create my own one day... and I will have it forever... without anyone taking it away from me.

sorry I''m mean... but that hurt!

 

[gingerBcookie]

lauren - i looove the way that sapphire looks in your rhr....that blue is AMAZING!

lovey - i am so frickin'' excited to see your leon mege!!! do you think your bf is the type to draw out the proposal process to torutre you with a surprise, or do you think he''ll be reasonable and be pretty quick with the proposal once the ring is in his possession?

katrina - i am LOVING that ring you posted! i love the way split shanks look, but am worried about wedding band issues since i''m very traditional in wanting to wear both rings on my left ring finger. that being said....RHR anyone?

alley - hugs! i\m glad you guys got a chance to talk. , when we broke up, it was the only time i''d ever seen my bf cry too, and it broke my heart even more, if that was even possible. i hated the thought of hurting him, but knew that i had to stay strong and do what i knew needed to be done because if i gave in at that point, nothing would have changed and we would have ended up right back where we started. i agree with icekid...really take this time for yourself to evaluate what YOU want and need.

gg - that 52 weeks thing sounds like fun! i think it''s so cute that he actually did it too! heehee..i think i''m gonna go and check out your link.

BoL - its so great to hear you sounding so centered and strong. Oh and your waiter sounds yummy!! IMO, latin guys son muy caliente! of course I''m biased since I''m with one myself

heehee....have fun with your brazilian hottie!

apple - which bb&b did you go to? did you know that the different branches carry different rings? the one in the galleria had the tacori i liked, but the one on post oak didn''t. i didn''t see your tacori in either store, nor in zadok''s either.

to those who have chosen their settings: how many times did you try on your ring before you knew it was THE ONE? I think i know which one is the one, but I keep getting distracted by other gorgeous rings so i keep wanting to go aback and try on the ring ring again just make sure it is THE one? And i''m starting to feel bad because i always feel guilty going in to the jewelry store and leaving the salesperson hanging....unless of course they treat me like crap (which happens rather frequently sice my bf and i are both young looking and minorities, which = not much money in many salespeople''s minds) i can''t even count how many times we walk in and are ignored, or are given the most unknowledgable, incompetent, or inexperienced salesperson in the store while they immediately gush over the older looking WASP couple that walks in behind us.

oh wow...i totally went off the subject huh? sorry, can ya tell its a bit of a sore spot? usually when ithat happens i get pissed and refuse to let that person/store get my money. i''ve gotten so pissed that sometimes i just wanna bust out and shove in their face that he''s and engineer and i will be a doctor in a year, we are buying a ring for that point in our life, hence a very nice commission that they just lost out on, rub that in their face as well as the fact that in the very near future we will have more money than their puny, bigoted, little minds can comprehend (likely not true but usually i''m not thinking too clearly by this point

). thankfully thus far i have been able to hold in these childish notions and simply barrel through with the incompetent idiot they saddle us with, do what i need to do, and then leave and taking with me the knowledge that they just lost out on a $7-8,000 sell, since we plan to most likely buy the setting and band at the same time. not as satisfying, but i think a little more dignified.

 

[MelissaSue]

ohhh.. heartsonfire.. your situation sounds so complicated! There are so many pressures on you and your boyfriend.. the family thing, the pressure for you to get married first, the different countries.. that it must be extremely stressful. I think the best thing to do is to just talk to him about it. He must understand that you need to get married soon, if you are going to. So.. i say.. just ask him.. "Are we going to get married?" and if the answer is yes.. then tell him (try not to get upset or anything.. just explain to him) all of the many reasons why it can''t wait forever!
I definitely think your fighting is more a symptom of outside pressure and stress than it is a problem in your relationship.

BIG HUGS!

 

[gingerBcookie]

heartsonfire - oh sweetie! i''m so sorry to hear that! i''m asian too and i''m also dating a non-asian and i know how important it is for your significant other to understand your culture and how important meeting the family is. i don''t want to sound harsh, but your guy sounds lkike he is being very insensitive to what is very important to you. i''m sorry, but to me, my family and my culture is very important to me and any guy who wants to marry me needs to understand that, respect that, and make a very VERY ACTIVE effort to be a part of that (includes learning to eat the food, the correct manner of greeting, learning as much of the language as possible, participating in our traditional ceremonies, etc...). Anything less a 200% effort (doesn''t have to be perfect, but has to be understanding and continues to TRY) is unacceptable and is an insult to me, my family, and my culture. I am willing to the same thing for him and his culture. To me this is not even a question point since a marraige means a melding of our families, he has to be able to fit into mine as best as possible, and i have to fit into his as best as possible. It is a matter of RESPECT and LOVE. Now i''m not sure exactly how the situation is in your relation ship, but I hope that the inconsiderate manner in which he is treating this VERY IMPORTANT issue is not a reflection of how he treats you in general. I am probably being overly sensitive because I am very aware of the stereotype of asian women and i HATE HATE HATE the thought of guys dating us with that submissive wife in mind, the kind who will give up everything in her life to cater to him and his way of life.

Therefore it sends off HUGE red blaring alarms when i hear of a guy doing/saying those kind of things to his asian gf. sounds like you are a strong independant, well eduacted female and you deserve better than that, and I know for a fact that there are guys (my honey for example) out there who will do everything i listed above and more because they truly do care and respect the fact that there are other cultures and ways of living out there, and if nothing else he loves you and wants you to be happy so he will understand thatit is important to you and TRIES. sorry if i''m soap boxing on your topic but it really burns me up

!!!!!!!!!!

GRRRR!!! I can''t believe he isn''t even going to try!

i can''t believe he is black mailing you with the ring!

i can''t believe he threw the whole you-would-have-the-ring-already-if-you hadn-t nagged BULL$HIT. no, you did not make a mistake by telling your mom. it is understandalbe she would be upset. you SHOULD NOT NOT NOT have to "suck it in." grant it you guys were having a fight and in the midst of high flying emotions, people say things they don''t really mean, but that wasa serously LOW BLOW. grrrr!!! i am so angry for you i can''t even begin to express it!

hmmm...i think i''m am feeling too biased on this topic to give you cool headed advice...all i wanna say is TRASH that A$$HOLE of BA$TARD and find someone who appreciates ALL of you , including your culture and strong family ties. BUT i''m too emotional (note the over use of the angryfire emoticon) and so it is not level headed advice and so i will not say it

.

 

[gingerBcookie]

hearts onfire - i feel bad. seriously, i want to emphasize my over sensitiveness (not a real word I know) and overly emotional response on this topic (my best friend and a few other of my friends went through similar situations) and emphasize that I don't know what your true reltionship is like and would never presume i know enough to give you advice on it. i was just very TICKED off based on what you wrote, because I can understand where you come from. truly, what I want to give is just a BIG HUG and i hope you work everything out in a manner that works best for you.

p.s. edited to add..i would agree on the fighting more of a symptom of outside stress and pressure (your siblings push so they can get married/pregnant) except for his reluctance to visit your family. that is the point that makes me wary about deeper issues. just my opinion.

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

LOVEY: THANKS FOR LETTING ME PLAY IN YA''LLS SANDBOX!! I FEEL SELFISH SHARING MY PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE THAT WOULD WANT TO GET A RING AND SUCH AND I HAVE THAT BUT NOT SURE IF I WANT IT. I JUST THINK I''D FEEL TRAPPED AND CONTROLLED IF I GOT MARRIED. TO ME MARRIAGE=CONTROL.

KATRINA: HE PROPOSED A YEAR AGO AFTER A YEAR OF DATING. I DIDN''T WEAR THE RING FOR A LONG TIME AFTER. THEN THOUGHT WHAT THE HECK, IT''S DIAMONDS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I HAD WORN MY PROMISE RING FOR 6 MONTHES AND THAT DIDN''T BOTHER ME IT''S THE WHOLE ENGAGEMENT THING THAT GOT TO ME. HE PROPOSED IN AN ARCADE(HE ALWAYS WINS ME STUFFED ANIMALS) AND HAD THE RING HANGING OFF THE ANIMALS NOSE. I PUT IT ON FOR THAT NIGHT THEN DIDN''T WEAR IT FOR SEVERAL MONTHS UNTIL HE FINALLY INSISTED I WEAR IT(CONTROL!!) AND.... IT IS BIG AND SPARKELY... NOW THE WHOLE MARRIAGE THING KEEPS COMING UP AND I FEEL LIKE JULIA ROBERTS IN RUNAWAY BRIDE.

LAUREN: I LOOOOOVVVVVEEE YOUR RING. YOU DID GOOD !

I ALSO CAVED IN A BRIEF MOMENT OF PMS(PRE-MARRITAL SYNDROME) AND BOUGHT IN-STYLE WEDDINGS. LOVE THE PRINCESS CUT RING ON THE BACK COVER. JUST HOPE FH DON''T SPOT THE MAG AND GET IDEAS. HE HAS MENTIONED A SUPRISE WEDDING BEFORE. I TOLD HIM UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD HE EVER DO THAT. I''D PISS MY PANTS AND RUN AWAY!!