PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[taovandel]

Oh so sorry CDT

But at least you know that you are definitely okay with wanting a baby this early....

And you aren''t crazy for wanting a baby this soon. If you are then I''m certifiable since I wouldn''t mind one again and E is only 4 months!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Oh, CDT, I''m so sorry to hear that. ((hugs))

 

[steph72276]

CDT, oh I''m so sorry honey...take care of yourself.

Mara, can you get the mother''s milk tea at the reg. store or do you have to order it online?

 

[Blenheim]

CDT, I am so, so sorry. Lots of hugs.


We had breakfast today with my mom''s boyfriend''s daughter and her 14 month old (follow that?

), and it was great seeing the boys play together. The other boy kept giving George huge hugs and patting him on the head.

They also sat on the panio bench and "played" the panio together, and stole sippy cups back and forth. So cute.

I''m not convinced that I got AF after all (just heavier spotting for about 24 hours), and my body is just thoroughly confusing me now.

We ordered some John W Golden robot and ray gun prints after seeing the cute animal ones in Mandy''s nursery, and they came in yesterday. I got them framed and on the wall and damn they are cute. I also got a frame that has room for five 5x7 prints, and I''m going through G''s photos and picking out 0/3/6/9 month shots. I''m going to put a 12 month shot in when the time comes, and then we''ll have his first year that we can mount on the wall.

 

[snlee]

cdt, I''m so sorry. Take good care of yourself. Hope you get another BFP soon.

 

[Dreamer_D]

CDT I am very sorry. You were NOT crazy to want to be preggo so soon! Conception is a delicate balance and most pregnancies end in early losses before most people would have tested. I am not trying to minimize your loss, but if you want to keep trying right away, and nothing wrong with that, maybe leave the tests in the drawer for a looooong time

... sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing.

 

[AmberWaves]

Aw, CDT, so sorry.

 

[Mara]

steph it's the Traditional Medicinals organic brand from Whole Foods. it's called Mothers Milk Tea and it has fenugreek and some other herbs. i have heard it works for some people but not all but i have two friends who loved it so i figured why not.

cdt..sorry to hear the news, but at least you know you are ready mentally so just enjoy the time you do have solo with the first baby and your fam, and i'm sure the 2nd will be on it's way sooner than you expect!

so last nite J slept 6.5 hours again for the first stretch, and then almost 4 hours for the second stretch. also he seems to be falling into a routine of his own making so we are just going along with it. i'd rather have shades of a routine for him to latch onto for when we start his 'schedule' than making up stuff from scratch. he typically is not sleeping much from 10am to about 3pm and then he goes down for a 3 hour nap around then, and then back down to sleep at about 10pm (after a 1.5 hour bedtime routine, does it ever get shorter?!?!). i want to see if he sticks with this during the week too before getting too excited but we'll see.

Greg's mom and sis are visiting next weekend and his mom is staying for a whole week. i am excited for her to get some g'child time but it will be taxing to have a guest that long. she is staying 10 min away with my mom so thankfully we don't have an overnight guest (our house is just too small) for a week, but even though i get along great with his mom, it's just hard to have a guest all the time, esp with a new baby. but it will be great to have his family with us for a while and enjoy the baby.

here's a small irritant report... last nite we got home from dinner and the party and he was fussing, as is typical for right before bedtime since he's been 'up' for 3 hours or so. my mom was like 'why is he crying? i think he's hungry!'...and i was like well he prob is a little but he is prob just tired. 'ok well take him so you can feed him'... i was like mom i am not going to feed him IMMEDIATELY, i need to change and pee etc. he can wait 3 min, he won't perish. then it was 'well maybe he has gas, its not normal for babies to cry like that'... (mind you he was mostly fake crying!)...i was like OMG seriously, the kid is fine, he's just fussy. i love my mom to death and am so appreciative she loves taking care of him but what is with the g'parent gene that cannot resist acting like me as a parent don't know what the heck is going on with your own kid? i gave her this book called Granny Diaries on how to be a good g'parent (and not drive your daughter insane) and i wanted to ask 'do you need to read the book again?'. greg said i should ask her for a book report. ANYWAY vent over, but we changed and fed the kid and he went down like a champ so whatever. but yeah he def loves to fuss when he is not comatose from food or sleeping or being carried around. we just deal for now.

happy sunday all!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Claire ate at 6 p.m. last night, went to bed at 8 something, and didn''t wake up until 5:30 a.m. Unfortunately, I didn''t go to bed until 10:15 so I didn''t get to enjoy as long of a stretch as I could have (I was so exhausted yesterday that I kept napping after feeding her every cycle until after noon, so I don''t think I could have slept any earlier). But then we both went back to sleep until 7:45. But honestly, I''m still tired.

DH has taken Claire to the bike show and I have three hours to myself. I''m hoping to work out. I also have grading, but I''ve been chipping away at it all weekend, so I''m not in terrible shape. And then there''s the ever-present need to pump to make sure I have a head start on the week. I''ve got 4 and a quarter bottles -- hoping to make it 5 by tonight.

DH keeps saying he thinks I have postpartum depression. If you''re tired and stressed out because of trying to juggle a baby and work, is that officially PPD, or are you just tired and stressed out? I don''t feel off chemically or anything like that; I''m just (everybody all together now!) tired and stressed out.

We did talk again yesterday about him leaving so much. Yes, he''s super helpful when he''s here, but it''s almost like he thinks if he cooks me breakfast or takes care of Claire in the morning, then he has carte blanche to run off and leave me for several hours, especially if he "gave notice." He kept arguing that he told me that he such and such plans in advance, and I was like, yeah, but then I had a breakdown and was forced to stay home from work. That possibly wasn''t the best night to then hang out with your friend when you knew you''d have 4 big events over the weekend. And then the one thing he did cancel was his grandparents coming to visit. I''m glad he cut something, but it doesn''t seem like kindly old relatives should be it.

So I think we have more of an understanding now. Part of me thinks he doesn''t really think I have PPD because he''s so willing to run off to have fun; he only seems worried when I get upset with him and want to talk about it. Then it''s, "You must have PPD! You need to see the doctor!" when all I want is for him to be willing to stay home more if needed. As I told him, one feels much better being the gracious wife who encourages her husband do things even at her own inconvenience rather than the wife given no choice in the matter.

 

[gingerB]

cdt - i''m so sorry. hugs

mara - congrats on longer stretches of sleep! we had a couple of those, but are very wary that his is not something to count on, but trying to enjoy them when they come along

unfort my boobs wake me up sometimes even when he doesn''t, which i can''t complain about since i want the milk

==============================

took A on his first walk today, just around the neighborhood. he was so excited he zonked out a few minutes after we put him in the stroller and stayed passed out and unaware of the momentous occasion

. in other news, i can now think about using the bathroom without wanting to scratch my eyes out to distract me from the pain (TMI but i figured if anyone would understand it would be a newborn mommy forum

).

milk supply slowly increasing, but not quite keeping up with our little porker. right now i''m at a tiny surplus so he''s been on 100% expressed BM for almost 3 days now, but he is catching up and outpacing me. don''t know if i should be more consistent with formula supplementation until i can fully support him or if this occ slipping some formula in only when neccesary is ok? anyone?

i have an appt with an IBCLC on tuesday. gotta call my insurance to see what''s covered -- the appt itself is $150 and she wants me to rent a hospital grade pump and buy diff bottles. ouch. i''m a tiny bit wary about the other purchases as she own a breastfeeding/mat store. hopefully the consultation goes well. she''s pretty highly recommended. chinacat, i think you''ve seen her? any thoughts?

 

[phoenixgirl]

Ginger, that''s awesome about the surplus! Is the goal of the meeting with the LC to try latching on again? My SIL (the one who pumped for 40 minutes at a time) did produce a surplus with expressing milk, so I think that''s possible if you stick with it and try oatmeal, fenugreek, beer, mother''s milk tea, etc. But for days when you don''t quite produce that much, don''t beat yourself up -- I''ve read that a suckling baby can get up to an ounce more than the pump per feeding, so it seems natural that pumping wouldn''t quite measure up. If you have to give a little formula here and there, I don''t see what''s the harm. But maybe the hospital grade pump will make up the difference.

I''ve just got to say, I will be happy when all this pumping madness is behind me. I have to pump all weekend to have enough to EBF Claire while back at work, and I swear that pumping really takes a toll on your body. It has to, right -- i mean, your body has to use up all those calories to make the milk.

My afternoon went well -- went for a short run, went out to dinner with DH and Claire. Usually she just sits on our laps and doesn''t cry at all when we go out, but we had to get dessert to go (cheesecake!) and scoot out of there because she got fussy. But we seem to be eating out 2-3x a week now, and I''m happy! I know with an older baby or two kids this won''t be as easy, so I''m enjoying it while I can. We''re going less fancy schmancy places on average, but that''s ok because the bill is always cheaper than when we were child-free, and I''m just so grateful to be out of the house and have my cocktail or glass of wine!

 

[Mara]

ginger i can't really keep a surplus going with our oinker... but he's just not gaining a ton of weight. i feel like really he is sooo active (he is only still when he's sleeping) that he is burning off half of what he eats!! retain some fat kid! and as for supplementing with formula, we are only doing it when we feel he needs it now... per the pedi recommend. so like once a day we give him ~2oz of sensitive stomach formula with chamomile tea and the rest of the time it's breast milk in a bottle or on the boob. he's just such a lazy eater on the boob that with the bottle we know he's actually consuming the oz's he needs. my mom is also now OBSESSED with him getting enough food, she's convinced i am underfeeding him which will contribute to somehow him being LESS SMART later or something.

and yeah i am not getting my hopes up re: his crazy long stretches of sleep but we'll see. today he hardly napped at all (mostly short catnaps) though he did spend some time in his crib but we had two family sets of visitors so it's been a busy day. hopefully he'll be tired for tonite

PG...so nice you guys can go out for dinner! J is too unpredictable for us to try that now that he is more 'alert'...his only states are fussy, eating, and sleeping. so if he's not eating (which he won't be if i am eating!) and he's not sleeping then he'll be fussy and i don't want to subject anyone that is not related to that hahhaa. hopefully once he's a bit more alert but not fussy we can try it more. in the meantime greg gets us takeout or my mom comes to watch him so we can go out.

in random news, we are booking a 4 day vacation to Maui to see some friends get married in May. my mom will watch J. i know we'll miss him, i am already thinking about how much...but it will be our last opp to get out for a trip by ourselves before i go back to work so i know we should just do it. i am super excited about pool and sun time and the wedding with our friends...the last time we were ALL together like this was our wedding in Hawaii 6 years ago! i guess i'll have to bring my pump with me for the trip so i don't explode and i guess i'll also have to try to create a BM surplus for mom in the last weeks of April, yikes!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 2/28/2010 2:51:14 PM
Author: phoenixgirl
Claire ate at 6 p.m. last night, went to bed at 8 something, and didn''t wake up until 5:30 a.m. Unfortunately, I didn''t go to bed until 10:15 so I didn''t get to enjoy as long of a stretch as I could have (I was so exhausted yesterday that I kept napping after feeding her every cycle until after noon, so I don''t think I could have slept any earlier). But then we both went back to sleep until 7:45. But honestly, I''m still tired.

DH has taken Claire to the bike show and I have three hours to myself. I''m hoping to work out. I also have grading, but I''ve been chipping away at it all weekend, so I''m not in terrible shape. And then there''s the ever-present need to pump to make sure I have a head start on the week. I''ve got 4 and a quarter bottles -- hoping to make it 5 by tonight.

DH keeps saying he thinks I have postpartum depression. If you''re tired and stressed out because of trying to juggle a baby and work, is that officially PPD, or are you just tired and stressed out? I don''t feel off chemically or anything like that; I''m just (everybody all together now!) tired and stressed out.

We did talk again yesterday about him leaving so much. Yes, he''s super helpful when he''s here, but it''s almost like he thinks if he cooks me breakfast or takes care of Claire in the morning, then he has carte blanche to run off and leave me for several hours, especially if he ''gave notice.'' He kept arguing that he told me that he such and such plans in advance, and I was like, yeah, but then I had a breakdown and was forced to stay home from work. That possibly wasn''t the best night to then hang out with your friend when you knew you''d have 4 big events over the weekend. And then the one thing he did cancel was his grandparents coming to visit. I''m glad he cut something, but it doesn''t seem like kindly old relatives should be it.

So I think we have more of an understanding now. Part of me thinks he doesn''t really think I have PPD because he''s so willing to run off to have fun; he only seems worried when I get upset with him and want to talk about it. Then it''s, ''You must have PPD! You need to see the doctor!'' when all I want is for him to be willing to stay home more if needed. As I told him, one feels much better being the gracious wife who encourages her husband do things even at her own inconvenience rather than the wife given no choice in the matter.

PG - Honestly, I think your husband is being very unfair. It''s not just ''your'' baby, it''s his as well and he should be doing at least 50% of the looking after just because, not trying to get passes to go out. I would throw a total fit if my husband started playing that one - the exception being things for work as that puts a roof over our heads. Weekends I expect DH to spend with us as a family - I do pack him off to Sunday night poker as a treat every couple of weeks (we all went yesterday!).

Chances are that you are just tired and stressed out rather than PPD, but if your husband honestly thinks you have that then it''s even worse how he is behaving. My mental health team here sat DH down and explained exactly what would happen if I did get PPD and it would involve him taking over most of the childcare plus looking after me!

There have been two occasions that they thought I was developing PPD and increased my meds, looking back on those times I was exhausted, stressed, feeling that everything was relentless and turning into a big black hole, didn''t have the energy to do anything, the house was descending into chaos and I didn''t care, crying at the drop of a hat, not feeling overly interested in Daisy etc and I had to work hard to turn my feelings around.

 

[gingerB]

phoenix - yup, i have s tiny bit of hope that the BFing from the boob may still happen for us. i've tried puttinghim on the boob a few time at home on my own and he is willing to latch, but he does it wrong , then just chomps instead of suckling, but does get some milk. so currently he at the very least is not completely averse to the boob. i just feel like before i completely give in to exclusive pumping, i want to give the BFing from "the tap" a good go. that way at least I know that i really really did try. however i am worried about affecting supply because i have to say, every time i try to get him to latch and let him go for a bit, afterwards i'm in so much pain i can barely tolerate wearing a shirt, let alone pumping and have occ let a pump session go due to pain. i don't want my supply compromised. rock....hard place. i have to sya though, hearing abput your sister gives me hope that i can still EBF even if it's not straight from the source

mara - oh trust me, this surplus business is a fleeting thing. by my calculations, it's ending tonight. the only reason it happened is because due to some technicalities he had a couple of formula only feedings a few days ago and my pump sessions had a few really procuctive ones so ii was able to store a bit up. but our porker takes in 1-2 whle pump sessions per feeding, and i swear this kid is CONSTANTLY feeding. i really don't know where it all goes. supposedly at 2 weeks his stomach is the size of a walnut? ummm...can a walnut hold 5-6 oz guzzled in a span of 2 hours?! so for sure i knew the surplus business was ending. but it was a nice feeling while it lasted.

oh and so so jealous re: maui. right now i am really missing "couple time" with hubby. i still don't feel quite ready to leave A with anyone yet.

i know dureing pregnancy a lot of peeps reported feeling like their body no longer blenged to them. i feel more so of that now than i ever did while preggo. i have randome aches, pains and twinges that i'm like why the heck am i hurting there?! my digestive system is all out of whack, sometimes nauseous no appetite, other times ravenous. i'm thirsty like there is no tomorrow. my boobs dictate my sleep and today as i was prepping to pump, i hear a drip..drip..drip and look down to see milk just spontaneously falling out of my boobs. if i don't pump in time or if i play with the kiddo anywhere near pump time, my shirt becomes soaked. oh and after i let A latch on for a bit between pump sessions, afterwards i was dripping so much i tried hand expressing and it worked for the first time. that was so freaky to me seeing myself milking myself

somehow that was weirder than my pumping contraption.

oh and A is starting to coo more. i swear it is the cutest darn thing ever. oh except when he accidentally laughs. he does this serendipitous open mouthed grin with several quick breaths out that coordinates into something like a laugh. i can't wait until the real thing happens. there is nothing sweeter than hearing a baby laugh

except hearing our own baby laugh

ETA: obviously i'm posting at 3 AM during a pump session. i just finished and just had to post because i'm excited. i got 5 oz!!!

wheee! most likely this is because i skipped a pump earlier due to letting A bf at that session but it feels really good to see a full bottle anyway

and to know these IBTs can hold at least that much

 

[Blenheim]

PG - I''m not saying this is what''s going on, but I can''t help but wonder if he almost subconsciously wants it to be PPD so that your frustration and unhappiness with everything not his fault but yours (not that PPD would be your fault by any means, but hopefully you get what I mean).

 

[steph72276]

Good Monday morning all. I''m off to take Andrew to school, but thought I would post this pic from my phone really quick since I didn''t post one on Friday. They love to spend quality time together in the morning!!

 

[Sha]

cdt - I'm sorry to hear about the bleeding.

How disappointing... I hope you and your DH are able to conceive again pretty soon.

Mara - looks like you have a great routine going with Julian already. How wonderful that he sleeps so well already! I think I should have started my little one on a routine from early on, too. She still wakes up every 2-3 hours in the night for feeding.

My mother is like yours. Whenever Dalila cries, she says, "I don't remember you children being so fussy when you were younger.... Are you sure she doesn't need some solid food by now?" etc. etc. I think our mothers forget exactly what it was like when they were new moms...they go into Granny mode once their chidlren have babies.

PG - I agree with Blenheim that maybe your DH may subconsciously want your irritability to be PPD - so that he doesn't have to acknowledge that his going-outs are an issue, or work on resolving it. It doesn't sound like you have PPD to me. Have you looked at a symptom checklist online?

ginger - sorry to hear about the weird body experiences since becoming pregnant. I hear you on the leaking breasts.... that still freaks me out. It's like a faucet sometimes! One time I went grocery shopping and forget my nursing pads. When I reached to the check-out counter and reached down in my bag to get my purse, I noticed two huge round wet circles on my shirt - one for both breasts!

It was very noticeable too....

I'm sure some people were wondering what was going on.

steph - cute pic! The boys seem to be bonding so nicely.

**************

Thanks for the comments on that pic of Dalila, everyone. Her expressions really crack me up.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

CDT, I''m so sorry. I don''t think you guys were crazy either for wanting another baby.

Mara, I sympathize with you on the mom stuff. My mom is pretty good about letting me parent, but MIL is sometimes enough to drive me crazy because she''s a nervous nelly about EVERYTHING. SO and I have helped raise 8 other kids before Ben, so I''m fairly sure that Ben will survive us.

for the good sleeping, too!

As for J''s weight, it''s possible that he''s going to be a very active baby that simply doesn''t gain a lot of weight really fast. I like this article from Dr. Jay Gordon; he talks about looking at the overall picture instead of only the baby''s weight gain.

Your trip sounds like so much fun! I''ve been feeling this need to get away lately. I think it''s the weather that''s doing it -- it''s been so cold here for so long that it makes me want to take off for a weekend to a place where I can sit in the sunshine and relax. If you can, I''d start pumping to build up the stash for your mom a bit earlier so there''s not so much pressure. I''d definitely take the pump, too, if you want to continue nursing after your trip because 4 days without nursing or pumping will kill your supply and will be *very* uncomfortable for you -- I don''t think ending up with mastitis would add much fun to your vacation.

PG, I don''t think being tired and stressed constitutes PPD. It would be a far different story if you weren''t taking care of Claire or getting up to go to work. Being tired and stressed is just the life of a new mom. I hope that you two will be able to find a happy balance that allows your DH to have some "away" time as well as take care of his parenting duties. When Claire is older, he will probably regret not being around more when she was a baby. With your first, it''s easy to be so anxious for the baby to do the next thing that you forget to appreciate what''s going on now.

My ex was really bad about this stuff and it led to a lot of resentment for me. It was if we had kids and they automatically became my responsibility, but not his. His life didn''t change at all -- he felt free to go do whatever while I felt like I had to ask to even be able to go to the bathroom by myself (or otherwise, I''d be in there with a kid or two!). It seems like this is a fairly common thing for guys, but they are capable of changing if they want and being more of a parenting partner.

Ginger, that''s great that your supply is increasing! IMHO, supplementing whenever you need to is fine; I don''t think you necessarily have to schedule it. This is just my gut instinct, though, and it''s sort of what we''re doing with Ben. When we have an evening where he wants to nurse constantly and then won''t settle, SO will give him a bottle of BM and I''ll pump for 10-15 minutes. I pump pretty much every morning because since Ben has settled into sleeping 5-6 hours each night, I wake up engorged like mad so this allows me to have milk in the fridge that I can either give Ben later or throw in the freezer.

I''ll be interested to hear what the LC says tomorrow. I know the appointments are expensive and a lot of insurances don''t cover them, but I think they''re worth it if they help you.

I do wonder what bottles she wants you to buy. What kind are you using now? I would think that she would suggest alternate feeding methods such as a syringe, cup or even SNS/Lact-Aid.

Oh, I just saw your latest post - wow, for 5 oz! That''s awesome! I wonder if he really needs 5-6 oz. in 2 hours because that really seems like a lot. Have you tried backing off a bit and offering a pacifier? I''m loathe to throw a paci in too quickly, but some babies have a huge need to suck so a paci is perfect. I hate to see you working so hard to increase your supply when it''s possible your supply is just fine and A is simply taking in more than he needs.

It''s GREAT that you were leaking when you started to pump because that means that your body is trained to let down for the pump! A lot of women can''t pump for anything because they don''t respond.


====

Where did the weekend go??? It seems like it flew by way too fast because we were so busy. Saturday we did housework and ran errands, and then yesterday we drove up to SO''s sister''s house near DC. Our nieces have been really anxious to see Ben so we were glad to be able to go then, but it was a long day. It normally takes 2 hours to get there, but it took us almost FOUR because SO decided to go the back way, then Will''s pull up leaked and I didn''t pack any extra clothes for him (because he hasn''t had diaper leaking issues in forever!) so we had to stop at Target where I bought him new pants. Then Ben wanted to eat, so we stopped for lunch so I could feed him. We didn''t get home until 11 last night because we all went out to dinner and then on the way home we had to stop so I could feed Ben. I was a bit worried because he was fed on more of a schedule yesterday than we have when we''re at home so I expected him to want to nurse all night to make up for it, but he didn''t!

I fed him when we got home then he was wide awake for a while. I was exhausted so at 12:15, I took him to bed and nursed him, thinking that would knock him out...but no. He did his usual fussing that he does before he falls dead asleep. I couldn''t settle him, so SO took him to rock him and I lay down...and was OUT. I don''t have any clue when they came to bed. All I know is that Ben woke about 6 and wanted to nurse, so I fed him and then got up. I could have used a little bit more sleep, but I can''t complain about 5 hours of unbroken sleep.

Friday we had to run to the midwife''s so she weighed Ben and he''s up to 7 lb., which is about a 3 oz. per week weight gain. This might not be acceptable to some doctors, but we''re ok with it because 1) we don''t know what his lowest weight was (the last weight we have for him was 6 lb. 4 oz.) and 2) it''s likely he wasn''t gaining much in the first 2 weeks, indicated by the lazy nursing and green poops. We didn''t check his length, but I''m sure that he has grown lengthwise, so that''s another positive.

I *think* that we might have gotten over the hump on the nursing issues. Ben''s poop for the last week has been the usual brown/yellow color instead of green. I''ve been doing a combo of block feeding, pumping and giving BM in bottles. I don''t have any set schedule, but basically what I do is pump if I feel engorged and then encourage Ben to nurse. I think this is helping him get more hindmilk which is leading to the brown/yellow poops. If Ben still acts hungry after nursing (usually in the evenings), I''ll have SO give him a bottle with 1.5 oz. BM while I pump during that time.

Late last week, I put 9 oz. of BM in the freezer and I still have another 9 oz. in the fridge, so the pumping is also helping with the freezer stash. I''m concerned that I''m going to get sent off for training and not have enough BM saved up. If I go for 4 days, I need 120 oz. to be safe. Hah, I have 12 oz. in the freezer so far and need 10 times that. No pressure here!

 

[vizsla]

quick drive by---

CDT - ((hugs)) i'm so sorry

re: husbands... i can empathize with PG. mine is a little more tricky in his 'hands off' approach. he knows i cherish every second with charlie so he says he 'lets' me handle things when i'm home b/c he knows i want to spend time with c. which, in turn, makes me feel guilty when i need a second.

THEN other times i get really ticked at DH b/c i feel like he doesn't understand the importance of the mother/child bond. he thinks that as long as he is with C then i don't need to be (and i feel like this vessel who just popped out a baby for DH and that's all i was needed for). DH doesn't have a super great relationship with his mom - but is really close to his dad. and it bothers me that he doesn't seem to 'get' the significance of a mother and her baby - or doesn't recognize its importance. it's all so twisted.

i know a lot of it boils down to harboring resentment at him for our situation and feeling the weight of the family's success lies on my shoulders. and DH gets all of this time with C and is still free to do what he wants etc. not that our success should only lie on DH, but 50/50 would be nice.
ugh, DH and i are so not getting along.... need to work on that too... sleep would help.

gawd that was a rambling mess of crap.

until i can get my head clear maybe i should stop posting

here is my little heart breaker

ETA: PG i don't think we are friends on FB

shed a tear... will someone forward me as a friend to her

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Oh, Viz, Charlie is DARLING. I love his little smile!

I forgot to mention a couple of things earlier...

1. I''m friends with no one from here on FB, but would love to be. I just don''t know how to since I don''t know anyone''s full names. Is there a way to put my info out there so people can add me?

2. I have a good confession I should have posted on Friday. If I weren''t committed to nursing Ben as long as he wants and if I weren''t so dang old, I wouldn''t hesistate to have another child. That''s pure crazy talk, isn''t it? I count my blessings every day that I have six healthy kids so I think it''s best if we don''t tempt fate. However, I am once again realizing how much I love having kids around, even when it''s utter chaos. Part of it has to do with SO -- he is such a good father and partner that he makes my job so much easier. When he got up this morning, I found out that Ben was up and down until 4 a.m. and SO didn''t wake me at all to take over. Why? He said because he couldn''t see the point in both of us being up. Of course, I think that Ben probably would have settled if I fed him again and I feel awful that SO wasn''t able to do the work he wanted to get done, but this is the type of thing that makes me adore this man.

There was a #3, but I can''t remember what it was for the life of me.

 

[vizsla]

RPS - can your SO give mine a few pointers?

also, amber was the one who forwarded me all of my PS friends.. maybe she can work her FB magic on you

ok, so i realize i sound like a whiny brat in my earlier post re: DH.
this is our first babe and there is a learning curve for both of us buuuuuuut a selfish part of me hoped that DH would intrinsically know how to recognize the mother/child relationship and not ''pish posh'' it - treating it like any other relationship and not the special one that it is.

am i crazy/selfish thinking that it takes precedence? not that i get all of the say w/c, just that it''s special and should be recognized as such?

 

[cdt1101]

Thanks everyone.

I''m ok, just want to put this behind me, but AF still hasn''t shown up, so it''s a waiting game I guess. I''m still getting SUPER SUPER SUPER faint positives, there is almost no line, but still something. I just hope this doesn''t drag out!

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Date: 3/1/2010 11:20:08 AM
Author: vizsla
RPS - can your SO give mine a few pointers?

Viz, I wouldn''t recommend that your DH arrive at this behavior the way that SO did! He''s always been a really good and involved dad, but part of the reason he is so deeply involved now is because his ex did all kinds of nasty stuff to turn his older kids against him. I know that every day he thinks about his older kids and wonders what he could have done differently so they would be as close to him now as my kids and our boys are.

Does your DH stay home during the day with C? I''m afraid I can''t remember what the situation is, so ignore this if that''s not the case!

I think you''re feeling the way that dads have felt for years -- like you go to work each day to provide for everyone while you''re missing out on the everyday stuff that C does (which your DH gets to see). I also think this might have more to do with the pressure to support your family than your DH''s behavior. If you take a step back, you''d probably agree that it''s much better for C to be with your DH than a babysitter, right?

What does your DH do that makes you think he doesn''t see your relationship with C as important?

It sounds like a really hard situation.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Just de-lurking to say that ***KIMI*** and J welcomed a beautiful healthy baby girl into their lives!!! 5 lbs, 8 oz, 18.3 inches.

No internet becuase they are moving tomorrow, but hopefully Kimi will be back soon with pics of the little princess!!!

 

[meresal]

Hi ladies...

I have a question, and was hoping you could give me some insight? Is it necessary to have a rocker or glider in the nursery or would a comfortable stationary chair work fine?

We found one at Ikea that we love. The seat isn''t deep, both DH and I can get out of it without using the armrests (no hands

), and it is very very comfortable. But... it''s not a glider.

Here is a picture of the chair, and they have a matching ottoman:

 

[E B]

Don''t have a lot of catch-up time today, but I''ll try to do this page.

First, cdt...I''m so sorry.

phoenix- Sounds like you''re just tired and stressed out. I''m sorry.

I hope your husband takes on some more baby duty. We need to have a good amount of time to ourselves in order to be happy, healthy, functioning moms.

Mara- Maui? SO jealous. Have something fruity for me on the beach.

gingerB- I went through the same thing postpartum. My body felt all out of whack everywhere. It gets better pretty soon, I promise!

vizsla- Look at his little face! He''s such a beautiful baby. I wish I had some advice for you about the home stuff, but I can offer some support and e-hugs.

RPS- Yay for clearing the nursing hump! And your SO sounds wonderful.

The past month or so, I''ve been trying to encourage Henry to crawl, but he''d just drop his head and wail on his stomach after a minute or so. I figured since he had little interest, he might be a late crawler like my husband and I were...but just yesterday and today, he''s started to scoot! He''s slowly but surely learning how! Luckily, we caught it on film. The new home we''re moving to has carpet in the bedrooms, and I never thought I''d say it (since I love the look of hardwood floors), but I''m happy about it. It''s a pain trying to keep him on a padded quilt in the middle of the floor to minimize the head bumps.

Oh, and we''ve hit a serious teething rough patch lately. He''s drooling everywhere and in pain. He''ll throw his little head back dramatically and wail, and only nursing (with a side of teething tabs!) calms him. Not to mention we''re also dealing with separation anxiety, so the two combined keeps him wanting to be held most of the time. He doesn''t even want to play on the floor much anymore unless I''m right there- he wants to be pressed up against me. If he''s not, he''s reaching for my feet and pulling at my pant legs.

I know a few of you are dealing with separation anxiety as well, and I empathize!

 

[vizsla]

mer - i''d say a rocker is *very very* nice to have - and babies do LOVE the rocking motion. however, i found myself sitting and rocking or standing and rocking more than i did "actual" rocking when charlie was little. but i can also see where our little rocker will be super nice when he is older and we rock and read bedtime stories.
p.s. i asked DH to retro-fit that exact chair into a rocker for me

thanks RPS - i hate that i feel this way, and i''m so stubborn that i have a hard time letting things go. DH is home with charlie 2 days a week and he is in daycare the other 3 days. so yeah, i feel resentful when DH will ''complain'' about a hard day with c etc. i tell him he doesn''t get to complain to me b/c i would trade him in a heartbeat! then he will say things to charlie about when he is older and how it will be 2 against 1 etc. on one hand i love that they are going to have this great bond bbbuuuutttttt don''t think that 2 against 1 is healthy either, ya know? just because C is a boy does not mean that DH ''knows'' best. i want DH to teach him how to respect and love his mom, not ''gang up'' on me. i''m just so annoyed with him and his parents and work and everything .... its just compounding into a giant poostorm. bleh... i''m even annoyed with myself... .and i''m sure you are all annoyed with my whining too.

ebree- thanks and hugs back at cha girl!

oh, rps.. i don''t think you are crazy for wanting more kids... i miss being preggo and having charlie all to myself

cdt- so maybe?????

will you go to the OB to know for sure????

 

[Mara]

five weeks into it i think anyone wanting another is a little wee bit crazy, is that my monday confession? hehee. i honestly am in awe of anyone who can do multiples or have another one so soon. i know people 'just do' whatever is necessary but wow i think i am way too not cut out for multiple children. don't quote me later.

sha lol re: the mom ... .they sound related. yesterday she was like 'when do you start him on solids?'...i was like mom he is 5 weeks! and i was saying that starting him on solids at 6 months seems intimidating and she said oh you start them with cereal in their formula and i was like MOM did you read your book? that's not necessarily true anymore. and she was like SIX MONTHS and no solids? she was appalled.

also i had to counsel her again on not overfeeding him while we are gone because she is like 'you need to leave me more milk'...well it's in the FRIDGE but i told her not to be tapping my supply because i ration it. so god forbid she figures out how to mix formula with the tea because i think suddenly J will be like 500 lbs when we come home one night. anyway, it def is the grandma gene that thinks 'food fixes everything'.

sorry to hear about your hub's viz and pg. i think it's hard for the men to understand what 'moms' go through and even though the men probably try to be really helpful in their own way, sometimes you have to remind them what you NEED even if you don't want to. i totally am guilty sometimes of the 'aren't you reading my mind?' thing. i don't think just instinctively knows how to do anything or when i want him to help me. he keeps telling me that i have to ask for extra help if i need it. he is a huge help already in that he takes care of diapering on the wkds, he does the early AM feeding and he does ALL the cleaning in the kitchen which includes cleaning and sterilizing all the bottles, pump stuff etc. and he goes out to getfood for us pretty much every night. but sometimes i am resentful that i am the only one with the magic boob and/or because i am, sometimes the kid won't be easily soothed by me but is more eaisily soothed by him. he is GREAT at soothing him when i can't. also most of the time if i feel a certain way i chalk it up to hormones.

IMO keep speaking up to your hubs about what you want from them because men want to help but most don't know HOW. and i think that moms act and look so capable sometimes to their husbands they just assume everything is great unless you tell them. ideally don't wait til it gets to the super irritated 'tell them off' which i am guilty of sometimes for sure.

so J is starting his 5th week and he is def the most fussy he's been. in HSHHC it notes 5 and 6 weeks are the worst for fussiness, welp we are def in there!! he wants to be held most of the time and even if i hold him sometimes it doesn't guarantee no fussing. he is only happy when eating or sleeping really. his alert times are lengthening but even those are accompanied but a lot of fussing because i think he gets overstimulated. and he totally fights his naps now...it's crazy how hard this kid will try not to sleep during the day!! right now he's in his crib and he's been crying for 10 min. i know he is super tired and i was soothing him and put him in and boom he wakes up. so in a sec i'll go back and try again.

oh and ginger actually in our LC visit they told us at day 3-4 the baby's stomach was the size of a golf ball and showed us some diagrams. so the walnut/teaspoon thing is only the first few days. it apparently doubles like every day during the first week or something. i remind myself of this when J is packing away 4oz every feeding...i am like where is this weight gain? jeez kid! and RPS yeah he might just be a lean kid. he doesnt look SMALL to us as in puny, he's got a few leg rolls and he looks super healthy, but he just isn't ginormous. funny since we are both not tiny people and are both tall and pretty muscular.

ginger..also re: the bf'ing... i feel way more like my body is my own than when preggo, but i also don't love the bf'ing stuff that happens. the leaking, the pain in the boobs, the 'slave' to the pump or the kid's mouth. but at least my belly is my own and i can roll over in bed and sleep on my back lol and i don't have crazy heartburn.

oh and re: maui, i am very excited but we def would not be going if it wasn't a good friend's wedding. but i secretly am happy it is happening like that because i think otherwise we'd talk ourselves out of a trip. now if i can get my hips back into shape before may i'd be ecstatic. onepiece here i come.

anyway off to pick up the crier. my mom is coming at 3pm to watch him while i go to the gym for the first time in months. i am excited and feeling lazy at the same time.

 

[Shoopy]

Quick drive-by

CDT-So sorry hun, keeping you in my thoughts!

Kim-Congratulations

Mere-I LOVE my glider. Love it. We didn''t purchase it, my mother got it for me as a gift. I use it for everything. When she''s being fussy, I sit in it with her and look out the window, read books to her, when I need to rock her that''s where we sit. Sometimes when it''s time for a nap, I''ll give her a bottle there so that it puts her in the mood to sleep. LOVE IT! Definitely not a "need" but I''m glad I have it.

Sophia is 8 months old today

. We took her to the pedi to check her eyes but the pedi says its just the way her nose is. She is still going to give me a referral to a specialist because she feels kids are never too young to have a vision check but she did her tests and doesn''t see a problem. We''ll see what the specialist says.

Here are some pics yesterday while at the park. Check out her new ride

. We bought the Maclaren Triumph as her umbrella stroller. So far I like it but I''m not in love with it. I want to see how she naps in it and then decide whether we want to keep it or exchange.

 

[so cal girl]

Oh my gosh Fiery, Sophia is so stinkin'' cute!!!