no rehearsal?

[Asscherhalo_lover]

my wedding date is june 15 so i''m starting to get down to the nitty gritty with planning. i contacted my wedding location a few days ago to inquire about possible rehearsal times and.....they don''t allow rehearsals!!! i booked the location well over a year ago and the rehearsal was not on my mind when i did! now, i can live without it, the on-site coordinator will tell us who goes when and shuffle us all down the aisle, the problem involves my FMIL.

She was actually excited about throwing us a rehearsal dinner at one of our favorite italian restaurants and now we are not having a rehearsal. the big question on my mind is if anyone else has been in a similar situation. if so, did you find another location to rehearse, did you just have a dinner anyway, or did you scrap the whole idea?

 

[enbcfsobe]

no problem. the rehearsal doesn''t have to be in the actual ceremony space unless there is something really funky about it (we''re doing a rehearsal b/c we''re in a round room with multiple entrances and low lighting and no real place for an "aisle"). we''ve been at rehearsals that were held in the rehearsal dinner space -- the bride just went over who had to be where, when, and did a mini-walkthrough for everyone. its really not that big a deal and there''s nothing wrong with a rehearsal dinner even without a rehearsal. lots of folks invite people to the rehearsal dinner that weren''t part of the rehearsal anyway, so who needs the rehearsal unless there''s really something to rehearse? i do think it is a good idea to go over logistics and maybe even do a little ''itinerary'' edition of the program so everyone is clear on where they need to be. you can go over this with the site coordinator and then communicate the info to your wedding party/parents/FILs, etc.

 

[neatfreak]

We didn''t really have a formal rehearsal, but we sure did have a rehearsal diner! And had a blast too. No one thought it was weird at all.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

thanks for the calming assurances! we are the first traditional wedding in both of our families in about 15 years and neither of us have ever been to a wedding or a rehearsal dinner. i wasn''t sure how much it had to stick to tradition or not. i think we''ll probably go the route of running through the order and whatnot at the dinner and let that be the end of the actual rehearsal.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 2/19/2008 9:49:53 AM
Author:Asscherhalo_lover
my wedding date is june 15 so i''m starting to get down to the nitty gritty with planning. i contacted my wedding location a few days ago to inquire about possible rehearsal times and.....they don''t allow rehearsals!!! i booked the location well over a year ago and the rehearsal was not on my mind when i did! now, i can live without it, the on-site coordinator will tell us who goes when and shuffle us all down the aisle, the problem involves my FMIL.

She was actually excited about throwing us a rehearsal dinner at one of our favorite italian restaurants and now we are not having a rehearsal. the big question on my mind is if anyone else has been in a similar situation. if so, did you find another location to rehearse, did you just have a dinner anyway, or did you scrap the whole idea?

We aren''t having a rehearsal dinner or a rehearsal. We don''t have any attendants, so there''s no need to rehearse. We will just go over our vows with the officiant. One less expense!

 

[enbcfsobe]

i wouldn''t worry too much about ''traditions'' for the rehearsal and dinner - i''m pretty sure they''re fairly new inventions anyway. we''re doing the rehearsal but doing a very informal rehearsal dinner at an upscale bowling alley (oxymoron, right?) so folks can be casual and actually get to mingle. the wedding will be rather formal, so i don''t see the need to do 2 fancy parties. just pick what you and FMIL are comfortable with and will get things sufficiently prepped for the big day, and don''t worry about it!

 

[gwendolyn]

I was the MOH at a Jewish wedding last May and we just had the rehearsal dinner, no actual rehearsal. I felt slightly apprehensive because I had a lot of stuff to do during the ceremony, but it was all fine. No worries!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

to not worry is exactly what the site coordinator said, i think i''ll be ok. i guess the only reason i got worried is because my FMIL thought we couldn''t have a dinner because we didn''t have an actual rehearsal, but now that i know it''s not uncommon, i''m not to worried anymore.

if we didn''t have a bridal party, i wouldn''t be worried at all, but we have 6 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen (including honor attendants), 2 ring bearers and 2 flower girls! oh well, if something tragically hilarious does happen to occur at least people will remember our ceremony!

 

[tberube]

We don''t have a problem with our venue "allowing" a rehearsal, I think, but we decided not to have one because the wedding party is so small. Our JP actually let me know that we''d be throwing away our money, to pay her for the rehearsal. So we''ll just have the celebration, and that''s fine with me!

 

[julabean]

Our venue charges an extra $500 for a rehearsal, so we elected not to have one, either. We are having a rehearsal dinner, though. We''re planning on going through all of the instructions anyone may need before the dinner.

 

[swingirl]

A rehearsal dinner is a nice opportunity for all the main people to meet and socialize under more casual and relaxed circumstances and actually visit with the bride and groom. It''s a good time for the in-laws to interact. Call it whatever you want if you are actually having a rehearsal. Call it the non-rehearsal dinner or have a rehearsal in the backyard. It is a good idea to run through the motions before hand even if you aren''t at the venue.

And if your FMIL wants to spring for a dinner party, go for it!! One more opportunity to show off your ring!