PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Sha]

Thanks for the sympathy and support, guys. I really appreciate it. Dalila is doing much better - seems more like her old perky self again. I'm grateful she's ok. It could've been much worse. DH and I will try to be extra careful going forward, even though I know that accidents happen - good care and intentions notwithstanding.

sunkist - thanks for sharing your experience on the teething question. Yes, bruising of her developing teeth is what I was really worried about. I fell on my mouth as well when I was a toddler, and one of my permanent teeth came through discoloured. That's why I was worried about any damage to her gums. I'll probably give my dentist acquaintance a call to see what he thinks as well.

Fiery - sorry Sophia is sick. Dalila was also congested a while back. The only thing that worked was Vicks (mixed with petroleum jelly) on her chest and back (sometimes feet too), as recommended by my pedi. Elevating her head while sleeping helped a bit too.

Drk - what a cute photo! awwww....she looks so comfy. Your nephew looks like you, I think (from a photo you posted sometime on the Preg thread). Blonde and tall and good-looking.

Steph - congrats on loosing your pregnancy weight!

phoenixgirl - hope Claire is feeling better today.

Burk - cute pic! Glad he's doing better after the shots.

China - Yeesh....I would be exhausted too, with that schedule! Sounds like you're cycling between work and 'Oliver time' without much of a break for yourself or the hubby. It definitelyl doesn't sound healthy or sustainable in the long term. Is there any chance that things will settle anytime soon? If not, I would definitely look at other options. Sure, the money might be great, but your health, sanity, and family are important too.

ETA: I just read that you're an attorney.... my best friend is an attorney as well and also having the same problem. She just had her baby (unplanned pregnancy) but before getting pregnant was working some insane hours as well. She's a great attorney, and just before getting pregnant, she was offered partnership in the firm. She hasn't given them a final decision as yet but is thinking of declining because she would be expected to work even longer hours than she was working before.

Pandora - sounds like you're going to have a very active toddler on your hands very soon!

Anchor - hmmm...sorry to hear of Jacob's fussiness with the bm all of a sudden. I know what you mean about feeling rejected, I think. Dalila has been rejecting my breast as well for the last day or so, even though her lip has healed quite a bit, enough I think for her to be able to nurse now. I think it's because she's had only spoon and bottle feedings for the last couple days. Strange how some things can just throw them off... I'm not ready to wean her and pumping at work would've been a challenge, so yesterday DH suggested we offer the breast and nothing else, and just let her cry until she decides to take it. It was rough...she cried for a good while before finally acceptingi the breast again. After that she seemed to nurse without any problem. I don't know if you'd feel want to go that route, though. Hopefully things settle down soon for you.

Mara - cute! He's getting so tall!!

socal girl - I've used CIO a few times with Dalilia - I would say we start to see results in a few days...maybe about 1-3 days. She cries for up to an hour at times, and then settles down. It must be so rough not seeing improvement after 2 weeks and with 2 hour crying slots- CIO can be so excruciating for parents at times.... It's awful hearing them cry. But I do agree that it usually does work. Perhaps more so for some babies than others. Maybe it'll just take a little bit longer with him....? if you're comfortable continuing, that is.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/14/2010 2:03:23 PM
Author: vizsla
so cal - i know your pedi told you to do CIO, but what is your *heart* telling you? you don''t have to listen to the pedi if you don''t feel it''s right for your baby - YOU know your baby best, KWIM?

this is just my humble - my baby is not sleeping thru the night so i don''t have any room to talk - and am against CIO opinion ..... BUT CIO is not for every parent, OR every baby. it ''generally'' works, but i''m surprised your pedi didn''t give you another option as well. to say emphatically ''this will make your baby sleep'' - i think - is in error.

i would be worried that after 2 weeks of 2+ hours of crying your baby will start to associate sleeping as a time where i cry and thus be fearful of sleeping or going to sleep or his crib etc.

i would look into other night time parenting options to help him sleep. i think 2 weeks is plenty of time to see that your strong willed little one is not CIO material.

(runs away)

So cal - just to add my against CIO and baby that sometimes STTN opinion...

I''ve found that there are stages where Daisy sleeps really well and perhaps stirs once or twice in a night, and then phases where she wakes up and wants to eat more etc and they nearly always coincide with teething or major milestones (or the 4 month wakeful hell time!). Sleeping with her, I''m able to be very aware of exactly what is going on at night - like at the moment she''s having a lot of problems with either nightmares or tummy-ache (hard to be sure which), if she was in a cot in another room I would probably just think she was waking up because she was hungry or something. IME, waking up at night is due to a need rather than a want.

I think doing CIO for 15 minutes or so for a week is one thing, but it seems that you are just finding that you are all stressed, unhappy and more sleepless! One of the reasons I would never do CIO with Daisy is because I have seen what happens in the car - she has always hated it and will happily scream for 2 hours or more. It''s only been since xmas that she has got a bit better and that is only because she''ll fall asleep for a bit of the journey, but we dread seeing the little eyes opening! Nothing has worked - I sat next to her, we''ve waited till she''s exhausted, you name it, we tried it and she still hates it. 7 months of solid screaming did not teach Daisy that there was no point in crying she was not coming out of the carseat, so I firmly believe that some babies will be the same about bedtime.

Like Viz, I would worry that you are setting up a situation where bedtime has an unhappy association rather than teaching him to sleep.

As I say, this is coming from someone with a bias on the CIO issue, so feel free to ignore.

 

[Dreamer_D]

So Cal... How are you doing CIO? I ask because you mention going in and picking him up. In my humble opinion, based on experience and my PhD in psychology

if you go in *at all* you have taught your child to cry longer. I really think that CIO only works properly if you put yourself in a cage somewhere and DO NOT go into that room. For us it took two nights. If you go in eventually after letting him cry for a long period, or even short, it teaches the child to cry longer and longer. BUT, that said, I do not think the method is for everyone or every baby. If I was in your shoes and was NOT going in there and he was still crying for 2 hours after 2 weeks, I would move on frankly.

 

[Mara]

thanks for the tip on the jumper CC..i''ll check it out. and doesn''t J look like a little man in that pic? so cute.

re: CIO...i think it can work for some kids, in certain instances. i know for us that if i let J cry or work himself into a frenzy that he typically will not cry himself to a ''lasting'' sleep. but if he cries for 5 min after i put him down, and i walk in there and reswaddle him and verbally soothe him, typically he drops off within 2-3 minutes. i am sure this will change as he gets older and develops more and more of his personality...but we''ll see. some days are easier than others.

socal...did you guys try doing the timed approach...where you soothe, put him down and then leave. if he cries, let him cry for 2 min..go back in, rinse and repeat. let him cry for 5 min, rinse and repeat. keep going adding increments.

other random thought but is anything changing in your household right now or is anything ''different'' than it was before? if so i am wondering if he is reacting to it.

i went to carters today, the only place i could find any long sleeve side snap tshirts anymore after visiting two BRU! so, YAY my kid''s belly will no longer be pooching out of the newborn ones we have already, he''s a big boy now in 3 months hee.

i also am currently in love with our new stroller. i can navigate it through store aisles with one hand. love it!

and all this work discussion--we have so many changes going on at my company... literally i wonder if my job will still be there when i return AND if it is there, is the person who''s been filling in for me going to try to steal it from me. there are a ton of changes, everyone is jockeying for position and to be in the limelight for the new VP. ugh!! i go back in 4.5 weeks...hopefully most of the drama will be over by then but with my luck i''ll return right in the thick of all the politics.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/14/2010 1:38:39 PM
Author: so cal girl
Mara - Most of the time I don''t pick him up. I was told by the doctor to just sooth him verbally and then leave the room. But lately (the last few nights) he has been so upset that I have been picking him up. Either way, he won''t go back to sleep. If I just leave him in the crib, he''ll still cry for two hours.

OK, that is bad advice from a learning theory perspective

How often are you going in? Being there and not giving the baby what he wants is just torture for you and for him. It will not soothe him, it will just tease him... "I am right here but I am not going to pick you up!"

I am exxagerating for effect, but the books are wrong in my opinion. The way that reinforcement works is that an animal -- including a baby -- will persist in a behaviour as long as it gets results. If you came in, BOOM there is a result, and if he gets in your bed BOOM there is a BIG positive reinforcement for, you got it, crying for a loooong time. Extinction of a behaviour happens when it does not result in the desired outcome. So I really believe the only way for CIO to work is to shut the door and do no go in unless you think your child is hurt or really in trouble.

Unfortunately, it sounds mean and feels aweful. And in you case, because the pattern has been learned, it will be longer and harder to break it. He alweady knows that crying for 2 hours is the magic bullet. So it will take longer to let him learn to put himself to sleep and not cry for you.

Do you want to tackle it? Up to you! But I think that is it worth it when you kiddo sleeps. At least it was for us.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/14/2010 2:03:23 PM
Author: vizsla
so cal - i know your pedi told you to do CIO, but what is your *heart* telling you? you don't have to listen to the pedi if you don't feel it's right for your baby - YOU know your baby best, KWIM?

this is just my humble - my baby is not sleeping thru the night so i don't have any room to talk - and am against CIO opinion ..... BUT CIO is not for every parent, OR every baby. it 'generally' works, but i'm surprised your pedi didn't give you another option as well. to say emphatically 'this will make your baby sleep' - i think - is in error.

i would be worried that after 2 weeks of 2+ hours of crying your baby will start to associate sleeping as a time where i cry and thus be fearful of sleeping or going to sleep or his crib etc.

i would look into other night time parenting options to help him sleep. i think 2 weeks is plenty of time to see that your strong willed little one is not CIO material.

(runs away)

Not saying you are not correct, Viz, each parent must make their own choices for sure! There is no right or wrong answer...

But with respect to the two weeks and CIO "not working" I would reiterate the points I made above. I think there is a lot of failure with the method because of the strange methods that have become common that basically fly in the face of ALL known learning theory. (i.e., Ferber, going in and patting etc).

Like I said, when learning theory is taken into account, it is actually quite fast. Provided there are not bad habits to "break" in addition to the already challenging task of the child learning to put him or heself to sleep.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/14/2010 8:16:00 PM
Author: Mara
thanks for the tip on the jumper CC..i''ll check it out. and doesn''t J look like a little man in that pic? so cute.

socal...did you guys try doing the timed approach...where you soothe, put him down and then leave. if he cries, let him cry for 2 min..go back in, rinse and repeat. let him cry for 5 min, rinse and repeat. keep going adding increments.

Thisi s the Ferber method and it is actually the perfect way to teach you child to cry at night

The reinforcement comes after longer and longer periods, meaning baby learns to cry longer and longer.

OK, enough from me. I have my panties in a knot because I cannot understand how this approach became so common in the "self help" area when it is so patently wrong from a theoretical and empirical perspective

 

[steph72276]

Mara, I looked at the Bumbleride and I''m thinking it might be what I am looking for. Do you mind answering a few ? before I make the haul to a store that carries them....do you think it would be good for slow jogs? I like to run about 2-3 miles on the sidewalk, but I''m pretty slow, do you think it would be smooth for a slow run pace? Also, it says it''s 20 lbs....do you think it could take the place of a Maclaren type stroller for mall trips and such? If it can do both of those things in one, I think it might be worth the price for me to get. Thanks!

 

[mtjoya]

Hello, Ladies

Question-Have any of you ladies tried "gdiapers" for you LO''s? They are these "environment friendly" cloth/disposable diapers? I am thinking of possibly doing the switch to these. I have included a linky. Thanks!

http://www.gdiapers.com/

 

[Mara]

dreamer...what you posted is interesting. so with ''real'' CIO you should just put the child down, soothe them then that''s it? and how do you know when it''s been long enough or doesn''t work? what if the child cries for 2-3 hours or more?

steph...yes the indie can be used for light jogging, it''s considered a jogger. it does have a swivel wheel but you can lock it so it becomes fixed (another perk that a lot of other strollers don''t have). in terms of it''s size, it is not as big as a lot of the joggers but it is still a 3 wheeler. i looked at some othre joggers today at BRU just for fun and they were all bigger than the indie. it will not get you through tiny aisles that an umbrella would but it def is a regular stroller size, not jumbo. if you can get a 2009 online they are like $379 with no tax and free ship...so it''s not a bad deal! AND it comes with car seat adapter, rain cover, cup holder and tire pump. my friend who bought the BOB pointed out all that stuff was separate for her, and each thing is like $30 so if you bought 3 things it would be another $90 etc. it is not bad in the end when you compare everything. the only thing i don''t love is the sun shade could be a bit further down but i knew that about it, and i can always drape an A&A blanket over it to block out more if i need to.

umm i wrote this hours ago and thought i posted it. der!

 

[steph72276]

Mara, thanks for the feedback. I am so indecisive about the strollers, mainly b/c I am cheap! But I know I would get a ton of use out of a jogger since A''s school is a 1/2 mile from our house and tons of the kids ride their bikes while their moms go up with them. I don''t feel that bad about spending the $ since I will get years and years of use out of it. Hardly anyone around here sells the BOB, I have to go to some place downtown to find it. They sell the Bumbleride at a place by one of our malls here, so I think I will take a look at it this weekend. Thanks again for the info!

 

[Mandarine]

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry I''ve been MIA....it''s been busy around here!!!

The baptism went GREAT! The boys were so good

I''ll have to post a few pics later...

CIO I actually agree that sometimes going back just makes matters worse. Because I knew I couldn''t let my babies cry indefinitely, I tried the modified CIO...where I knew if after X amount of minutes they were still crying I would go in. I never got to my time limit (45 minutes) and it took 2 days, then one day of no crying and then 2 more funky days. That was it...they''ve been STTN ever since!. I don''t think CIO is the "magic solution" for every parent or every baby. I think there is a right time to do it...and that''s when the baby is ready. In my case, they were waking up once per night (each) and would only eat like 3 oz, then go back down the rest of the night (I didn''t even have to soothe them when I put them back down). They didn''t even seem that interested in eating at that point, so that''s why I felt like they were ready (they were also a week shy from 6 months). I think trying it too soon (or too late) definitely affects the results (or how long the process will take).

Oh and wanted to add that in this modified CIO, you don''t go back in at all in your time limit. This method seemed good to me because I knew there would be an end to it if they were still crying.

At the end of the day though, listening to your Dr is no different than going to Dr Google. All Drs will have their own *personal* opinions....so don''t do something just because the "Dr" said. Follow what your instinct is telling you...

Bumbleride (Mara & Steph) The bumbleride is not intended for jogging...some sites say "light jogging"...but it''s really more for brisk walks. Two or 3 miles is not light jogging (IMO)...so I think if you''re looking for a jogger, you should get a real jogger (that''s my humble opinion!). I researched the heck out of the Bumbleride because I wanted to convince myself I could use it for light jogging (I''m not really all that fast and never go more than 3 miles when I''m pushing them)...but the truth is that''s still jogging and while the Bumbleride has great suspension it does not compare at all to the suspension of a jogger like the BOB. Which I think makes a HUGE difference when you''re jogging (even if it''s slow or for short distances).

Steph, I''m not sure where in FL are you?...but anyway, if you''re near Broward, try Baby Love...they have ALL the strollers you can possibly want to try!.


China I''m so sorry about your job situation...I really hope you guys find a solution. I really admire you guys that are going out to work full time in an office. I have no idea how you guys do it all!!!!.

MTjoya I think Blen uses these! If I had one baby I would definitely try them!

 

[vizsla]

Date: 4/14/2010 8:20:24 PM
Author: dreamer_d

Date: 4/14/2010 2:03:23 PM

Author: vizsla

so cal - i know your pedi told you to do CIO, but what is your *heart* telling you? you don't have to listen to the pedi if you don't feel it's right for your baby - YOU know your baby best, KWIM?


this is just my humble - my baby is not sleeping thru the night so i don't have any room to talk - and am against CIO opinion ..... BUT CIO is not for every parent, OR every baby. it 'generally' works, but i'm surprised your pedi didn't give you another option as well. to say emphatically 'this will make your baby sleep' - i think - is in error.


i would be worried that after 2 weeks of 2+ hours of crying your baby will start to associate sleeping as a time where i cry and thus be fearful of sleeping or going to sleep or his crib etc.


i would look into other night time parenting options to help him sleep. i think 2 weeks is plenty of time to see that your strong willed little one is not CIO material.


(runs away)

Not saying you are not correct, Viz, each parent must make their own choices for sure! There is no right or wrong answer...


But with respect to the two weeks and CIO 'not working' I would reiterate the points I made above. I think there is a lot of failure with the method because of the strange methods that have become common that basically fly in the face of ALL known learning theory. (i.e., Ferber, going in and patting etc).


Like I said, when learning theory is taken into account, it is actually quite fast. Provided there are not bad habits to 'break' in addition to the already challenging task of the child learning to put him or heself to sleep.

totally understood - and, like i said, i have a biased opinion on CIO. i should have used other words in lieu of 'not working' - what i meant to say is that if she isn't getting the desired results and it's too stressful to continue than maybe she needs to try another approach. you'll find no arguments from me and my BA of fine arts degree

on the educational/psychological POV for CIO. i do too much of my parenting based on emotion.

 

[Mandarine]

Hi guys, I saw this on the multiples board and thought you guys may be interested!

This mom of triplets swears her babies started STTN mainly due to her homemade gripe water

Here is the link to the "recipe": Home made gripe water

 

[ChinaCat]

Morning ladies.

Just wanted to pop in and say thanks again. DH and I has a mini-talk last night and we are going to sit down next week and figure out our options. Even if I decide to hang in there for a bit longer, just knowing I have options and can quit if I need to gives me huge relief.

Also, headed out of town for my little sister''s wedding. Happy day!

Pray/dust for NO RAIN.

So I probably won''t be around till next week. Didn''t want you all to think I''d gone off the deep end or something.

Hope everyone has a lovely rest of the week and weekend.

 

[Sha]

Date: 4/14/2010 8:12:35 PM
Author: dreamer_d
So Cal... How are you doing CIO? I ask because you mention going in and picking him up. In my humble opinion, based on experience and my PhD in psychology

if you go in *at all* you have taught your child to cry longer. I really think that CIO only works properly if you put yourself in a cage somewhere and DO NOT go into that room. For us it took two nights. If you go in eventually after letting him cry for a long period, or even short, it teaches the child to cry longer and longer. BUT, that said, I do not think the method is for everyone or every baby. If I was in your shoes and was NOT going in there and he was still crying for 2 hours after 2 weeks, I would move on frankly.

Yes, I''ve found that to be true, as well. Dalila always cries longer and harder when we peak in on her while doing CIO, and after we leave the room. She might be whimpering softly when we come in, but as soon as she sees us she starts wailing and flailing around madly. It''s like she''s thinking, ''Oh good, they''re here...all that crying worked. Maybe if I cry even harder they''ll stop wasting my time and pick me up already!". I swear she''s thiniking this! Once she sees us, she figures the crying is working. So she just cries even more.

When I do CIO now with her, I kiss her on her cheek and say some comforting words like "Okay, baby, time for your nap. Mommy has to go to bathe now, okay?'', (the kiss etc is her cue that Mommy will not be coming back right away) then walk out and shut the door. She usually cries for about 20 minutes - 1 hour and then settles down, once she sees the crying isn''t getting her what she wants. It sounds cruel, but it really does work. Everytime I''ve done CIO, we''ve seen improvement towards the desired behaviour in a few days. It''s really hard to ignore the crying, though. I think parents are just wired to respond to their babies when they cry. However, sometimes I don''t feel we have any other option. Dalila is very strong-willed and can be VERY insistent about wanting what she wants, (such as wanting to be up when she should be napping or sleeping, eating plastic, or refusing breast milk),even though that particular thing may not be good for her. CIO gives the control back to the parents to help break negative patterns and introduce habits that would be healthier for both parent and child. It''s painful while you''re doing it, sure - but I think the end result makes it worth it.

 

[lovelylulu]

Date: 4/15/2010 9:47:00 AM
Author: ChinaCat
Morning ladies.

Just wanted to pop in and say thanks again. DH and I has a mini-talk last night and we are going to sit down next week and figure out our options. Even if I decide to hang in there for a bit longer, just knowing I have options and can quit if I need to gives me huge relief.

Also, headed out of town for my little sister''s wedding. Happy day!

Pray/dust for NO RAIN.

So I probably won''t be around till next week. Didn''t want you all to think I''d gone off the deep end or something.

Hope everyone has a lovely rest of the week and weekend.

just popping in to say that I appreciate this recent discussion.

I am in a nearly identical position as China (attorney/enjoy my job, but not its wild hours/don''t really want to SAH) though our babe is still baking. My current schedule has been fairly ridiculous and though I have the option to work PT, my profession just doesn''t make for a nice, tidy neat schedule (read: I will be working on my one day *off*, in the evenings after babe is sleeping, weekends). As this kid comes nearer to entering the world, I''m starting to worry more about how it will all work out and I know that it''s impossible to know until you are in the thick of it. but, I suppose that I should just start researching my options now . . . too bad the job market isn''t more robust.

I also very much appreciate all the pictures of these adorable babies

 

[Mara]

lol CC... it's good you guys had a prelim talk. we actually did last nite too just because we were discussing my job situation/reorg. so we'll see how things work out, the 3 months he has with my Mom is like our 'trial' period. have fun this wkd!

mandarine...that's weird, the guy at the store (who was actually pretty knowledgeable) called it a jogger. i figured light jogging. and the way it moves during a 3.5mph brisk walk on rough sidewalks is actually really impressive, so with the wheel fixed, i would imagine it'd be fine for light jogging (5mph) on a not-rough-road. steph not sure what your roads are like but when you go see the indie i'd also ask the store what they think (and look online). since i am only a brisk walker i didn't care about the jogging aspect.

also this site (and a few others on Dr Google) list it as a jogging stroller?
http://www.babble.com/best-jogging-strollers-bob-revolution-jeep-overland-ironman-bumbleride-performance-dreamer-design-rebound-merge/

re: CIO.. it's funny but J's crying does not typically bother me, IF i know it's not 'painful' crying and it's just 'i don't wanna sleep' crying. he is extremely stubborn or has the personality to be, so i can def see some battles of wills in the future haha. G says whenever J struggles about going to bed, that he almost likes the challenge it presents haha.

 

[steph72276]

Thanks Mandi and Mara for the stroller info. I think the Bumbleride should be okay b/c really I am SO slow...like 4-4.5 mph would be my max, so really I''m at the pace of a fast walker. I really need to just go out and see them all in person I guess. Mandi, I used to live in Weston so that store would have been perfect, but we moved to Orlando a while back. Unfortunately I can''t find a place that sells both the BOB and the Bumbleride in 1 place, so I will be store hopping this weekend! Thanks again ladies!

 

[so cal girl]

Just a real quick post because I am swamped today. I just skimmed everyone''s advice, but I just wanted to explain some more. I have tried straight cry it out, and I have tried the Ferber method. Even if I do not go in the room at all, he still screams for two hours. Anything I do, he cries for up to two hours.

He actually STTN last night. That must have been his birthday present to me

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/15/2010 11:36:08 AM
Author: so cal girl
Just a real quick post because I am swamped today. I just skimmed everyone''s advice, but I just wanted to explain some more. I have tried straight cry it out, and I have tried the Ferber method. Even if I do not go in the room at all, he still screams for two hours. Anything I do, he cries for up to two hours.

He actually STTN last night. That must have been his birthday present to me

Then I think finding another option that works for your family may be in order! I know I would not persist forever either. Co-sleeping or simply doing the one wake up a night with a feed are the options I would consider. I have friends who did both and their kids are doing great and their sanity was saved

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/15/2010 12:17:50 AM
Author: Mara
dreamer...what you posted is interesting. so with ''real'' CIO you should just put the child down, soothe them then that''s it? and how do you know when it''s been long enough or doesn''t work? what if the child cries for 2-3 hours or more?

Well, I certainly don''t have all the answers

, this stuff it not actually studied specifically in developmental psych to my knowledge, all I know is that Ferber seems wrong. But we did use a cut off point like Mandarine did. I know a lot of the moms on here have talked about a 20 minute rule, which makes lots of sense once the child is STTN and has a single wake up or something, but that was not long enough when we were starting. I think we said 45 minutes to ourselves too, but it seemed like he was going longer and longer in between cries (like 10 minutes at times) when we hit that point so we could see it was working and just persisted.

I have no idea what should be done, though, if the baby literally screams like a banshee for 2 hours! I think I would try something else, like cosleeping or simply resigning myself to one feed a night, if that was it.

 

[so cal girl]

Thanks for the input dreamer. I think you might be right. I was pretty much ready to just feed him if he woke up last night, but then he ended up STTN. He didn''t even seem hungry in the morning, although he was covered in poop! If it''s not one thing, it''s another

Anyway, I hope everyone''s babies are doing well today. We are heading off to Disneyland for my birthday today. DH had the day off today, so I decided to just take a last minute vacation day.

 

[fieryred33143]

Have fun China and congrats to your sister

.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOCAL! Hope you have a wonderful day at Disneyland! And yay for STTN!

How often was he getting up to eat at night?

I think pedis sort of advocate CIO because for some reason they feel that after a certain age, the baby shouldn''t be getting up to eat at night anymore. Well you know what, some babies are hungry. We had one pedi suggest that we stop feeding her at night but at the time Sophia was taking 5 to 6oz per bottle so I felt bad just not giving it to her. Once I noticed that she was only having 2 to 3oz then we stopped feeding.

With Sophia, we can usually put her down and she''ll fall asleep right away but sometimes she doesn''t. I know her limit, she gets to a certain pitch in her voice where I know there''s no coming back from it. If I go in there, I pick her up, rub her back, and within seconds she''s asleep vs letting her cry for however much longer on her own. I made the decision to go in when she gets to that point because a) it only takes a few seconds and b) I don''t get to see her as much anyway so any seconds I can steal I do.

Re: naps

I''m still having nap issues with MIL. Sophia has her own sleep style. There are days when she just wants to be left alone. Yesterday for example I was with her all day and tried to get her to nap around 2pm. I usually give a bottle and rock for a minute so that she can sleep. It didn''t work, she was screaming in my arms, so I put her in the crib and walked away. Five minutes later she went to sleep on her own. She also gets really distracted. She needs to be in a quiet room, without much interaction. Just hearing the wind outside is enough for her to fight sleep. Once she''s asleep, the noise doesn''t matter as much. She also does not like to feel heat (just like her father)

Well, MIL refuses to put DD down in her bed until she''s totally asleep in her arms. That wouldn''t be as much of an issue if she didn''t have the loud kitchen TV on or if FIL wasn''t hovering over MIL going "do you want me to try? Give her to me, I''ll try. Come Sophia, give her to me, come on" etc. They do this to each other. Also, MIL sings the entire time which distracts her and when FIL puts her to sleep, he''ll leave her on his chest for a long time and she wakes up because she''s hot.

It''s a huge headache. I can''t tell them to shut their TV off because that''s not my house. I''ve told them our sleeping techniques but they think it''s cruel

(PS They still make comments about how Sophia is ALL ALONE in her room when she should be with us)

So we are starting to do CIO for naps but not for our benefit since she doesn''t give me any problems. I''m teaching her how to put herself to sleep without much interaction with another person. Hopefully it''ll be enough for her to fall asleep on her own at MILs. She''s down to 1 30min-45min nap now. If that were the norm or if she were a challenged sleeper, then fine. But at home with me she takes 2 2.5-3hr naps. It upsets me to think of her being exhausted but not knowing how to get to sleep.

Daycare/stay home

We''re also deciding whether to put Sophia in daycare when she hits 1 or have FI be a SAHD when his office closes down in August so that he can finish school and work on his business. I am grateful to have had MIL there to take care of Sophia because despite her...um...''unique'' ways, she does take good care of her. But I want Sophia to have more interaction with other children and I think the daycare enviornment will help a little more with her development.

 

[Mara]

fiery re: daycare... i would feel more comfortable with J in daycare after 1 as well, but some moms i know who put their kids in daycare said they also felt like the baby wasn''t THAT interested in social interaction til 1.5 or 2 years. i guess it would also depend on the kid.

and re: MIL''s unique techniques... while i am so grateful to have my mom watching J for us this summer as she is family, adores him and i know he will enjoy it too... i am also a little afraid for the routines we are building up. my mom HATES to have him cry or even utter a negative noise in her presence and she will literally just carry or rock him the whole time if that is what keeps him quiet. literally the other day she was leaving after visiting and she gave him to me and he started up his low fuss and she was like oh do you want me to take him back, oh here just let me hold him one more time, is he hungry?, oh he doesn''t want to be held that way. i was like ... mom he is FINE, GOODBYE and she literally was holding out her arms trying to get him back JUST because he started fussing. sheesh! i know that she won''t want to do any sort of fuss or crying for naps when he is with her and sometimes he DOES need to just be put down and walk away because having us there stimulates him. and sometimes you have to try diff things with him for him to be able to fall asleep...we are also obviously trying to foster falling asleep on his own which means mom''s holding/rocking for the entire time won''t be conducive to our plans. AND she assumes if he is fussing it means something like he''s hungry or hurt.

oh i should also point out that when she rocks him to sleep then tries to put him in his crib he always wakes up 10-15 min later. sooo anyway i am going to have to try to get her to try my methods. thankfully my sister will be home with her when we are in hawaii, which will be the first time she has him 24 hours, so my sis can try to enforce what she knows we believe in so at least we will have some representation. not sure how much it will help though!

is 3 days enough for him to totally unlearn our good habits? i hope not!

 

[vizsla]

Fiery. Real quick. Condolences on your nap situation. You are handling it much better than I would. I think I would have lost it long ado on my Mil if she was doing the same thing. Especially if Sophia is sleeping 5 hours a day w you and only 45 with mil?? Yikes lady.
FWIW re: daycare- for the record I hate that c is in day care at all (meaning I want to be home with him or have Dh home with him) bbbuuuutttt I will say that having c in a good daycare is the least stressful thing about him the daycare we use is seriously awesome and c smiles and giggles the moment we get in the door. All of the workers love him and are always giving him kisses and snuggles. Just today when I dropped him off he gave his caregiver the loudest giggle (which I thought was just reserved for mommy) when I peeked in again before leaving he was on the floor staring at another baby and laughing. I guess my point is that originally the idea of daycare was awful to me, but now I see how happy he is when he is there and how much stimulation he is getting and I appreciate it so much.

ETA: gah, in my round about way i forgot to say what i really meant to and that is what ALSO is great about daycare is that you can tell them EXACTLY how you want sophia's day to go and they will follow it..

 

[phoenixgirl]

Quick pop-in.

Will have to explain sheepishly to students tomorrow that I have not graded their essays and will be turning in their grades "late" (actually, just waiting until the second "are these really their grades?" verification sheet to verify that, oops, all these grades are wrong). Oh well. PG has senioritis and is majorly sleep-deprived.

So, my early confession is that I have begun sleeping with the sound machine on to drown out Claire at night. I still wake up to feed her 1x per night, but this way I don''t spring awake at her every coo.

Speaking of, does a 6 month old EBF baby need to wake up 1x per night (like, eats for the last time between 6 and 8 p.m., eats once between 2 and 4 a.m., then eats again at 6 or 7 a.m.)? Because I''m getting even a little crazier than I was before from not sleeping. I haven''t yet had the heart to let her CIO, although I have tried to give her the pacifier and leave, but then she starts wailing, and she seems genuinely (though not ravenously) hungry when eating.

Mommy needs more sleep! Hence the sound machine. At least I sleep better that way.

Our pedi said there was nothing we could do to help her sleep through the night, but she''s kind of a softy. I figure another pedi would say something different. It''s not like we''re talking about a 6 week old.

Thoughts?

P.S. We''re starting solids next week.

 

[Dreamer_D]

PG I started wearing ear plugs when Hunter was about 3 months old and still do

If he really needed me, either I heard him through the plugs or DH would let me know. Woked a charm! I still wear them. As to the STTN issue... I have heard of babies STTN at 6mo. but personally I felt more comfortable at 9mo when I knew Hunter was eating more.

 

[Mara]

PG...well yes babies CAN STTN at 6 months on sole BM...my friend's baby does it. she is 4.5 months and she sleeps 11-12 hours a night, every night and has since month 2 i think. but is she the exception not the rule? who knows. if you feel like she eats hungrily, then i would say keep giving her that feeding or maybe try to up her other feedings during the day or do a larger feeding at 8pm to try to get her to go further. if she wasn't eating or just ate 2oz then fell back asleep it might be diff but sounds like she wants to eat.

oh well and i guess my confession should be that i have the video monitor in our room at night but he sleeps in the bassinet so we can't see him, we just have the monitor turned towards the bassinet so we CAN see his arm flailing in the morning since he always gets out of his swaddle. and i have the sound super duper low since it picks up static and does this weird alien-clicking noise thing sometimes and it will wake me up from sleep and then i lay there listening for noises. his room is literally 5 feet from our room so i can hear him in person loud and clear, so we don't even really use it at night. i do use it during the day when i am in the LR and he is in his crib. the few times i did have it on louder, his little sleeping noises end up freaking me out, esp when they wake you up from sleep and you aren't sure WHAT you heard.

re: naps, wow i would love it if J would nap 5 hours a day!! he only sleeps maybe 2-3 hours a day...well i guess its 5 if you count his 'early morning' 2-3 hours of sleep at 7:30am which i just lump in with his nighttime sleep. but he is not interested in napping at all, too many things to see.

i've noticed that RPS hasn't posted at all since the BF/FF discussion which makes me sad. i am sorry to lose such a valuable BF'ing resource esp for new moms. RPS if you are reading this, please don't go away and post telling us how Ben is doing.

 

[drk]

Diito the shoutout to RPS. I''ve certainly appreciated your BF advice (and your posts in general). Hope you''re still out there!

Am awaiting our next doc appointment in a few hours to see how the weight gain is going. Would love to stop feeding/pumping so frequently, but I doubt that will happen. Must ask the lactation consultant on Sat how I''d go about getting back to just nursing. Problem is that there''s usually an extra ounce in there after she''s done feeding, and she''s usually acting hungry still, even after 1 hour of nursing. Ugh. At least we''ve done 4.5 weeks of EBF so far, despite the issues, which makes me really proud. I''m totally committed to BF, mostly because of the terrible eczema and asthma that DH has, along with all the various allergies present in his side of the family. I''m hoping this will help Kara avoid some of those problems.