PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Blenheim]

George decided at 4:30 that it was time to get up for the day. We eventually got him back to sleep (5:30 or so?), slept in longer than usual because we were all so tired, and then we were later getting to this job fair than we planned on and we were turned away as the line was already so long that they were going to be at capacity until they closed.

So DH and I took advantage of having a baby sitter by having an impromptu lunch date.

Amber - that is AWESOME! Definitely one for the baby books.

Mara - if it makes you feel better, George has never been happy sitting around as a lump.

He wanted to be in arms and got bored very easily, which meant a lot of walks (even just around the house at times).

China - ugh, sorry about the mastitis.

RPS - I''ve heard that it''s pregnancy and not BFing that does a number on the boobs, but I''ve been questioning that lately as George likes to latch on and then try to look away from me (and do all sorts of acrobatics) while still latched on, and that just can''t be good for the girls. But that makes sense as to why pregnancy is also not so good for them... it might make me feel a tad better.

 

[qtiekiki]

Thank you for the boys clothes suggestions. We have Baby Gap, ON, Gymboree, Crazy 8, Children''s Place, Janie and Jack and Pumpkin Patch in the mall by our house. So I do shop or at least browse at those stores regularly. I forgot about H&M since you can''t shop online for them. I''ll have to look into the other brands that were suggested.

Viz
I agree with you on too much blue. I like blue, but not really the baby blue that''s everywhere.

Mandarine
You mean a tutu like this. hehe.

And I just want to say thanks for letting me pop in and out with random questions and responses. I just don''t have time to read all the different threads regularly.

All the babies are so cute. Love BPF.

 

[fieryred33143]

QT I love that invitation and Meena is adorable

LOVE it!

Do you have pics of how you decorated? We''re thinking of a ladybug theme for DD''s first birthday but we''re torn.

 

[sunkist]

Mara - i know,i hated the routine of put them down to sleep, they sleep for ten mins and wake up. Its hard to remember right now, but at some point maybe 10weeks I realized he needed to go down earlier than I was helping him do. So I watched for the first sign of crankiness to start soothing him to sleep and I was surprised it came after only 60 mins of awake time, cause I was thinking more 1hr30mins. But when I layed him back in my arms and gave him the paci he was drowsy! So we then started a 1hr awake, 1 hr sleep routine, all led by the baby but assisted by me

Just now he''s starting to nap longer, even though its nap, eat, nap immediately again. Seems weird but it works!

 

[fieryred33143]

Mara-Re: the sleep. My honest opinion is that he''s still too young to be on a nap schedule and too young to self-soothe (ie CIO). I''ve said before that survival is key in those first months and habits aren''t picked up until much later. I say this because I just want you to know that you aren''t doing anything wrong and that while J may be a little fussier than Sophia was at his age, it''s not because of anything that you may or may not be doing. I also mention this because I''ve been there. I''ve been in a position where I pick up all the books, follow the schedule exactly as it says, put her down to sleep thinking tonight will be the night and 1 hour later she was awake which would leave me crying, frustrated, and disappointed. Those books and thoughts are awesome...when they work. But when it doesn''t, it''s like a punch in the gut. He will regulate himself and a schedule will emerge soon, especially if you are really committed to setting a routine as you are now. That was one of my regrets. I did not do a routine from the beginning and it took us longer to figure it all out so I think it''s great you are working on that now. I kept focusing on schedules and times and doing anything I could to get her to fall asleep according to the outline and as a result, poor Sophia got a different routine every night which was confusing to her.

Natalina-So sorry for your loss

 

[Pandora II]

Quick one here from me as it''s past midnight...

RPS - Thanks for the idea of a nursing vacation... did just that and it worked a treat!

Underwired bras - er, I never stopped wearing mine either when I was preggo or since. Just couldn''t get comfy in the other ones, so far no blocked ducts, no engorgement, no mastitis (have now jinxed myself and will get all 3 next week!)

China - Sorry about the mastitis, hope you feel better soon!

Viz - have you tried my quack cough remedy (patent pending

)? Rub infant vapo-rub on his feet at night and pop some socks on. My pharmacist suggested it and I tried it twice with D and it worked. I mentioned it in DD''s thread and someone else had a go and it worked. Want to be the third guinea-pig in my ''clinical trials''?

Took Daisy to a first birthday party yesterday and she loved it, off playing with the toys and other children like I didn''t exist! Then this morning at Nutters and Toddlers she refused to move from my knee...

Today we bought her first pair of shoes - she''s standing well without support and trying to take steps, but I did feel a bit sad putting my baby in big girl shoes.

I took her to see a number of people about her feet as she has the very high arches I have, plus I had Severs Disease as a child which causes flake fractures in your heels. It''s very painful and very limiting - I spent 2 years in and out of plaster casts, so I''d like to spare her that if I can (it''s very strongly genetic and she already has my feet). My physio''s advice was to get her into shoes as soon as she started nearly walking rather than too much barefoot time (I didn''t own a pair of shoes till I was 8, so bare feet won''t help her) and then start special exercises when she''s walking ''properly'' as in not a toddler-type walk. Fingers crossed it works as it made me so miserable not being able to do any sport or play with my friends properly at school.

ALL the shoes were pink

, so we have pale pink ''First Walkers'' with darker pink bits and a big pink Daisy on them. I bought Start Rite which is a really good make of children''s shoes so I trust them to be good for her feet, but they cost £22

... the girl did spend nearly an hour with us getting a pair that really fitted well so I hope they last the whole 8 weeks or whatever they are supposed to!

Added a new word today - Bye Bye pronounced as Aye Aye

. There was Mama as well, but only once so I don''t know if it was a happy ''sound coincidence'' or not. I''m really enjoying the fun of finding words for her to try - not that she''s very keen to copy... just looks at me like I''m a complete imbecile.

I was talking to my sister who is a speech therapist and she was filling me in on good words to start them on - bubbles, bed etc. She also suggested doing some Signing - which apparently doesn''t slow spoken verbal skills down at all, but actually increases them.

 

[taovandel]

We decided to hold off a bit longer on the whole solid food thing. He did pretty well with it---but he''s been fussy for about a week now (before the solids started) and just didn''t think that throwing in something new right now would help the situation.

Q: Oh my that invitation is soo cute! I want a girl now..haha.

Mandy: I know you had problems with the boys eating when they were around 4 months. Evan is kinda going through that right now. At Daycare he would always eat 3 times while he was there and it wouldn''t normally be 5-6 oz. He now only eats 2 times and it''s for the same amount of formula. I know it''s normal to start stretching out the eating times (He''s at about 4 hours now from 3 hours)...but I thought that would occur if he was eating more.

I think this is one of the reasons he keeps waking up so often at night....because at night he will gulp down some bottles (8 oz and then 6 oz.) whereas before he would only take like 4 oz at night and sleep for the rest of the night.....

Did the boys eventually just figure it out and eat more during the day or are you still struggling with them (Please say you aren''t...you will give me hope that this will eventually end!)

 

[Mara]

LOL RPS at the growling...! that is too cute!! and i hear you re the fuss today, J has been outta control on the fuss...way more screaming than just his general fussing.

Sabine...we DO let him in the crib or bassinet to cry if it's the 2nd or 3rd time we've put him down and he's not having any of it...esp if i know he is really tired. if he is fed and changed, and walking him around or rocking isn't helping, letting him cry for 10-15 min typically does the trick. also our pedi suggested it at our last visit for when he is sleep resistant. but anytime i put him down today he has woken up within 10 min, which is odd for him.

oh and i'd love if sleeping more made him more pleasant! even the long hours he sleeps at night doesn't make him pleasant for long in the morning...my little crab.

re: napping, normally he takes two ~2-3 hour naps during the day, and sometimes a 45min-1hour nap like in the swing, and then goes to bed at 9:30-10 and sleeps about 9-10 hours there. from what i read at his age, babies should be sleeping between 15-17 hours a day so it seems like he is doing ok with sleeping. i would love for him to sleep more than that, but that seems to be the max i can get out of him.

sunkist... i actually tried today to be really perceptive re: his signs, i fed him this morning and put him next to me and he was just checking stuff out and quiet for about 30 min. then he started waving arms and legs more and making more noise (but not crying), so i started soothing him at that point. and he WAS tired and receptive, but 10 min after i put him down he was crying. which is not unusual but what WAS unusual was that every time i redid the routine he still woke up. usually 2nd or 3rd time he goes down ok.

fiery...i appreciate your comments... i totally hear you re: the books and expectations. it IS nice to think 'wow this might be the magic trick' but honestly i don't have too many expectations from him right now....i know he IS still young. i know we are super lucky he sleep as much as he does at night, so i am big time thankful. but i was reading the book and it says 7-8 weeks is a good time to start for nap scheduling, so i figure well lets try it and just SEE. i didn't expect it to be EASY but i love experiments.

BUT today i have been really surprised at how nap resistant he is, i feel like something is really bothering him. i finally got him to nap (after more food and 2 more tries) in the carseat in the crib...i think it might be this reflux thing (i am reading about it now)...it might not be severe but he sounds like he has liquid in his throat, he is swallowing all the time and coughing too. the carseat is on an incline and has the snuzzler so it is keeping him more upright and he's been in there for almost an hour now. i think we'll get him an incline sleep positioner, but i also emailed our pedi to ask if she has any other suggestions for us.

either THAT or he's just doing the 6 week 'extra' fuss...in which case, wow our kid really has amazing fussing capabilities!! he's like an olympic fusser. but so cute when sleeping.

blen...he loves when we walk him around the house but the funny thing is he is obsessed with the drapes behind the couch. he just stares at them for most of his wakeful time hahaa oh and dont you love when the kid is on the boob and they decide to pass out with their head to the side or look away? it's like OW don't take my nipple with you.

QT that is the cutest invitation!! love it.

someone else asked about leaking and yes i HATE it...!!! talk about feeling like a cow!

 

[Mara]

so funny, so i emailed the pedi to ask about the reflux and suggestions...i didn''t specify that we had him in his car seat in the crib for sleep and it seemed to help. she just responded and said to put him in his car seat after feedings for up to an hour hahaa..and also i suggested i wanted to try gripe water and she said yes. then we''ll see on thurs how things are going. anyway just kind of funny re: the car seat since i was just standing there in his room rocking him and saw the car seat and thought well maybe the incline will help him. DOH. mom finally does something right!

small victories.

 

[steph72276]

I am with those of you experiencing fussiness today! E was up all night...from 1-5am. He wasn''t fussy, just wanted to eat and then stay wide awake and look around! Then today he has been worn out from partying all night, so he pretty much slept all day...when I did try to keep him awake he was grumpy! So tonight I''m sure is going to be fun....ahhh, can''t wait until he starts sleeping well! Hope everyone has had a better day than me!

ETA: QT, she is SOOO CUTE! Love that invite!

 

[Mandarine]

Qti If it wasn''t because my ears are still ringing from all the screaming I have heard all day, that picture would totally make me want to go try for a girl RIGHT NOW!!!!! haha. I love tutus! I wodner if the boys would mind if we play dress up!...hehe. She''s just absolutely ADORABLE!!!!

Mara I kept the boys at an incline for the first two months....I didn''t buy anything fancy, just placed two thick books under two legs of the crib! That was enough and a cheap solution!.

Natalina I''m really sorry for your loss

Tao I still have my boys on a 3 hour schedule....They were doing great until the shots!...taking 6-8oz at every feeding. They do have their moments when they refuse to eat...and that usually lasts a couple of days, then they go back to normal (weird fellas!). Now they are doing it and it''s either the shots or teething. So hang in there, I am sure he will go back to normal. I was always stressing out about it and then one day I decided not to fight it...if they didn''t want to eat, then they just didn''t. Tonight Alex didn''t want his dinner, so I put him in bed at 7pm (like I always do)...he then woke up at 8pm to eat!. So try not to stress out...they will eventually eat...and as long as he''s growing well, then try not to worry

I did read that is better to keep them on a 3hour schedule during the day so that they eat more. Sound like now he wants to eat more at night...so maybe he''s having some day/night confusion?. I would try to add a feeding during the day to see if he cuts back down on the night feedings. I would also try to cut down on the night bottles (little by little)...so if he at 6oz and 8oz today, tomorrow give him 5oz and 7oz for a couple of days, then cut it by another oz the next day, etc.....so that he takes those calories during the day.

I hope that helps!


Steph My Dr told me that during the day, all you really needed to do was disrupt his sleep...even if they don''t actually wake up. Change his diaper, tickle his feet, etc....so that they are not in DEEP sleep. My day wasn''t goo either, so I feel your pain!!!

***

I don''t wnat to sound like a whiner...but I need to WHINE!!!... God, they are wearing me OUT!. They don''t cry...they SCREAM like really scream. It''s not humane to the people (me) around them!. I think I have cried a little every day...not because I feel bad for them (although I know something must be bothering them!) but because I feel so helpless...and I''m just tired of this last week. It''s been one of the toughest weeks I have had with them. I obviously do feel bad for them...but I guess now I''m to the point that I just need them to stop screaming before I lose my mind.

Ok, whine over. I really really really hope they get over this quickly. I''m terrified now for the 6-month shots. Tomorrow is one week since they got the shots...how much longer can it take??

Ok, now really I mean it. Whine over!

Off to bed! Good night gals!

 

[sunkist]

Dog ate Wesley''s pacifier

 

[gingerB]

ok. add me to the list of moms with extra fussy babies today. my calm awake alert little angel got replaced by fussy mcfussenstein and hubbs and i are exhausted. he didn''t nap much at all yesterday, and i can tell he''s tired, but he''s been fighting and fighting his naps all day. where as before he was going down for 3-4 1-2 hour naps a day, the past 2 days we''re lucky if he does 30 min. all he seems to want to do is eat and eat and eat. is there a 3 week growth spurt? seriously though, thank goodness for HBOTB as it''s the only thing that has worked to soothe him enough to calm him for sleep.

qt - soooooo cute! love lady bugs and love tutus!

pandora - that''s so exciting re: daisy starting to speak! when does your sister recommend starting signing?

rps - A does the same thing. all through his sleep he''s grunting, growling, half crying and it startles ME out of sleep, but i check and he''s still passed out.

mara - so jealous of getting 3-4 oz out of ONE boob. the most of done out of one side is 2.5 oz. i wonder of these IBTs can hold more than that at a time

.

chinacat - yucko re: the mastitis. glad it got caught on the early side!!

mandy - whina all youwant, you are a superwoman to not whine MORE in my opinion. i don''t know if i could handle what you handle as gracefully as you do.

sunkist - boo re: the paci.

 

[sunkist]

Mandy, I''m sorry the boys aren''t giving you a break from their screaming

Have you given them Tylenol? I wish I could come help you out! Thinking of you!

(by the way, I don''t think I said "You''re awesome!" yet for running your race! How sweet that your dh brought the boys to cheer you on!)

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/8/2010 8:10:30 PM
Author: Mara

re: napping, normally he takes two ~2-3 hour naps during the day, and sometimes a 45min-1hour nap like in the swing, and then goes to bed at 9:30-10 and sleeps about 9-10 hours there. from what i read at his age, babies should be sleeping between 15-17 hours a day so it seems like he is doing ok with sleeping. i would love for him to sleep more than that, but that seems to be the max i can get out of him.

OMG! I am sooooo jealous. I''m sure TDM will be as well.

The most I ever got from Daisy was two 1 hour naps during the day and often not even that. Now I get one 30 minute one - or three hours if we co-nap. At night she''s great now and sleeps from 10pm ish till the alarm goes off at 7.30am or later if no alarm. Up till 5 months she was up every 3 hours all night!

Ginger - My sister said now was about the right time to start signing. I thought it should have been from when they were 3 months or so, but she was explaining something to me about how the brain works with their development and how babies suddenly realise about objects and concepts and that they have names and words and that is when verbal skills become more than making noises and that signing should be useful around that time.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Ok, ladies, let your babies read this: NO FUSSING TODAY! BE HAPPY TODAY!

I got to play musical beds at 4:15 a.m. Ben woke up to nurse, then I had to get up to pee, then Will woke up. I tucked Will into bed with SO and brought Ben out to the living room where he is snoozing away in his car seat. I put on a pot of coffee, started some laundry and am going to do some work early and life is GOOD!

QT, I am *dying* over Meena''s tutu. I honestly would love to have another little girl because they''re so much fun to dress up. I saw your question about kids'' clothes, but kept forgetting to post about it. My response doesn''t include anything new, really. For babies, I buy a lot of Carter''s and some BabyGap (although I think they''re expensive, I love how soft they are). For toddlers, anything goes pretty much. One thing I started doing with Will is buying Garanimals from Walmart for him to wear to daycare. The Garanimals line contains t-shirts and shorts or pants that are mix and match and a big $3.50 each piece. Each season I buy him 6 or 7 outfits and then I don''t care if he trashes them at school. I''ve found that they hold up really well even when they''ve been washed 4000 times to get little boy messes out. I started this after he came home with marker all over the back of a good shirt, ugh.

Mara, I really wouldn''t stress about the production difference between your boobs. It could be that that side doesn''t respond as well to the pump as the other side, or maybe that side really is producing less. I''m pretty sure most women have an imbalance. The last time, my left was the better producer but this time it''s my right. Maybe my left needed a break?

If you are having problems with plugged ducts a lot, you could try taking a 1200 mg. lecithin capsule 3 times a day and see if that helps.

I hope that Thursday''s appointment assures you that J is growing appropriately. I know all too well what it''s like to worry about a baby''s weight and you would think by now that I would NOT be concerned when a kid of mine is a string bean. It sounds like J may simply be destined to be long and lean because he has two parents with high metabolisms and this is a really good thing in the long run because he''ll probably never have to be worried about his weight. I like this article from Dr. Sears -- he refers to long, lean babies as "banana babies" and it''s a good description of my kids. It probably applies to J, too. If he is growing and gaining some weight, it''s a good bet that he is absolutely fine, even if he isn''t gaining weight at the rate a ped might want. SO and I were talking last night about how long Ben is and SO guesstimated that he''s now 21" (from 19" at birth), and I thought well, if he''s grown 2" in the past 5 weeks, it would make sense that he wouldn''t gain a lot of weight because he''s put his energy into getting taller. I can also tell that his big head has gotten bigger.

It sounds like J''s sleeping issues are a bit hard to manage right now. I know it''s really tough in the early days when they fuss and you know they''re sleepy but they just fight it like mad. I would encourage you not to let J cry alone in his crib and I''ll admit right now that I could never do it (even when I tried it with my oldest, I sucked at letting him be because it just felt wrong to me!). I believe that a young baby that wants to be in his mom''s arms to fall asleep is a baby with a true need, not just a want. A baby knows that he''s completely vulnerable and dependent on us for survival and even though YOU know that it''s not like a dingo is going to come into your house and whisk J away, biology hasn''t told HIM that. I agree with the theory that a baby left alone to cry learns that his cries mean nothing and he can''t expect his parents to come to his rescue so he will cry less, not because he''s figured out how to sooth himself, but because he''s withdrawing emotionally to some extent. I also believe that if you force yourself to ignore your baby''s cries, over time you will become desensitized to them and less able to respond to his needs.

It''s HARD to be at a baby''s beck and call 24/7. Even after doing this 5 times, I still have moments when I''m at my wit''s end when Ben cries and nothing I do seems to help. I know that I''m extremely lucky that SO and I are on the same page and believe that a crying baby deserves to have a parent there, even if that parent can''t fix the baby''s distress, so we do a lot of tag-teaming and passing the baby. I did the same with my older kids and don''t think any of them are overly dependent on me, although we have close relationships. In fact, my most independent child is #4 who nursed until she was 5!

Have you tried a sling at all? There are studies that show that babies that are carried in slings cry much less so it might be worth a shot. It also allows you to do stuff rather than feel like you''re trapped holding the baby all of the time. When Ben gets out of control fussy, I usually try the sling because he will fall right asleep in it.

Fiery, oh, you are so right about doing what the books say and when it doesn''t work, it''s like a punch in the gut! This is exactly why I try to set no expectations in the early days. Actually, I pretty much suck about following any type of schedule since we seem to be constantly going in 400 directions and it seems the kids set their own schedules.

Pandora, I''m so glad the nursing vacation worked! Any time you need a reason to stay in bed for a few days, just ask and I''ll give you one.

for Daisy''s first pair of shoes! I think they sound pretty adorable! I bet your Start Rite is similar to our Stride Rite. I''ll tell you -- their shoes are terribly expensive but they are worth it, IMHO, because they hold up. Will''s been wearing Stride Rites since he got his first pair, but a few months ago, he had a potty accident into his shoes (ugh) and we picked up a new pair of sneakers at Target because I didn''t feel like going to the mall. The Target sneakers were only like $15 but they fell apart within 6 weeks. We went back to Stride Rite and they were having a sale so he got 2 pairs of shoes for $60. Normally, his shoes run between $50-60 BUT they hold up until he grows out of them.

I''d definitely recommend signing! We did it with Will and it was amazing that he could communicate before he could actually talk.

Mandarine, I have no suggestions for the screaming, but I do hope the boys stop soon. I only know what it''s like to have one doing it at a time and that makes me crazy; two might put me over the edge. I think you do an awesome job with the boys and in your pics, you always look so incredibly happy (and so do they!).

Sunkist, uh oh...do you have another one?

Ginger, sorry to hear that you''ve got the fussies in your house, too! The growth spurts are usually at 2 and 6 weeks, but it really does vary, so it''s possible that''s what you''re dealing with. Or maybe your little man was just having an off day?

Remember, it''s perfectly normal to pump .5-3 oz. COMBINED when you pump in place of a feeding. I''m in the IBTC with you so I understand the worry, but we are normal! Plus, a baby is sooo much more efficient than a pump.



===============

I feel like I''m falling apart! Since right before Ben was born, I''ve been having this weird thing on my left hip where it feels numb. Since he was born, I wake up some mornings with it feeling like it''s on fire -- apparently it''s a pinched nerve. I can deal with that. But yesterday, my right wrist and elbow started feeling tendonitisy, which is a big PITA because I type all day so really can''t give my arm a rest. I know this is really common for new moms, but would love to know why I get this now when I never had it before. Oh, yeah...it''s probably because I''m older. Joy. My knees also hurt, so I''m going to have to try taking ibuprofen around the clock to see if that helps with all of the inflammation.

And I need to say this: I am so frustrated because we still have not DTD! It''s been like 8 weeks! SO has been super busy because he has a lot of projects that need to be wrapped up at the same time, and then there''s the issue of trying to get 2 kids to sleep at the same time, so yeah, I understand that it''s difficult. But COME ON. It''s starting to make me really grouchy because I would make time whereas SO is not so good at that. Overall, I am happy that a lack of sex life doesn''t really impact our relationship -- we''re still happy together, we have fun and get along, so I really do not have a reason to complain...except that I need to have that time to reconnect with him.

The sun isn''t up yet, but the birds are already chirping outside. Our weather has done a complete turn around and it''s going to be in the 60s and sunny again today, which I love but it really gives me spring fever! I can''t wait for thunderstorms, early summer mornings when there''s still a chill in the air, our annual vacation to the beach (this year with FIVE kids, OMG!)....

 

[sugarpie honeybun]

Good morning ladies - quick drive-by question before I head out for work. DH and I are in the market for a new baby carrier since we’re not in love with the Bjorn. DS is tipping the scale at 19 lbs and it’s a major pain (literally) to use a front carry. I know some of you have the Mei Tai baby carrier, and I was wondering if you also put the baby on your back while wearing it? If so, is it easy to put the LO in it? Our DS is almost 5 months and has good head control, but I’m still nervous about putting him on our back. Is 5 months too young?

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 3/9/2010 7:37:10 AM
Author: sugarpie honeybun
Good morning ladies - quick drive-by question before I head out for work. DH and I are in the market for a new baby carrier since we’re not in love with the Bjorn. DS is tipping the scale at 19 lbs and it’s a major pain (literally) to use a front carry. I know some of you have the Mei Tai baby carrier, and I was wondering if you also put the baby on your back while wearing it? If so, is it easy to put the LO in it? Our DS is almost 5 months and has good head control, but I’m still nervous about putting him on our back. Is 5 months too young?

Sounds like your little guy is the same size as Lex (he was about the same weight at 5 months). I have the Mei Tai and love it, but Lex still hasn''t taken to the back carry w/ it, and he''s 9 months. Personally, I think 5 months is too young for a back carry (at least w/ the mei tai). We front carry and even at almost 23 lbs, Lex does not feel heavy at all in the Mei Tai...love it. With practice the Mei Tai has gotten really easy for me to put him in and out of by myself, but that''s front carry only, I find the back carry VERY difficult to do alone and like I said he doesn''t seem to like it anyway so I rarely even try anymore.

 

[Mandarine]

Hi guys

Thank you all for your sweet comments!. It's been tough, for sure!. It's crazy how some babies have zero side effects to the shots...and some (like mine!) get really messed up.

I was giving them tylenol and switched to Motrin and I think it works better. I still try to only give it to them once a day...hopefully today they don't need it! I hope they start to turn the corner

So my sweet Lucas decided to give mommy a gift, maybe for the long week we all have had...he slept all night!

7pm-6am. I'm so happy and proud of him! I know, I know...I'm probably jinxing myself. I don't have super high hopes...I just hope by 6 months they start STTN on their own. I told myself at that point I will give them a little tough love (letting them cry a little...or a lot..)...but I really, really, really, don't want to do it. In theory I know it's fine and at that point they are probably waking up more out of habit than because they truly need to it...but I just have a feeling it's only going to make matters worse because they get each other going!. So if one cries...the other one feels like he has to also...and they really fuel each other's crying!.

For example, they were just in the playmat....Lucas started fussing and I went to get him, at that point Alex was already pouting!. As soon as I grabbed Lucas, Alex went back to playing happily.

This morning, like every morning, I put Lucas in Alex's crib while I laid for 10 more minutes...they were talking, as usual and it was time to get the day started so I went in there...and they were talking and holding hands. It just melts my heart when I find them holding hands!. I can't even imagine what their bond feels like. It must be amazing.

So I'm feeling better today (probably because of that extra sleep courtesy of Lucas!!!). I'm hopeful today is going to be a better day!. When they wake up from their morning nap we're going to pick up our organic share for the eek! I'm so excited I found this organic buying club...the produce is just SO good!! superior to anything you find at the organic grocery stores! Just super fresh!!!!

Ok, now I'm just rambling!!!!



rps Thank you for always being so sweet and supportive!. I agree with what you say about babies having a cuddling need. I really do believe that...specially in the early weeks. I think once they figure out that you do come back, every time, it's easier. I'm not opposed to letting them cry a little, but I always go back every 5-10 minutes to rub their bellies, pat their butts, sing their song, etc. I just had to break out of the constant rocking/holding them for every nap and bedtime...once they both got too heavy for me to be able to do it to both at the same time!. Even now though, they till need to cuddle...and who am I kidding...so do I!...so I love when they take naps on me. They're only going to be so little for so long, right?.

Anyway...hope you all have a great day...and hope all babies stop fussing and give mamas a break!!!

ETA: Both of them went down for their morning nap without a peep!!!!. I put them in their cribs, wide awake...and turned on their crib soothers....went in to check on them 5 minutes later and both of them are sleeping...UNSWADDLED...and without fussing!. Maybe they're feeling better!!!!!!!!! Please, please, please!!

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

This is completely off topic for newborn-12 months, but can I please vent?

This is GROSS, so if you have a weak stomach, SKIP THIS.

Yesterday when I picked Will up at daycare, the woman told me that he had had an accident so his dirty clothes were in his cubby. Alright, well, he''s trying, but accidents happen. When we got home, I threw his underwear in the washer along with some other clothes and some PetZyme, which is great for taking that poopy smell out of clothing. I didn''t get the laundry changed over last night, but went to do it this morning and figured out that Will''s teacher had apparently not rinsed out his underwear.

This is the most disgusting thing EVER: he had corn for lunch yesterday. And it was left behind in my washer and all over the other clothes. I am BEYOND LIVID.

It would be one thing if the teacher warned me that she hadn''t rinsed out his underwear because then I would have done it. Yes, I should have checked it, but since she has rinsed all of the other stuff that he''s had accidents in in the past, there was no reason for me to think I should do anything beyond dumping it from the bag into the washer.

I''m so pissed right now and this may just be the final straw with this day care. It''s bad enough that Will gets exposed to behaviors that we don''t allow (like wrestling) and that I worry that his teacher is overwhelmed and can''t really watch the kids because he''s constantly getting hurt by the other kids (like last week, the one girl bit him and the teacher was totally unaware), but when the teacher can''t even communicate that she has left a mess in his bag for me to clean up, it''s just too much.

 

[vizsla]

ditto fiery!! right around the age that j is charlie was on a 2 hr schedule... 45 mins to BF 15 mins awake and then 15-30 mins to put him to sleep/rock him etc. and he would sleep for 30-45 min.. repeat.. all day... for a few weeks...
i was also thinking that maybe j is fussy because he goes for long stretches w/out eating.. i.e. i wonder if you should try and wake him after 3 hours and do a dream feed??? at that age, BM is digested within 90mins.. it could be that he just needs to eat more.. this could help with the weight gain too.

also for reflux w/out meds - try elevating the head of j''s crib - keep his head elevated for at least 30mins after eating (this is extra sucky at night, but it works) and elevate the head of his changing table. FWIW these help

pandora- no, but i am trying it tonight! trust! and you give me total hope that we may just have another month of this nighttime h e double hockey sticks before charlie starts to regulate his sleeping.

mandy - shots! i know right??!? c has been a MESS since last friday... and you go ahead and whine.. i want to whine all the time too charlie eats every 2.5-3 hours.. all day.. all night... and at night when he''s not eating or we are holding him after a feed (upright for 30mins he is sleeping for maybe 30 mins before he starts in with the crying and grunting and writhing... ugh.. so.tired. i told him for my bday tomorrow

i want him to sleep until 5:30 .. is that so much to ask?

tao - charlie is doing the same thing... hopefully its a phase.. then again he always eats a couple times at night, but FWIW i''m right there with you.

RPS - hugs! and i know you say you are not superwoman, but the fact that you are even able to respond with such kind words to everyone everyday is amazing

china - how are you feeling today?

____

random question... and i may be baiting you all with the answer i want to hear, but give it to me straight. when you go out as a couple and leave the baby.. if your inlaws are close by, do they automatically get ''first dibs'' on babysitting?

DH and i bought some concert tixs (MMJ!!!!) b/c we never miss this band if they are in a 100 mile radius. anyhoo, it is the first date date we are planning on. the problem is, i really don''t want in-laws to be there when we get home. they fire off 1000 ?s and go on and on and on and on and on... it''s just so draining. contrary to this message board i am a super dupery private person who doesn''t like people in my bizzzzness my in-laws NEVER respect this. not to mention that MIL thinks anything she''s sees, hears, *over*hears is public fodder. she already compares everything we do or don''t do with her friends - and makes sure to tell them every single detail about our lives ... and then proceeds to tell us, in her queen of backhanded comment way, about how "so and so gets to do ____ with their grandchild and did you know ______ watched their grandchild overnight when it was 8 weeks old". UGH...

sorry... rant over.

 

[sugarpie honeybun]

Date: 3/9/2010 8:09:19 AM
Author: cdt1101

Sounds like your little guy is the same size as Lex (he was about the same weight at 5 months). I have the Mei Tai and love it, but Lex still hasn''t taken to the back carry w/ it, and he''s 9 months. Personally, I think 5 months is too young for a back carry (at least w/ the mei tai). We front carry and even at almost 23 lbs, Lex does not feel heavy at all in the Mei Tai...love it. With practice the Mei Tai has gotten really easy for me to put him in and out of by myself, but that''s front carry only, I find the back carry VERY difficult to do alone and like I said he doesn''t seem to like it anyway so I rarely even try anymore.

Thanks for the feedback! I''m going to order the Mei Tai today. I would much prefer to have him in the front, and it sounds like this carrier will help relieve some of the strain on my back.

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 3/9/2010 9:14:04 AM
Author: sugarpie honeybun

Date: 3/9/2010 8:09:19 AM
Author: cdt1101

Sounds like your little guy is the same size as Lex (he was about the same weight at 5 months). I have the Mei Tai and love it, but Lex still hasn''t taken to the back carry w/ it, and he''s 9 months. Personally, I think 5 months is too young for a back carry (at least w/ the mei tai). We front carry and even at almost 23 lbs, Lex does not feel heavy at all in the Mei Tai...love it. With practice the Mei Tai has gotten really easy for me to put him in and out of by myself, but that''s front carry only, I find the back carry VERY difficult to do alone and like I said he doesn''t seem to like it anyway so I rarely even try anymore.

Thanks for the feedback! I''m going to order the Mei Tai today. I would much prefer to have him in the front, and it sounds like this carrier will help relieve some of the strain on my back.

Trust me..it will relieve MOST of it...I had the Bjorn too and that thing KILLED my shoulders, it only works when they are little, once he started pushing 15 lbs, it was just too uncomfortable. The Mei Tai definitey takes some getting used to, but w/ practice it becomes really easy to get on and off. I also had fun choosing my print

I went w/ a custom one so it took a few weeks to get, but I love the print we chose.

 

[Blenheim]

Viz - they get first dibs because they are (a) sane

and (b) free. BUT that''s our choice and not theirs.

Sugarpie - you can do a back carry with a MT with newborns on up. We got ours at 4 months? 5 months? and were doing back carries the 1st day. But it''s easier doing front carries and I like snuggling with him like that, and even at 21-22 lbs it''s comfy with him on my front. So we generally do that.

 

[sugarpie honeybun]

Just ordered a Mei Tai. (I keep wanting to write mai tai…I wouldn’t mind ordering one of those, too). I ordered the khaki fabric with the blue/green polka dot print. Hopefully the khaki doesn’t get too dirty or dingy looking. I also ordered the zippy add-on and the extenders. Complete waste? These are expensive little buggers, huh? One of those inventions that cause you to ask yourself “why didn’t I come up with this idea?”

 

[Pandora II]

Love, love, love my mei tai!

I'll do a back carry around the house - handy when I'm cooking or laundry - but I'm too scared to do it out until Daisy can hold onto me properly on her own while I do the straps. Also I like the snuggliness of the front carry and Daisy isn't a big fan of the back carry. She's also a shop-lifter so I like to see what she's up to!

I bought a Mama Jacket Baby-Wearing Coat to go with mine which is a great invention especially in cold weather - only problem is I get stopped everytime I leave the house by people wanting to know where I got it! The coat also looks really nice without the baby part zipped in!

RPS - Sounds like the same kind of shoe company. I will say that since I put them on this morning she has been 'walking' her push-along thing all over the house instead of just standing and playing with it, and she's standing on her own much more - she'd been standing looking at a pizza menu that she was holding with both hands and after 15 seconds of so of her not even wobbling I thought I try and see if she'd do a step towards me, so I put my hand out and called her name. I must have shocked her as she jumped and fell splat on her face, so now I feel guilty!

I share your views on leaving small babies to cry - I only did it once with Daisy and that was because I was fuming angry and it was safer for both of us to not be in the same room till I calmed down, otherwise her feet barely touched the ground until she was 5 months old. She almost never cries - she doesn't need to as I'll generally anticipate her needs.

 

[vizsla]

rps - i just reread what you wrote about crying..and although it wasn't directed at me, i want to thank you. sometimes when i get to my whits end with charlie and his 'neediness' i have to hop online and read some dr. sears.. it helps get me over the 'what the H' hump.

bbbbuuuuubuttttt so does being validated by knowing i'm not alone. it really does help to know that what i am doing isn't causing irreversible damage to charlie or that his behavior is in anyway 'wrong' or something i can control (for right now

anyhoo.. most nights before going to bed, i have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself i can do this! it's a little stewart smalley but sometimes i feel like the only one who approves of my parenting

anyhoo, i just wanted to say thanks!

 

[Mara]

re: reflux..thanks viz and mand..we actually elevated J's bassinet last nite with a quilt under the mattress. funnily enough he has no issues at night (knock on wood), always goes down like a champ at 10pm and then again at 4-5am or whatever. it's the daytime naps that are the issue and where i feel like he has the most issues with potential reflux. he hardly even spits up at night.

i also read that bf'ing helps with reflux issues as bm is digested faster than formula or solids so it doesn't stick around as long to irritate the digestive system. and that bf'ing itself also triggers digestive something or other that helps increase digestive liquids vs bottle sucking apparently doesn't. anyway kind of interesting in general.

i got the gripe water last nite at whole foods...it looks like mostly a mix of herbs and sodium bicarbonate, but we tried it last nite and we'll keep up with it and see if it makes any type of diff. we see pedi on thurs.

re: crying, thanks for feedback...i know many don't agree with crying, but like you said viz, each parenting style is their own and no approval from others is required. one interesting train of thought which is not uncommon is that babies don't just cry because of being hungry or wet etc, but also because that is their only form of communication and it doesn't have to MEAN anything. that many times adults tend to give 'association' to crying because of how it sounds or their biological response. i am not concerned that our kid will have any ADDITIONAL crazy emotional issues, he gets a lot of love and cuddling when we aren't scarring him by letting him think we abandoned him under a banana leaf in the wild.

re: sleeping...the kid has always been a good sleeper, knock on wood it continues. last nite he went 6.5 hours and then 3.5 hours, down from 11pm to 9:30am with a feed in between. also we take cues on hunger from him, which our pedi said was fine to do. i try to err on the side of 'don't wake the sleeping baby'...if he wants to sleep 3 hours, feel free kiddo. the pedi just told us to not let him sleep longer than 3 hours in the day or else we might affect his long night stretches. also when i have tried to wake him a few times to feed him he just doesn't seem that interested. he is a champ at falling asleep on the boob.

re: carriers...we have the bjorn so we'll try that to start but we'll see...there are a lot of other ones that moms seems to love...we got the bjorn as a gift from a FABULOUS mom and a few of my friends seemed to like it.

RPS...i hope he has gained weight but i know what you said is true re: if he is gaining SOME weight it doesn't have to be some crazy lb'age. honestly i think his head is bigger, it looks huge. and he was 21 to begin with so pretty long. but who knows, he is still in half of his newborn clothes. but he is def rosy and looks healthy, his little body is def not too thin. and we calc'd we are feeding him prob about 20-21oz a day or so which seems on track for his weight and size. i don't want to overstuff him.

viz....re parents or inlaws...not necessarily. if you don't have a great relationship with someone then i wouldn't want them watching my child, regardless of who they are. or if they don't respect what you say, etc. you are the parents, you guys decide who you feel comfortable with watching your kid.

mandarine...girl you are a SAINT. i don't know if i ever got the background but have the boys always been criers/screamers? honestly you can complain all you want--i don't know that i could deal with two,look at me whine about my one! hope today is better for you.

cc...hope you are feeling better!

RPS sorry to hear about the daycare issue...and the laundry!! ugh.

so J is making WAY more non crying noises in the last 2-3 days which is so fun. even MIL noticed just since they have visited that he is talking more. it's so cute. and i would much rather he babble on like that than cry! talk all you want kiddo.

and the other new development in the last few days is when he wakes up in the morning or from a nap and i come into the room to talk to him, he stops crying and listens to me. before he would just cry regardless of what was said or who talked to him whenever time it was. love it!

he is also starting to wake up and not scream bloody murder in the mornings...more like he makes some squeaks, and cries but then settles down for about 10 more min, then squeaks again and then settles down again rather than the typical 'newborn' behavior of 'i'm awake and screaming because i'm starving'. so it is allowing me to hear him, get up, go make coffee and breakfast and then pick him up and feed him which is great.

waiting for MIL to come today so that i can get some gym time in.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 3/9/2010 8:47:07 AM
Author: vizsla


random question... and i may be baiting you all with the answer i want to hear, but give it to me straight. when you go out as a couple and leave the baby.. if your inlaws are close by, do they automatically get ''first dibs'' on babysitting?

Well let me tell you about inlaws........lol!

When we go out, they are always the first to jump on babysitting. We could call them on our way to drop her off and they get really excited.

I don''t have to repeat my issues with MIL because I''ve mentioned it here plenty of times. However, despite the issues I have with her she really does take good care of Sophia. She teaches her how to "say" a bunch of stuff, sings to her, dances with her, walks her around outside and points things out, shows her pictures of me and FI and says "mama/papa", basically all the stuff I would want to do with her if I were home.

My issues with her is that I don''t have the backbone to tell her to knock it off and listen to me and she has diarrhea mouth. But the amount of love and care that she shows Sophia is enough for me to feel comfort when I leave her in her care everyday. I''ll confess that I rarely call her unless I have an issue to discuss or if Sophia is sick because I just don''t worry.

So my long answer (lol) is that yes, they usually always get first dibs on babysitting because I know she''s in safe hands even though I also know that when I pick her up I have to hear all her crazy stories/thoughts for 30 minutes.

 

[vizsla]

yeah, i was afraid of that.
i know that they love c oodle and oodles. it''s just that i take issue with MIL personality and how she relates/treats people. diarrhea of the mouth is an understatement and she is just so incredibly nosy! i also know *she* takes issue with our parenting style and has offered to buy us dr ferber''s book numerous times (one of the many reasons i am nervous about them watching him.... will she respect our wishes or is she just so eager to ''fix'' him b/c she doesn''t agree with us? and she wants to say ''lookie what i did'') i can tell you that she has asked my midwife''s mother (they are also friends) how long f stayed with me in the delivery room after the dr. arrived. even though i''ve told her 10million times that f delivered me. she doesn''t/can''t/won''t comprehend the concept of a midwife, so she will keep asking until she gets the answer she likes. trust her? i do not.

anyhoo, i have no problem having them watch c while we are in close proximity. and maybe if he was ''easier'' in general i would be comfortable leaving him with them. she seriously can not lift a bag of sugar... charlie thrives when he is being held and goes ape when he''s out of arms for too long. even his primary caregiver at daycare says she holds him most of the day.

anyhoo... just added anxiety.

mara- i hope i didn''t come across as if you are not doing right by J - that was not my intention at all - i was just sharing some of the things that helped me deal with c and his fussy gussy ways.

much like pandora mentioned.. c hardly ever cries .... when he''s being held..... it''s the ''not'' holding thing that gives us trouble... we have a peanut sling that gives me sanity when i feel like i am in groundhog day. in fact.. i just put him in it last night and took a walk with the dog... he loves being draped over my belly

i don''t really like the bjorn... the maitai looks super sweet.. i may have to check it out!