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PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

Date: 1/20/2010 12:10:40 PM
Author: Sha
Hugs to you, Mandarine.
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I''m glad you''re feeling better today. Just wanted to say I''m sure you''re doing a fantastic job! I honestly have no idea how you and other twin mommas do it... I''m in awe even just reading your story of breastfeeding both babies while standing in the fitting room! Amazing!
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I''m exhausted and frustrated with just one...
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Dalila (7 weeks) also has a very irregular sleep schedule...last night she got up every hour or 1/2 hour for a feeding. Example of her schedule last night- sleep at 2:15 am - up at 3:30 am. Down again at 4:30 am, up at 6:00 am. Down at 6:30 am - up at 7:11 am. It was really tiring!!
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I really feel your pain but can only imagine how much more demanding it is with two babies to feed, comfort etc instead of one. Don''t feel bad for feeling bad and frustrated at times. I think most parents do perhaps don''t about it openly. Hopefully their schedules will settle soon.
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Oh I wish I was BFing! I was bottle feeding the babies
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I remember in the beginning my guys would eat every 2 hours..(even at night)...and it took us 45 minutes-1 hour to feed them. So basically that meant we were getting like 45 minutes of sleep in between feedings. I remember when they went to every 3 hours I thought that was HEAVEN! haha.

It does get better....

UNTIL sleep regression makes it''s nasty appearance. See? I''m a good friend and I''m warning you
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Mandy, maybe they are not lying...I suppose it could happen - I just don''t personally know of any. I know it''s not scientific, but I have a large pool of friends and their kids to "analyze." 3 of my close old friends and 7 friends that are now part of my social circle. Between us, there are about 15 kids and growing. My close friends believe in schedules and sleep training. My social circle friends do not. None of them slept 12 hours at 7 weeks. Again, not scientific, but I think Neatfreak once said since she''s friend with several twin moms, it does give you a solid cross section of life to work with.

Amelia at 8 weeks (I know this because a friend turned 30 the weekend of memorial day weekend) slept from 7-2am, had a feed, then back down until 7. As you know, a once a night feeding is certainly possible. At 13 weeks (July 4th), Amelia went 12 hours.
 
BTW Mandy, I think 10-7 is possible. I know that Amelia did go a few times from 7 to 3 am in the weeks that she was doing the one night wake up thing. That's 8 hours of straight sleep, which is close to what your friend's kid is doing. It just didn't feel like STTN to me since I had to still get up in the middle of the night. One of my social friends recently told me her son STTN so early and that she felt sorry for kids who still weren't doing so at a year old. I stared at her (since I was around for a lot of those early days), and said, "um, do you remember that you put your kid down for the night at 12-1am? Of course a kid is going to sleep through the night when he's put down in the middle of it!"

As many have noted, memory is faulty. That's why it's fun to document here...it's all in writing!
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Mela- Thanks! He''s a pretty good combo of us I think. He looks like DH when he''s serious but looks like me when he smiles. They change so much, he looked just like DH until about a month ago. So we''ll see! Any new pics of Romy?

Vizla- Hi there!
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I was thinking about you and Charlie the other day and wondering how you were. Ugh, sounds like everything in the book is being thrown at you. My BFF''s daughter was just like that, had food/colic/stomach issues, she had to completely eliminate everything from her diet, she got mastitis, etc. The good news is Charlie will outgrow most of this stuff. I know it sounds far off, but by 6 months my BFF''s daughter was pretty much over most of it. We''re here for you!!! Any pics of C????

Natalina- I''ll say it again, step away from the books. I frustrated myself with the "shoulds" and my life got so much better and I started enjoying O so much more when I stopped trying to force stuff on him. Now that he''s older, I can say with confidence that you WILL KNOW when you need to stop swaddling, when they need a bedtime routine, etc. It becomes obvious and the babies show you what they need. Try following her lead a bit more. I was so stressed that O didn''t have a bedtime routine but it just didn''t seem to matter. About 2 weeks ago, it became very obvious that he needed a bedtime and needed a routine and it just naturally happened. Do what you can to survive, especially since you are on your own. I worried about bad habits and really O has been too young to really form them yet. All of the things I worried about he quickly dropped when he needed to.

Anchor- Sounds like you''ve gotten good advice already. Nice to "see" you on this thread.

Mandarine- Funny thing is I totally read about the four month "wakeful" thing on this thread and sleep regression and I really didn''t think it would happen to me since O was such a good sleeper.
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Ha ha ha, joke is on me. So even if you "know" about it, it still throws you for a loop. I found that once I expected O to get up, I didn''t mind so much. And then most of the time when I expect him to wake up, he sleeps all night. Go figure.

OK- WHY CAN''T YOU REUSE BM?????? I have always put the BM back in the fridge and re-used it.
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And I swear I looked it up before I did it. Ooops. Well, O is still alive. Guess I better call the nanny!!!!!
 
I think it is certainly possible (to have babies that young STTN for long stretches), but in my opinion the ones who STTN the "best" or longest tend to regress the most later on, so there may still be payback!
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Yeah...I think it's possible since mine have gone from 7pm to 6am (before hitting 12 weeks so their "adjusted" age was 8 weeks). Bit to sy they STTN starting at 7 weeks and never went back and never cried, once...dunno.

ETA:
I totally just confused my babies since getting back from the gym. The nanny tols me Lucas was the one wearing blue and so I believed her. I played with them, put them down for naps...in the wrong cribs and just realized it!!
 
Hi everyone,

I haven''t been posting much (trying to enjoy all my remaining maternity leave with Olivia), but I have definitely been lurking. It''s so great to know everyone is going through the same things. I am loving all the baby pics, they are all so adorable. Olivia just had her 2 month check-up, she''s 10 lbs and 22 inches. She''s finally out of newborn clothes and into 0-3. It''s amazing how much she changes week to week. She is so alert now and is really starting to enjoy playing with some of her toys. We just got back the proofs of the newborn photos we had taken when she was 10 days old. I am so glad we did this, here is one of my favorites.

Olivia is finally on a decent schedule of STTN (and by that I mean 5-6 hours, not 10-12!). She typically goes down around 11:30-12 and wakes around 5:30-6. This is great for me, 5-6 hours of sleep is typical for me (I used to work at a Wall Street law firm and rarely got home before 12). Now I am trying to work on naps. She is not a very big napper, but she gets very fussy in the early evening so I think she is overtired (tried pushing bedtime back, it was useless, she would fight it and we wasted 4 hours. Now we just let her nap between 8-11 if she falls asleep, otherwise we start bedtime routine around 10:30-11.) I;ve just been putting her in her pack n'' play or crib at naptime and as long as she isn''t all out screaming, I leave her in there. I don''t consider it cry it out because she''s not crying and I''ve notice if I let her fuss for 10 min. or so she''ll usually fall asleep.

Tao, I also sucked it up and went shopping this weekend. I''ve still been wearing maternity clothes, but I am going back to work in 2 weeks and I jsut can''t go back to work in maternity pants. I am fine in all my regular shirts, but pants are a no go. I''ve got about 15 lbs of baby weight left to go and I need to lose all of it before wearing my regular pants again, since I''d put on a few lbs. before getting preggo and there wasn''t a lot of extra room to start with. It was depressing to buy pants 2 sizes larger than normal, but I admit it is nice to be in nonmaternity pants that fit. I have also been doing 30 day shred and I go to a personal trainer once a week, so hopefully I''ll be back in regualr pants soon, but the weight loss has defintiely tapered off.

Another reason for the clothes shopping is that I am going out this Saturday night! A bunch of my girlfriends will be in town visiting and DH is babysitting so I can go out for a few cocktails. I can''t wait!

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NB--
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What a beauty Olivia is.
 
Date: 1/20/2010 1:02:40 PM
Author: lili
NB--
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What a beauty Olivia is.
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Thanks lili! I think so, but I am biased!
 
Oh November, what a beautiful picture of Olivia! I actually "aww"ed out loud. So sweet. I really wish I had done pro newborn pics- we did them at the hospital and WOW does O look creepy!!!!
 
NB: What an adorable photo of Olivia
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Re: swaddling

Sophia always hated to be swaddled but she needed it. When she was about 2 months and a week or two, she started fighting to get her left arm out. I''d go check on her and there would be a little fist or a little elbow peeking out, always the left. So I started putting her to sleep with her left arm out. What was funny was that I had to hold down her arm, otherwise she would go crazy but as soon as she would fall asleep she was fine. Then she started with her right so we figured we''d go cold turkey and that was a disaster. After that we did the two arms and left her bottom half swaddled. We decided to go cold turkey again when she was about 3 months and I found her leg out of the hole of the swaddleme blanket. I still have no idea how she managed to do that but we stopped swaddling that same night and never went back to it.

Sleep regression:

Before returning to work Sophia was sleeping 9pm to 5am for about a week straight. I was so relieved. When I went back to work, Sophia would go to bed at 9pm, wake at midnight, and then every 1 to 2 hours after. She did this for 2 weeks straight except on the weekends. I remember ugly crying on my way to work one morning because all I wanted was to be in bed. That''s when I decided not to ever get excited about her sleeping for long periods ever again lol. I will say though that the first time she slept 12 hours, I did not. I went to bed at 10pm, woke at midnight to check on her, then at 2/3/5 and 6. I still cannot sleep all night when she does. My internal clock just wakes me up every day at 3am and I go check on her.
 
Thank you everyone. Jacob can sleep up to 4 hours between feedings during the day... I oiften have to wake him because I try to feed him every 3 hours. I would be in heaven if he did that during the night! Having him nap in his swing in the living room, and nursing him in his room at night might help, I''ll try that. Blen - How do I know if he''s hungry or just wants to suck? Should I try a paci?

November - Olivia is gorgeous!
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Date: 1/20/2010 12:15:46 PM
Author: Mandarine
He would definitely take the 11pm feeding if that becomes the norm. That''s what we were doing until they dropped off that feeding. It''s just unpredictable with them now...but absolutely, if they are up before he goes to bed DH always takes charge without me even asking. I was up anyway because of all the screaming..helped him make bottles and went back to bed...

You guys don''t have friends that tell you their babies STTN at 7 or 8 weeks?. I have TONS of those liar friends!. One tells me her baby has NEVER cried. Never, not even when he was teething. He just sort of calls for her. Really?. This kid was also STTN @ 7 weeks. From 10pm to 7am.

Yesterday at the twin''s group meeting one girl said her twins STTN since 8 weeks (7pm to 7am). I seriously wanted to punch her. I thought she could be friend material, but after she made that comment I''m just not so sure anymore...hahaha
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Ha ha...
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That''s funny. Makes me think of a little baby calling from his cradle, "Yoo hoo....!! Mother dear...!"
 
November, what a beautiful photo of Olivia!
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She''s so beautiful!

Re: sleep schedules - Tgal, NOvember and others whose babies slept 5-6 hours at around 2 months - I''m so impressed and envious. Were your babies always good sleepers, or was there something you did to help them along?

I think my challenge is that Dalila only feeds for a very short time in one sitting (typically only about 5-10 minutes) and then falls asleep, so she wakes up every hour feeling hungry and wanting to nurse again.
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Date: 1/20/2010 2:26:43 PM
Author: Sha
November, what a beautiful photo of Olivia!
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She''s so beautiful!

Re: sleep schedules - Tgal, NOvember and others whose babies slept 5-6 hours at around 2 months - I''m so impressed and envious. Were your babies always good sleepers, or was there something you did to help them along?

I think my challenge is that Dalila only feeds for a very short time in one sitting (typically only about 5-10 minutes) and then falls asleep, so she wakes up every hour feeling hungry and wanting to nurse again.
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Amelia was formula fed. While I don''t buy that she was able to sleep for longer periods simply because she was formual fed vs breast fed (my close friends all BF and their kids did fine with the sleep conditioning), it is a fact that formula takes longer to digest than breast milk, so I do think it helps. I can''t comment on the BFing issue, but I will answer your question.

At some point when she was a few weeks old, the doc gave the green light at night to feed once she woke (I was feeding around the clock every 2.5-3 hours, even if it meant waking her). For her night feeding, we decided to let her go as long as she slept. The last scheduled feed was 10ish, and we let her go from there.

She managed to sleep until 2am consistently, so a 4 hour stretch. At the 6 week mark, we began to march the bedtime back by 30 minute increments. We noticed the 2 am wake for a feed was consistent, even though the "bedtime" was put back. 2 weeks later, by memorial day weekend, her bedtime was set at 7pm and she still had the wake up at 2 (it could vary between 1-3 am, but it was consistently one wake up.) To get from 10pm to 7pm there were 6 "stops" if you consider the 30 minute increments. So we moved it every 2-3 days. That''s how she got to STTN by the technical definition, because I kept seeing how much we could push the envelope. I documented it somewhere on the preggo thread...it was like a crazy science experiment.

What we also did was not let her sleep more than a 2ish hour stretch during the day as a general rule. We followed something like the EASY (or AESY) pattern during the day, which was in 3 hour blocks. I was consistent with it, even when it meant waking her. Of course, lots of people say never wake a sleeping baby, and I understand why. This was the hardest thing because I was SO tired and who wants to mess with a nice, happy sleeping baby? I never really shook her awake or anything, but i found that a firm "Pssst?" would wake her. Just that point in the cycle, she must not have been in deep sleep.

I think firmly establishing day vs night really helped us when it came to Amelia sleeping at night. At night, Amelia was able to sleep for as long as she wanted. During day, she napped. This is what I think a lot of people forget...and after a tough, sleepless night, we all take whatever break we can get by letting the baby and ourselves catch up during the day. As I''ve said before, survival first, but for me PERSONALLY, I wasn''t going to survive well if I didn''t get rest at night. Grabbing what I could during the day would never be enough, so I struggled during the day in the hopes that her nights would sort itself out.

HTH.
 
Date: 1/20/2010 12:38:40 PM
Author: ChinaCat
OK- WHY CAN''T YOU REUSE BM?????? I have always put the BM back in the fridge and re-used it.
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And I swear I looked it up before I did it. Ooops. Well, O is still alive. Guess I better call the nanny!!!!!
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What DH did when he was a SAHD was to keep working on the same bottle during the day. If there was any left over at the end of the day, it was tossed as I BF when I was home and so it would be sitting around until the next morning at that point. Here''s what Kellymom says about that (quick version if you don''t feel like reading - it''s okay to reuse milk at the next feeding). Daycare licensing in our state, which is unnecessarily strict about certain things, said it must be used or tossed within an hour of heating, so that''s what happened in daycare. I was assuming from Anchor''s question that her DH was doing one wakeup a night, and so he shouldn''t be saving the previous night''s milk - that''s 24 hours after first warming it up. And I just left out a bunch of info as I could tell that George was starting to stir, which would have helped put things in context. My bad.

Anchor - babies use different types of suck when they''re sucking to get milk out versus sucking just for comfort. I don''t know if the difference became more pronounced when George was a few months old or if I just caught onto it then, but it did take me a few months to figure it out. It just feels different. It''s lighter. I think that you could try a paci if you''d like, and I''m sure he''d let you know if he''s still hungry. We didn''t try one until he was 5 weeks and he wouldn''t take it at that point, but I don''t know if it was just him or the timing. I was super concerned with milk supply as I was going back to work at 6.5 weeks, which is why we didn''t try to introduce one earlier, but I''m not sure if it''s as much of an issue with you.

November -
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Now I wish we did newborn pics. Wow.

Sha - have you tried waking Dalila when she falls asleep the first time to try to get her to drink up a bit more? I''m wondering if that would help.
 
I though anything they touched in a bottle has to be thrown away if they don''t drink it because bacteria builds...

so like if I make them a bottle and they don''t eat it, I throw away the bottle...never save it for next time.

Are you guys saying it''s ok to put it in the fridge and re-use??
 
In that link it says "In contrast, formula must be refrigerated and discarded after the first feeding attempt because it contains no antibodies or infection protection factors". But I think that licensing requirements were 1 hour for either formula or BM, and so you may be okay within an hour?? Maybe someone else can chime in on this.
 
I was told that formula was okay for like 6-8 hours in the fridge with a lid on it. We've never had any issues with that (no upset tummy or sickness)....so if we make an 8 ounce bottle to go through the night--E will drink about half of it at his first feeding and then we put it back in the fridge for the next time he wakes up. But anything after 8 hours we don't use it...now I'm freaking out after reading that we should only use it for an hour!


E seems to be a bit more on schedule with sleeping. We had a rough few days but he woke at 3 a.m. and again at 630...so he's closer to his "normal" schedule of 4 and 7....and the hubby let me sleep in this morning (10:00..oops!) Around 2 p.m. the baby was screaming and I told my husband he was tired and needed a nap (he hadn't napped at all so far that day). My husband asked how I could manage so long with the baby all day---he was already exhausted from taking care of the baby from 6:30-2 p.m. Haha.

I go back to work on Monday----8-4....I'm so sad
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I never had any leftovers with Sophia except for the occassional 1oz and I would usually just let that sit room temperature because I knew within the next hour she would have it.

As for formula, I''m royal confused lol. Sophia drinks room temperature so I do not prepare bottles ahead of time. I would think if she left an ounce or whatever after she ate, I could just stick it in the fridge since I didn''t heat it up
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Ugh the board ate my post!

NB: Olivia is so pretty!

Mandy: It''s kinda funny that you confused the kids. I guess you won''t listen to the nanny anymore when she says who is who.

China: I''ll head over to read that....what about cold formula? Evan drinks his cold or room temp (he doesn''t like it heated up).


Swaddling: Evan hated the receiving blanket swaddle...but he loves his Halo Swaddle and his Swaddle-Mes....and he sleeps better because of it....but this is how we found him the other morning....he had somehow managed to take his pants off.

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Fiery: Same thing here with the formula...We normally do room temp (except at night where we prep the bottle so we aren''t stumbling around half asleep)...and if there is an ounce or whatever left over we pop it in the fridge for maybe 2 hours....

We do not heat up our formula ever.
 
hey ladies!
thanks for your support (again!) such a great group of mommies.
i was reading thru the posts just nodding to everything! i feel like i need to get charlie on some type of sleep/nighttime routine too! (11weeks) but just don''t see how that''s possible when he doesn''t really sleep. we do our last feeding in our bedroom, i change him, lavender lotion, massage and then cuddle until he falls asleep, but he''s still up 45 mins later and then we rock, hold, pat, pick up, put down etc until it''s time for him to eat again. ugh. i''m kinda against CIO but i''ve tried almost every other sleep training method in the books and nothing seems to work, or at least his sleeping never got any better by 6 or 7 days into the "routine". my LO is soooo nosy that we literally have to cover his eyes and shut them for him to get him to sleep. he can stare at the wall in a pitch black room for hours if we don''t close his eyes for him. STTN seems a million miles away since my days are like 20hrs long!

yeah, i''ve had a rough go of it this maternity leave. the hospital and surgery was a nice icing on the cake.. it was "leave your baby bootcamp". before the hospital i had not left c for more than 2 hours. on a good note i got my drain out today! and can actually hold c like a mom should. it''s been really rough but (and this sounds totally awful) i''m hoping that daycare will help to sort some of these sleep/routine things out. those workers know more about babies than i do, right? actually, the thought of sending c to daycare in 2 weeks is petrifying .... and i cry each time i think about it, but i''m trying to think of the positive and not the negative.

c is also getting up 2 or 3 times a night. a 4 hr stretch seems heavenly! i''d take a 12a feeding and then a 4a feeding over every 2.5-3hrs that''s for sure! grass is always greener right?

i''m trying to find sabine''s posts about her jacks.. hopefully she can chime in with any war stories. my LO is such a peanut, only 10.5 lbs at his 2month check up (8lb 2oz birth weight). the doc said she''s not surprised he doesn''t weigh more since he doesn''t sleep. makes my anxiety about sleeping so much worse.

here is a recent pic of my little guy tho, one where he''s all happy ;)

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V: Evan was practically the same weight at his 2 month check up--he was 10 lbs 10 oz. (though he was smaller at birth 6 lbs 11 oz, then your lo) and he eats and sleeps fine...I can't believe the doctor said that to worry you....and that picture is sooo cute....we can't capture smiles yet..as soon as I pull the camera out he stops smiling.
 
oh re: using "old" bm etc. the surgeon was pretty convinced that the reason i got an abscess was because bacteria got into my boob thru my cracked nipple and possibly b/c of using a bottle/nipple shield 30 mins after he had stopped and then started a feeding again. i''m soooo redic about washing/sanitizing everything each and every time i use it now. before i would sanitize once a day... no more. anyhoo, not that my stroke of bad luck is going to hit any of you, but i would be weary about reusing a bottle, formula, boob juice after they started and stopped a feeding. it gets tossed now, even if i do cry b/c his super expensive formula or boob jooice is going down the drain

:)
 
hey! i think she was more worried b/c he had only gained 2 lbs in 2 months. b/c he''s awake all of the time and using up all of his calories. *I* am just putting extra pressure on myself to get him to sleep more so he gains more weight.
 
I also give them their bottles room temperature...no way I was going to be heating up bottles for these two monsters!
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So if I don''t heat it up, it is ok to re-use it?
 
Date: 1/19/2010 3:37:36 PM
Author: Mandarine
Thank you guys.


I know what you mean about DHs...and I agree. I think in my case it''s more my problem. I need to be able to articulate more what I want/need and let him follow through. On Friday AND on Saturday night he asked me if he wanted me to get up and tend to the crying baby (at 3am or so) and I said no. Why? I have no idea. I''m an idiot!. I need to let people help me...starting with DH...especially when he''s ASKING me!
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Mandy, I do this too. Not that my hubby can help with the feedings since I am BF and not pumping, but sometimes he could put the pacifier back in Wes''s mouth or see if he has a burp or something. I think it''s cause we want to be martyrs or something. I''m also one of those people who "if you want it done the right way, you have to do it yourself!". I''m starting to realize though that that''s not what parenting is about. That is at least when you and your hubby are both willing, capable, loving parents. It doesn''t matter if hubby doesn''t do it the same as you. But what I really need to get over, is right now hubby doesn''t console Wes as well as I do. He CAN make him stop crying, but I THINK I can do it faster. So sometimes I just say I''ll go take care of him to get the job done faster. But like DD says, then hubby will never learn. But I look at hubby struggling and I feel so bad and want to help!

Anyhoo, baby is awake! I hope you''re feeling a little better today, Mandy
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