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PICKING OUT OWN E-RING?

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radiantquest

radiantquest

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 20, 2008
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MY BF AND I DECIDED TO GET ENGAGED AND I AM DOING ALL THE RESEARCH AND PICKING OF MY OWN RING. I LIKE THAT I KNOW I WILL GET EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, BUT PART OF ME THINKS HE SHOULD BE DOING THIS AND THAT MAYBE HE ISNT INTO THE ENGAGEMENT AS MUCH AS I AM. ANY THOUGHTS?
 
i think girls are ALWAYS more excited about it than guys ;) Give him style ideas, size ideas and go shopping with him to look at styles. then you can let the rest be up to him if you want. i know many LIW here also get to design with their FF as well and its still an excitment for both parties.

We are using my gma''s wedding ring, but i told ff to design/buy the wedding band.
 
Hmm. Seeing as how you and your boyfriend decided this together, seems like he would have been just as involved in the decision as you were. Did you tell him you'd like it if he helped pick it out? I would not view that as an indication that he isn't interested. If he's talking to you about it, he's likely interested.

If you're disappointed about picking it yourself, maybe you should talk to him about it. Maybe you can shop together so he gets an idea what you like, and he can have final pick after he understands your style?

I think if you have a guy calmly talking to you about rings and engagements, he's definitely on board.

Good Luck!

PS - The ALL CAPS is a little hard on the eyes, if you could curb that. Thanks!!
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sorry about the all caps. i am at work and use caps all the time and didnt turn it off. oops.

thanks for the input. i really appreciate hearing from someone that knows how i feel.
 

Initially my FI didn''t want my input on the ring. He wanted to do it all by himself. Boy did his tune change once he realized buying an engagement ring is not as easy as walking into a jewelry store and walking out with a bag.


Although I have told him what cut I want and given him a good idea of what setting I would like, I have left the final decision up to him. I have chosen not to look at his final stone selection and not play any role in the setting design. I have guided him towards what I like and am letting him do the rest. I have every confidence he will not disappoint.


My guy seems more intimidated by the process and the financial aspect than anything else. It isn''t that he is not excited to get engaged; more like he''s a little scared at buying such an expensive piece of jewelry so he wants to make sure he does it properly.
 
Maybe he''s just sitting back while you do your thing, since you''re so excited about the details. He may not care as much about the depth and clarity. Have you tried to get him involved? I''m sure he''s excited about it, but you''re not letting him be involved enough?

That''s what happened to me...I got a little excited and picked the diamond before he even knew what a table was.
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Oops!
 
Date: 7/21/2008 2:50:15 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

Initially my FI didn''t want my input on the ring. He wanted to do it all by himself. Boy did his tune change once he realized buying an engagement ring is not as easy as walking into a jewelry store and walking out with a bag.



Although I have told him what cut I want and given him a good idea of what setting I would like, I have left the final decision up to him. I have chosen not to look at his final stone selection and not play any role in the setting design. I have guided him towards what I like and am letting him do the rest. I have every confidence he will not disappoint.



My guy seems more intimidated by the process and the financial aspect than anything else. It isn''t that he is not excited to get engaged; more like he''s a little scared at buying such an expensive piece of jewelry so he wants to make sure he does it properly.

Click to expand...

My guy is the same about being intimidated by the financial stuff. He does it for every present. He''s like "If I''m spending 500 dollars, then I want to know you''ll love it" so of course he''s doing the same thing for the engagement ring process. My guy is really frugal most of the time and would hate to spend that much money and have it be anything less than perfect.

I don''t think it''s a matter of being excited, I just think it''s sort of practical for the guy to make sure you''re on the same page with styles and such before dropping thousands of dollars on it. If you were going to buy him a nice gift that has lots of options, say a watch, wouldn''t you want some guidance on what styles, sizes, colors he prefers. I mean, sure every guy would love a Rolex (as every girl loves diamonds
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) but he may have some opinion about its size or color or type of metal. I don''t think it means he''s less excited.

I think it''s great that he wants to make sure you will love it, but if you would rather have the surprise, you should just mention it to him. Or just tell him that you want a cushion cut with a pave band or *insert stone shape here* and have him go from there and do the research himself.
 
We did the same thing! I felt a little hesitant at first that he wasn''t as in to it as I was, but I think some guys are just like that.

I picked the stone and setting, had it shipped and BF took it and hid it away in the safe (where is still sits, drastically affecting it''s brilliant light performance
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). He gets to take over this way, and do the whole suprise proposal thing.

This works for us, I get the ring of my dreams, he is happy that I get the ring of my dreams, he gets to propose with said ring of dreams and he gets to do the whole suprise thing, it''s perfect for both of us!!
 
I would love that!

Seriously, I think all it means is he wants you to be happy and isn''t as in to jewelry as you are. Don''t try to read in every decision to see how "into" this he is. He''s planning on asking you to marry him. I''d bet he''s VERY excited about this.
 
I don''t think it makes it any less romantic really engagement is your first "official" step towards making joint and making big decisions together. If you feel that doing all the research is taking away from it maybe you guys can split the task :).

My FF and I essentially did that, I chose the diamond with his input and the help of the wonderful people of PS and then he is choosing the setting with a few guidelines from me :), I think in someways this is really romantic and symbolic as really it is our first "official" joint decision making :).

I think in terms of excitement though guys tend to internalise it more then girls well least thats the case I find with my FF :) he still gets excited just not as crazy as me though :).
 
We picked out my ring together, but I really made all of the decisions and that''s the only way I would have wanted it because he knew that he was buying exactly what I want. It was actually a really fun process, and I have some great memories of incredibly sweet moments from that time (like when he squeezed my hand really hard and got a little teary when we found *the* diamond, and he said "oh my God, that''s going in your engagement ring!)
 
hi! i wouldn''t take it to mean that he doesn''t care as much about the engagement as you do -- he probably just wants to get you what you love!

you''re really lucky to be able to be part of the process, especially because people have such varying tastes in jewelry and you don''t want to be too surprised.
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me and my FF just picked out mine.. after we decided on the ring.. just had to decide on size he wanted to do it himself but in the end wanted my opinion to make sure it was perfect for me, he is hiding it in the safe until he suprises me :-)
 
Date: 7/21/2008 2:03:52 PM
Author:radiantquest
MY BF AND I DECIDED TO GET ENGAGED AND I AM DOING ALL THE RESEARCH AND PICKING OF MY OWN RING. I LIKE THAT I KNOW I WILL GET EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, BUT PART OF ME THINKS HE SHOULD BE DOING THIS AND THAT MAYBE HE ISNT INTO THE ENGAGEMENT AS MUCH AS I AM. ANY THOUGHTS?
Click to expand...
good idea. #1 rule...never try to surprise women with a ring. there is a 95% chance that the guy will pick the wrong style setting.
 
Date: 7/21/2008 2:03:52 PM
Author:radiantquest
MY BF AND I DECIDED TO GET ENGAGED AND I AM DOING ALL THE RESEARCH AND PICKING OF MY OWN RING. I LIKE THAT I KNOW I WILL GET EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, BUT PART OF ME THINKS HE SHOULD BE DOING THIS AND THAT MAYBE HE ISNT INTO THE ENGAGEMENT AS MUCH AS I AM. ANY THOUGHTS?
Click to expand...
I don''t think the ring-buying process has anything much to do with how into the engagement he is. I think, for a lot of women on this site, it''s hard enough for THEM to figure out what they want--I''d hate to be in the guy''s shoes and be expected to mind read to find out what someone else might want when there are soooooooooo many choices out there! No way! My boyfriend and I are doing the ring-buying together.
 
My SO knows how diamond-crazy I am and how much I''ve learned from this site. I made him a "cheat sheet" so he can pick out something on his own in the parameters I''m interested in. It says things like "try to stay at I color and whiter" or "SI1 is dandy as long as it''s eye clean." He''s quite happy with this situation.

I know what his budget is so I''ve also picked out several online and saved them to a wish list as well.

He''s pretty easy going about it. I just figure I''m making his life easier.
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LOL - wanting it all ... the control, the surprise (but not too much), the input ... I think that guys can never get it quite right (pry unless you decide to do everything together). Advice? Talk to him about it - communication is key I have learned. Maybe you should just be happy - imagine if you had no direct input at all??? I can serve as a cautionary tale - I am relying on my gfs taste in jewellry in general and some known parameters (WG, rectangular/square diamond etc.) but otherwise the ring will be a complete surprise. Maybe that will make you feel better ...
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