POLL: Have you ever cheated/been cheated on?

[bar01]

Date: 3/13/2006 9:08:16 AM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/13/2006 3:08:43 AM
Author: DeannaBana
I just had to add to this ongoing thread...I was told---I forget by whom---that cheating can even be sharing deep confidences of an emotional type with the member of the opposite sex...what do you think of that? If that is true, then there might a few more instances of cheating one might consider, I guess...

I think emotional cheating can be just as bad if not worse than a sexual affair. I think if you are sharing deep confidences of the emotional type with a male friend that you wouldn't share with your husband and/or your husband has no idea of this male friend, than it's consider cheating. To me anyway.....unless of course your male friend if gay.

I am afraid I am going to have to agree. This is how most affairs start - and how it did for my ex. It is a controversial point - I know. To me the sex part of my ex's affair was bad enough - but the sharing of deep emotional and personal thoughts, dreams for the future, and insights and details about our marriage (and me) is what nearly killed me. Personally I think I could ( MAYBE) survive my wife having some drunken one night stand (MAYBE) – but never one that also involved deep intimacy with another man. I think it is important to understand your spouses own views on what is cheating and what is not.

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 3/10/2006 12:44:31 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
the fact is....women cheat more than men.

this is a woman''s web site so i better shut up,before i get beat up.

i''m too old to cheat. hee,he.

DF...I think you are absolutely right. Women cheat far more than men.

Women are much more devious, cunning, calculating and manipulative....and we are much better at covering our tracks!

We also tend to have a very random conscience, which only kicks in when other people do wrong!

So guys, when it comes to cheating, us gals have got it nailed.


Have I missed anything dancing fire?????

 

[rainbowtrout]

emotional cheating can be a fuzzy subject. IMO, if you are a) sharing information about the relationship that you know should be kept quiet, for no reason other than just to blab or b)reaching outside the relationship for support you should really be getting inside it, that's a problem. I don't actually consider deep platonic and loving friendships innappropriate, as long as the current s.o. is aware of them and ok with it. I find it a little alarming how quickly people assume they have the right to tell their s.o.'s to break off friendships sometimes. People often seem to have forgotton that there IS platonic love, love outside of marriage/dating/cheating paradigms. It can have nothing to do with sex and be just as meaningful in a totally differant way than relationships with husbands or wives. I'm trying to remember the old Greek seperation between three kinds of love and failing here...

OTOH, I do think when you marry someone you make the emotional connection between you the number one priority. So if a friendship is making your s.o. uncomfortable, even if there was nothing there, I do think you have to stop it. However, as I said above, I also think people can be too quick to demand that friendships end because they have some magical right to dictate their spouse's friends, same-sex or not.


RE cheating: never had it done to me, sort of did it to one boyfriend. I'd already given up on the relationship and was breaking up with him the next day. It wasn't a hugely serious relationship, hadn't said I love you, had been on one date in 4 months. I didn't sleep with anyone, just said some inappropriate things on the phone.

 

[AmberWaves]

The guy is still a right bastard, but now he''s engaged to someone else, that''s right, get my leftovers.

I have to admit, my current BF (soon to be fiance), was a guy I "upgraded" for. I was with another guy (off and on for about a year and a half), well, not really "with" this other guy, I was mostly waiting for him to (silly me) realize he wanted to be with me, even though he had said repeatedly that he wasn''t going to marry for a LONG time. So, when my current BF came along (I had dated him previously), I told the other guy to stop calling, and I''m never going to see him again.. He still calls, trying to be friends. But I just can''t. He didn''t treat me well, even when we were together.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/13/2006 10:09:58 AM
Author: rainbowtrout

RE cheating: never had it done to me, sort of did it to one boyfriend. I''d already given up on the relationship and was breaking up with him the next day. It wasn''t a hugely serious relationship, hadn''t said I love you, had been on one date in 4 months. I didn''t sleep with anyone, just said some inappropriate things on the phone.

that''s even worst!!.phone sex??.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/13/2006 10:00:56 AM
Author: blodthecat

Date: 3/10/2006 12:44:31 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
the fact is....women cheat more than men.

this is a woman''s web site so i better shut up,before i get beat up.

i''m too old to cheat. hee,he.

DF...I think you are absolutely right. Women cheat far more than men.

Women are much more devious, cunning, calculating and manipulative....and we are much better at covering our tracks!

We also tend to have a very random conscience, which only kicks in when other people do wrong!

So guys, when it comes to cheating, us gals have got it nailed.


Have I missed anything dancing fire?????

i mean really...i been reading these post how you girls got cheated and not one women here admit they cheated on their SO

and when a women does admit ,there is always an excuse

on why they cheated.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/13/2006 2:20:20 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i mean really...i been reading these post how you girls got cheated and not one women here admit they cheated on their SO

and when a women does admit ,there is always an excuse

on why they cheated.

Maybe we didn''t admit it because we didn''t cheat.

Also, although I admit that women cheat, I know a few who have, I still think more men cheat than women, we are just catching up.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Date: 3/13/2006 2:04:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/13/2006 10:09:58 AM

Author: rainbowtrout


RE cheating: never had it done to me, sort of did it to one boyfriend. I''d already given up on the relationship and was breaking up with him the next day. It wasn''t a hugely serious relationship, hadn''t said I love you, had been on one date in 4 months. I didn''t sleep with anyone, just said some inappropriate things on the phone.

that''s even worst!!.phone sex??.

Heh! I said "inapppropriate," not " obscene"

Your guess!

Honestly though, I never did feel that badly about it.

 

[rainbowtrout]

RE: SATC. One of the things I thought when I saw the last epidose was "wow, they [carrie and big] are SO going to cheat on each other..."

I actually liked Petrovsky though. I thought if Carrie had a shred of her own life beyond shoes and a column it would have worked out between them. When you date/marry anyone who loves their job so much it isn't a job, its their life, you need to understand what the terms of that are, and he laid them out pretty clearly for her ("I thought you knew who I was").

Maybe because myself and BF are both total workaholics I sympathize with this better? I mean, her PARTY was supposed to be more important than his gallery opening??? No, he shouldn't have stopped holding her hand at the museum, but come on. he's been preparing for that show longer than they had been together, a LOT longer.

I also thought Aiden was a little bit of a control freak who never really forgave her/accepted her. Good guy, but they weren't right for each other.

However, my all time favorite guy would have to be Harry

what a doll. Favorite girl though is hands down Miranda. She's so much more real to me. One of my all time favorite shows was when at the end,Miranda has been trying to have sex with some random guy after Carrie's book party, and the baby starts crying, guy leaves, and she picks him up and goes "It's just you and me now, huh?"

Gets me every time