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Date: 4/25/2008 10:21:56 AM
Author: Smurfysmiles
so my parents are buying me new furniture and a new tv (im the youngest child and spoiled lol) bc they dont want me to have bad memories when i look at the stuff we had together which is really thoughtful. so ex so is getting the furniture we literally dug out of a trash dumpster lol.
also i have a guy friend who told me when im ready he''ll take me on a real date because my SO never treated me that great so that''ll be fun.
oh and im getting a plant.

i was gonna sell the old ring but its not really worth much, it was only 125 to start with
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I just saw this thread. I''m so sorry! If he wasn''t treating you the way you should be treated though, it sounds like it might have only been a matter of time before things ended. The friend you mentioned above sounds like a great guy and a very good friend to do something like this for you. That''s sweet.
 
Oh, Smurfy, I''m so sorry you''re hurting right now. I''m so sorry you have had to deal with all of this craziness. However, I''m SUPER proud of you for moving so quickly and taking the steps to heal yourself and move on with life. Good for you. You deserve all the love and respect in the world, and he just freed you up to find it.

P.S. Good for you for taking your stuff back, especially the shower head!
 
Hey Smurfy I just wanted to remind you that you''re a rock star!!

And cupcakes (one won''t hurt) and shoes make the world go round!!
 
Date: 4/26/2008 11:45:28 AM
Author: princesss
Oh, Smurfy, I''m so sorry you''re hurting right now. I''m so sorry you have had to deal with all of this craziness. However, I''m SUPER proud of you for moving so quickly and taking the steps to heal yourself and move on with life. Good for you. You deserve all the love and respect in the world, and he just freed you up to find it.

P.S. Good for you for taking your stuff back, especially the shower head!
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I just wanted to give a DITTO to the above post! There are so many times where women are where you were, and they stay and try to get the guy to change his mind and it seems like everyday they stay, their self esteem goes down another notch. But you missy? You are AWESOME. Seriously, I applaud your quickness to say "you dont love me, fine. find another shower head then, I''m gone!" You''re about to start a new phase in life and I think with your great attitude, you''re going to really shine now...Congrats and my admiration...
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Hee hee hee to Surfgirl!! I laughed out loud at this part: "you dont love me, fine. find another shower head then, I''m gone!"

But she''s right, I totally agree with her post-too many people do try to sit it out and get the guy to fall back in love with them, which totally ruins their self-esteem and I am so proud that you were strong enough to say, "Ok. I''m out of here! Have fun finding a new showerhead!"

I wish all women had the same cojones you do.

lol. I''m such a dork.
 
I agree with the others that this is NOT easy to do!! That''s why I don''t advise women to leave if they are still on the fence--you have to be 150% ready to leave because if you''re not committed to moving on with your life, it''s too easy to get sucked in.

Smurfy, I have no doubt that it''s going to hit him like a ton of bricks after you''re gone and he''s in his apartment. By himself. With no furniture. When I moved out I also took everything, even the dishes (I wasn''t trying to be vindictive, but everything was mine--I did get him some paper plates) and D told me that at that point it really hit him that I was gone for good. He reached out to me--called, emailed, etc. several times before he realized wasn''t going to respond and he was being selfish.

So be prepared for him to try to contact you when he realizes that you''re really gone--it might take a couple of weeks for him to go from feeling relieved to thinking "crap, she''s gone" but I''d bet my bottom dollar that at some point he''ll reach out to you because he''ll feel lonely or guilty or whatever. Don''t let it get to you--I think no contact is the ONLY way to move on from a situation like this. Good luck and again, we''re all here for you!
 
Smurfy, I agree with what everyone says about being 100% decisive etc. You''re a rockstar, don''t forget it.

Hope you''re out pampering yourself this weekend and going out with friends. Dunno where you are, but Chicago just turned chilly AGAIN. So if you''re somewhere warm... GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE WEATHER! (At least for some of us in chilly, not summer yet cities .)
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update!

so last night....on APRIL 25th, we get flippin 13 inches of snow!!!!! WTH
but it was ok, i went out with friends...even went to the nightclub the ex works at and it was fine
went to a party after and this guy i was good friends with in high school was like im really glad youre single because ive had a crush on you all through high school and college and ive been hoping and waiting you to break up with him and when you''re ready, if you want to, can i take you out
seriously how cute is that
and then 2 other guys asked me out! of course i said no but its nice to know that the smurfinator stilll has it!!!!!

ok thats all, my mom is making chicken wings to cure a hangover haha must go eat :) love you ladies!
 
Oh Smurfy you are such a rockstar!

Your friend from high school sounds like a winner - I''m glad he said "when you''re ready, if you want to." So nice of him to not ask you out for, like, tonight - especially since he''s been pining for you for so long!! Even if you don''t go out with him (or the other two guys, for that matter), I think this is a true sign that your life is destined for much better (and maybe bigger, hehe, I couldn''t resist) things!

It may sound cheesy, but I''m very proud of the way you''re handling yourself right now. I know the pain may hit you at times when you least expect it - but when it hits you just remember: you are a rockstar with three potential dates less than a week after a major breakup. You can have whatever you want from life, just go and get it!
 
Ohhh, smurfy, this all must suck a lot, but it''s awesome that you went out (in the crazy snow, no less... we got some here, but it''s half melted now, but COLD! Crazy midwest...) and had some fun and got asked out. I''m really proud of you for moving out so fast! I have a friend who''s been in a shitty holding-on kind of relationship for months, but she can''t bear to kick him out (he''s a loser; just stopped going to work when he didn''t like his job anymore). YOU GO GIRL!!!!
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Ok Smurfy, when you''re ready to pursue these dates, you know who to come to see about getting some new sexy heels to wear.

I''ll be waiting...
 
Smurfy, I have just seen this thread (been away from the computer for the past couple of days.) Well, I wanted to say, as many others have, that it takes a strong willed woman to take this chance to start over. Your parents seem to be very supportive in this endeavour as well, which I think is just wonderful. Be greatful that this all panned out this way, before it got any more complicated. There will be days that it''s hard, but you are better off. And if you are feelin'' low, there are four pages of postings that show we are here for you. Here''s to finding someone that will treat you as special as you are - which it sounds like the Smurfinator won''t have a problem with this!

And I love that you took the shower head!
 
Smurfy, I just saw this and wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU! You deserve way more than you were getting. Good luck and make sure to stay around and keep us updated!
 
Go Smurfy! Go Smurfy! Go Smurfy!!

I''m glad to hear you went out and had a good time-- and lots of admirers, too! Hang in there girl! You rock!! I''m so proud of you for holding your head high
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Honestly, it sounds like you are handling things extremely well! Good for you for being so strong.

Big ditto to what NewEnglandLady said. In my experience, exes ALWAYS come crawling back in some way, shape, or form eventually. I don''t know if it''s because men just don''t know how to cope with loneliness, or they are looking for a hookup, etc... but be prepared for that and be strong! If possible I''d recommend no-contact indefinitely. It seems harder, but it actually makes things easier overall.

And even if you don''t want to take up those offers, it''s nice to realize there are other guys out there AND that they want you!
 
SMURF! I have been gone for a week (vacation) and this morning, back at my office (I was dying to say hello to everyone) I logged in and coudn't believe what I read! Let me just say, I was mad (and sad!), initially, when I read your first posts about the break up. However, after reading the rest, I am convinced that you're going to do great. Intelligent, funny, and most of all, HOT, chicks don't need boring ex-boyfriend baggage spoiling the effect.

Enjoy the freedom of having your own place and your own new stuff...and try, with all your might, to remember the reasons why you and he are not good together, the rest will fall into place.

Sending lots of love & hugs your way.

ps--chill w/ the ice cream
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Woo hoo!!! Smurfy''s smokin'' weekend sounds awesome!! I''m totally happy for you. Sounds like things are going to be okay. Sucks with the snow. I think I can speak for all of us unfortunate girls in cold weather, "WTF! Freaking ENOUGH with the snow already!!!!!" :) Back to point, I''m glad you had an awesome weekend! :)
 
Good for you Smurfy...I''m glad you went out and did your thing. Others would have stayed home and been sad and depressed and......but no not you!

You''re awesome!! You will find someone who''s going to be so wonderful to you, and you will say to yourself "what the h@#$ was I thinking". He did you a favor

and a big favor. You will find Mr. Right and not Mr. I''ve got no showerhead or furniture!

You''ve obviously started your weekend off right and there''s more to come!

Treat yourself to some kick a## heels and don''t forget the handbag!
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i found out this morning that i got the new apartment, its approved and ready for me to move in TODAY!!!!
also i have a second interview for a second job so i can buy myself all sorts of nice things
maybe even a second showerhead so i can alternate...i mean why the hell now right

anyways, thats my update :)
 
I think you should convert the old showerhead into a garden hose device. Or maybe a cool found object fountain?!?
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I probably would have taken a bat to the furniture or bleach...or something equally destructive without burning the house down. So kudos to you for keeping your cool and not attempting to run him over with your car--or paying someone to do it for you.
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I am evil. God.
 
Smurfy - you go girl! Well done to you! Loving the shower head move, nothing like a bit of revenge for the dirtbags in the world!!

Speaking of revenge, my sister just left her (equally dirtbaggy) fiance, who had no job and took total and financial advantage of her. She disconnected his mobile (in her name) and just waited..... She got a call from him a few hours later and he's complaining the he doesn't know what happened to his phone, but it doesn't work (like, why are you calling you ex about it?!). Well, my sister just turns around and says:

Well, (insert dirtbag name) F*CK ME, did you think to pay the bill? And he says "I didn't know there was a bill" (WTF!!!!). She just says of course there is a frigin bill, you should think about paying it and hangs up!!

Hysterical - I would love too see the look on his face when he rings up Telstra and is told that she had the phone disconnected only a few hours earlier.

Sometimes you just have to do things that make you smile! I'm really proud of you for handling this whole situation Smurfy - you truly are a strong positive woman, and sounds like there are lots of guys who think you are great too! Stay strong!!
 
How''s that new apartment looking Smurfy?
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Big applause to you for handling this so bravely
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Date: 4/26/2008 7:53:08 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
update!


so last night....on APRIL 25th, we get flippin 13 inches of snow!!!!! WTH

but it was ok, i went out with friends...even went to the nightclub the ex works at and it was fine

went to a party after and this guy i was good friends with in high school was like im really glad youre single because ive had a crush on you all through high school and college and ive been hoping and waiting you to break up with him and when you''re ready, if you want to, can i take you out

seriously how cute is that

and then 2 other guys asked me out! of course i said no but its nice to know that the smurfinator stilll has it!!!!!


ok thats all, my mom is making chicken wings to cure a hangover haha must go eat :) love you ladies!
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haha - chicken wings are the BEST for a hangover!

I just wanted to say that your story is really emotional AND really empowering. It''s great to see how much support you have here. Soldier on, girl!
 
Smurfy you''ve been on my mind. How''s it hanging?
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