Pregnancy and TTC After a Loss

[E B]

Date: 7/29/2009 9:06:07 AM
Author: blushingbride
I had heard about taking progesterone (and baby aspirin) after you get your BFP.

Ebree (or anyone else who went this route) - did you have low progesterone levels before your doctor put you on it? I''ve had my levels checked twice already and apparently they are normal. Just wondering if that was the case for you. Also, did you have any clotting issues which is why your doc may have put you on baby aspirin? I do not have any that I''m aware of so I''m curious.

If I remember correctly, my progesterone level was tested at some point with pregnancy #2 and was fine. Since taking extra doesn''t hurt, however, my RE prescribed it just in case. Same for the baby aspirin (I was never tested for a clotting disorder). I''m not sure if either actually helped, but in case one (or both) did, I''ll be taking them during my next pregnancy as well.

 

[swimmer]

BB, my progesterone levels were fine, but the RE put me on progesterone starting 2 dpo and I have to stick with it till week 10 (if I'm knocked up). He said it can't hurt and can only help, but that baby asprin is only for those with clotting issues (that would show up with the bloodtests he had done) and to take it when it isn't needed is a bad idea. Hope that helps. It is so hard to get excited in a positive way, knowing exactly what can happen, but it will happen, and we will be elated in a different way than the first time.

 

[blushingbride]

Thanks Ebree and Swimmer - I will ask my RE about it when I speak to her next (once I start clomid, she asked me to call her). Was the progesterone prescribed to you a cream or pill?

 

[swimmer]

It is a prescription, apparently taking progesterone orally is not very effective because the way our bodies metabolize it. Its a little insert, like a tampon for 12yr olds, made of progesterone lotion that you keep in the fridge. It is a bother, but hopefully it works.

 

[NewShiny]

Blushing and others,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I am a lurker who was about to join the preggo thread, but lost the baby just after 8 weeks. I had a d&c on Monday and have been recovering this week. Of everything I''ve read about the experience on the internet, this thread has been the most helpful. I am very scared to try again, but am so ready to have a baby in my life. Its just so hard when you''ve done all the "right" things, waited for the "right" time, and then have no control whatsoever when something like this happens. Does anyone have any advice about moving on after this experience? I don''t want to dwell on what won''t be, but I am scared to try again and I don''t want to forget my little one that will never be.

 

[somethingshiny]

NewShiny~ I''m sorry for your loss. Your comment about being "so ready to have a baby" is what keeps moving you forward. It is SO hard knowing you''ve done "right" and it doesn''t seem to be enough, but the fact that you still WANT to do it means you''ll be fine. You''ll go through the entire grieving process and that''s as it should be. It''s okay to acknowledge the due date and any other "big" days you had planned. It may help to "name" the child. For me, my first miscarriage was the hardest. We named the baby and that helped us to move on. As far as being scared to try again, a dr appt may ease your fears. Get the all clear and all healthy before trying again. And, while I don''t think you''ll ever forget your little one, I hope you are able to get to a stage where it doesn''t hurt so much. And above all, on your good days, DON''T feel guilty for not dwelling on your loss. Also, you may need to forgive yourself. SO many moms ponder what they MUST have done wrong. Acknowledge the loss but don''t place blame particularly on yourself.

It seems unfair at first and may continue to for a while. I think all moms who miscarry think "why does SHE (an underage girl, a mom of 17, a woman who doesn''t even want her baby) get to have a baby?" My best advice is acknowledge all of your feelings. By not allowing yourself to have those conversations in your head, you''re just holding yourself back.

Good luck and know that you are in my prayers.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/1/2009 11:32:32 PM
Author: NewShiny
Blushing and others,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I am a lurker who was about to join the preggo thread, but lost the baby just after 8 weeks. I had a d&c on Monday and have been recovering this week. Of everything I've read about the experience on the internet, this thread has been the most helpful. I am very scared to try again, but am so ready to have a baby in my life. Its just so hard when you've done all the 'right' things, waited for the 'right' time, and then have no control whatsoever when something like this happens. Does anyone have any advice about moving on after this experience? I don't want to dwell on what won't be, but I am scared to try again and I don't want to forget my little one that will never be.

I am very sorry for your loss... My SIL had a few miscarriages, and it broke her heart. But she went on to have two beautiful kids, who are now 12 and 9. I think you give yourself time to grieve and then go for it... You will never forget the one you lost. I lost one in between my two, and wonder... I did everything right.... sigh..

But at least you know you can get pregnant....

HUGS and best of luck going forward... Sending prayers your way..

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 8/1/2009 11:32:32 PM
Author: NewShiny
Blushing and others,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I am a lurker who was about to join the preggo thread, but lost the baby just after 8 weeks. I had a d&c on Monday and have been recovering this week. Of everything I''ve read about the experience on the internet, this thread has been the most helpful. I am very scared to try again, but am so ready to have a baby in my life. Its just so hard when you''ve done all the ''right'' things, waited for the ''right'' time, and then have no control whatsoever when something like this happens. Does anyone have any advice about moving on after this experience? I don''t want to dwell on what won''t be, but I am scared to try again and I don''t want to forget my little one that will never be.

NewShiny - you are EXACTLY where I was just one month ago. I started a miscarrying on Sunday, July 5th and finished naturally the next day. I had taken off from work the rest of the week and it was such a painfuly week for both DH and myself (although he was much stronger than I was). I am not scared to try again because we want a baby so badly, we don''t want to waste anytime and are hoping for a much better outcome this time around.

I know what you mean about not having control when something like this happens - you don''t have control over when you get pregnant and then when you do, you have no control over what happens between then and the actual delivery. It''s so hard.

Did you find out about the miscarriage during an ultrasound? What made it extra hard for us was seeing our bean and hearing the heartbeat just 4 days before the miscarriage. I fell in love right then and there - then when we lost it, my heart was broken.

Right now, I''m still waiting for my Aunt Flo to come since the miscarriage (and boy do I hope it''s soon). We actually went to Savannah/Hilton Head this weekend with friends and it was exactly what we needed. It helped me to clear my head and focus on our future. I will NEVER forget the bean we lost (I think about it everyday), but I need to move forward in order to heal. You''ll get to that place too, it just takes some time.

For now, grieve and lean on your hubby for support. You''ll find yourself crying or thinking about everything at the most random moments, but that''s OK - it''s all part of the process.

Hang in there - it does get easier!

 

[NewShiny]

SS and Kaleigh,
Thank you so much for your advice and support. I am grateful for others who are willing to share about this experience. Its a club none of us ever wanted to join, but we''re members anyway.

Blushing, our stories are eerily similar. I was starting to do fertility testing when I got my BFP. I had a progesterone test (normal) and was scheduled for an HSG, but the + came first. At eight weeks (7/23), I had my first appt and we saw and heard a heartbeat. We were so excited & told our families that weekend. By Sunday, the spotting could no longer be called spotting and the cramps started. I got into the Dr., and he did an ultrasound to tell me what I already knew. I am now starting the wait for AF.

I''m glad you were able to get away last weekend. I went to Savannah 2 years ago and loved it. We have had a trip planned to Hawaii in Sept for quite some time now, and we are looking forward to it more than ever. I hope your AF comes soon. Hopefully we can celebrate sticky BFPs sooner rather than later.

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 8/3/2009 9:06:36 PM
Author: NewShiny
SS and Kaleigh,
Thank you so much for your advice and support. I am grateful for others who are willing to share about this experience. Its a club none of us ever wanted to join, but we're members anyway.

Blushing, our stories are eerily similar. I was starting to do fertility testing when I got my BFP. I had a progesterone test (normal) and was scheduled for an HSG, but the + came first. At eight weeks (7/23), I had my first appt and we saw and heard a heartbeat. We were so excited & told our families that weekend. By Sunday, the spotting could no longer be called spotting and the cramps started. I got into the Dr., and he did an ultrasound to tell me what I already knew. I am now starting the wait for AF.

I'm glad you were able to get away last weekend. I went to Savannah 2 years ago and loved it. We have had a trip planned to Hawaii in Sept for quite some time now, and we are looking forward to it more than ever. I hope your AF comes soon. Hopefully we can celebrate sticky BFPs sooner rather than later.

Wow Newshiney - we really did have similar experiences! I was going to have an HSG the next cycle, but got my BFP. I was also supposed to go on clomid the next cycle and now I'm restling with the idea for my cycle after my miscarriage. I also had our first appointment to see/hear the heartbeat on a Thurs. and then started bleeding that Sunday. That Friday was July 3rd and we went to a BBQ where we told some of our closest friends.

Did you have your tissue testing after the D&C? Also, did your doctor tell you what he/she thought could've been the reason for the miscarriage? Do you have any fertility issues you are aware of? Sorry for all the questions, but just curious as to what may have been the reason for you or even both of us. My doctor said that she feels very strongly that our miscarriage was caused by chromosomal abnormalities because we were so far along and had seen/heard the heartbeat.

I know you said you were a lurker, but feel free to come join us in the TTC thread - it also may help you through this hard time and give you the support needed to get back on your feet. During the week I was off after the miscarriage, I was constantly on the computer trying to find answers and lurked in other support forums, but nothing compared to here for me.

BTW - where are you going in Hawaii? We went to Maui for our honeymoon and thought it was absolute paradise! You will LOVE it and it will be EXACTLY what you need to recharge and refocus!