Planning the wedding before the proposal..............

[ellie424]

Hi everyone,

Has anyone else started thinking about what you want for various vendors at your wedding before you''re even engaged?? I don''t know when my proposal is coming (probably something within the next 6-8 months) and I already have been narrowing down reception halls, photographers, invitations, flowers, honeymoon, etc.!! My FF and I will probably get married in late 2010. Am I crazy??!?

Or has anyone else started getting ideas of what they want for their wedding??

 

[hlpkaixin3344]

I don''t think it''s crazy if you guys have a set plan of when you want to do things!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Having an idea is helpful so you "hit the ground running" once you do get engaged. Just don''t go overboard

 

[debzy103]

I know some people start planning before they''re engaged, but I am waiting until we are officially engaged. I think that adds some extra fun to it. Plus, you still have 2 years, which is more than enough time to plan your wedding.

 

[sunnyd]

Here''s a recent thread regarding planning --> https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/have-you-been-planning-your-wedding-while-waiting.91751/

Basically, some people wait until they''re actually engaged to start, then others (like me!

) who could have their wedding tomorrow if need be. LOL! Girl Scouts motto: BE PREPARED! So I am.

 

[Dreamgirl]

elle- Are you kidding me? I have folders on my computer dedicated to my future wedding and I wont be engaged for at least 1-3 years from now! I already have my dream venue, photographer, colors, cake style........lol! Sometimes I try to steer clear of that stuff so that I will have something to plan when actually engaged. But then on the otherhand, Im glad I already have AT LEAST an idea of venue and photographer as that is VERY important to me. I mean, I'll be booking that stuff asap baby! lol I just hope to God that the date I want will be available for the venue and photographer.......oh how I hope!!! It's crazy but I worry about that.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I think it''s a great idea to have major decisions out of the way. I had planned and paid for my wedding before the official proposal, but it was because we made the decision to get married so quickly.

 

[sunnyd]

I mean if you KNOW you''re going to get married, then a proposal is just a formality/tradition/whatever. We''re planning baby! LOL...

 

[FrekeChild]

Yeah. We''ve been planning too...

 

[ellie424]

Thanks everyone for your responses! I have been doing so much planning lately and I was just thinking that I may be taking some of the fun away from the planning when we are officially engaged. But the way that I look at it is that taking all of the time to plan and budget now will save a lot of stress when the wedding date is closer. Also, I haven''t actually met with any of the vendors or gone to see any of the reception halls (I''m waiting until we''re officially engaged to do that)...so that will be part of the fun decision making process when we are finally engaged. I''ve just been doing tons of internet research. Planning is seriously so much fun!

Thanks again!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I would say that if you were getting married in 2009, planning as soon as possible would be the best move...

However, you have great while before you actually get married if you''re talking about late 2010.

Things in the wedding industry change constantly...if you make all your plans right now, you''re leaving little room to get excited about new bridal industry trends. You''ll be having a 2008 wedding in 2010.

Getting married is thrilling...and of course you can''t help but to think and plan and organize...but, if it were for me I would gather ideas until about year before and then jump in with both feet.

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 10/14/2008 5:51:48 PM
Author: sunnyd
I mean if you KNOW you''re going to get married, then a proposal is just a formality/tradition/whatever. We''re planning baby! LOL...

I hear you Sunnyd! We know we''re gonna do it, we know when we''re gonna do it... We have a date in mind...We have our guest lists honed down. At this point, it is tradition and formality that my FFI wants to uphold... I mean we''ve done so many things backwards that he really wants to do the proposing part in the right way... That is why certain friends and family don''t know yet... In fact the only people other than us who knows is my Dad and my futre MIL as her input where venues are concerned is of very valued importance! I have folders in my bookmarks too! LOL!

I totally say go for it if you know it''s coming without a doubt.

~SL.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Date: 10/14/2008 5:51:48 PM
Author: sunnyd
I mean if you KNOW you''re going to get married, then a proposal is just a formality/tradition/whatever. We''re planning baby! LOL...

Sunnyd- I read that as, "We''re planning our baby!" and thought to myself, "Oh gosh. Wow. They really ARE getting everything ready in advance!" Then I re-read and came to my senses. It was a looong day at school

 

[katamari]

I don''t think the engagement is necessary if you are doing it together, but I don''t think you should plan behind your partner''s back. Your wedding really should be about your union as a couple, and it should be planned together. I wouldn''t start planning until you are able to work together on it. If, though, you are both talking about it in the open and planning together, I don''t see a problem with it.

 

[mariewest]

Every girl plans her wedding out down to the littlest details... sometimes before they even meet the guy their going to marry. I think its ok to look around and check out prices and styles, etc. I personally am trying not to get to into it before I am actually engaged because I really want my SO to have a lot of input because I want it to be the wedding he wants and now just what I want. Plus, we don''t really discuss details like our wedding, we have talked about getting married, but we just want to take one step at a time. However, having an idea what you want before the engagement will give you better ideas when you do get the ring.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 10/14/2008 9:04:19 PM
Author: ellie424
Planning is seriously so much fun!

I totally agree!!! And that''s what makes pre-engagement planning ok!!!! My BF and I have already decided to get married in June 2010 (he picked the month and I picked the year

) and we''ve had lots of discussion about venues, colour schemes, etc. I also have a word document on my computer with dress and ring ideas. I haven''t called anyone or booked anything yet but I have warned my BF that I need at least one year to plan which gives him less than 8 months to propose and the booking can begin!

I do agree with ItalianHairColor about changing trends (and personal tastes) so I would hate to make all the arrangements and decide later that I hated everything I chose. If you know for sure what you want, plan away!!!

 

[ladypirate]

LOL--I got a call the other morning when BF thought of a venue we could use. We''re not full-on planning, but we definitely throw ideas around. Granted, a friend of mine is planning hers right now, so I use the excuse that I''m a bridesmaid and need to know all this stuff to help her out.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Haha! I''m glad to see there is someone else out there like me! No, you are not crazy (because then I would be too!) I think knowing that the engagement is coming and apprx when the wedding will be (ours will be in 2010 too), it''s just good planning to start thinking about venues, vendors, color schemes, etc. I could not avoid premature wedding planning because I use to work at a bridal salon, so needless to say I had my entire wedding planned! Of course, it would change about once every month.

SO and I already know where we are getting married, which really helps. Also, his sister is getting married in the same area next year, so she plans to pass her vendor research findings onto me. Heck, I even have a binder already! Oh ring, please come quickly!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 10/14/2008 10:55:33 PM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom

Date: 10/14/2008 5:51:48 PM
Author: sunnyd
I mean if you KNOW you''re going to get married, then a proposal is just a formality/tradition/whatever. We''re planning baby! LOL...

Sunnyd- I read that as, ''We''re planning our baby!'' and thought to myself, ''Oh gosh. Wow. They really ARE getting everything ready in advance!'' Then I re-read and came to my senses. It was a looong day at school

LOL! No, we are not planning our baby yet. Though what will I do without a wedding to plan? Then it will be time to baby research. Hehe!

 

[mtjoya]

Your not crazy! I think that it is sweet that your planning in case that u change your mind on the location etc. I am thinking Paris hotel & casino in las vegas. We both love vegas and that would be perfect for us!

 

[tessari]

The day we first talked seriously about a wedding we called a wedding venue to see how far in advance we would have to book it for a saturday wedding in may or june 2010! But other than that looking at some venue websites and wedding dresses I haven''t been planning at all. I know the dress styles will be different next year...also, planning the details like music, photographer, lighting, flowers--that stuff stresses me out and i am not looking forward to it! i am going to shell out for a planner...so i can only deal with the stuff i am interested in planning: dress, cake, and food...

 

[i_heart_cushions]

I think it''s perfectly normal! Of course, I''m biased because that is exactly what I''m doing right now as I anxiously await the e-ring.

My view is that if you plan ahead, it will make the planning process easier. Think about all the little details a bride needs to remember! There are so many thngs that I would hate to overlook - plus as I go to different weddings, come across different websites, or think up new ideas, I want to make sure I have those written down somewhere so when it comes down to actually executing the plan, I won''t forget them.

I must confess I have a spreadsheet with different tabs for guest list (I have a big extended family and I keep remembering members I have forgotten), possible venues, songs, budget, etc... my BF teases me about it, but I know he secretly appreciates it. He admits it will definitely make our planning easier once he finally asks....one day...any day now....soon *twiddling thumbs*

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 10/14/2008 3:46:02 PM
Author: lliang_chi
Having an idea is helpful so you ''hit the ground running'' once you do get engaged. Just don''t go overboard

I concur with lliang. I was doing TONS of research and sharing it with FF every night while I browsed PS. He asked me to not tell him about anymore stuff and tone down the research a little so something would be saved for actually being engaged. Since I want to get married in a popular location I wanted to have all of the info gathered to hit the ground running come engagement to get a venue nailed down ASAP. I''ve honored his request to tone it down a lot and I don''t share what little I do look into with him since he asked me not to. I know he cares but I can see where he''s coming from in terms of saving some for the engagement.

Wedding planning is a nice distraction sometimes though.

 

[ellie424]

Thanks again for all of your responses! I am going to do some research for now but I''m also going to leave some things for when my boyfriend and I are engaged. I also figure that it will give me time to see if I change my mind about anything and then I can book immediately once we get engaged. My boyfriend is completed clued in on all of my planning. He actually told me that he likes that I''m looking into things now and that he''s really happy that I''m excited about the wedding because he is too and he can''t wait to be married. BTW, yesterday he told me that he isn''t too far off from getting the ring!! I had originally thought that it was going to be at least 6 months from now, but he''s been really budgeting and saving as much as he can and it looks like it''s going to be sooner than expected!!

Thank you again! For now I''m going to continue planning my wedding!

 

[glitterazzi]

Well... I''m that girl who was planning her wedding before I ever had a serious BF... I''m a "Monica" - I have a wedding book! Now that I''ve met my future husband I am STILL planning - luckily for me, though, I''m very indecisive, so I don''t have the balls to reserve anything... Although my bf wants desperately to reserve the church and reception hall... I''ve informed him that until I can talk to my mom about EVERYTHING I can''t make any plans for her... witch means not scheduling a weekend for her when i can''t tell her about it. He''s kinda bummed b/c apparently all of our friends have decided to get married withing a month of our "perfect" date and the calendar is filling up. I keep telling him if he wants to start planning he needs to ask some specific questions!!!

Anyway, I wouldn''t make any hard and fast decisions until the proposal unless the proposal is just a technicality (I have a friend getting married in Vegas - they know the date, location, she has the dress, they are telling people who might want to attend - she''s just waiting on the ring as a technicality). If the proposal is the starting mark - you can shop shop and shop some more, but if you just wait to order or put a deposit on anything you still have all the excitement once the ring is in place!

 

[BlueSki231]

I''ve been planning / dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl!!

And now that I''ve found the man I want to marry I''ve been looking into venues, cakes and whatnot - but mainly just browsing at all the different possibilities. I''m leaving the real hard-core planning and decision making for when the engagement is official.

But I definitely don''t see anything wrong with it! It''s fun!