PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Mara]

Happy Birthday George! Blen I am not familiar with your birth story but it sounds like you are superwoman...so...yay for Superwoman! hehe.

Oh and I thought maybe I could do labor w/no meds etc...oh heck no. I am not that strong of a person apparently, but I also had crazy back labor since my water had been broken for god knows how long. So, meds were my best friend, I didn''t really care how weird I felt on them haha.

Thanks for the info on the pumping/feeding ladies. I guess we''ll just have to see what happens since I don''t plan to pump more, I can''t take it...though I should be able to put him on the boob once more a day but he''s sooo lazy I know he just doesn''t get enough and stimulation does not help so it is sitting there for like 30-40 min with him staring around daydreaming and occasionally sucking, so I would hate having to pump after that ANYWAY. It would be diff if he was a good eater on the boob, I would not mind feeding him more often, it would be super easy. But I can pump more in 30 min off both boobs than he gets off one boob (then he passes out). Once I go back to work in 5 weeks, I will have to just deal with production decreasing anyway, since I don''t plan to pump more especially at work. I figure at some point after I go back we''ll just move to mostly formula and I can continue feeding him *something* once a day in the morning as long as my boobs will let me--I''d like to get to 4 months especially.

But yep Ginger, HATE IT. My left boob often feels like its on fire (Dr thinks it''s muscle vasospasms and maybe nipple)..for whatever reason the right boob does not have the same super sensitivity issues the left one does. And when he latches on for a few seconds I want to scream since it''s so painful and he sucks so strong at first. But after a while they kind of numb and dull out. YES on the bra...hello I have DD''s and I spend 99% of my time with no bra, it just does not feel good. And yep on super soft materials and on the bad shower spray. I will be ECSTATIC when I am done and they are just back to being lumps on my chest with no feeling at all.

On that note, those Moms who already weaned, how long did it take for your milk to dry up and boobs back to original normal? I am hoping a few days, but with my luck it would take forever.

And umm I am jealous of my friend who only pumps 2x a day and does only bottle feeding and said her supply didn''t decrease at all when she went from like 5x a day to 2x, she just pumps a whole heck of a lot more 2x. BOO.

Funny note... Greg is always like.. but her boobs are smaller than yours! When I tell him about my friend''s super production. And I keep telling him bigger is not better when it comes to BF''ing. But he totally keeps thinking that. It''s so funny.

Steph..YAY for 11 hours!!! That is great. And you never know, he''s been going longer and longer right? Maybe it''s just clicking for him.

Viz...girl I just wanna say I don''t know how you do it on so little sleep, working, and working out at lunch!!! That is some kind of superwoman.

PG... have you and DH considered counseling? If you just want to vent, great...vent away. But maybe you both talking to a professional would help improve things between you two and the work/life balance? Sometimes having that impartial third party helps.

RPS...i would do one of those little on-the-go sleep things, gosh we have one and don''t use it at all..I can''t remember the name of it but it''s like a little fabric box that can go on a table or bed or whatever and folds up when done. It''s only like $40. Not sure how much the Arms Reach is.

oh and waking up the baby to show them to anyone, nuh uh doesn''t happen anymore in our household. we might have done that in the first few weeks when he was new and would easily fall back or someone hadn''t seen him etc but now I guard his sleep with my life! I am like oh you want to Skype with your Dad? well it has to be when he''s awake. We aren''t trotting the kid out like a pony on display during naptime. Yes I am anal.

I''m taking J into my office today to show him off. I hope he doesn''t get sick, I am taking my Purell with me and misting everyone who comes close. Ok not misting people but they have to wash their hands at least.

 

[Sha]

Steph - wow, 11 hours? That's great!

I was thinking today that every baby is differen when it comes to sleep. My friend was just telling me her newborn is already sleeping 4 hour stretches, whereas Dalila at four months is still up every 2-3 hours. Her baby eats a lot, though - 1/2 hour on the breast and still formula after. I wonder if long sleep stretches have more to do with personality or with how much a baby eats?? Hmmmm..... Just thinking aloud. I started Dalila on a bit of rice cereal yesterday (was going to wait until 6 months but in light of going back to work and being sleep-deprived and all.....) and she still woke up at the 2 hour mark!! I'm going to keep trying it, though, to see if it does make a difference.

PG (and gingerB)- thanks, the rest of my day did go well.

I think my back is glad for the break from constant lifting and carrying...so that's one good thing about being back at work. I do miss her though. She cried again today after I left.

I'm sorry about the feelings of resentment towards your DH. His job certainly sounds very flexible - that's great that he's able to take off mornings/afternoons like that! - most people don't have that privilege. I would probably feel resentful too...kind of like, "what are you complaining about???" Especially since he still gets to continue a lot of fun things when you don't. Sure, it's nice to have a job that fits your personality, but sometimes you have to suck things up for the benefit of the rest of your family, you know? ((HUGS))

You're a star, pumping 12 oz every day!!

Wow. That's great! So far I haven't been able to pump anything for daycare yet. Yesterday after work I pumped 4 oz but gave that to DH for when I went to choir practice yesterday evening.

On the DH front: I got really upset at DH last night too. I was heading off to choir practice - the only 2 hours I get to spend by myself during the week, practically, and the ONLY time he really has to watch Dalila on his own during the week, and he starts to sigh about not getting to do what he wants to do, like emailiing and going for a run, blah blah blah. I was really upset.

Yes, so you have to sacrifice your time for 2 hours - SO WHAT???? This is the only 2 hours you really have to sacrifice during the week. You get to sleep uninterrupted every night, you get to do everything else you want to do practically, whenever you want to do it - what's a measly 2 hours once per week??? Sheesh.

I really think he's selfish sometimes when it comes to sacrifcing his time, and it really gets to me at times.

Amber - yay for Piper rolling over!

Blen - Happy Birthday to George!

 

[gingerB]

happy birthday george!!!

viz - DH and i broke down yesterday and got some coffee for the first time since, welll a loooooonnng time (we''re usually not big coffee drinkers) and i thought of you. maybe we should have asked for the viz special

steph -

for 11 hours! ope this continues for you!!!

mandi - fingers crossed this was the one off -- hopefully things will ont inthe RIGHT direction

mara - lol on the purell misting. i would sooo be like that. looking obsessive i can deal with - sick screaming baby, not so much! and add me to the jealous of your friend camp. maybe she''s a HVP? (high volume producer?) which i soooo wish i were. but that comes with it''s downside also as they tend to make lots of foremilk and sometimes it''s hard for the babies to get to the hind milk. may not be as much of a prob for pumpers though. right now i HAVE to pump 7-8x a day to make my 36ish oz (although i may be sleeing a slow increase right now -- fingers crossed).

========================================================

ladies who bottle feed (BM and /or formula) would ya''ll mind posting your schedule? breast or bottled bm or formula, oz, time, age and weight of LO. and if you can remember what your LO was doing at about 2 month or so that would be an awesome bonus. I''m wondering if part of the sleep struggle is how i''m doing his feeds. we can''t do big bottle before bedtime due to the reflux

so that is not an option right now to help him sleep longer at night.

putting him down for naps has become

. we''re talking 15 min catnaps, then try again for another 15 min, then again -- by this time he''s getting frustrated and overtired and is screaming bloody murder. and we''re just like just LET GO and sleep!

and speaking of stress, predictably with increased stress comes my friend the plugged duct.

aaargh...talk about adding insult to injury. and what''s worse is this time it''s in my mass producer boob so my supply is taking a hit. big booooo as A is taking in more now. i feel like we can''t quite catch a break.

 

[Mara]

ginger...real quick. did you guys try cluster feeding? like if A goes down at 9pm then feed him at 6:30, 7:30, 8:30? it is our way to get J more food for bedtime but not give it all to him at 8pm, it seems like he spits up way less when we do it like this. we actually only give him two, like 7:30 and 8:30 but it''ll be like 3.5oz each time so he gets 7oz more spread out over time. it also helps to get him a bit more ''sleepy'' because it can take them a little while to feel fuller with bottle.

is A really eating 36oz a day or is some of that ''stash'' for the future?

oh and sha on the rice cereal, i have read it does NOT help the kids sleep longer or stay full longer. we only give it to J because of his reflux, it''s supposed to help according to pedi. and i think it does a bit. what about trying whole grain or oatmeal for D? that would prob help keep her fuller longer and it''s the same idea, just not rice.

off to get ready and take J to visit my office! i am so excited to see everyone. and yep Ginger i don''t mind LOOKING paranoid, i''d rather that than have my poor baby be all sick and congested at 2 months. but on the other hand i don''t want him to be a shut in away from ANY germs, plus he''s bf''ing so he''ll get my immunities if we are both exposed. fingers crossed we stay healthy.

 

[fieryred33143]

Sorry about your troubles Ginger

I''m not much help because Sophia didn''t have reflux. What I can tell you is that we follow EASY and I do look out for her tired signals and try to put her down immediately otherwise she''s a mess.

Anyway, Current schedule (9mo, 19ishlbs) is below. This is standard but she sometimes has off days. Right now she''s fighting naps w/ MIL and going 4 hrs between naps sometimes.

7am wake
7:30 7oz bottle
8:30 cereal with fruit
9ish nap
11:30 7oz bottle
Noon lunch (usually chicken and veggies puree)
12:30 nap
3:30 7oz bottle
6ish dinner (veggies)
7:30 7oz bottle/bed

At home she''s on a 4hr schedule: wake, eat, play 2hrs, nap 2hrs.

She did not start STTN until 6mo. From birth she went from every 3hrs, to 4hrs, 5, then 8, then every 2 (growth spurt @3mo), then back to 4, 8, and starting at 6mo to now 11-13hrs.

At 2mo I was EBF (no bottles) but she was going about 2 hours in between feed during the day and about 3-4 at night on "good" nights.

 

[vizsla]

for sha and ginger.. i don''t know how much of my early ''struggles'' you have read but i just want to say i''ve been right where you are and - surprisingly - am surviving. but it''s RIDICULOUSLY hard sometimes.
sha - going back to work was the hardest thing i have ever done.. and it only added insult to injury that charlie is a rotten sleeper. i would give my right arm (ok, not really to be able to stay at home with c... but we can''t make that work right now. my first month back to work was the WORST! it''s still not awesome, but it has gotten easier to leave.. and i LIVE for the weekends. my friendships have suffered some, but i''m not willing to give up my one on one time with c just so i have this ''me'' time i''m supposed to want

all in due time. and luckily i have some super understanding friends.

anyhoo, i think it''s a big misconception that food=sleep - i have had big discussions on this thread about sleep being a developmental thing - it stinks that some babies can''t go more than 2 hours w/out eating and some can go 12. if you can come to some sort of peace with this, i think you may feel a bit differently about the current situation. i used to get anxiety about going to bed - and that''s no way to live. i still get angry and i wonder if i''m doing the ''right'' things but somehow you will manage to deal with everything. i only shower at night now, and when c gets up in the morning (too early for me i plop him in between DH and i and turn on the tv, give him some toys and cat nap for another 30 mins. on the weekend DH and i take turns getting up with the baby in the morning and let the other one sleep in... anything to catch some zzzzzzz - heck, i''ve even slept in my car at lunch.

ginger - i feel for you too.. it''s so hard when, on top of everything else, they have reflux. zantac really didn''t do much for c - he is now on prevacid which works, but took about 2 weeks to see a noticeable result. around 4 months he started to spit up a lot (he has silent reflux) and now he still does a good amount of back arching and stiffening up, but i can tell he''s much more comfortable.

at 3 months due to some BF problems we put c on nutramigen (he has MSPI) - at 2 months he was a PEANUT b/c of the MSPI and reflux (only gained one lb his first month). i would guess he was eating 2oz every 1.5-2 hours? (he ate frequently b/c of the reflux) at 4 months he was 13 lbs and we offered 4oz at each feeding... he ate between 2 and 4oz - and would eat upwards of 10-12x a day. now that he is 5 months old i would venture to guess he weighs 15 lbs. we offer 6oz each feeding (still 8-12x a day) and he will eat anywhere from 4oz to the entire bottle.. the kid is weird!

mandy - have you checked out http://wholesomebabyfood.com/? i think i''m going to start c with avocados.. in a month or so.. he doesn''t really get the whole swallowing thing yet.. but we''ve only tried cereal 2 times..

 

[fieryred33143]

Solids to help sleep: I think its a myth. I''m on another site and there are some babies that get three full meals in addition to their bottles and still wake up multiple times. There''s one poor girl that has twins (almost 10mo) that were waking up 4 to 5 times a night up until recently.

Work: going back for me was and still is hard. But I have to work. I''m the main bread winner (p.s. I filed HoH this year and went from owing to getting a buttload of money woohoo!). So I just make it work and try to do a lot during our time together. In the morning I bring her in to our room while I''m getting dressed and we sing together. At night we play a lot and we have dinner as a family. It gets easier. It doesn''t get better but it does get easier to walk away every day.

I think sleeping is contributed to so many different factors and not one way will work for everyone and your way won''t always work all the time.

I also think as time goes on and your kid evolves you pick up on things that help. For example, Sophia is a really sensitive baby who senses tension. If I''m stressed she feels it so I have to take time to unwind before I put her to bed. Weird, right?

Also, she cannot be over stimulated before bed. She needs a period of quiet time in order to fall asleep. Something we have and are still doing at night is decrease her stimulation as much as possible before bed. I shut off the lights and shut the door before putting her pjs on. Sometimes if she''s still in play mode, we''ll slow dance together for a couple of minutes so that she calms her hyper booty down. Once she puts her head on my shoulder, that''s my cue that she''s calm and can usually go from bottle straight to sleep. It took us months to figure that out.

Oh, she also hates light when she''s sleeping just like FI. Even the small light on her monitor bothers her.

 

[Mandarine]

Viz, I love that site!!!...I have actually been using that as a guide and that''s what I had in mind for the first month (6months): avocado, oatmeal, pears, butternut squash and green beans. I just thought green beans sounded a little like too much? so I was going to start with peas instead. Mine will be 6 months Sunday (I can''t beiev it!) and right now I''m just doing like once a day (started Monday), and just letting them basically get a taste. Lucas seems to really be into his oatmeal! It''s so cute, when I go feed Alex Lucas pulls my hand so I feed him again instead! lol little piglet!!!

 

[Mandarine]

So I''m really all about sharing...and do post to FB quite often (those of you that are my friends know!)...but I''m not a compulsive poster either (we all have those on our friends list, don''t we?

Anyway...I have one girl from my moms group that posts way too much!...I REALLY don''t need to know ALL the details of her breastfeeding problems...or the size of the poopy diapers...or that the poop was even on the baby''s neck. You know?...It''s just a little to graphic for a FB status!

 

[ChinaCat]

Mandarine- I started O on rice cereal, then we did green peas, green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc. We just added in fruit. There is a "theory" to start with green vegetables first, then orange, then fruits, then meats- because the theory goes that if you start with fruits the baby may get used to the sweet and then not like veggies. Personally I think that''s probably B.S., but it''s what we did. No meat yet. Anyways, O LOVED the peas, green beans, carrots and sweet potatoes. Seems a bit indifferent to fruit as of now. He does love french fries though!

Anyone have thoughts on dairy? I gave O some yogurt the other day (baby yogurt, for babies 6 months plus) and I think it might have given him a stomachache. Not sure, but am holding off for now. Just curious when peeps did dairy.

Mara- Have to agree, if you really want to keep giving Julian BM exclusively you should either pump more or feed him. Your supply will decrease. What you describe sounds like what I did when I started decreasing the amount of BM I gave him. That''s really not enough to keep him exclusively BF. I''m trying to think. When I went back to work at 4 months, I fed O in the morning, then pumped 3x a day (to match when he got bottles) and then nursed him however many times when I got home. I did produce a ton of milk when I pumped (usually at least 8 oz each time, except for about 5/6 oz at the late afternoon pumping). I can''t remember but I think O was eating 5 oz a bottle at that time. Now he eats 8 oz. BUT if you just don''t want to pump more, then you''ll probably have to go to formula. Not the end of the world, just whatever you want to do. As for weaning- I dropped the 2 pumpings really quickly, but it took a good 4-5 PAINFUL days to drop the 3rd. I felt like a drug addict with the pump. Then it took a few days (not painful though) to drop the early morning feeding. Now I still nurse him before he goes to bed, but that is slowly lessening on its own and I think we''ll be done altogether soon.

Oh and you seriously should go read Blen''s birth story. Insane and amazing for sure!

Ginger- Feeling for you, sounds miserable. I do remember in the beginning feeling like you feel, like you can''t catch a break and it seemed like everyday there was something new and overwhelming to deal with. Again, the only thing we can say is it WILL get better. Which didn''t help me at all, but there you go.

O was a pretty strict every 3 hours eater, sometimes 2.5 or 4 hours in between, but usually 3 hours. And at that age, he was exclusively BF so I don''t really know on the bottle thing. Though when I switched him to bottles, he still had the same schedule. When do you have to go back to work?

Phoenix- No help here, just know that I "hear" you. The resentment thing is hard and potentially scary. And another thing that nobody tells you about, yet it seems like everyone has to deal with. And can I just say, that as someone who is OVERWHELMED by her job, your DH''s job sounds heavenly. I do understand a person''s need to love their job/find their passion (I am really struggling with this now myself) BUT financial responsibility and O come first. I think after you have kids, you can really only have the luxury of "finding your passion" once your family is financially secure. Sucks but it''s true. And it sucks that he has to be the financially responsible one, but it also sucks that you are pretty much solely responsible for Claire. Trade-offs. Being a grown up sucks sometimes.

Pandora- If you delve too deeply into her motivations, it might get creepy, but honestly she sounds sad and lonely, and IMO, what real harm is there in letting her "adopt" Daisy and send her things? She''s older, it won''t go on forever, and is it really that bad to let an old lady find hope/comfort in Daisy? Obviously if boundaries get crossed or she shows up all the time or something, then that''s a different story, but I would just let her do what makes her happy. If it''s too much stuff, then maybe send it to a women/children''s shelter or something. Just my opinion of course!

Blen- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY to GEORGE!

Can''t believe he''s already one!!!!!!

Hi to everyone else!

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Happy birthday, George!! What a big kid he is now! Blen, isn''t it amazing how fast a year goes by?

Mara, Ginger pretty much covered the whole supply and demand thing. I''m sorry things are still kind of rough. Would it be more tolerable if you kept J off the bad side? It''s totally do-able to only feed from one side; your body just needs a couple of days to catch up to that.

As for how long it takes to dry up...well, for me, it took a while each time, like several months. Benedryl is known for being drying so you could try taking that if you need to.

Ginger and Steph, thanks...we have a pack n play up at the farm so SO is going to pick that up before I leave. I felt bad when I told him that I think he needs to put Ben in there because he (SO) just sleeps too hard to co-sleep safely alone.

Pandora, Ben is a pretty fast nurser, too. I used to think he was just lazy, but in the past couple of weeks, I think he''s simply become more efficient. He''ll nurse for like 5 minutes and then he makes it VERY clear that he''s done. If I try to get him latched back on, he just gets mad. He also rarely falls asleep nursing; now he''ll start fussing until I give him his paci and then he zonks out. I worried that he wasn''t eating enough, but he''s still gaining (albeit slowly) and looks perfectly fine.



===

Can I say that I would rather have a child that poops 20 times a day than one who saves it up for a rainy day? Ben has gone to only pooping every 3 days or so, but when he does, we have a total mess. He did it again this morning and I was right in the middle of pulling some stuff together for my boss. I had to undress him on a blanket, wipe him up a bit, then put him in the bath and throw his clothes and the blanket in the laundry. Gross! I would not have been surprised to see poop in his hair. And it''s ORANGE to boot. Yes, my child poops orange.

For the last couple of nights, Ben''s been difficult. I have to wonder if he doesn''t have reflux and it just isn''t obvious because he''s breastfed. He sometimes acts like he just brought up something, but swallows it back down and when he''s upset, he arches his back quite a bit. When he''s in that mood, he refuses to nurse. Last night, it took the two of us a good 90 minutes to get him calmed down. I don''t know what to think about this behavior because it''s so confusing. I haven''t been eating anything different, and really, during the day, he''s been mostly good. He''s been really great today, either napping or lying here happily, which is a complete turn around from last night.

I don''t know!! But what I do know is last night made me feel really uneasy about leaving next week. While I have lots of faith in SO''s ability to handle Ben, I worry that juggling Ben''s crankiness and Will''s bullheadedness is going to be awful. If necessary, I can come home for a few hours after the first day of training and then drive back later that evening after Ben is settled or Will goes to bed.

I promise I will quit whining about these trips soon.

 

[gingerB]

Date: 4/7/2010 1:07:34 PM
Author: Mara
ginger...real quick. did you guys try cluster feeding? like if A goes down at 9pm then feed him at 6:30, 7:30, 8:30? it is our way to get J more food for bedtime but not give it all to him at 8pm, it seems like he spits up way less when we do it like this. we actually only give him two, like 7:30 and 8:30 but it''ll be like 3.5oz each time so he gets 7oz more spread out over time. it also helps to get him a bit more ''sleepy'' because it can take them a little while to feel fuller with bottle.

is A really eating 36oz a day or is some of that ''stash'' for the future?

oh and sha on the rice cereal, i have read it does NOT help the kids sleep longer or stay full longer. we only give it to J because of his reflux, it''s supposed to help according to pedi. and i think it does a bit. what about trying whole grain or oatmeal for D? that would prob help keep her fuller longer and it''s the same idea, just not rice.

off to get ready and take J to visit my office! i am so excited to see everyone. and yep Ginger i don''t mind LOOKING paranoid, i''d rather that than have my poor baby be all sick and congested at 2 months. but on the other hand i don''t want him to be a shut in away from ANY germs, plus he''s bf''ing so he''ll get my immunities if we are both exposed. fingers crossed we stay healthy.

yep - cluster feeding still aggravated his reflux.

and no - A was on 24 oz /24 hrs, now with the weight gain I''ve upped it to 26-27 oz per 24 hrs. the rest is freezer stash.

and ditto on the not sterile baby thing. i''m strong believer that you can try to be tooo clean/sterile with your baby

 

[phoenixgirl]

OK, feeling a little more on top of things and am watching cute baby play on activity mat while I pump hands free (darn daycare gave her the freezer bottle again, but at least I''m getting in an extra pumping). I''m excited to start solids soon (2 weeks) because I think that will take some of the pumping pressure off.

Mara, I''m definitely using PS to vent. Sometimes I''d rather vent anonymously than discuss my secret thoughts with people who know and love my DH. Maybe that''s backwards, I don''t know. But certainly we''d consider counseling if things seemed like they were really going down the toilet. If me quitting doesn''t improve things, I''ll definitely schedule something. I saw a great therapist after my dad died.

Sha, I''d be annoyed too. What does he want you to do, tell the choir that you can''t come because your DH doesn''t want to miss his internet time?

Ginger, so sorry about the plugged duct!

Thanks for the commiseration, all. Venting helps!

I read the other day that only 14% of mothers (I assume in America?) are exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months. I couldn''t tell if that number was skewed by the number who have started solids, but the same study said only 33% were BFing at 3 months, so maybe not. Well, no wonder, because BFing is way harder than I thought it would be! I think that''s the number one stressor -- being sleep deprived, unable to leave your baby, and forced to pump in ridiculous locales at work.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2010 4:20:43 PM
Author: phoenixgirl

I read the other day that only 14% of mothers (I assume in America?) are exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months. I couldn''t tell if that number was skewed by the number who have started solids, but the same study said only 33% were BFing at 3 months, so maybe not. Well, no wonder, because BFing is way harder than I thought it would be! I think that''s the number one stressor -- being sleep deprived, unable to leave your baby, and forced to pump in ridiculous locales at work.

I have the utmost respect for breastfeeding (especially exclusively) moms. I know a lot of people say it''s easier than formula feeding, but once I threw in the towel, I found formula feeding seemed SO much easier. Probably because the BFing never happened.

From reading the newborn thread for a couple of years now, the number one thing that people seem to get hit hard unexpectedly seems to be breastfeeding. I think people know they are going to be sleep deprived (although they don''t really realize to what extent) but all the things that come with BFing, wow. It doesn''t seem to come naturally/easily to most moms right away. It''s always SOMETHING. I had no latch issues, no pain in my nipples, but no milk!

Personally, I wish there would have been more education that formula is still plenty fine for a kid. I was hit hard with a lot of lactivists and of course breast IS best so I really wanted to do it. But hey, never had milk so not much I could do about it, except to have given up a lot earlier (which I wish I did.)

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/7/2010 4:40:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Personally, I wish there would have been more education that formula is still plenty fine for a kid. I was hit hard with a lot of lactivists and of course breast IS best so I really wanted to do it. But hey, never had milk so not much I could do about it, except to have given up a lot earlier (which I wish I did.)

Totally.

Actually, there needs to be more education on feeding your newborn period.

I''ve mentioned that I''m a member of the bump where there are a lot more members than here on PS. In the 0-3month section there are a huge number of posts related to both formula and bfing, everything from how to boost supply to is 8oz of formula for a newborn too much

.

When it comes to bfing, people need to understand the difference between your pediatrician and your lactation consultant IMO. A lot of people take the advice of the pediatrician on supply issues and what to do without ever seeing an LC. Sophia''s pediatrician is wonderful. But he''s not an LC and while he did support bfing all the way, his advice just wasn''t as effective as that of my LC. I remember when Sophia was 3 days old and went in for her check-up. I was told by the pedi to give her half an ounce of formula before I nursed so that she wasn''t on the breast as much because we weren''t sleeping. I didn''t do it but when I met with the LC 2 days later, she went into the discussion on supply/demand with me and how supplementing affects it.

You also need to have a healthy balance between pushing yourself to resolve your bfing issues AND knowing that you aren''t "giving up" if you switch to formula. Switching to formula was an emotional decision back then because I kept seeing it as failing but it''s so far from failing. I also don''t like when people say they are "giving up." It''s not giving up and it''s not failing. Happy mom = happy family.

 

[Pandora II]

Sha - first, more pics of D please! She''s a beauty - and that twinkle in the eye tells me that someone is going to be a handful.

I''m convinced that sleeping, especially STTN, is like most developmental milestones. Each kid is different, every kid gets there eventually and a lot has to do with personality.

On solids=more sleep... I''m not convinced at all, hasn''t made any difference to Daisy. Also worth knowing that babies don''t develop the enzymes needed to digest starches until between 6 and 9 months, so you are shoving food into them but they can''t get any nutritional value from it.

There are some really interesting studies on babies and food. One that I found really interesting allowed them to self-select from a range of 30 foods over a pretty long period of time. Turned out that they all ate a very balanced diet and if they were lacking in some vitamin or other they would select from that food group for a while. None of the babies chose to eat cereals though.

------------------

Thanks for all the advice on the ex-MIL (for want of a better word) - Viz, you totally hit the nail on the head. DH is pretty cool about it all, I guess it''s just that it always brings back thoughts and memories for me that I wouldn''t otherwise have. She lives in Ireland so won''t be dropping round at all, so I guess I should just make an old lady happy!

-----------------

Took Daisy to the doctors today for her big ''8 Month Check-up'' - she''s 10 and a half months... oooppps. The doctor thinks that the waking at night and screaming is almost certainly nightmares and the very dry skin is due to London air and the very hard water here and to keep slapping on the moisturisers. Otherwise she passed everything with flying colours.

She''s now 18lbs 8oz which is 25th centile and 69cm which is 9th centile, so still a shortie!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/7/2010 5:06:45 PM
Author: Pandora II


Took Daisy to the doctors today for her big ''8 Month Check-up'' - she''s 10 and a half months... oooppps. The doctor thinks that the waking at night and screaming is almost certainly nightmares and the very dry skin is due to London air and the very hard water here and to keep slapping on the moisturisers. Otherwise she passed everything with flying colours.

She''s now 18lbs 8oz which is 25th centile and 69cm which is 9th centile, so still a shortie!

LMAO!

I got really confused. I thought, wait Daisy is 8months? How old is Sophia? haha.

And the funny part is that Sophia was 18lbs8oz at her 8mo check up! ha!

Was her doctor blown away by the genius that is Daisy? Seriously that girl is too much

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/7/2010 5:13:38 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 4/7/2010 5:06:45 PM
Author: Pandora II


Took Daisy to the doctors today for her big '8 Month Check-up' - she's 10 and a half months... oooppps. The doctor thinks that the waking at night and screaming is almost certainly nightmares and the very dry skin is due to London air and the very hard water here and to keep slapping on the moisturisers. Otherwise she passed everything with flying colours.

She's now 18lbs 8oz which is 25th centile and 69cm which is 9th centile, so still a shortie!

LMAO!

I got really confused. I thought, wait Daisy is 8months? How old is Sophia? haha.

And the funny part is that Sophia was 18lbs8oz at her 8mo check up! ha!

Was her doctor blown away by the genius that is Daisy? Seriously that girl is too much

She was a total PITA and show-off the entire visit, 'talking' away like mad, giving the doctor her biggest smiles and doing the waving and 'Hiiiii' thing (and then applauding herself). I was nearly sick it was so nauseating!

Anyway, the doctor said she was "clearly a very bright, happy little girl in perfect health" - what more could a mother ask for?

(D slimmed down like crazy once she started crawling (she was always 75th centile for weight before) - as have I

- so you'll probably find that Sophia drops to a lower centile once she's really mobile.)

ETA: Meant to say before, your post on Sophia being cute is so NOT obnoxious. First, Sophia is incredibly cute, secondly I love to hear what she's up to, and finally the world would be a better place if all parents thought about their kids the way we all do about ours!

 

[Mara]

thanks ladies for the additional info re: feeding etc. CC i am already supplementing J with formula, we have been since the pedi wanted his weight to increase and BM was not doing it.

re: formula vs BM... i am all for whatever makes baby and mom happy. i have no hangups on EBF and if my boobs didn't work properly i would have a totally FF baby and be fine with it. heck me and my 2 sisters were raised on formula and we're fine hehe. i am glad that i can do some BF even if I seriously dislike it hehe. and i know some ladies can't who would love to so i hate whining about it but it's just so friggin painful sometimes. and i already knew going into it that it wouldn't be easy but wow i can't imagine BF'ing for like even 9 months or a year or MORE. moms who do are amazing!

IMO the babies don't know what you are feeding them whether it's BM or Formula or a cocktail like what we do.

all they know is its food and that is what matters. and i don't really believe in the bonding between Moms and kids who do EBF or whatever...i think there are other ways to bond with your kid that don't involve them sucking the life out of your boob.

(literally!!)

but yep i do agree there was more education out there and also kind of a warning label about how feeding can be difficult. one of my RL friends who had a baby a month after me has had a horrible time with BF and she was going to give up and was asking me about formula. she said that a bunch of people told her formula was EVIL. wtf! way to make a mom feel guilty without even doing anything. anyway, she is sticking with it and it's gotten a little easier but i don't see her going for very long, she's def struggling. but one of the things we talked about was hello EVERYONE tells you what kind of labor they had or how hard it was etc etc but no one talks about BF'ing and how hard it is. and it's months and months which is way longer than labor hehee. i think if more moms were prepared mentally it would be so much better for when they are hit with some struggles. i already knew it wasn't going to be easy which helped set my expectations.

anyway, i am going to try feeding J one more time a day off the boob and see what that does. right now J is doing about 70/30 where 70 is BM and 30 is Formula so if we can even stick 50/50 i'd prefer it for a while but we'll see what my supply does.

and yeah my friend might be one of those crazy producers, she actually pumps 12-15oz per session 2x a day. i wish!!

J was a HUGE hit at my office... he was so good, mesmerized by everyone. he was even smiling and gurgling for the ladies, seems he prefers the brunettes hehee, just like mom! then i had lunch with one of my girlfriends afterwards and he napped through most of it.

oh and fiery i found a BBB that carries the lullaby homedics so i plan to get one tomorrow and today at my office a coworker who has a 4 month old that won't STTN is like 'get me one too please' hehee.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I EBF for six months and it was very easy for me once it was all established etc. But I did not work and so did not need to pump, which I hated doing. BFing takes time with the first baby for sure, the change to the nipples alone is ridiculous

I have never actually heard of a second time mom having trouble BFing if she eventually managed to do it with baby number one. Since my nipples now stretch about 6 inches, are the size of frying pans, and have zero sensation, this does not surprise me either

 

[anchor31]

DITTO to everything that''s been said about feeding newborns. Looking back, our prenatal class SUCKED. We were NOT told to wake to feed the baby every 3 hours until s/he regains his/her birth weight, and we were told that BFing is easy and painless! Are you kidding me?! When my milk came in my nipples were already scabbing from J biting them and it was a NIGHTMARE. I would cry every time he would try to latch because he would only take the tip of my nipple and chomp down on it, and my boobs were hurting sooo much. Heck, he''s 14 weeks and sometimes I still have to adjust him (although he doesn''t bite me anymore, thank god). Then a nurse/LC came to see me the second day after we got home and we solved the problem, but I''d decided that if we couldn''t resolve the latching issue I would buy a bigger pump and pump exclusively (and possibly supplement with formula). My siblings and I were all formula fed, and we have no allergies, were all above average in school, etc. Yes, BM is best, but formula isn''t poison.

 

[Pandora II]

I make a point now of talking about how bad breast-feeding can be with friends who are pregnant. I think it''s wrong that they don''t really prepare you for how difficult/painful it can be at the beginning - even if you do get the latch right straight away. I do make a point of saying that things should get way better by week 3 and to see a LC as often as possible at the beginning.

10 months in, I still really enjoy feeding D - and it''s a great bribe/way of keeping her quiet/curer of all bumps and bruises. She''s currently given up pinching me and now is into stroking my face while she eats which is rather sweet, and she has lovely soft cool little hands. I came very, very close to giving up, but with DH''s allergies and his being immunocompromised I wanted her to get as many antibodies from me as possible. Even so, I still did mixed feeding for the first 5 weeks.

I am quite suprised that my boobs look no different now from how they did before I was pregnant - I hoped that the bfing would give me a great cleavage for a good few months still. Nope... only being pg did that!

 

[Mara]

Pandora I am jealous. I would love for my boobs to be like they were before PG. They are too giant now and don''t look cute in any clothes!

I do have to say it is pretty cool to be able to just pop the kid on the boob. It''s too bad that it isn''t a better experience in general for a lot of women. You think Mother Nature or the higher power or whatever you believe in could DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT??? I mean the indignities heaped on women already...periods, pregnancy, childbirth. Sheesh!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Yeah, how did the cave people (that's Summer All Year PG talk for "earlier humans") handle this breastfeeding thing? Did the new mama stay in the cave while the rest of the group brought her food and protected her from predators? Was she supposed to go about her normal business of, um, gathering berries and building fires and stuff with this crying, squirming baby trying to latch onto her boob for 40 minutes of every 2 to 3 hours?

At least now at almost 6 months her feedings only take 10 or 12 minutes. I seriously watched hours and hours of tv when she was first born because what else are you going to do for 40 minutes when you're mostly immobile?

This teacher at work just returned with 9 week old twins, and she said it is still taking them 40 minutes to nurse (yes, she is nursing twins!). Obviously she is a far stronger lady than I because I went back to work with one baby at 14 weeks, and look what a mess I became! Anyway, she's only been back one week, so I hope the pumping and sleeping and everything go well for her. Apparently she is nursing them simultaneously (otherwise it would be insanity). Claire would always make a fist and get it between her mouth and the boob just as I was bringing her in for latch-on, and she required wrangling like she was a little crocodile for the first several months, so I really don't see how I could have wrangled two wily babies onto my boobs at the same time. To this day I have difficulty getting her on with one hand (like if I'm trying to hold up my shirt or hold a shawl over me or something).

OK, those are my random BFing thoughts. Off to pump!

 

[taovandel]

I don''t think I''ll be able to catch up this time! I''m about three pages behind!

Mandy: Hmm, we were told orange veggies first and then green....but she did say that really any order would be fine--she said one solid for three days and then you can change to something else. Evan has had Carrots and Butternut Squash so far...he has loved them both---but not as much as he loves his oatmeal....he''s out of control with the oatmeal!

Sha: Sorry for having to return to work---it truly sucks...but we have to do what we have to do...ya know?

Blen: Happy 1 year to George!! I remember reading your birth story---I was about a month and a half pregnant at this time and I remember reading your birth story and just being amazed by your strength and calmness (posting while in labor!!)

Evan has a new trick that he loves to do....1 is trying to blow raspberries...he''s so cute! and the second one is one that he just really started doing regularly today...Squealing as loud as he can! He did it in the car on the way home from daycare and he hasn''t stopped all day.

I also think he is starting to piece together how to crawl. He''s not near to mastering anything yet---but I think he is starting to think about it. He keeps trying to get up on his knees---but he can barely get up on one knee and then he kinda accidentally rolls over trying to get up on the other knee.


Sorry for being so me-centric

 

[Burk]

Date: 4/7/2010 6:20:58 PM
Author: dreamer_d
I EBF for six months and it was very easy for me once it was all established etc. But I did not work and so did not need to pump, which I hated doing. BFing takes time with the first baby for sure, the change to the nipples alone is ridiculous

I have never actually heard of a second time mom having trouble BFing if she eventually managed to do it with baby number one. Since my nipples now stretch about 6 inches, are the size of frying pans, and have zero sensation, this does not surprise me either

I am a second time mom and while I don''t have trouble in the sense that at least this time I know what a good latch is, different holds, ect I have had a h*** of a time this time around-cracked nipples (still at 8 weeks haven''t healed due to vasospasms), then there''s the vasospasms themselves, oversupply (I choke the poor kid every. single. night

) Granted all my problems are cause/effect from one another but problems and painful non-the less.

I warn all my preggo friends about BFing. I don''t like it much at all. My boobs are beyond huge and they hurt pretty much all the time (thanks to vasospasms and the cracks that are STILL healing). Mara and Ginger talking about no bra makes me cringe...there is NO way I could be bra-less. They''re too big it would hurt to walk and I leak like crazy. I wear sports bras a lot and when I workout I have to wear at least 2 bras but usually 3. Miserable. But, it''s good for the kid and cheap and easy (for the most part) so I stick with it. My goal is 6 months but we''ll just have to see.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Date: 4/7/2010 4:40:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Personally, I wish there would have been more education that formula is still plenty fine for a kid. I was hit hard with a lot of lactivists and of course breast IS best so I really wanted to do it. But hey, never had milk so not much I could do about it, except to have given up a lot earlier (which I wish I did.)

I don''t think it''s right to tell people that formula is just fine. I think we''re all aware of the risks of using formula, but breastfeeding rates in the US are still dismal. Don''t get me wrong -- formula certainly has its place with moms that can''t breastfeed.

There was a study that came out several years ago that showed that if 75% of babies were breastfed in the hospital and 50% at 6 months, the cost savings would be at least $3.6 billion. This is a national health care issue, not just an issue for individual families. I''m guessing that no one here is thrilled with paying increasing health care premiums, right? I know I''m not.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2010 11:16:53 PM
Author: rockpaperscissors67

Date: 4/7/2010 4:40:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Personally, I wish there would have been more education that formula is still plenty fine for a kid. I was hit hard with a lot of lactivists and of course breast IS best so I really wanted to do it. But hey, never had milk so not much I could do about it, except to have given up a lot earlier (which I wish I did.)

I don''t think it''s right to tell people that formula is just fine. I think we''re all aware of the risks of using formula, but breastfeeding rates in the US are still dismal. Don''t get me wrong -- formula certainly has its place with moms that can''t breastfeed.

There was a study that came out several years ago that showed that if 75% of babies were breastfed in the hospital and 50% at 6 months, the cost savings would be at least $3.6 billion. This is a national health care issue, not just an issue for individual families. I''m guessing that no one here is thrilled with paying increasing health care premiums, right? I know I''m not.

RPS, sorry, I call BS.

Formula has its place for moms who CHOOSE not to breastfeed. Just like co-sleeping has a place for moms who CHOOSE to cosleep. Or those who CHOOSE to CIO. Or those who CHOOSE to baby led wean. Or those to CHOOSE breast feed their kids until their milk teeth fall out.

Get my drift?

You have your opinion, and I can respect your right to it. But I do think it is perfectly acceptable to say formula feeding is fine for those moms for whatever reason opt not to breastfeed. I fully agree that BFing has MANY benefits. But honestly, I find it odd that you would think it''s NOT fine to say it''s OK to use formula because "we''re all aware of the risks of using formula" but think it''s OK for moms to choose to have an unassisted birth. What about the risks of that?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/7/2010 9:44:42 PM
Author: Burk

Date: 4/7/2010 6:20:58 PM
Author: dreamer_d
I EBF for six months and it was very easy for me once it was all established etc. But I did not work and so did not need to pump, which I hated doing. BFing takes time with the first baby for sure, the change to the nipples alone is ridiculous

I have never actually heard of a second time mom having trouble BFing if she eventually managed to do it with baby number one. Since my nipples now stretch about 6 inches, are the size of frying pans, and have zero sensation, this does not surprise me either

I am a second time mom and while I don''t have trouble in the sense that at least this time I know what a good latch is, different holds, ect I have had a h*** of a time this time around-cracked nipples (still at 8 weeks haven''t healed due to vasospasms), then there''s the vasospasms themselves, oversupply (I choke the poor kid every. single. night

) Granted all my problems are cause/effect from one another but problems and painful non-the less.

I warn all my preggo friends about BFing. I don''t like it much at all. My boobs are beyond huge and they hurt pretty much all the time (thanks to vasospasms and the cracks that are STILL healing). Mara and Ginger talking about no bra makes me cringe...there is NO way I could be bra-less. They''re too big it would hurt to walk and I leak like crazy. I wear sports bras a lot and when I workout I have to wear at least 2 bras but usually 3. Miserable. But, it''s good for the kid and cheap and easy (for the most part) so I stick with it. My goal is 6 months but we''ll just have to see.

Burk don''t burst my bubble!

How was BFing Tayva?

I had vasospasms too and I found that if immediately after BFing I basically swueezed and massaged my nipples is totally got rid of the pain. I waould basically roll the nipple between my fingers. Got the blood pumping to the nipple again and relieved pain. As hunter''s latch improved it went away. Did you have the same thing with Tayva?

 

[Pandora II]

Dreamer - my mother said that the first couple of weeks are pretty grim with every baby (she had 4 of us) I''m afraid. She thought her boobs would have been wrecked enough from first time round to not suffer again!

RPS - I think the whole breast/formula debate is a tricky one. As someone who HAD to supplement as I literally had no milk to give Daisy, I am very grateful that we do have formulas today that are as good as they are - not like my MIL shoving Evaporated Milk into my DH and his brothers.

I also get where the hospitals are coming from. Breastfeeding rates here are pretty bad and there are a lot of women - especially amongst teenage mothers and the lower socio-economic groups - who won''t even think about it. They see boobs as sexual objects and that breastfeeding is somehow ''disgusting''. These groups would actually benefit the most - it''s free, it''s highly nutritional no matter what crap the mother is eating and all the other benefits.

They won''t even give advice on formula feeding unless you are not allowed to breastfeed or can''t for medical reasons - no milk/breast reduction surgery etc. I do think they should change this to at least giving advice on how NOT to formula-feed. My SIL and one of my friends are both using exclusively formula and both babies are HUGE. My nephew who is only 10 weeks (and was 7lbs 3oz) at birth is already over 14lbs and my friend''s baby who was 6lbs at birth is heavier at 4 months than Daisy is now.

Having struggled myself and having watched how hard my sister worked to breastfeed her daughter who had a very severe cleft plate, I do think a lot of people who don''t have any issues are a bit wimpy and give up at the first twinge, fair enough it is a free world and their right to choose, but it does come at a cost to all of us in terms of increased healthcare needs.