Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Movin'' On

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Erin

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
2,783
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
 
If this is how you''re feeling starset, I''m sorry.
7.gif
Time heals all wounds, right? Which is ironic because sometimes you waste a lot of time waiting for something to happen to change where you think you''re going. Anyway, if you wrote that, it''s beautiful, and I can certainly remember how that felt a long time ago... Take care of yourself, missy.
1.gif
 
Thanks AW
It''s a Rascal Flats song
it may be an old song, I wouldn''t know - heard it on the radio this morning and cried a little on my way in to work
 
I''m sorry you''re feeling like this.

Sometimes music does the talking for you.
 
I''m sorry this is happening to you.
7.gif
You are a strong woman for holding on the your dreams and beliefs. Take care.
 
Last night we had ''it'' out again and I said maybe I should just leave
He mumbled all sorts of ''but that''s not what I want''

I said, tell me I''m the only one who can make you truly happy

He said, I want that to be true
I said, so did I
and I went to bed

that answer should have been ''you are''
 
Starset Princess: I''m really, really sorry you are feeling down. I don''t know what to tell you because I don''t think that anything anyone can say will be enough. You are a beautiful strong woman, (and I know because I''ve seen pictures and have followed you on your journey since the beginning). I feel like you and Blueroses deserve the whole world because you both have given so much to the relationship. I''m sending you positive thoughts, hope you two talk it out and you feel better.
 
Date: 10/17/2006 11:40:14 AM
Author: Starset Princess
Last night we had 'it' out again and I said maybe I should just leave
He mumbled all sorts of 'but that's not what I want'

I said, tell me I'm the only one who can make you truly happy

He said, I want that to be true
I said, so did I
and I went to bed

that answer should have been 'you are'
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry you are feeling blue, SP...but the part I highlighted is true. I would not stay if after years together the man I loved could not tell me I was the ONE for him.

What are you waiting for? You deserve someone who WILL say 'you are'. Best of luck sweetie, I know you are thinking about things. I just want to reinforce that you do deserve more than what is being given here. Do not spend another 5 or 10 years of your life waiting....
 
I have followed your story closely SP (although I always think of you by your given name ~ remembering your old screen name), and I was hoping things would come together eventually. But it seems that was not the case. I am so, so sorry for the outcome, but I want you to know I am sending you positive thoughts about your future. I know it is bright!

Be good to yourself....
 
SP- I wish there were thing we could say to you that would fix things, I haven''t followed your story but I understand a little of how you are feeling. I hope the best for you and hope your day brightens up.

**HUGS**
 
Thanks for all your kind words. It''s a good place to vent and a great place to find out if you''re justified or crazy. It''s just the right place to gain perspective, and always a safe place when things aren''t always kind. Thank you.
 
Everything I start to type sounds trite! Until I think of something smart, please know that my heart goes out to you! I''m wishing you strength & perspective & the knowledge gained from seeing people walk this path of grief only to find renewed hope & lasting, eager, mutual, healthy, passionate yet drama-free (or at least reduced-drama) LOVE.

Please keep posting & reaching out - we care about you!
 
Date: 10/17/2006 11:40:14 AM
Author: Starset Princess
Last night we had ''it'' out again and I said maybe I should just leave
He mumbled all sorts of ''but that''s not what I want''

I said, tell me I''m the only one who can make you truly happy

He said, I want that to be true
I said, so did I
and I went to bed

that answer should have been ''you are''
Click to expand...
Yes, it should have been. You deserve so much better SP... My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the brilliant future you deserve.
 
I don''t have anything new to add SP, but I am very sorry for your pain. You will find someone who will jump for joy at the very thought of you. Good luck and stay strong!
 
I''m so sorry you''re going through this hun. We''re all here for you.
 
i''m sorry to hear you''re going through this. i don''t really know your story too well since i''m relatively new, but maybe you can share it some other time if you need to vent. let us know how things are today, maybe when you went home you and your bf were able to talk more. it''s sad he wasn''t able to say more when you pressed him, but my bf is very poor with communicating feelings when put on the spot, so maybe that''s part of it. anyway, i don''t want to say too much b/c i don''t know the whole situation, but hope things are better today..
 
Thanks for all the hugs and well wishes!
35.gif


Last night was crazy! I told him how it bothered my that his answer wasn''t ''you are.'' He said, well, maybe he was being his usual over-analytical self in giving the honest answer wishing everything were perfect between us without any issues to argue over cause let''s face it, we have a few issues out there. I agreed. He continued, but no, I didn''t look at your question in the general overview you were looking at to base all opinions and actions. Yes, you are the one. I just wish we could get past all these feelings of resentment and arguements.

We never go out anymore, he doesn''t help out around the house (at all) like he used to, he''s always stressed and high strung and short tempered. He''s been drinking after he gets off work during the week some nights. It''s like I haven''t recognized him lately and I told him that.

He said it''s all since he took this new job. He loves the work but can''t stand the personality of the guy who runs the place (Napolean complex.) He constantly feels on edge around him, always defending his work, worried about keeping his job, bites his tongue in confrontation to keep the peace even though the guy should be told off. He works 60 hours a week in the office and over 20 more at home. He''s been a walking ulcer. He went on to say that lately he''s had his priorities out of whack. This job has consumed him. You know what he''s doing this morning? Quitting. Giving his respectful notices and walking out.

I''m floored. I can''t believe this talk has fueled this action. I mean, yeah, I guess a lot of it all has had everything to do with his job since June 05. It''s become increasingly worse every month since then. After he made that decision he started being affectionate (which I''ve missed lately) talking about all the things that will be different, how we''ll get back on track, how hopefully this will be the answer to some of our issues. You know what.....maybe it will
33.gif


Janinegirly

In a nutshell we just celebrated 5 years together - in our early thirties - no prior marriages or kids. Bought a ring in April 04. Haven''t been proposed to yet. Have been seriously planning a walk out myself.
 
starset, i''m glad you guys talked last night, that had to make things better.
i have a friend in a very similar situation except she is married with a child. her husband was just unbearable, carrying the stress from his job, being an absentee parent as a result. she finaly had it and told him they might need counseling. and in response, he quit! she was shocked, but figured, ok, that''s ONE way of dealing with this. So short term, things are great b/c the stress factor has been removed. But of course, he has to go back to work some day, and it might surface again. It''s his personality type to be an overachiever etc.
Anyway, I suppose in your case you can also look at this as a short term reprieve, so take advantage of it. A lot of time has passsed and these are issues usually dealt with in a marriage, so right now he really needs get in snyc and focus on you and get that priority straight before thinking about the next job step or anything else. Maybe tell him you need him to focus on the relationship and moving it forward in the next month. (he has the ring afterall!). And without the excuse of job, work stress, he has no distractions as excuses. A month is more than generous, and yes in the meantime think about an exit strategy. I hope I''m not saying too much...keep us posted and good luck. I feel for you, it''s been 3 yrs for me, and 5 would be really rough (also in 30''s, no prev marriages, kids,etc).
 
what you just said about last nite is interesting SP...what struck me out of all of that was 'so he can recognize when this job is doing him in and in one discussion make the decision to walk out, then actually follow through'.

i don't recall all details of your previous posts, but do you know WHY exactly he has not given you this ring from 2004 yet?

because it sounds like he has no problem being decisive and taking action when the time comes for it. so what's the deal with actually proposing to you if you are truly 'the one' for him..and in essence being decisive and taking action as well.
33.gif
 
I totally see what you''re saying Mara. I think he''s been insanely frustrated with this job for months and FINALLY did something about it so it wasn''t as ''one discussion'' as I made it sound. In 2004 I sort of pushed him into it buying the ring prematurely with my persuasion. Because of that, he vowed to hold on to it for a ''short while'' so that he could gain the, for lack of a better word, Upperhand to at least plan a surprising and thoughtful proposal. But the more time went on, the more I didn''t understand why he hadn''t just done it already and it became the big pink elephant standing in the room that no one wanted to acknowledge. This strained our relationship and he started this new career and just poured himself into it and we never really bounced back up from the harboring feelings.
 
Starset,

Did you ever discuss the pink elephant? (Or is that why they call it the pink elephant because no one talks about it??). What I mean is that did you ever ask him what the hold up was?

In any case, I think that job stress is the worst stress. And I think what shows a really supportive partner is when one of them says "I can''t stand my job" and the partner instead of saying "we have bills to pay", "keep the job", "it will get better" is supportive and willing to let the job go. It sounds as though he''s disliked his job for a while and hasn''t said anything. I feel that can happen when you convince yourself that it''s a great opportunity etc.

And I think this job thing could have possibly had an effect on the delay proposal. I would want it to be a happy time, without negetive feelings around. In any case, the first time my ex proposed it was when I was sitting at home crying my eyes out because I hadn''t gotten into med. And I remember thinking "this isn''t a good time" I mean I understood what he was trying to say, but there couldn''t be any happiness in it. In any case, I really hope this un blocks some stuff for you.
 
Wow, wow, wow. Lots going on, sistah!! I am so sorry that Sunday and Monday were such painful days (after painful and resentful months, I know!) but I am really glad that he is going to make this change--hopefully this will be the catalyst to kickstart a lot of other things that need to get in motion. I know how easy it is to get stuck, and just shaking one thing loose can be a start. EITHER way. I am going to update my thread, but I think there is something going on for us long-timers--wonder how the stars have been aligned this week. Hmmm.

Sending big hugs and good thoughts to you two and I hope this is the start of a happier new beginning, one way or the other....one step at a time! Life is short!

((((HUGS)))))
 
GOD it''s so good to hear that blue Matilda talking again
2.gif


Thanks sweetheart! Miss ya!
 
Ooo- how exciting! Mabye we will be having BOTH our top gals getting off the list soon?
Hmmmm - can''t wait for updates!!!!!!!

36.gif
36.gif
36.gif
 
Starset, I don''t really have anything insightful to say (I will leave that up to the others who do it so well!), but I wanted to offer one GIANT hug. Hang in there -- you deserve the best in life and I hope that you get it!
 
SP,

Hopefully things will start to get better for you after he quits this job. It''s amazing how much stress you bring home from work and how deeply it can affect your daily life away from the office. It''s scary to quit, but it sounds like it may be the best for the both of you in the longrun. Here''s to everything turning out wonderfully with a new start!
2.gif


Marisa
 
Wow SP I''m glad you two had a nice talk and straightened things out. Hopefully your guy will have the clarity he needs and no more excuses to get the ball rolling here. The hard part''s over...he already has the ring...so I''m hoping things move forward for you in a very positive way. Good luck!!!
 
SP, I really feel for you. I don''t have much to offer except this: Do not compromise on having your needs met.

If he can meet them, then he should. If he cannot meet them, then give someone else the opportunity to.

Life is really short, and it''s a shame to waste it waiting. You deserve more.

The biggest red flag to me: he''s had the ring for 2.5 years. It''s one thing to let "some" time elapse for the sake of surprise, but waiting over a year is beyond the surprise excuse window by a longshot. Job wasn''t an issue from 4/04 to 6/05.

Be clear in what you need to be happy, and put yourself first. No one else is going to if you don''t.
 
Starset - You definitely deserve more than he''s been giving you. I don''t know how I''d handle having the ring in his possession for so long, regardless of the reason. Perhaps when he starts a new job, he''ll have more time to devote to you that you deserve. Sometimes I think pouring yourself into a job is a good way of avoiding someone/issues though, I hope it does not happen again. I''m just basing that off of some relationships around me and probably most notably, my parents relationship. My dad was much more of a workaholic when he was married to my mom, but with his girlfriend he has no problem taking huge vacations and leaving work early and I guess he''s just totally different. I''m not saying that to make you feel bad, but just because I really do think that sometimes people pour themselves into their jobs to avoid other issues... Even if I sound really negative with that, I do hope that his job switch will help your relationship! You deserve someone who is going to love you and treat you well. Sending my best your way! I hope you keep us updated!
 
Hey sweet E,

I just wanted to let you know that you''re on my mind and I have to say I felt a pang of....I don''t know, something--guilt?, just discouragement I guess-- when I saw your thread yesterday because I think it''s crazy that both of us long-timers (who''ve been in SUCH similar circumstances) have reached these critical moments at the same time. I want so badly for things to brighten for you. You deserve it SO SO much. Sending you GIANT hugs and thoughtful moments and PEACE, my friend--you have been such a friend and support to me in our parallel journeys here on PS. You are a beautiful, wry, witty, funny, sensitive gal. Better things await, either together or alone, you just have to shake up the rut.

(((((HUGS))))))
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top