Marry?

[oddoneout]

Just a question out of curiosity. How many women out there love jewelry and perhaps even like gifts (especially diamonds....haha) from their significant others (or buy some for themselves) but do not want to get married? Also what are the reasons that you do not want to get married?

 

[oddoneout]

Date: 3/22/2008 8:44:58 PM
Author:oddoneout
Just a question out of curiosity. How many women out there love jewelry and perhaps even like gifts (especially diamonds....haha) from their significant others (or buy some for themselves) but do not want to get married? Also what are the reasons that you do not want to get married?

What I mean is do some women just prefer to get gifts for themselves or from others without being married (or even getting married)?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Hmm, I don''t think I understand the question...are you asking if women like getting jewelry from their siginificant others, not necessarily their husbands? I''d assume that most women like getting jewelry from their boyfriends.

Or maybe you''re asking if women prefer to buy themselves jewelry as opposed to their boyfriends or husbands buying it for us? If that''s what you''re asking then I''d say that PSers are a bit unique in that many of us happily buy our own jewelry. If I could have bought my own engagement ring, I probably would have. And of the three wedding bands I have, I bought two of them. Our husbands know better than to just go out and get us jewelry, haha.

 

[erica k]

I''m confused, too..

Marriage is definitely not a prerequisite for buying, receiving, or wearing jewelry (especially diamonds), although most might not feel comfortable wearing a diamond solitaire on their left ring finger if they''re not married....

I don''t think marriage is for everyone, but I certainly do love the jewelry that I received from my husband and my parents. I bought my own eternity band and am saving for my e-ring upgrade. If we hadn''t married, I would have probably bought something sparkly for my right hand anyway. My husband isn''t a fan of jewelry or gift-giving, so I usually take the initiative and buy myself nice things.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

If I was single, I wouldn''t have the money to buy much jewelry since I am a teacher. But my husband is fine with me buying jewelry or picking it out for him to buy. All the money belongs to both of us. I just don''t let him pick it out!

I don''t think love of jewelry and whether you are married or not has anything to do with the other!

 

[oddoneout]

I asked the questions (rather badly) because I wondered if women felt they could buy something significant for themselves or have a significant other buy something for them but without the question of marriage coming into it. I''ll explain. Say a woman wants to get a diamond ring but does not want to get married. The man may worry that the diamond ring means that they are engaged while the woman may think it''s just a gesture of their relationship lasting forever (without marriage). Just stirring the pot.

 

[Pandora II]

I think that would depend on the level of communication and desires of the couple.

For example, if the jewellery in question was a diamond solitare that looked very e-ring, but the couple had firmly decided on both sides that marriage was not something they wanted then I can't see a problem.

The problem arises if the woman secretly wants marriage and the man does not and so sees it as an attempt to move towards marriage.

My FI absolutely definitely did not want to get married - and still doesn't want to because he thinks it's an outdated institution that is purely about protecting a woman.

I wanted to get married as I see it as a declaration of serious commitment to one person forever, I want my children born in wedlock, I want to be protected if he was to die and I want the legal security.

We are getting married as he knows that it will make me happy. Sounds unromantic, but the emotional side holds true for him, it's the legal side he doesn't like.

I would never have asked for an e-ring type piece of jewellery, because it was a sensitive topic for us. I also wouldn't have bought an e-ring type ring as I would have felt I was compromising my needs.

I tend to buy my own jewellery now, but he pays for some of them!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I agree with the above.

I am not married but have recently started buying jewerly myself. A few years back, I was unconfortable getting nice jewelry unless it was a gift, either from my family or a SO. That changed when I ended a three year relationship. I realized I depended on him to make too many things I wanted happen. After I broke up with him, I kind of went on a little "girl power trip." I had just graduated an had a good income. I moved to a new state to start my job, bought my own condo (kind of regreting that now with the housing turn), and got two cats and made my life my own. It is kind of cornory, but I was thinking, maybe if I took some of the material elements out of the relationship, I will find the person who is right for me. If I don''t find someone, than at least my life will start to be my own. A few months after I got settled, I decided I would take the plunge and start buying my own jewelry.

I started with a pair of diamond studs, my old ones from my mother were not that good quality, and they were stolden

. That is when I found this site. I did a ton of research and decided to buy some 2/3 tcw ACA from whiteflash. At this time, almost 2 years had gone by since my breakup, and I had a new boyfriend (we are still dating now). At first I was afried to tell him I wanted to buy my own jewelry, but when I did, he was really supportive (maybe he thought....I am off the hook). I got the earings, and I love them so much, and I am proud of myself for doing the research to find two nice quality diamonds. Now I am looking for a RHR. I am looking for a nice sapphire because blue is my favorate color and it is a stone I have wanted since high school.

I have been with my current BF for almost a year now. We talk about long term plans, but the marrage word has not come to the table yet. I am not pushing the issue, I know he eventually wants to get married, and the discussion will come up when we are both ready for it. He is still supportive of my "jewelry hobby" and has even taken me to Rodeo drive so that I can see what a nice sapphire looks like in person. I think every couple has their own confort level and their own idea of what traditions they want to follow, and what they want to deviate from. My aunt has been with my uncle for 20 years and they are not married, she recently got a diamond ring....she jokes it is the engagement that will never end.