Opinions are like elbows...

[Gypsy]

apparently everyone''s got at least a few... and they are all about my registry.


I feel stupid even asking about this but I''m torn.

I registered only at BBB. Short of furniture, they had everything I needed, so I didn''t see the point in registering in multiple places.

Welll, my mother (who routinely shops at very high end stores) commented that BBB was an ''expensive'' place to register (

) and that I should register at Macy''s.

This weekend my aunt asks me where I''m registered and I tell her, and she says, "But I wanted to get you something NICE"... So I told her that I had some nicer items on the registry like the Dyson Animal, and a stand mixer, and some pricey knives... and she told me to reserve the vaccum for her because it was the nicest thing on there, but that I should add a few more pricery things plus I should consider registering someplace nicer.

Both my mom and my aunt suggested Crate and Barrel. So I tried to register there. I found 15 things I like (but don''t need) ... all under 50 bucks. Plus some furniture peices I would like, all over $1000. So I feel ridiculous registering there-- 15 items under 50 bucks and 5 items over a 1000-- it looks like a registry someone on crack put together.

A friend suggested someplace like Best Buy (flat screen TV) but other than the flat screen I can''t think of what we''d want there either.

My mother told my aunt that cash is appreciated... but my aunt (like most of my family tends to prefer) wants to get me a gift... a nice lasting one.

I''m afraid I''''m going to end up with another 5000 persian rug/ scratching mat for my cats if I don''t register for something expensive. But I also don''t feel right registering for something that costs so much.

Anyone got any advice? Honestly, we''d prefer cash or furniture. I hate our couches and would love to replace them. And some new occasional tables would be greatly welcome. I just re-did our bedroom and our dining room is great too, but the living room is just sad.

 

[neatfreak]

You could register at Williams and Sonoma or Pottery Barn, both of which are "nicer" stores (and if you shop online you can interchange the gift cards...shhh!). So you could return what you get and buy a nice couch with the $...

Otherwise you could just appease your aunt and mom and register for some stuff you don't need at Crate and Barrel and exchange it for gift cards later...which I'm not usually an advocate of, but you might just want to appease them so they'll leave you alone.

 

[somethingshiny]

I don''t see why you should register for "nicer" things, if you don''t need them or wouldn''t be particularly happy to receive them. You''re bound to get the million-dollar-crystal-vase from an aunt who really thinks you should have it. And, that''s great because SHE picked it out for you, but I don''t think you should put things on a registry (which I consider a guide to what the couple WANTS) just to make somebody else happy. People will give you what they want you to have. If someone chooses to spend a ton of money on a giant cat toy, so be it. Be gracious and show your gratitude, but don''t sign up for it.

However, having said that, I think you should have a registry at at least two places. It just makes it more convenient for the guests.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Thanks for the title...it was my late uncles favorite quote...you see he lost his arm mowing ...and for some strange reason he loved to say that especially around new acquaintances...the shock and gasps to follow...

He loved to watch them squirm...then he would just laugh...and then they would...and it was no longer a big deal that he only had one elbow.

So sorry to make light of your dilemma...and then not offer any advice. But had I just passed on leaving a comment I would have regretted it!

Thanks for the heart smile!

PS...make a note I seem not to have an opinion...imagine that!

 

[sunnygirl]

Date: 2/19/2008 11:38:33 PM
Author:Gypsy

it looks like a registry someone on crack put together.

Hahaha! Gypsy, you crack me up (no pun intended!) I agree that two registries would be better than one...did you look at Macy''s? They have a lot that BBB might not have....don''t register at C&B if you dont like anything there...I second Williams-Sonoma although pretty pricey. What about adding some place for fancy bedding or something? I think we might do restoration hardware just for their yummy bedding. If you dont like any of that, well just F whatever everyone else says and register for what YOU guys want!

 

[sunnygirl]

one more thing...i will take any extra persian rugs you have!

 

[julabean]

What about registering at someplace like Amazon.com? We needed a lot of electronic stuff but weren''t too impressed with Best Buy, so we did Amazon because they have such a wide selection of housewares and electronics. And also, to appease your mother who wanted you to register at Macys, Amazon.com allows you to register for Macys products because they have a sales agreement with them. If I''m not mistaken, I think Amazon also has furniture... (just checked, and yes, they do!).

 

[violet02]

I only registered for a honeymoon. My friends registered for a honeymoon as 1 of their 3 places they registered at. They got everything fufilled on their honeymoon registry. They told me it was an easy way to get cash without saying ''give me some cash''. I actually really want to put the money towards a honeymoon but it''s an option. I know some people aren''t into the honeymoon registry thing but I personally like it. I can''t imagine what to register for in terms of dishes or whatever. This just makes it less stressful. My boss did the same and had positive results as well. I had one friend that said he preferred buying one of the dishes on my other friends list vs the honeymoon item because it was something that they could look at and say ''so and so'' got me that dish. So some people prefer something tangible. You could just add it as one of the few registries you have. Just a thought. I''m using www.thehoneymoon.com, which is what my friends used as well.

 

[Gwyn]

If people want to spend more money they can just buy multiple items.

I wouldnt change your registry unless you want to.

Also, did you mom say bbb is expensive or inexpensive?

 

[violet02]

Date: 2/20/2008 1:42:41 AM
Author: Gwyn
If people want to spend more money they can just buy multiple items.

I wouldnt change your registry unless you want to.

Also, did you mom say bbb is expensive or inexpensive?

You know, I did that. I bought multiple items, such as helping my friends finish a dish set by buying multiple pieces. My one regret out of the last two weddings i went to (which my friends and I swear we''ll fix next time) is that we should have pooled our money together and gotten them that one big item on their list no one ever buys (ie the kitchen aid artisan mixer). For what we spend individually we could get the big ticket stuff no one wants to shell out for. Next time!

 

[monarch64]

Gypsy/Layla, I wouldn''t bother even listening to the flak! If someone wants to buy you something "nicer," they''ll buy it anyway, no matter where you register, or what for.

Register for your needs, as you''ve already done, and don''t let others sway you. This is still YOUR wedding, even in regards to registry, so do what YOU feel like doing.

We did register for good, better, best, type things in three different stores...but looking back I wish we''d have just done one store and gotten everything we reallllllly needed at the time.

 

[laine]

I would go ahead and register at crate and barrel, since your family seems to want big ticket items and you found some there. Just don''t really tell anyone except those relatives about it, so most people will just know about your main bbb registry.

 

[Gypsy]

For clarification my mother said BBB was EXPENSIVE. My aunt said it was IN-expensive. They are sisters. Like two peas from completely different species of peas... in pods. LOL.

 

[tberube]

first of all - your mother tells you that BBB is too expensive, then later suggests you register at Crate & Barrel??! WHAT?!

Ugh. People are so ridiculous when it comes to the weddings of their family members. Don''t listen to your mom. Don''t listen to your aunt. Register for what YOU (and FI) want, and what YOU need. What does your aunt know about how long your cash will "last," anyway? How does she know you won''t go out and buy a grandfather clock with that cash? Or put it towards your mortgage? Those things will last a hell of a lot longer than that expensive cat scratching pad - and you''ll actually appreciate them.

Okay - here''s my two cents, FWIW. I registered at two places (BBB and C&B) in order to give geographical variety to my guests (e.g. there is no C&B close to most of my family, but there is a BBB - most of my friends prefer shopping at C&B rather than BBB).

Also - do register for whatever your heart desires. Most places, including C&B (I think BBB too) will give you a discount on registry items that your guests don''t purchase for you at the wedding. So if you really love that $500 wine rack at C&B, for example, it''ll only be $450 after your wedding day if nobody gets it for you.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/20/2008 12:19:33 PM
Author: tberube
first of all - your mother tells you that BBB is too expensive, then later suggests you register at Crate & Barrel??! WHAT?!

Ugh. People are so ridiculous when it comes to the weddings of their family members. Don''t listen to your mom. Don''t listen to your aunt. Register for what YOU (and FI) want, and what YOU need. What does your aunt know about how long your cash will ''last,'' anyway? How does she know you won''t go out and buy a grandfather clock with that cash? Or put it towards your mortgage? Those things will last a hell of a lot longer than that expensive cat scratching pad - and you''ll actually appreciate them.

Okay - here''s my two cents, FWIW. I registered at two places (BBB and C&B) in order to give geographical variety to my guests (e.g. there is no C&B close to most of my family, but there is a BBB - most of my friends prefer shopping at C&B rather than BBB).

Also - do register for whatever your heart desires. Most places, including C&B (I think BBB too) will give you a discount on registry items that your guests don''t purchase for you at the wedding. So if you really love that $500 wine rack at C&B, for example, it''ll only be $450 after your wedding day if nobody gets it for you.

Yeah, mom is an interesting person. I''m thinking of registering for a sectional and some tables at Crate and Barrel, then doing what someone suggested and circulating that information to close family only and not letting it out there for general consumption. I''d much rather have a sectional than an imported rug I can''t return (already have those). Or a Lalique vase Hally is going to constantly be trying to kill.

Or maybe I will circulate the CB list and folks can think I''m crazy if they like. LOL.

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/20/2008 11:49:15 AM
Author: Gypsy
For clarification my mother said BBB was EXPENSIVE. My aunt said it was IN-expensive. They are sisters. Like two peas from completely different species of peas... in pods. LOL.

Yup that is me and my sister HAHA

 

[MustangGal]

Doesn''t Macy''s have a furniture department? Maybe add a rigistry there and include some nice furniture and some crystal or something. We registered at Macy''s only because one of hubby''s aunts specifically wanted to buy us something from there, and she picked the $20 picture frame!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I feel really stupid, but what's BBB?

ETA: Now I feel even more stupid...Bed Bath and Beyond..woooooo someone needs some sleep. Isn't college supposed to help your brain?

 

[diamondfan]

I love Williams Sonoma. I do not think BBB is that pricey, but has a lot of the same stuff the other stores do.

Unfortunately you kinda get what you get. Registry or not, people will buy you what they want a lot of the time. Be prepared to return.

I registered at Williams Sonoma and a department store, and a store in Beverly Hills called Geary''s. (This was over 17 years ago!). I just wanted to give people options. I ended up with 4 blenders and no platters, but returned and organized it all. I think furniture overall is too pricey for people to get you, but gift cards to certain places work, you just combine them.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/20/2008 11:33:55 PM
Author: diamondfan
I love Williams Sonoma. I do not think BBB is that pricey, but has a lot of the same stuff the other stores do.

Unfortunately you kinda get what you get. Registry or not, people will buy you what they want a lot of the time. Be prepared to return.

I registered at Williams Sonoma and a department store, and a store in Beverly Hills called Geary's. (This was over 17 years ago!). I just wanted to give people options. I ended up with 4 blenders and no platters, but returned and organized it all. I think furniture overall is too pricey for people to get you, but gift cards to certain places work, you just combine them.

I think the furniture is too expensive too. I didn't add it to the registry. I'm still thinking about the whole "giving people choices" thing, and wondering where else to register. I don't think Williams Sonoma has anything I want. I still feel stupid registering for things I don't need. Gonna have to research this. The honeymoon registry might be the way to go... but I'd rather have cash I think, for furniture. SO confused.

 

[teetee]

Okay I''m going to give you my opinion

If you register at Amazon, you have to put CatGenie on the list. This and the Dyson are my favorite household appliances.

 

[teetee]

Gypsy, I read or heard somewhere that BBB will give you cash for returns...so what if you register for a bunch of stuff there and buy the furniture that you want later? I haven''t signed up for any registries yet but this was the best I could find on their website -


What if I receive duplicate gifts?
We''ll make every effort to keep your registry current. However, sometimes when purchases are made, family and friends may forget to inform us that their purchase is from a gift registry. In the event you receive duplicate gifts, simply return them and we''ll be glad to help you select another gift, or accommodate you in any way we can.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/21/2008 1:41:53 AM
Author: teetee

Gypsy, I read or heard somewhere that BBB will give you cash for returns...so what if you register for a bunch of stuff there and buy the furniture that you want later? I haven''t signed up for any registries yet but this was the best I could find on their website -


What if I receive duplicate gifts?

We''ll make every effort to keep your registry current. However, sometimes when purchases are made, family and friends may forget to inform us that their purchase is from a gift registry. In the event you receive duplicate gifts, simply return them and we''ll be glad to help you select another gift, or accommodate you in any way we can.

Hi Teetee honey! I''m happy to see your pretty kitty''s face and your response. My only concern with the Amazon registry is that folks I''m worried about buying expensive (and useless) gifts are they type that like to go into stores and shop. So I''m not sure Amazon is going to be any better than BBB in that respect. One of my MAJOR reasons for registering at BBB is that they allow for cash returns in case of problems, because I think that''s a great policy.

I did add the $700 All clad cookware set I thought was too pricey earlier to the registry last night. And I''m wondering if I should do bundles of the knives (200 bucks a peice the knives are) instead of open stock in case people don''t want to buy us three individual things.

I took another look at Crate and Barrel. And again, I really only like one coffee table, two end tables, a sectional sofa and an entertainment center. LOL. I''m not sure if I should add those items or not, honestly. My personal feelings are with Diamondfan that it''s just not a good idea to do it. But I got more feedback from family about registering for pricier stuff... so, I''m torn.

 

[sumbride]

Sorry, quick threadjack... TeeTee, do you actually have the CatGenie already? Does it work? I don''t like the idea of it draining into the toilet, and then you need to know when to go flush it.... that sort of grosses me out.

 

[Gypsy]

Sumbride, thanks for reminding me. TeeTee is the cat genie the one where you have to hook it up through your plumbing? Cause we rent. I think that''s why we haven''t bought that yet.

Honestly, I wouldn''t register for cat stuff, I''d just buy it. I have no problem buying stuff for the fur babies. Spend tons on them... so, I''d just go out and get whatever I want. I prefer to register for stuff for us, cause I''m not as good about buying stuff like that.

 

[teetee]

Heehee, I was just teasing when I said to register for the catgenie...but I did think it would be something you''d like

. Unfortunately I don''t have much advice for you on the registry situation. I don''t even know if I am going to register anywhere because 90% of our guests will give us money. I know it sounds crude but that is just how it is in the Vietnamese culture and I don''t mind it one bit.

I have never liked buying gifts for people off registries, it''s just weird to me...but I guess it''s better than the alternative of getting a ton of random gifts that you can''t take back.

I''ve had the catgenie for over a year and I love it! Sumbride, I agree that having to flush the toilet would be totally gross but we have it hooked up to drain into the sink drain pipe so I don''t have to manually flush after each cycle. The system is not perfect though and somewhat inconvenient at times, like this morning there was a hairball stuck in the tube and made me late for work cuz I had to clear it. But in general, it is awesome and even though I''ve had to use the warranty, that company''s customer service is great. I would say it probably gives me a problem maybe once or twice a month so it''s not really that big of a deal. I love not having to buy litter or dump it. Plus there''s no dust or chemical smell all over the house.

Oh yeah, gypsy, you can still use it if you live in an apt because you don''t really make any permanent plumbing modifications. All you do is hook up a t-adapter (it comes with this) to the cold water output from the sink or toilet and split the line. One possible limitation would be space because it is pretty big so make sure you measure before you buy.

 

[diamondfan]

PS Gyspy, I usually say opinions are like another part of the anatomy! You are being MUCH more ladylike than I would be!
Bottom line, in mho...you can steer people with what you choose. People who know you well will ask, and will be likelier to get what you would like. Others do not ask about registries and just get what they want to. Be it a price or easy access issue, or a quirk, who knows, but you just never know til you open the gifts up. I got some off beat stuff, great story material even 17 years later...so it is not all for naught!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/22/2008 12:12:48 AM
Author: diamondfan
PS Gyspy, I usually say opinions are like another part of the anatomy! You are being MUCH more ladylike than I would be!
Bottom line, in mho...you can steer people with what you choose. People who know you well will ask, and will be likelier to get what you would like. Others do not ask about registries and just get what they want to. Be it a price or easy access issue, or a quirk, who knows, but you just never know til you open the gifts up. I got some off beat stuff, great story material even 17 years later...so it is not all for naught!

Hehehe... I was ACTUALLY going to post "Opinions are like _______ everyone''s got one and they all stink" but well, the whole ladylike thing kicked in.

I''ve decided to leave off the furniture. It''s just... not right in my opinion. I have expensive items. If someone wants to get us something really special they''ll probably be a close family member and I told my mom already that if she gets request for that that I want either a LCD flat screen or a gift card for furniture from Lazy Boy (which actually has the section John likes best). And I''ve asked her to make it clear that WE ARE FULL UP ON PERSIAN RUGS. I have one 8 by 10. But I''m inheriting 5 (3 8x10 and 2 5x7) from one aunt and 4 from my parents (1 12x10, 2 8 x 10, and one 5 x 7). That''s 10 persian rugs eventually. It''s not like the things die either, they last for GENERATIONS. I''m all full up.


What "off beat" stuff did you get DF? I''d love to hear!

 

[sumbride]

put the furniture back on after the wedding, and you can get a discount with your registry completion. Seriously, it helps. Especially if you get gift cards or other things you can return. I''m just annoyed that the little giftware shop in my mom''s home town, where I still have tons of store credit doesn''t sell sofas. You can''t sit on 25 armetale platters.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/22/2008 1:12:06 PM
Author: sumbride
put the furniture back on after the wedding, and you can get a discount with your registry completion. Seriously, it helps. Especially if you get gift cards or other things you can return. I''m just annoyed that the little giftware shop in my mom''s home town, where I still have tons of store credit doesn''t sell sofas. You can''t sit on 25 armetale platters.

This is true. LOL. I will probably do exactly what you suggested about the sofas on the registry. That 10% really will help. Can you sell the store credit on ebay?