length of reception - please help?

[areagirlsbestfriend]

I found a gorgeous venue that is having a great offer pp .. however, it''s a four hour reception (based on premium bar) and they won''t allow me to break up the bar (one hour for cocktail, hold it during dinner hour, reopen for rest of reception) to lengthen the reception time. They do charge an additional fee per person if you choose to extend for an additional hour. It''s not THAT much (roughly an extra 8.50 a person) but it will jack our final expense about a thousand dollars, possibly more depending on our final head count (we''re thinking between 125-150, I did all calculations on the 125). The final cost per head is still a reasonable price (with extra hour), and still way below the average price pp around here, especially with everything we''re getting.

so my question is, what are everyone''s thoughts on reception length? I feel as if an hour for cocktail hour, and then three hours for the actual reception is not long enough ... especially considering it would be a sit down dinner and that would eat up a chunk of the three hours. Adding the extra hour wouldn''t completely throw off the budget, but the first number looked a hell of a lot better than the new calculation.

i was so excited to finally find something somewhat affordable for the area (northern NJ), and I feel like I''ve looked EVERYWHERE and this was the best for the cost. But of course, I''m still wondering if I could do better elsewhere.

 

[karasue91]

Well Martha says that a reception should last no more than 5 hours (#31). Mine is lasting about 7, hahaha, but I would have loved to start the ceremony later and make it more of a sunset type thing. Will it be more of a later-evening affair? I think you should definitely add on the extra hour if it''s in your budget but then don''t worry about it. You can always have an after-party at a nice bar or something, that would be fun!

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/50-tips-for-the-perfect-reception?lnc=8b99cf380e1dd010VgnVCM1000005b09a00aRCRD&page=4&rsc=articlecontent_weddings

 

[mjso]

Yay! Another NJ wedding.

Are you getting married at the same venue that you are having the reception? Or are you going to have people traveling to be there?

Is it possible to have the extra hour without the open bar? At the end of the night just have coffee/tea/etc?

It also depends on your guests, are they going to be mostly somewhat older (family, etc) and maybe not wanting to dance the night away? or a lot of young party ''til sunrise types?

I would lean towards adding on the extra hour, because you are right, the seated dinner will take up a chunk of time. In addition to any other tradition type stuff (garter toss, father-daughter dance, etc) so you might end up having to shut the party down just as it is picking up.

My venue is on the beach in NJ, it comes with a 5 hour open bar...one hour for cocktail hour, then they schedule 1 hour for the seated dinner and three hours for the reception afterwords. Our ceremony is on site as well, and they have an hour scheduled for that as well, but there won''t be beverages, etc. And I''m allowed to get there an hour early to use the bridal suite to get ready. So basically we have the place from 5pm - midnight.

 

[BriBee]

When my friend got married she had the ceremony start at 5pm (but it started late of course) and then we had to be out of the reception area by 10pm. Not to mention the fact that we had to drive about 10-15 minutes from church to reception. By the time the wedding party (which I was in) got done taking pictures and all that stuff, it was almost 7pm! I felt like the whole reception was rushed, they cut the special dances short like only a minute or 90 seconds for father/daughter. First dance was half the time it should have been etc... and when people were giving toasts, they cut those off because of time. I just thought the whole thing was pretty disappointing and I would never want my wedding to be like that. So I would say go for the extra time if you can afford it, it''ll be well worth it.

 

[areagirlsbestfriend]

wow this list is great, thanks! i always made fun of my mom for loving old Martha, but she''s got some great ideas.

I think if I could, I''d have an all-weekend reception! I just remembering leaving the most recent wedding I went to and thinking "WOW that was short!" (it was a five hour reception, total, with the cocktail hour) - of course it was because we had so much fun. The cost saved would be significant though .. I just think of where else I could put that 1K (namely, my dress or attendants gifts).

Oh decisions.

 

[areagirlsbestfriend]

yeah, you''re all right. that extra hour is really needed. Now I know why the promotion seemed like SUCH a great deal .. but even with the added hour, the price per head wouldn''t be astronomical, in comparison to other sites in the area. and it''s a sit down dinner (three courses), full open bar, cocktail hour, and cake included.

I guess I really need to work on this guest list, then!!!!

we would probably be having the ceremony at a church, 20-25 minutes from the reception site. I was thinking of having the ceremony around 3:30 or 4, and having the cocktail hour start at 6. It will be a friday, as well ... any etiquette for that??

mjso - where are you getting married? a girlfriend of mine is getting engaged soon and has been DREAMING of a beach-type wedding forever. Are you doing the ceremony on the beach?

 

[violet02]

We''re having our ceremony at 2:30pm since we have to have the music turned off by 9pm. Even though it''s a private residence there''s a noise ordinance in that neighborhood. So we''re just starting earlier. Also even when the music has to be turned ''down'' or off. We''ll be having an after-party with friends at the house after the older folks have gone back to their hotels.

 

[tberube]

Mine is lasting 5 hours, and that doesn''t count the cocktail hour. I think that''s about right, much shorter than that will leave no time for the dancing and letting loose part - the real fun part, IMHO. That stinks that they are so strict on reception length.

 

[zoebartlett]

I agree, it kind of stinks that they''re being so strict on the length if it bothers you. We''re getting married at 11:00AM with the cocktail hour and reception immediately following the ceremony. We need to have the reception end by 4:30 so the restuarant can set up for their normal dinner crowd. It''s not that long of a reception but it works out well for us -- neither one of us are big dancers.

 

[mjso]

Date: 2/15/2008 12:51:53 PM
Author: areagirlsbestfriend


mjso - where are you getting married? a girlfriend of mine is getting engaged soon and has been DREAMING of a beach-type wedding forever. Are you doing the ceremony on the beach?

The ceremony is on the beach, and then the reception site is right there. It''s called Merrimakers'' Water''s Edge. They have some mixed reviews online from a long time ago, but everyone I''ve spoken to recently has raved about it. A family friend''s daughter got married there last June and they loved it. The price is actually fairly reasonable too, depending on when you have it. It is in Sea Bright, which is pretty far north, if it is clear you can actually see the NYC sky line. It is the same catering company that does the PNC Arts Center.

There are a TON of places to get married on the beach down in Cape May, LBI and Atlantic City, but I wanted to stay in Monmouth County. It does book up fast though, we originally wanted an April date in 2009 and when my parents went to book it in mid January they had like 1 friday night (good friday) and two sunday day times available. So we ended up in May, also because they don''t do the ceremonies on the beach until May.